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More Than Words Can Say

Chapter One

From Mourning to Morning

Dumbledore had told them to go back to Grimmauld Place. He was still numb; the pain had not yet set in. With a crack, Remus Apparated to what had been his best friend's home.

He was the first one to arrive at headquarters. As he collapsed onto the bench at the table, he heard another crack. Dora—no, Tonks—had just Apparated in. She came in the kitchen and sank down next to him, obviously just as numb as he was. Several other cracks sounded as more Order members arrived. They came into the kitchen in varying states of anger, surprise, and sadness. He and Tonks were the only two who were numb like that, putting off the pain until later. Everybody crowded onto the benches, pushing Remus into Do—Tonks. They sat there in silence for almost an hour until Dumbledore arrived.

"Friends, we fought a good fight tonight. Now that Lord Voldemort has revealed himself to the Ministry—namely, to Fudge—we can move more in the open. The minister will aid us in any way he can, which will start with his pledge of Aurors, then progress immediately to his resignation." This last statement was greeted with various murmurs of disbelief. "I…We need to attempt to track him, see where he went tonight. We will discuss this in more detail at a later date. Be here in three days, 7:00 pm.

"Sirius…fought bravely. He kept going and didn't give in. He fought better than some, but not the best. We have learned, through his battle, some more curses the Death Eaters will use against us. We must be ready. Sirius's…sacrifice…was not in vain. We will talk more later. But now, I must return to my office…Harry is waiting for me there." A great sadness, and the weight of a heavy burden, seemed to settle on the elderly headmaster. He disappeared, followed quickly by most of the Order members. Remus and Tonks were the only two left.

"Do—Tonks. You shouldn't Apparate home tonight. I mean, you need to be with people. Stay here, with me." Remus tried to explain his reasons. "I'm just worried. Apparating is hard when you're…sad." His last word was almost a sob. Tonks nodded wordlessly.

"Ok, Remus. I…I'll stay with you. Let's go…sit…and talk, OK?" It was Remus's turn to nod wordlessly. They walked to the fire in the other room and sat down together on the couch.

"Tonks? Can I call you by your first name?" Remus asked hesitantly.

She stared at him in disbelief. He thought she would be wondering why he wanted to. He was about to tell her never mind, but she spoke first. "Remus, you may call me Tonks, or if you prefer, Dora. But not around other people, OK? And that's only if I can call you Rem."

He agreed, but wondered why she wanted to call to call him Rem. As if Remus wasn't a perfectly OK name! "Well, as long as you don't call me that in front of other people, I can't complain. Deal, Dora?"

"Deal, Rem." She smiled at him, and then they both stared in the fire for several long minutes. Then she broke the silence again. "Rem, I think Harry's going to feel like it is his fault. That Sirius…you know…Anyway, I think you should talk to him." She reached over and took his hand. He stiffened momentarily, then relaxed and squeezed her hand.

"Dora, I…Sirius was like a brother to me. The brother I never had. Especially after James…well, after he escaped, and found me…and mostly this year, he's been my brother. You know? I mean, it would be very hard for me to talk to Harry; he never really got a chance to know Sirius Black, Marauder. All he knew was Sirius Black, protective, lonely godfather. I can't reach him because I was never really part of anything that was godfather and godson, and he was never part of anything that was brother and brother. And at this point, I'm not completely sure I don't blame him for…Sirius's…death." His voice cracked at the end, and he barely noticed the tears streaming down his face.

Dora noticed, and wrapped her arms around him as her own tears came. Almost on reflex, Remus's arms found their way around her. They sobbed into each other's shoulders for a long time, occasionally saying things like, "He wouldn't want us to be sad," and "It'll be okay." They drew solace from their contact, and even when the tears subsided stayed in the same position. Sometime during this time, Dora ended up sitting in his lap with her face buried in his shoulder and her arms around his neck. Remus's face was buried in her hair with his arms wrapped around her waist.

Remus realized a while later that Dora had fallen asleep in his arms. He was far too exhausted himself to move her, so he pulled his wand out of his pocket. "Engorgio," he said tiredly. The couch stretched to be big enough to be a bed. Remus yawned and lay down, his friend still in his arms. They slept undisturbed until morning.

A/N: Yes, it is sort of moving a little bit fast. We're assuming Remus has loved her for, oh, a year? Who knows. But he's filled with grief, his nerves are shot, and he's got a lot of built up sexual tension. Rated T for language and almost sexual content in later chapters.

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