Disclaimer: For the 18th time, we don't own it. Come on now, let's all get on the same page. (Unlike Sirius, who will get on the same Paige… sorry, bad joke)

Warnings: Mild violence, sexual language, Remus angst, Jack is still being Gerry, and yet more compelling mysteries.

Sponsors: This chapter was brought quickly by our reviewers, who gave us some really juicy reviews that made us so happy we pushed to get this little chapter out in less than 24 hours.

Chapter 18: What is Jack Eating?

Remus was not in a chipper mood when he woke up the next morning. In fact, most would describe his mood as dark, if not full out brooding. Kate had changed into nightgown and had fallen asleep by the time he returned to the room the night before, a fact that both relieved and frustrated him. He awoke to find her missing and her side of the bed neatly made.

He groggily climbed out of bed and noticed several things out of place. Kate's closet was considerably less full and her jewelry box was no longer on the dresser. Also the large traveling trunk that Kate used as a makeshift side table was missing. Remus threw open the door and stormed out into the hall, stumbling over the missing steamer trunk.

Kate, who was exiting the bathroom, helped him up. "Are you alright?", she asked concern flooding her voice.

Remus nodded. "I'm fine, I just…", he started before remembering the state of the bedroom. "Why weren't you there when I woke up this morning? Why did you get dressed last night? Why did you make your side of the bed? Why is the trunk out in the hallway?", he rapidly fired his questions at her never really giving her a chance to answer.

Kate finally raised her hand and quieted the agitated werewolf. "Beloved, calm down." The term of endearment seemed to settle him a bit. "I wasn't in bed this morning because I have an early appointment and I thought you had wanted to sleep. I put on a nightgown last night because I was cold. I made my side of the bed because I felt like it. And the trunk is in the hallway because there isn't enough room for it in the living room right now.", she answered all his questions soothingly and ended by kissing his cheek. "Now if you will please excuse me, I would like to wear more than my robe today." She then stepped over the trunk and retreated into her room. He stared blankly at the door for a moment before going into the guest bedroom to search for clothes.

As Remus was buttoning his trousers, doubt started to flood his mind. Why does she need a trunk anyway? It's not like she's going anywhere. Remus's thoughts stilled as he came to the conclusion that she was going somewhere and that somewhere was probably far away from him. I mean, why would she stay? It's not like we've had sex, it's not like we are bound or anything. And why would she want to be bound to me? For heaven's sake, I was ready to…He snorted in self-disgust as he remembered just what he was willing to do to Kate last night. He let out a defeated sigh and laid down on his guest bed, thinking for the first time in years that maybe it would have been better if the wolf had simply killed him.

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Kate walked into Paige's room and locked the door behind her.

Paige was brushing out her hair. "Hey, Kate. Could you do my hair for me?"

"Sure.", Kate replied and pulled out her wand. She then proceeded to spell Paige's hair to cascade down her back in waves. "There, that should last five hours or so.", she said putting her wand away.

Paige looked in the mirror and grinned. "Thank you. Want me to do yours?"

Kate smiled and twirled one of her locks around her finger. "Sure, though I don't know if there is much you can do with it."

Paige humphed. "Shows how little faith you have in me." A moment later, Kate's hair was skimming her waist. "That's a good look for you, Luna. You should keep it."

"Thank you", she said blushing.

Paige began applying her make-up and got down to business. "So, Sirius told me Remus wasn't very experienced..."

Kate turned to face Paige, after hiding her longer hair in a snood. "Of course, he isn't.", she said with a chuckle.

"So he hasn't had any other mates? That's good, no heavy emotional baggage.", Paige responded thoughtfully.

Kate blushed. "I suppose."

"So how have things been going between you two? Judging by last night, I'd say rather well.", she said while curling her eyelashes.

"Alright, I guess. How are things with Sirius?", Kate asked trying to get Paige to change the subject.

"Surprisingly well, all things considered.", Paige said with a cocky smile.

Kate chuckled. "Sounds interesting."

"I'm a cat, cats are supposed to be graceful and posed. I wasn't either one last night.", she quipped, frustration coloring her voice.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad.", Kate reassured her.

"Oh yes, it was. I headbutted him in the crotch and sneezed on his neck.", Paige growled.

Kate tried to hide her smile. "Hey, at least the paramedics weren't called out this time."

"Shut up.", Paige ordered and smacked the werewolf's arm.

Kate shrugged and began folding Paige's items for the trunk.

The door handle jiggled and Sirius called out. "Let me in, luv. I'm in my all together."

Paige opened the door and pouted. "Liar, you're wearing a towel." Sirius came into the room and noticed Kate covering her eyes.

"Well luv, everything considered I'm glad I'm wearing a towel." Sirius stated as he glanced at Kate.

Paige giggled. "Terrycloth turns you on?"

Sirius grinned. "Maybe, but at the moment I'd rather not flash Kate."

Kate blushed. "Thanks for the courtesy."

Sirius smirked at the werewolf. "So I take it Remus caught you up on some English phrases?" Kate blushed a deeper shade of red and nodded, causing Sirius to laugh. "I could flash you, if you'd like."

"Oh no, I'm fine really. I wouldn't want to disparage your virtue." Kate said with a small grin, her eyes still firmly shut.

Sirius pulled on a pair of trousers forgoing his underwear. "Come now, Katie. You know you peeked."

"I'm only interested in the virility of one male in this apartment, thank you.", she said calmly.

Paige smirked. "So Kate, just how big is Remus's virility?"

Kate quirked a smile. "Sirius, are you covered?"

"If I wasn't and told you I was, would you still look?", Sirius asked.

Kate gave a dramatic sigh. "Yes, but every time I'd see you afterwards I would point and laugh."

Paige burst into the conversation. "Yeah, at me."

"Why would I laugh at you? Grown something I should I know about?", she teased.

"No, but if his grows any more he could take over a small village.", Paige retorted.

Sirius shook his head at the girls' banter. "You can open your eyes, Kate."

Kate opened her eyes and Sirius struck a dashing pose. "Yes, I am the master of all hugeness."

Paige started to laugh uncontrollably.

Kate simply rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder. "Of course, you are dear."

Sirius puffed his chest out. "Really, I am. Women have swooned, men have cowered, and children have fainted. This one time, in seventh year…"

Kate quickly raised her hand to interrupt the animagus. "I believe you, really. I'm sure your hugeness is legendary."

"Please stop now, Sirius. I will fill her in on the all the little…I mean big details later on.", Paige gasped out.

"I'm sure it's bigger now that it's swollen. Of course, you do that to me sometimes.", he said looking at Paige.

"Alrighty then, I think I have enough information on this subject.", Kate firmly stated as she gathered the necessary items from Paige's room and headed into the hall.

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Remus glanced up as Kate entered the guestroom and closed the door behind her. She was wearing a pair of soft cotton slacks and a t-shirt with her hair in a bundle at the back of her neck.

She walked over to the bed and sat next to him. "Are you alright?", she quietly asked, brushing her fingers over his arm.

"I'm fine.", he stated curtly, drawing his arm away. "Why aren't you wearing more clothing?"

Kate looked down at her outfit. "What?"

"You heard me, why aren't you wearing more clothes? You look like you are wearing pajamas.", he continued.

"Actually, it's my yoga outfit. I wear it for yoga and dance classes, we are going down to the park today.", she said patiently.

"You are going to be seen in public in that?", he asked incredulously.

"Yes, I'm perfectly covered and I will be back soon. Now, are you going to tell me what is bothering you?", she asked, desperately trying to keep her temper in check.

"Nothing is bothering me, with the possible exception that you are going out half-dressed to Gods know where.", he growled.

Kate leapt from the bed. "What in the name of Shiva has gotten into you? Did you wake up on the war path this morning or did I actually do something wrong?"

"Don't you dare push this off on me, I am just concerned that you find it necessary to go gallivanting about in parks, half-dressed in broad daylight.", he growled standing up.

"I hate to break this to you, Professor Lupin, but you don't own me. I'm not some lapdog that you can just dress up and order about. If you want to have a relationship with me, I would hope that you would trust me a little.", Kate countered.

"Kate, dearest…Oh love, I do trust you.", he acquiesced and ran his fingers down her cheek. "You just need to be here with me and not flaunting yourself for the world that's all.", he purred and moved to embrace her.

Kate stepped back and glared at him. "I am going to the park and I am wearing this. And I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's comfortable and lets me move how I need to move."

"How do you need to move? Your other clothes let you move, why do you need clothes for other movements? What sort of movements do you plan on doing that you need special clothes for them?", Remus demanded.

"It's just going to the park, Remus. That's all, why are you doing this?", she pleaded.

"No, Kate. I think the question is why are you doing this? Do you want to find someone else? Do you want men ogling you?", he bellowed.

"They're yoga clothes, baggy yoga clothes at that. Men don't ogle me even in normal clothes, they aren't going to make a run at me in my workout togs.", she declared.

"Ha!", he shouted. "They don't ogle you. What do you call Lockhart then?"

"An idiot.", Kate snapped.

"Alright, he's a horrid example. But I've seen the way other men look at you. They look at you like you are some kind of treat and I will not allow you to be displayed in such an unseemly fashion.", Remus protested.

"I have to leave now. I will talk to you later, Remus.", she said before closing the door and heading outside with her trunk.

Moony smacked himself in the head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why don't you just try chaining her to the bed, old boy?", he chastised himself before flopping back down on the bed.

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Kate was already waiting outside the apartment when Paige finally cornered Jack.

"Now, you'll keep Sirius and Remus with you at all times today. Don't let them out of your sight. And absolutely under no circumstances hurt or provoke them. Have a good day and we'll see you when we get back.", she said and Jack nodded sedately. He watched her walk out the door and smiled evilly.

Jack headed towards the kitchen, where Remus and Sirius were eating breakfast. "Hey mates, how goes it?", he asked cheerfully. Sirius glared at Jack.

Remus thoughtfully chewed his toast. "Why did Kate take a trunk out with her this morning?"

Jack crossed the kitchen and pulled the bowl of grilled meat out of the refrigerator. "She's leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when she'll be back again." He took a big bite of meat and continued with his mouthful. "Yep, she's leaving, and going far, far away. She might not ever return.", he said smiling at the werewolf.

Sirius shot Jack a death glare. "Quiet, you worthless excuse for a friend."

Jack sobered. "I was just playing with him. She went out to the park with Paige. Happy now, she's not leaving you.", he said before taking another bite of meat.

Remus put his toast down and stood up. "Why does she need a suitcase at the park?"

"Taking her clothes out for a walk, I guess." Jack said. Remus rounded on Jack, and pinned his arms behind him.

"Those were Paige's things, Kate just let her borrow her trunk.", Sirius lied.

"Why would Paige need a suitcase?", Remus asked as he released Jack.

"Because we had a fight and she was going to stay at her parents.", Sirius said thinking quick on his feet.

Remus stalked out of the room. He re-entered the kitchen a few moments later. "Sirius, why would Paige need Kate's clothes, if she was going to her parents?"

"Because their washing machine is better.", Sirius said as he fumbled for a reason.

"Padfoot.", Remus admonished.

"No really, I broke it last night when I washed some dishes.", he said trying to convince his friend. "Who knew that it was only for clothes?"

"Padfoot. I won't get angry with you friend. I know the washing machine is fine. Just tell me what's going on.", he said kindly.

Jack laughed darkly. "If you come with me, mate, I'll do you one better. I will show you what you're little Katie is doing.", he announced as he left the kitchen. The pirate smiled to himself. Paige, never said anything about Kate provoking him, he thought smugly.

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After the nightmare of parking and getting tickets, the unlikely trio entered the Las Vegas Age of Chivalry Renaissance Festival. Jack led the way to a small festival stage that was surrounded by bales of hay. Jack motioned for Sirius and Remus to sit, joining them after speaking briefly with another man dressed as a pirate.

After a few minutes, the bales of hay began to fill with people. When every seat in the house had been taken and a line of people stood at the edges of clearing, Kate appeared onstage and was greeted with a warm round of applause.

A/N: Hahaha…evil cliff hanger. What is going on, you ask? Will Remus go mental? What are Kate and Paige doing? What kind of meat is Jack eating? The answer to some of these and other strange questions will be found in the next installment of Las Vegas is a Scary Place.

As always thank you for reading our little story, we appreciate that you take time out of your lives to do so. And a very special thank you to our most lovely reviewers.

Jen: Thank you for the review and thank you for catching our mistake. Peter is hiding out in Japina …I mean Chipan. No actually Peter is hiding out in Japan, posing as a photographer, which was amusing to us because Timothy Spall played Peter in the PoA movie and a photographer in Last Samurai. Unfortunately, we seemed to have lost the joke in the transposition.

MissMoony16: Well, thank for the support on my choice of major. I am a big sociology geek, as reinforced by being enrolled in a Sociology M.A. program. But do your Spanish it will come in handy in the future. As far as Harry goes, Dumbledore in his infinite control freak Gryffindor with a Slytherin rising ways has yet to inform Harry that Sirius isn't really dead. Harry is back in school and the current date for our story is October 27, 1996. Our heroes have only been in Vegas for 6 days or 18 chapters and just to make things interesting full moon hits on October 28th.

Katarina McGonagall: Thank for your lovely review as always. We aren't going to come out and say what Jack is eating, however, we have dropped a few hints and we will drop a few more before the truth is revealed fully; feel free to make guesses. As far as abbreviated knickers go, I found the term in a story a few months back and fell in love with it. I've seen it used in a few stories since then but I will try to find the original source, I really wish it was me because it is a great line. As far as Montgomery Manor goes, I have no idea what lies in store for that plot point because that is Hornhead's creation.

And that's all we wrote for today anyway. Thank you.

FYI: We have the next chapter already written, but we are feeling very lazy at the moment so reviews might persuade us to do the ever so hard job of pushing the upload document button. –Prof. Pendragon