TITLE: "Crossroads"
AUTHOR: Emmyjean (emmyjeanb@yahoo.com)
CLASSIFICATION: J/L
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: In her seventh and final year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans finds herself facing a tragedy that leaves her life in pieces. In her struggle to find her way in a suddenly unfamiliar world, she finds strength she never knew existed – both within herself and in a boy she'd always thought she'd known.
DISCLAIMER: Without JK Rowling, none of this would exist. Thanks to her for letting me play with her creation.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This fic has been REVISED AS OF JULY, 2003 to fit with Order of the Phoenix canon. Please read details from author HERE. By the way…yes, I KNOW I left the character of Arabella Figg as she was in the first version! Trust me, I wouldn't overlook such a thing. All shall be explained later. ;)
CHAPTER ONE: Irreconcilable Differences
Mid-October, Seventh Year
Lily Evans walked into Professor McGonagall's office and greeted her, taking her usual chair in front of the desk. Glancing at the other empty chair beside her, she rolled her eyes...Potter was late again. It was unbelievable, the irony of it all...how does someone who misbehaves as much as he and his friends do every day become Head Boy?
"Miss Evans, did you happen to see Mr. Potter on your way up?" McGonagall asked crisply. Lily shook her head in the negative, but didn't say anything. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would launch into a tirade about all the things that were wrong with James Potter - and she knew very well that McGonagall had a soft spot for him. Probably just because he's the best chaser on the house Quidditch team. Personally, Lily thought the school placed far too much emphasis on that game. Just as McGonagall glanced irritatedly at the clock, the door opened and the Head Boy in question walked in as if he had all the time in the world. McGonagall pursed her lips at him, but before she could say anything, he flashed her a smile and said simply,
"Sorry, professor...got held up at practice."
McGonagall softened, just as she always did, and Lily thought she might be sick. How was it that everyone could like this boy when he was so obviously full of himself? Lily wished for the millionth time that they were reporting directly to the Headmaster every week instead of McGonagall...perhaps then Potter wouldn't be so smug about his disregard for the precious time other people spent waiting for him all the time.
"Well then, Potter...I expect to see results in next week's game. Sit."
He took his place next to Lily, and neither of them spared the other a glance. It was common knowledge that they didn't get along very well, and so there was no use in keeping up pretenses. McGonagall shuffled her papers and then looked at them expectantly. "Well? Any problems this week?"
Lily and James both shook their heads, and James spoke first. "Not too many points taken this week, Professor...but the students of Gryffindor have been inquiring about permission to have a party in the Common Room at the end of the term."
Lily rolled her eyes...again with this party! The end of the term wasn't for two months, and already people were going to be shirking their duties in anticipation of it without adding a party to the mix.
"Professor," she broke in, "I must add that I don't think this is such a good idea."
McGonagall looked at her expectantly as James sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. Without looking at him, Lily continued stoically,
"In light of what happened at the last end-of-term party Gryffidor was allowed..."
"An incident which was completely beyond anyone's control," James interrupted infuriatingly.
"...I don't think we should be sending the message that such behavior is acceptable by allowing another party to take place."
McGonagall nodded sagely, her eyes narrowed in thought, and replied, "Yes, I see your point Miss Evans. The incident with the curtains catching fire is fresh in my mind as well, I assure you."
"A fact which Miss Evans is quite aware of but has apparently forgotten to point out," James continued in a highly condascending tone, "is that the students of Gryffindor have been on excellent behavior all term, and they should be rewarded somehow. You said it yourself, Professor. And anyway, all this happened nearly two years ago!"
Lily stiffened at his tone and countered, "This may be...however, I believe the incident with the fire nevertheless demonstrates the kind of loss of control that can happen at these parties..."
"Oh, why do you have to act this way about everything?" James spat at her suddenly.
"Act like what, a Head Girl?" Lily defended herself vehemently, "At least I take my responsibilities seriously..."
"And I don't, is that what you're implying?"
"No one is implying anything," she replied.
He narrowed his eyes dangerously and was about to retort, but McGonagall suddenly stood up and held out a hand, silencing them both.
"Honestly, I don't know what to do with you two. Never in the history of Hogwarts has there been a Head Boy and Girl who clashed so appalingly and so often as you do. How is anything ever going to get done if you can't agree on anything?"
They didn't reply, but they didn't apologize, either. James crossed his arms and took up a rather defiant pose...how typical of him, Lily thought angrily.
McGonagall eyed them for a moment more, and then sighed.
"Well, I don't suppose there's anything anyone can do about it...but I would ask that from now on, when you come to my office for the Friday report, you keep a civil tone. That goes for BOTH of you...understand?"
They nodded, and she then dismissed them both, promising to think about granting permission for the party...a decision which didn't please either one of them. Once outside, Lily felt her insides twist as she saw that James' friends were waiting for him in the hall. She hated them as much as she hated him - they were all insufferable jerks. She started walking swiftly back to the common room, wishing that her own friends had come to meet her. Now she had to put up with the four of them walking behind her the entire way.
"Well?" Sirius Black asked as he stepped forward, his black eyes glittering in the torchlight, "What did she say?"
"She didn't say anything," James snapped back.
"Didn't you ask her?" whined Peter Pettigrew. Lily didn't know why, but the sound of his voice gave her the creeps.
James gave a bitter huff of laughter, and Lily held her breath...she knew what was coming.
"Yeah, I asked her...only I was thwarted by Head Girl extraordinaire, here."
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, his voice now annoyed. Lily began to walk faster, but didn't want it to seem she was running away from them - although she couldn't think of anything she would like to do more right now.
"Oh, you know, the usual," James continued in a mocking tone, "Miss Evans expressed her extreme disapproval of any sort of fun, and promptly made the entire thing much harder than it needed to be."
Lily cringed slightly as she heard a chorus of frustrated male sighs, and then cursed herself for doing it. Why did she even care what they thought of her?
"Great," Sirius muttered, and she had a feeling he would have said more had they not arrived at the portrait hole. Lily looked up at the Fat Lady and gave her the password, and she obligingly swung open.
"What's the matter, Evans?" she heard James say from behind her, "Aren't you going to give her a detention for opening too slowly?"
She heard the others laugh, and she stepped through the opening with her cheeks burning, not giving him the satisfaction of looking around to face him. She went straight over to her friends, Helen Knowles and Arabella Figg, who could tell immediately by the look on her face that the meeting had not gone well.
"What happened, Lily?" Helen asked, her doe-like brown eyes glancing shyly at the group of boys who had followed her friend in. They were now sitting in a corner, talking and laughing loudly with a few other students.
Lily smiled lightly and muttered, "Oh, just a little bout of Head Girl Syndrome."
Arabella sighed heavily and glared over at where James and his friends were sitting. Lily mimicked Arabella's sigh dramatically, causing Helen to laugh and Arabella to direct her attention back to them. She smiled half-heartedly and said,
"Well, excuse me if I'm actually bothered by the way those fools treat you."
Lily shook her head and replied, "Why do you let it bother you so much? I don't let it bother me...well, for the most part."
"I don't understand that!" Bella exclaimed, and then added more quietly, "I mean, you have to deal with him every day."
She said "him" as though she were talking about the most revolting creature to ever live, and Lily smiled slightly at this even as she gave Bella a reproachful look and corrected,
"Not every day...he doesn't show up to most of the meetings, if you'll recall."
Arabella sighed again and replied testily, "Well, fine then...if you're willing to treat it as anything other than a complete lack of respect..."
"I don't," Lily insisted firmly, the determined set of her jaw matching that of her friend's, "I just hate talking about it over and over, that's all. Why can't we just leave it? If I have to deal with Potter in my duties as Head Girl, then I'd rather not bring him into my spare time."
Arabella nodded and held up her hands as if in surrender, "Alright...you've made your point."
Lily sat back in her chair, thankful that the subject was closed. She thought briefly about what Arabella had said...the truth was, James Potter's blatant disrespect for her bothered her very much. She would never let on to anyone else, but her insecurity in her position had always been that she was Muggle-born, and some students had certain "misgivings" about this. Potter should have been her backup, as he was from one of the most prestigious full-blooded wizarding families in England, but instead he thwarted her authority every chance he got. Still, there was no use complaining about it...it was how it was, and there wasn't anything she could do to change the situation. They simply didn't like each other, and that was that.
Still, she couldn't stand the fact that James Potter was technically at an equal level with her, and yet she did ten times the work he did. How did he manage to get perfect scores when he seemingly didn't work even two hours a week on assignments? Lily grudgingly resigned herself to the answer. It was the same answer she came up with every time she asked this particular question. It was because he was smart - very smart. Maybe even brilliant. Everything came easily to him...high exam scores, friends, sporting ability. It wasn't that she was jealous of James Potter...not at all. She simply resented the fact that he was given half of the credit when she was the one who did all the work, and there was no way she could make anybody else understand that. After all, who would believe her?
In any case, she didn't technically mind having to do all the work herself. She would have liked someone to help her occasionally, but only if it was someone she felt she could trust and who she didn't mind being with on a daily basis. James Potter was not someone could count on...even if everyone else in the world felt they could. As it was, she almost preferred the arrangement they had...she did the work for both of them, and they were spared time they would have been forced to spend together. It was a fair trade, Lily thought.
She decided abruptly that she didn't want to think about it anymore, and forcibly pushed it from her mind. No matter how she tried, though, she couldn't block their laughter coming from the other side of the room...or the horrible paranoia that they were always laughing at her.
~~
That Wednesday, Lily pushed her way through the doors of the library with some difficulty...her arms were laden with books and papers. Impatiently blowing her hair out of her face, she shuffled quickly over to the librarian's desk and set the pile down.
"Hello, Mrs. Hoodwinkle," she smiled at the elderly lady as she began to separate the books she was returning from the ones she needed to keep.
"Good evening, Lily. How has your week been?"
Lily answered politely that her week had been fine, even though it had been absolutely horrid. She had been after the prefects to hand in their suggestion forms all month, as she was supposed to put them all together and hand them in to the headmaster on Monday...and of course, they had all bombarded her with them at the last minute. Now, she was going to have to do that in addition to the weekly points tally - something she did every Wednesday as part of her duties as Head Girl. This was what she reported to Professor McGonagall each Friday. She was supposed to be aided in this duty by Head Boy, but she always ended up doing it alone. It had come to be an unspoken agreement between them that this was how things were done. Shuffling her papers, she stuck them a bit haphazardly into a book and turned to walk to her usual table.
"Oh, Lily?"
She whirled to face the librarian, her eyebrows raised in question. To her dismay, the woman held out yet another stack of papers.
"You'll want Mr. Potter's things as well, won't you?"
Lily seethed inwardly as she resolutely stuck her quill in her mouth and reached out with her free hand to grab the sheets Mrs. Hoodwinkle was holding out. As much as she had come to accept the way things were done, she could never quite squelch the first stab of anger every week when she was handed Potter's disorganized, haphazard pile of notes. The woman smiled, her cheeks rosy as she commented,
"Really, dear...it's very nice of you to do all this for Mr. Potter every week. He seems like such a nice boy, too."
Lily smiled stiffly around the quill clamped in her mouth and nodded, thinking that the woman needed better eyeglasses. Walking to her table, however, she thought that it wasn't entirely poor Mrs. Hoodwinkle's fault. Setting her things down, she sighed as she wondered yet again why she couldn't simply be like everyone else for a change. Then, at the very least, she would have less to worry about.
Truthfully, though, she almost liked the time alone. Often she would sit and stare pensively out the window after she was finished with her work, thinking about random, silly things. There was precious little time she could spend on that these days, and she took advantage of the opportunity when it became available. Sighing again and pushing her hair behind her ears, she turned to face the pile of work she needed to finish before she could indulge in any sort of relaxing. All in all, it was just a normal Wednesday evening.
At the end of the week, Lily arrived considerably early for the meeting in McGonagall's office, and the professor wasn't there yet when she arrived. Clutching her heavy pile of papers and books from her last class, she sat on the floor, took out a quill, and began making some last minute notations on the report she was to turn in today. After a few moments, she heard footsteps coming down the corridor. She started to collect her things, thinking it was McGonagall, but she rolled her eyes slightly as she realized the footsteps were too heavy to belong to the professor.
She looked up just as Potter came around the corner. He almost tripped over her, not having seen her sitting there, and gave her an exasperated look as she stood up. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he asked curtly,
"Where is she?"
"Professor McGonagall?" she asked, knowing perfectly well who he meant but feeling some kind of odd resentment on the professor's behalf at his having addressed her merely as "she". He gave her a look that told her clearly what he thought of this, and she added, "I don't know...she should be here any minute."
He turned away with a sigh and slumped against the wall directly across from her, his gaze directed down the corridor. She wished he hadn't gotten there so early, because now she had to stand...she didn't know why, but she felt somehow awkward sitting on the floor while he stood. They didn't make small talk – there was no point, as neither one cared enough to ask. After what was thankfully a short time, McGonagall appeared and ushered them into her office. She looked in a hurry tonight, so Lily handed her the report quickly and prayed she would simply let them go. She had some studying to do that night, even though it was Friday.
"Well, I'm not going to keep you two today...I have a meeting with the other House heads, but I have a little matter to briefly discuss."
They both remained standing, and after a moment of shuffling her papers, McGonagall went on,
"I have decided against allowing the Gryffindor party."
Lily didn't know whether she was glad to hear this or not. It was true that she had lobbied against the party in the first place, but she dreaded what would happen once she and Potter got out of this room and away from McGonagall's watchful eye. She glanced briefly at Potter and found him staring at the ceiling, his jaw ticking in anger. There would be hell to pay, that was certain.
"I do not believe," McGonagall continued, "That we need the extra stress of whatever may happen at a gathering like that in addition to the problems we all are already being forced to deal with...both stemming from within the school and from without."
She cast a meaningful glance at the two of them, and then finished, "I don't believe you two are capable of holding it together, in short. Perhaps by the end of the spring term, if I see a change in your ability to work together, we'll discuss this again. Dismissed."
Lily turned and walked out the door, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end at the knowledge that James was right behind her. She supposed it was some long forgotten defense mechanism. Still...she wasn't afraid of him in the least. As predicted, the minute the door had clicked shut behind them, James started in on her.
"Great, Evans...just lovely. I hope you're bloody happy!"
She rounded on him, almost relishing the fight that was about to begin. She could handle him alone...it was just when he had his entourage with him that she got frustrated.
"Don't try to pin this on me, Potter. Everything that's preventing that party is YOUR fault."
His eyebrows shot up and he retorted, "My fault? You're the one who had to open your mouth and make an issue out of nothing. Just as always...you're really very predictable."
She laughed a mirthless laugh, and his eyes darkened in anger. Apparently, he didn't like being laughed at either.
"Potter, you're daft. YOU caused the fire at the last party we had, YOU are the reason we've gotten a bad reputation with McGonagall this year. You can't take your duties seriously enough to even show up in the library ONCE a week!"
"Is that right?" he spat, his voice low and dangerous.
"Yes!" she practically yelled, "It's the truth."
"Why would I, or anyone else," he ground out, "want to spend hours sitting with some bluenosed, stuck-up prude in the bloody library? I'm surprised you have any friends at all, you..."
Before he could finish the insult, she cut in, "Don't you dare go anywhere beyond that. I don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth for the next MONTH."
He sneered at her and replied, "Well, that's too bad, because we have that prefect meeting next week."
She feigned surprise and said, "Oh, are you actually going to grace us with your presence?"
"I've never missed one," he replied smugly.
"Well," she said, turning to go, "It's only a matter of time now, isn't it?"
She walked away, trying to think of the worst possible scenario for the meeting next week so that she could prepare herself. She supposed it would be okay...at least she got the last word back there. Anyway, at least forty percent of the prefects were always on her side when they got into fights at these meetings. Luckily, she didn't have to suffer an encounter with him until the following week at the meeting, besides some little incidents here and there stemming from his resentment of the party issue. As usual, she got there early, and he was the last to arrive.
"Quiet, please! Quiet!" Lily called over the din of the crowd seated at a now-empty table in the Great Hall. She glanced irritably at James, who was lounging a few paces away from her and not bothering to help.
"Alright," she began when everyone was settled down, "Let's get through everything fast. The more time we waste, the longer we have to be here, and I'm sure no one wants that."
"I wouldn't bet on it," James muttered, sending a chorus of hushed laughter and not-so-hushed tutting through the room. Lily glared at him and said,
"Well, maybe you'd like to preside, then?"
He barely glanced up as he commented insolently, "Naw, Evans...I wouldn't want to take away your only joy in life."
She felt her insides coil in hatred for every black hair on his smug head, and went on before she could say anything else to provoke a full-out fight.
"Now, the first order of business...did someone from the Ravenclaws have something to say?"
A sixth-year Ravenclaw prefect stood up and scanned the room, his eyes narrowing as he began, "This isn't something I was hoping I'd have to bring up here, but the situation has gotten way out of hand. We've had too many reports coming in this week of various members of the Slytherin house seeking out Muggle-borns for harrassment."
Lily frowned, the accusation hitting her hard.
"What sort of harrassment, Tom?" she asked, concerned.
He turned to her, knowing she would be sympathetic, and replied, "Various things...mostly little, but who knows where it could lead if it isn't stopped now."
"Have the perpitrators admitted that they were driven by discrimination against Muggle-borns?" James broke in, standing now and looking serious.
Tom, the Ravenclaw prefect, shifted his weight from one side to the other.
"Well, no...but..."
"It's obvious!" another prefect, this one a Hufflepuff fifth-year named Ursula, interrupted, "The students who are members of full-blooded families are always left alone."
James nodded reasonably and replied, "I imagine it is obvious, but unless we have proof, we can't do much about it."
A Slytherin seventh-year drawled, "Such a shame, too," causing the other Slytherin prefects to snicker and James to shoot them a look. Lily, however, was still smarting at the implication of bigotry, and had her gaze locked on James.
"I think there should be something we can do about it," she contradicted adamantly. He turned to her, looking slightly annoyed, and replied,
"Evans, don't let personal feelings get in the way of your job. You know we can't..."
"It's our job to make sure the students of this school are safe!" she interrupted, "I don't understand why you assume this can't be dealt with in a manner which..."
"Look," he broke in, his apparent frustration mounting, "We'll keep taking points like we always do, but until someone says something that can be clearly construed as a bigoted remark, there's nothing possible beyond that to be done."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing deep-down that he was right but thinking she'd rather eat her foot than admit this in front of the Slytherins.
"Alright, fine...but let it be understood," she moved on, narrowing her eyes at the smug Slytherins, "that the situation is being monitored."
The two other prefects reclaimed their seats, pacified for the moment, and James also sat back down. Lily remained standing and moved the meeting along. They discussed various insignificant things, from a broken common room window in the Hufflepuff dorm to an issue of exemption for the no-magic-in-the-corridors rule. Just as she thought they had gotten through everything, a Hufflepuff sixth-year named Sheila Higgins spoke up.
"I have one more thing to address, if you don't mind, Lily," she asked, and Lily nodded at her to go ahead. She turned to face the room and said,
"I know this is going to sound a bit...odd, but I think we should have time slots organized for use of the prefect's bathroom. I've heard a lot of the...er, the female prefects complain about lack of privacy, and a few have even been walked in on."
A Slytherin called Edmund broke in, "I personally don't think that's possible. We can't arrange time slots for every single individual prefect!"
"That's not what I meant," Sheila retorted impatiently, "I just think the time should be divided between boys and girls, so there's no danger of..."
"Can I strongly veto this idea in the interest of...well, interest?" a Ravenclaw named Will Church piped up jokingly. The other males in the room laughed good-naturedly – including Head Boy – as Sheila Higgins' face went bright red and she cast her eyes to the floor. Lily suddenly became quite angry at the reception this girl's suggestion was receiving.
"I for one," Lily put in, "think it's a perfectly sound idea, and I can't believe it's never come up before."
Will Church groaned and eyed Lily in what she knew was an innocent, playful manner as he responded, "Aw, come on...let's not ruin all our fun!"
The other boys laughed again, and the girls rolled their eyes. James stood up and said, "Will, you have to understand...ruining people's fun is what Miss Evans does best."
For a moment she had thought that he was about to stand up for her, but what had ended up coming out of his mouth was making her see red. She abandoned all hope of keeping her temper under control as she turned to him and bit out,
"Just because you can't bring yourself to actually care about anything doesn't mean you have to humiliate people over it! I think it was a good idea."
James smile disappeared from his face and his eyes clouded with anger...he looked furious, and she knew it was leftover ire from earlier that day. He responded,
"I thought it was a good idea as well, so don't try and make me look like an ass. Miss Higgins knows none of us were being serious."
Sheila Higgins' eyes darted from James to Lily, terrified someone was going to ask her to take a side. Lily didn't even think of this, however, as she went on,
"Well, that didn't stop you from putting her through the ringer, did it? How long were you going to make her stand up there in front of everyone, being made to look silly?"
"No one was making her look silly, Evans!" he practically shouted, pointing a finger at the still-frightened Sheila, "You're just having some kind of problem with it because you have no sense of humor, and everyone knows it."
Lily felt her face burn with unbridled fury, and she took a step closer to Potter as she yelled back, "You wouldn't know, would you? I stand up here and try to keep things going, and all you can do is sit there pretending that you make some kind of difference at these meetings. Why don't you just stay away from the next one...I doubt you'd be missed."
His eyes flared for a moment, and then he turned to the prefects...they were all sitting, silent and wide-eyed, waiting for some direction. James gave it to them.
"You can all go."
They stood up and left so quickly you'd think someone had yelled fire. Then again, that's practically what this was, she thought as James turned back to her.
"You've just made a spectacle of yourself."
"YOU have made a spectacle of the BOTH of us. When are you planning on growing up, Potter?"
He laughed bitterly and replied, "If growing up means I'll have to adopt personality traits that even remotely resemble yours, then I'll NEVER do it."
"Well, then you're right on track," she countered, her cheeks probably glowing pink.
He stepped back and regarded her silently for a moment, then shook his head and said, "You know? I take that back."
She blinked, and before she could say anything he finished, "You don't HAVE a personality."
With that, he turned and stormed out of the room, calling sarcastically over his shoulder as he left, "Maybe that's why it's always such a pleasure being with you, Evans."
Lily watched as he walked out of the Great Hall doors, and to her chagrin she couldn't think of anything to say in retaliation. All she could do was stand there and remind herself over and over again that he was wrong...he didn't know her. She was only doing her duty. She did have a sense of humor...her friends knew that quite well. She couldn't help wondering, however, why his comments still hurt, even if she knew he didn't know what he was talking about.
Deciding that it would be pointless to keep thinking about it, she gathered up her notes and papers and left the Hall, wondering how she was ever going to get through the year.
~~
"Now then...can anyone tell me the incantation for the temporary resizing of objects?"
Lily promptly raised her hand in the air, and Flitwick's eyes lit up as he called on her delightedly, "Yes, Miss Evans?"
"It's grandiosa, or if you're shrinking, minimosa."
"Good! Take five points for Gryffindor, Miss Evans."
The other Gryffindors in her class smiled at her as they always did in Charms...it was her best subject, and she always earned points for the house from Flitwick. If McGonagall had a soft spot for James Potter, then it was Flitwick who kept one for her. She was about to go back to her note-taking when she heard Sirius Black's voice behind her say softly,
"Why is it that some people always seem to have something to prove?"
Lily felt anger bubble up in her chest and she whirled her head around, only to see the Marauders - the stupid nickname the group had earned somehow - sitting behind her. Sirius was gazing at her with contempt, Peter was giggling silently, James was smirking at Sirius...but Remus Lupin was not smiling at all. He stared at Lily for a moment, a look in his eyes she couldn't identify but knew she hadn't expected to see. He turned to Sirius and said in a low voice,
"Stop it. A lot of people have to prove themselves around here, or have you forgotten?"
Black looked over at him in surprise, a flash of guilt crossing his features. The other two stopped smiling and looked suddenly uncomfortable...and suddenly Lily realized she had barely ever heard Remus speak. He was known as the quiet one of the bunch, and for a moment she considered that perhaps he wasn't all that bad - but then she remembered the company he kept, and turned back to her own work.
After class, she summoned her courage and walked up to Sirius Black...she couldn't let this kind of thing go unpunished, especially since she was Head Girl. She needed to assert her authority and show them that she wasn't going to lie back and take their verbal abuse.
"Black?"
He turned and looked at her, scorn written all over his face.
"I'm taking five points from Gryffindor for insubordination."
He looked torn between laughing out loud and strangling her, and the students who were standing nearby stopped and looked on in shock. James, Peter, and Remus turned as well, and were staring at her with mixed expressions.
"What are you trying to..." Black began, but James cut him off.
"She's right, Sirius...and since you took it so well, I'm awarding you with five points."
Lily stared open mouthed at James while he and Sirius looked on in triumph. A few students around them began to giggle, and Lily found it hard to stand up straight suddenly.
"You can't do that," she said furiously to him.
"Oh, I can," he replied, fingering his Head Boy badge, "And I did. Come on, let's go."
He and his friends walked away, all laughing softly...except for Lupin. He caught Lily's gaze before he turned to follow his friends, and she thought she saw a hint of support in them. Something resembling an apology. While she thought it was nice of him, his apologies didn't mean anything.
He hadn't done anything to her.
She walked back to the common room - or at least, that must have been what happened, although for the life of her she couldn't remember getting there. All she knew was that she was now sitting in a chair in front of the huge fireplace, feeling as though she was going to be sick with frustration. It always had to be something...it was really starting to get on her nerves, too. It had been bad enough last year, when they were merely prefects, but this year was fifty times worse. She decided that next time, she wasn't going to let it happen…he would never do that to her in front of people again. Never.
A few days later, Lily was walking swiftly down the Hall between classes. It was lunch time, and she wanted to get down to the Great hall as quickly as possible to finish up some homework she didn't get done the night before for Transfiguration. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a couple of fifth-years using their wands to torment some girls in front of them. It looked like they were doing something to their hair, and even though the girls were laughing, Lily knew what she had to do.
"Hey!" she called, causing the culprits to nearly drop their wands in alarm. The girls scurried away before they got in trouble as well, and Lily didn't care. She wasn't out to get everyone in hot water, just to enforce neccesary rules. "You aren't supposed to be using magic in the corridors, you know."
The boys glanced at each other and nodded, and she said quietly, "Sorry, boys, but I'm gonna have to take ten points for that from Gryffindor."
"Ten points?" said a voice from behind her which, unfortunately, she recognized as James', "Isn't that a little much, Evans?"
She turned to find him standing there with his awful friend Sirius Black, and they were both looking at her as though she was the one who had done something wrong. Her face was growing hot, and she knew soon it would be as red as her hair.
"No, I don't," she replied as calmly as she could...she didn't want a fight right now, she was too busy, "Five points from each is very fair."
Potter cast a look at Black, and then he regarded the two boys knowingly, declaring, "I think five points total is fine. Go on."
"Oh, no you don't!" Lily lost her temper, her knuckles throbbing as she gripped her books hard, "I said five points from each, and that's what will be taken. Understand?"
He narrowed his hazel eyes at her and replied, "I don't think so. It's too much...go throw your weight around somewhere else."
This was it. Lily was about to open her mouth to loudly tell him off, but she was interrupted unexpectedly by a very familiar female voice.
"How DARE you, you insufferable prat!"
Lily spun around and to her horror found Arabella standing behind her, looking about ready to sprout fangs. Her blue eyes were flashing, and her cheeks were bright pink...Lily had to admit, she looked slightly intimidating.
"Bella..." she warned, but James interrupted in an angry, slightly amused tone.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard what I said," she said coldly, and went on, "I would have said more, but there are younger students in this corridor who don't need to LEARN the names I'd call you!"
There was a tittering of laughter, and the amusement vanished from Potter's eyes. He was about to say something, as was Lily, but then a fourth voice broke in.
"What he means is," Sirius Black growled at Arabella, "Why the hell are you getting involved?"
"Why are YOU?" Bella snapped back, her eyes darting to Black's face. It held the darkest expression Lily had ever seen. Suddenly, something inside her gave, and she didn't care what it looked like or who was watching.
"Oh, this is perfect," she railed at James, ignoring the ensuing fight between Arabella and Black, "You must delight in starting bitter arguments. Honestly, what in the world is the matter with you?"
His brows snapped together, and he stepped intimidatingly close to her as he bit back, "Me? I think it's FUNNY that you're asking me that. Absolutely hilarious. You're the one who lives to show off her shiny Head Girl badge...as if it means anything pinned on you. No one even listens to you anymore, given the amount of nagging you do on a daily basis for even the smallest..."
"What!?" she hurled the word at him, not caring to hear the rest of his little speech, "You're the reason for THAT! And at least I stand behind the badge and not on TOP of it!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked cuttingly.
She raised her eyebrows and her voice, trying somewhat unsuccessfully yo be heard over the shouting match going on between Arabella and Sirius Black, "You USE your position to get the things you want, but you don't ever uphold anything it stands for! You accuse ME of being ineffective, but you're so lenient I haven't even had a chance to SEE if your influence stretches anywhere. All I know is that you're completely incompetent."
He laughed angrily and retorted, "Really? Well, let's take a vote, shall we? I'd stake my entire inheritance that I'd win against you in a..."
"A popularity contest?" she cut him off knowingly, "Yes, I'm sure you would...that's the only thing you seem to work tirelessly at, Potter. Making everyone hate ME so that YOU can feel good about yourself."
"How I feel about myself has absolutely nothing to do with YOU, I assure you," he replied smugly.
She gave a little laugh that she didn't feel and replied, "Oh, yes...I forgot. You think very highly of yourself. In fact, I think you are the most egotistical, self-satisfied person I have ever known."
His eyes grew enraged as the words issued from her mouth, although he kept the rest of his face deceivingly neutral, She wondered that she was actually getting to him with what she said, as she never would have expected it, but what he said next made any remorse she might have felt for her vitriolic tirade disappear.
"Evans," he said in a low, silky voice, "Your insults mean nothing to me, as I consider you the most desperate, pathetic little tattle-tale I've ever had the horror of meeting. You don't deserve..."
"ENOUGH!" came a stern bark from further down the hall. James broke off, Lily heaved a breath, and the rest of the students in the corridor were reduced to bone-chilling silence as they looked upon the furious face of Professor McGonagall. She didn't bother to approach them, but her face was so tense it looked about to crack as she snapped,
"You two...in my office. Immediately."
Lily cast James one last look of pure loathing, which he returned whole-heartedly, before turning on her heel and following the professor back to her office. Once inside, she motioned vaguely for them to sit and likewise seated herself behind her desk. Lily had never seen such a look on McGonagall's face, and she was beginning to become very nervous. The professor didn't say anything for a moment, but merely stared back and forth between the two of them. When she finally did speak, although it was in a relatively quiet tone, Lily almost jumped from the tension.
"This is the final...the FINAL straw. The other professors, the students and I have endured all we can from you two and now this ridiculous public animosity between you will come to an END."
She stood, and Lily followed her with her eyes, feeling the beginnings of cold shame weave their way into her stomach. She had known it was ridiculous before, but now it seemed even more so. The professor went on, pacing as she spoke,
"The roles of Head Boy and Girl are not to be taken lightly. You are entrusted with the heavy responsibility of setting an example for the older students and being role models for the younger ones. You are meant to work as a team...as partners. The bond between you is meant to be something that can be RELIED upon, and you are supposed to support each other. If you don't agree on a certain point, you are meant to be able to work it out CIVILLY and in PRIVATE."
She came back around and sat down once again in her chair. After a brief pause, she continued,
"I'm sure it is improbable, if not impossible, that you two will ever hold each other in high personal regard. I believe it is safe to say that the opportunity for that has long passed. However," she glanced back and forth between them, "I'm sure I can say with great confidence that this kind of blatant and unneccesarily LOUD display of your mutual contempt will not occur again in the future. You may not like each other...but you WILL learn to work together. Do you understand?"
Lily nodded, and although she didn't look at Potter she assumed he must be making some kind of affirmative gesture as well. McGonagall stood once again and concluded,
"You can start right now. I want you two to come to some kind of agreement before you leave this office, and in the future you are to begin taking your responsibilities seriously. I mean ALL of them...meetings, reports, everything. I don't want to hear a single complaint for the rest of the year. Is all this quite clear?"
Lily nodded again, supposing she should be thankful that McGonagall didn't relieve both of them of their titles. They would have deserved it in many ways. Without another word, the professor left them alone. After an awkward and highly charged moment, Lily decided she would speak first if only to end the silence.
"She's right, you know."
He didn't reply...merely sighed heavily.
She went on, "We certainly don't have to like each other...but let's just agree not to contradict each other or argue with each other in front of anyone anymore, alright?"
He looked at her grudgingly and replied, "Fine."
She heaved a sigh of her own and stood up to leave. Before she could get out the door, he asked tiredly, "What time are those Wednesday things, anyway? The ones in the library?"
She looked over her shoulder to find him rubbing his eyes wearily under his glasses. She replied, "Seven o'clock."
He nodded slightly, and ran his hands through his messy black hair as he stood. They didn't say anything more to each other for the rest of the day, and Lily considered that although it wasn't the best way to make things happen...at least there was the promise of some kind of change. Whichever way it was presented, things were going to be much easier for her from now on.
She hoped.
To Be Continued in Chapter Two
More Fic by Emmyjean at
The Hidden Tower
www.hiddentower.50megs.com