Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Star Trek or anything else mentioned in this story
Author Notes:
This story is more like a parody of Love Hina and Star trek and will feature a lot of familiar characters from different shows will make a cameo appearance and pop culture references as well.
Words in Italics are thoughts and descriptions
Everything in regular type is spoken words
Love Hina: The Next Generation
Chapter 4
War Games
Wow. I cannot believe it, no perverts in my bed or in my room.
Well, I guess I will have a bowl of Trix cereal before starting my day.
She picks up the box of cereal and before she can open the box a large white rabbit barges into the room and rips the cereal box right out of Naru's hands.
He points a finger at her.
NO!
Stupid girl. Trix is for kids, bitch.
She runs after the white rabbit and as she runs after the rabbit, Motoko is walking past Naru's room.
She runs into her and Naru's hands touch Motoko's chest and that pissed her off.
You stupid perverted moron. When will you ever learn to stop your perverted antics?
But that white rabbit stole my cereal.
I did not see anything but this lying perverted girl who is delusional as well.
Just before Motoko pulled her sword to dispense justice, Naru saw the white rabbit gave her the finger before running off.
She pulled out her sword and dispensed Motoko style justice and then walked to wherever she was going.
Will I ever get a day without being felt up by perverts or beat up for accidents that I didn't start?
Su walked toward Naru and was whistling as if she was trying to look innocent. She went up to Naru and ripped off her shirt and starting to laugh as she ran away.
She wasn't wearing anything underneath and one would wonder why she hadn't thought of that after so many of their perverted antics that they have pulled on her.
Betcha can't catch me ha ha ha ha!
You damn pervert, give me back my shirt! She started to run throughout the ship topless and unbeknown to Naru, Su was leading her to transporter room B where they were about to start the plan.
In transporter room B
Naru ran after Su who went into Transporter room B.
Ah ha! I got you now. She ran into Transporter room B and what she found was not what she expected.
Captain Urashima and some of his crew were inside getting ready for their mission and then they saw a topless Naru barge into the room to catch Su.
Oh Hello Naru. I like your style. There is nothing like seeing your large bare chest to start the day right. I don't know what your problem is with me seeing your ass though.
You bastard. She punched the captain and sent him flying. Fortunately for her, Motoko wasn't around so she didn't get hit for it like most other times.
Hey Naru, you can have your shirt back now.
Su hands Naru her shirt but cops a feel before giving it to her.
Naru knew that hitting Su was impossible due to her incredible speed but she tried to hit her again but no success.
Ok people listen up. Here is the plan of attack. The war games between the Hinata Sou and the Excalibur will start soon so me Naru, Su and ensigns Haitani and Shirai and uh what is your name again?
Ensign Jenkins, sir.
Right.
Seta and Motoko are going to stay behind and run the ship giving them the appearance that we are playing fair. The plan calls for Su to insert a computer virus into their ship's mainframe while ensigns Haitani, Shirai, and uh Jenkins stand watch.
So Keitaro what is our mission going to be? Naru had to ask since Keitaro and she didn't seem to be needing on this mission.
Naru and I are going to do a little "shopping" since we need supplies and I spent all of our credits on sake.
You mean stealing, right?
Well, duh of course we are stealing. Do you really think they are just going to hand over stuff that they paid for?
I guess not.
We can't go back until we complete the mission but we can teleport the stuff we take without getting caught so no one better leave until the mission is complete or else.
Okay lets do it.
Before anyone can get into the transporter, a short man barges into the transporter room carrying a gun. Naru is the first to ask who he is.
Who the fuck are you, bitch?
I'm Elmer Fudd and I am hunting rabbit. Oh by the way you are the one that is the bitch, bitch
You say that word one more time and I am going to kick your ass. Oh are you?
Well there is this one rabbit that likes to steal Trix cereal. Tell you what I am going to do. If you catch this rabbit and show me the rabbit alive so I can make it regret stealing my Trix cereal, I will forget that you snuck aboard a federation star ship which by the way is a crime and let you leave without a beating from me, okay.
I guess so. I can catch a different rabbit. I do it. Leave it to me. I catch that damn rabbit for ya.
He leaves to catch that rabbit and everyone gets on the transporter and Keitaro gives the order.
Energize.
Su and the three ensigns transport to a secluded spot in the Excalibur's engineering section.
Okay, you three look out and see if the coast is clear and please be quiet about taking out the enemy. We don't want them to catch on to our plan.
Yes, ma'am.
They search the engineering deck for any of Kentaro's men and dispatch them quickly and return to where Su was waiting.
Did you get all of them taken care of?
Yes, ma'am.
Of course, they were a little sloppy and missed one who followed them back to where Su was hiding.
You bastard, I am going to get you now. He fired a phaser at Su but she threw one of the ensigns in the way of the phaser blast and it killed him.
Haitani fired his phaser and knocked him out with it.
Is everyone all right?
We are all fine but ensign "what's his name" is dead.
Oh well, no harm done. Now lets start uploading this here computer virus and then we can win this game.
Meanwhile. . . .
Keitaro and Naru transported to a secluded part of the ship to begin "shopping" for supplies.
Naru felt a chill run down her spine and then noticed something was missing.
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES!
Hey quiet down. By the way, I like your plan. Run around completely naked to distract everyone while I get the supplies
That isn't my idea, you pervert. The thought that he was staring at her started to bother her. Do you mind?
No, not at all. I guess it must have been a transporter accident. We have them from time to time. You shouldn't bitch too much though.
And why the hell not?
Well, there was this one time when a guy and a girl used the transporter and their uh you know switched places.
You're kidding, right.
Nope. They didn't find out until nature called. It must have an experience having to use different equipment.
And what happened to them?
Well, when our doctor informed them it was permanent, they committed suicide. I personally wouldn't want that happening to me.
And why wasn't I informed of this?
Well, you never asked and it never came up.
Hey, there is the storeroom where they keep all of the supplies.
In the storeroom . . .
Oh no. . . . this door requires a password.
Hey, let me try my old password. Kentaro wasn't one for changing passwords and was very much lazy in this regard.
She types in her password and it opens up.
Great lets go inside and start looking around at the wares.
They go inside and find out that there is hardly anything here at all.
Damn, they must be waiting for a resupply. Well, there isn't anything here at all.
Keitaro's communicator started to receive a transmission.
Captain, the virus has been planted. We only have a minute and a half to transport out so hurry up. Su out.
Oh well, I guess we better get going. Damn how in the hell am I going to get supplies now.
Captain to Hinata Sou
Transporter chief here.
Two to beam up.
Back on the Hinata Sou's bridge . . .
Okay Captains . . . just wait five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . zero the virus should have started now.
On the Excalibur's bridge
Okay crew fire on the Hinata Sou now.
Sir, it says access denied
So try it again, fire away.
It says access denied again sir
fire now damn it . . .
At that moment a message flashed cross the screen.
Ah ah ah you didn't say the magic word.
A picture of Captain Keitaro Urashima wagging his finger accompanied the message and the message repeated itself as the image smirked at him.
Damn that cheating son of a bitch he must have planted a computer virus.
Captain all systems are shutting down engines, weapons, and shields we are losing power . . .
Back on the Hinata Sou bridge . . .
Sir the Excalibur's weapons, shields and engines are failing . . .
Great Seta. Ok Motoko aim at all critical systems and fire everything we got.
Firing phasers and photon torpedoes, sir.
Everything hit the ship and without engines or shields the ship was quickly crippled.
Sir computers are reporting that the ship would have been crippled if this was real combat. We won.
Meanwhile on the bridge of the Excalibur . . .
They watched helplessly as the phasers and photon torpedoes struck their ship. When the computer informed them of the "crippling damage." a message then appeared on the screen.
You've just been pwned, bitch
back on the Hinata Sou
Suddenly Tama flew to the captain and he was holding something.
What is that Tama?
He picked up what tama was carrying and took a look.
A mile wide smile formed on his face.
It seems that Tama snuck aboard the ship and did some "shopping" of her own.
What is that you have there, captain? Su spoke to the captain.
Yeah I want to know too. Naru spoke as she was also interested in what was making him so happy.
Oh this. This is Kentaro's wallet complete with cash and credit cards. It looks like we are going shopping tonight.
You can't use other people's credit cards in a store. You will get arrested for that.
Who said anything about going to a store when you can go online.
Hey Su, you can have this as a memento of our victory.
Keitaro handed the wallet to Su. She started to look inside and found something peculiar inside.
Captain what is this? She showed him a picture of some people.
Hey this is a picture of Captain Sakata having sex with Admiral Samson's daughter. Boy a lot of people were speculating he was doing her but no one had any proof.
What is so special about that?
Well Admiral Samson is extremely overprotective with his daughter. The last fool to get involved with her got fired for it.
He isn't that a little extreme you know losing your job over it.
I didn't mean like getting fired as losing your job. No, I meant getting fired out of the torpedo bay.
That's one sick son of a bitch.
You can say that again. I wonder what this picture will fetch for on Ebay.
meanwhile on the Excalibur . . .
I can't believe it. I lost the battle with that idiot Keitaro and my respect of my crew. Damn it.
The Commander came into his room to talk with him.
Do you have the money for the shipment of supplies, right?
Yeah it is here in my wallet. He feels for his wallet but can't find it.
Oh no! I left my credit cards and money in that?
Don't worry! I have the Capital one Platinum no hassle card so I don't have to worry about theft and I don't have to pay a thing for any fraudulent charges. What is in your wallet?
Uh . . . something else.
YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!
She beats the shit out of him for it. Now we are completely screwed. Do you even know where it is?
I have the feeling that bastard Urashima stole it. Knowing him he is going to max it out and spend everything before I can even report it.
No, I didn't did I.. I left that picture in there. NO!
Mark my words Urashima. I will HAVE MY REVENGE!
Later on the Hinata Sou
Naru had been waiting for quite some time but it seems that Elmer Fudd has caught that thieving rabbit and was going to finish the mission by giving it to Naru.
I see that you have finished your mission mister uh
Elmer Fudd.
Yeah right. You can go now. Well little rabbit, I am going to teach you something about stealing my stuff.
Now where did I put my torture kit?
Ah here it is! Now for the fun . . .
At that very moment, Motoko walked into her room and didn't like what she was seeing.
HOW DARE YOU! Hurting that poor innocent rabbit. You sick perverted monster. I guess my methods aren't painful enough for you. Don't worry for I have many lessons left to teach you.
She attacked her with a ki attack and then let the bunny go and it went into Motoko's arms.
When Motoko wasn't looking, it gave Naru the finger and laughed as Motoko walked out of the room.
I don't believe it. It happened again. How can that girl be so blind? What is she stupid or something? She can't see how much of a lowlife these people are? I am getting sick of these morons and their stupidity and acts of perversion? Especially that stuck up bitch of a woman . . .
Of course at that moment Haruka was passing by and thought that she was referring to her. She barges into the room with the look of evil.
How dare you think those kind of thoughts. Naru got a beating that she will probably never forget.
The end of Chapter four
Author Notes: well I like to see some reviews and if you have any suggestions on what should happen next or anything that you feel can be made fun of or used in a gag like the Trix rabbit and capital one no hassle card and having Elmer Fudd pop up for a cameo was some of my ideas for humor. In your review please say that you like or not while giving me suggestions okay. Any idea that you think up and I use will be given credit for it. So click that go button and review.