Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a super genius; we are merely roadrunners that try to borrow her characters.
Warnings: Mild language, sexual situations, drug references and a fluffy goodness chaser for chapters 20-22.
A/N: This is the repost for this chapter, sorry for the inconvenience.
Chapter 23: There's a Bad Moon on the Rise…
Remus entered Kate's room and closed the door behind him. He found her awake and sitting on the foot of the bed looking out the window. "Are you alright?"
"Just thinking.", she replied.
He stepped further into the room. "Are we alright? I mean… I know you said that you understood but…"
Kate sighed. "I don't know."
"I know this has all happened very fast but I do love you, Kate. I know I probably sound rather pathetic considering all that has happened, but I really didn't mean to hurt you and I really want to be with you.", he said longingly.
"I know, Remus. I… I just… I'm afraid. And it's irrational and I know you won't hurt me. I know you love me and I know last night wasn't entirely your fault but…", she replied.
"I promise I will never purposefully I lay a hand on you. I love you, Kate. You are the most precious thing in the world to me, and I hate myself for what I did.", he said sincerely. "You are the loveliest creature, I have ever laid eyes. I would love for you to choose me as your mate, but I know that it is your choice to make. And I know this has extremely insane and chaotic. And I need you to know that I will thank the Gods that I had the honor of meeting you even if you choose to be with someone else, which I really wouldn't blame you for considering what a complete nutter I've been the past couple of days"
"I love you , Remus.", she said turning to face him. "And I have already made my choice, so stop worrying about it."
Remus walked over to her and pulled her off the bed, sweeping her into a warm embrace. "Thank you, I promise to cherish you always and to never harm you.", he said as he kissed the top of her head. "And I normally am a very peaceful person. You know of the four of us, Lily always used to say I was the gentlest soul."
"So why did you and Sirius fight?", she asked sweetly.
"Just a misunderstanding.", he said sheepishly.
"Let me guess, Paige?", she said with a small chuckle. "Most things are usually over her, better social skills and all."
"You heard? Sirius was just being a stupid wanker, he…", Remus stammered out.
"…pushes obvious buttons trying to get a reaction, when he doesn't want to deal with his own feelings because it is easier to pick a fight." Remus opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish a few times, causing Kate to laugh. "Sorry, it's part of the job description. Thank you for defending me, it was very noble of you. And stop fretting, I only heard about minute of your argument before the room feel silent and I dozed back off.", she said lovingly as she pulled him towards the bed. "Come here, it looks as if you could do with some healing spells."
"Why aren't you upset? We fought. He attacked your honor, he shouldn't have attacked your honor, Kate. You should be upset.", he said quizzically.
"He was just pushing your buttons; he knew you would defend me. And it's not like he said anything untrue in his view of me, I'm not exactly a dating queen like Paige or a social butterfly like Rose. If he saw me around our kind, he might have a much different picture of me or he might not.", she said calmly and pushed him on the bed, making him sit down so she could heal him.
Remus took this opportunity and pulled her into his arms, laying his head on her chest. "I think you are the furthest thing from frigid, you are so caring and passionate." Kate giggled as he nuzzled her bosom. "And warm… and soft… and sweet smelling." He started guiding her backwards and pulling up her t-shirt. "And good tasting", he said kissing up her torso. He pulled back and caught his breath. "You'd better stop me, Kate, or I will take off all your clothes and have my wicked way with you."
Kate smiled up at him. "You need some healing spells, beloved.", she said teasingly.
Remus gazed at her through hooded eyes, her words causing his heart to pump harder. "You need to stop saying that, you have no idea what it does to me."
"Saying what, beloved?", she asked coyly.
"Yes, stop saying that.", he growled.
"Beloved? What is wrong with the word beloved, my love?", she asked a little too innocently, batting her eyelashes.
"You are going the right way to being ravished, you know that, Kate?", he drawled.
"Am I, beloved?", she queried licking her lips.
"That's it! I can't be held responsible for my actions.", he declared before pulling her shirt up and raspberrying her stomach, making her burst out laughing. He then ducked his head under her t-shirt and began nuzzling her breasts.
"Remus , get out of there.", she gasped as he nipped at her through the lace of her bra. "I am warning you, you had better heed me now.", she admonished.
Remus placed a rough kiss on her sternum, before roughly nuzzling and cupping her breasts. "Oh heed, oh glorious, wondrous heed. Oh, how I love to take thee.", he proclaimed rolling her across the bed, while Kate laughed loudly. He pinned her to the bed again and pulled himself out of her shirt, casting a regal look at his intended "Oh such heed, you have given me. But I feel I must partake in heed, once more. ", he said before letting out a playful growl and burying his face between her breasts mumbling "Oh heed, wonderful, glorious heed."
"Are you two finished?", they heard John ask from the bedroom door, causing them both to freeze.
"Um…yes?", Kate said meekly and Remus jumped off her.
John walked into the room. "Good, Kate, go tend to Sirius and I will take care of Remus." Remus nodded at Kate and she leapt off the bed. She walked out of the room to the bathroom, where she gathered supplies.
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Kate knocked on the door jam to the guest bedroom.
Sirius turned to face the door. "It's open, luv.", he said jokingly.
Kate stepped into the room. "I can see that. John said you might be in need of a healing spell or twelve." She moved forward to hand Sirius a vial. "Here this should knock out most of the pain."
Sirius reached for the vial and hissed bringing his arm back down and holding it. "Ow."
Kate stepped closer to the animagus and held the vial to his lips. He took it in his mouth and tilted his head back, drinking its contents. "Thank you.", he mumbled and spat out the vial.
"So where else did Paige get you?", she absently asked as she pulled out her wand.
"I had a good reason.", he quickly yelped, eyeing her wand.
Kate put her wand down. "I'm just going to cast a few healing spells. I promise I'm not going to hurt you.", she said and stepped away from him with her head lowered as if he was a wounded animal.
"Oh, ok.", he said relieved. "You were pulling your wand out and I didn't know what to expect."
She nodded. "It's ok, I'm not going to pull a Paige.", she said lightly.
Sirius sat down on the bed and took off his shirt. Kate started casting healing spells over him beginning with the gash on the side of his head.
"Actually, I started it. I need to watch my temper.", he said solemnly.
Kate chuckled. "That could be said for most of the people in this apartment so don't worry over it too much."
"I won't.", he said. "Kate, who is Justin?"
Kate, who was having some trouble with his shoulder, sighed. "Justin is one of Paige's... lifelines. She calls him when she feels she needs something or someone, and he gives her a laugh or just a warm body to hold on to."
"Hmmm…he's rude.", he stated.
"He's a little abrasive. I'm sure he'll mellow with age, most boys do.", she said gently.
"I'm sure once he reaches ten he'll be a lot better.", he sniped.
Kate uncomfortably shifted, smelling the anger and hurt coming off him. "So what else hurts?", she asked trying to change the subject.
"Does Paige shag him regularly?", he asked, his temper flaring.
"Sirius, anger is a powerful motivator and tool but at the moment it is only serving to keep your wounds from closing so please just let it go. He's a twenty-two year old boy, who still lives with his parents. You are a man, who has braved things that most aurors would wet themselves over. It is not a competition, just let it go.", she pleaded.
"You're right, I have braved things or more appropriately, I've cowered in a corner whenever the dementors came by. Compared to him, I'm a broken old man.", he finished dejectedly.
"Gods, do I know how to pick them. I really like you, Sirius, and I'm sure in years to come you will be a very close and dear friend but at the moment you are just being irritating. Let it go!"
Sirius just looked up at her expectantly and Kate sighed. "Fine. Do you know what a fuck buddy is Sirius?" He shook his head no and she continued. "Paige, only calls Justin when she needs something whether that is a quick fuck or a shoulder to cry on. He doesn't matter to her in the grand scheme of things. He's a toy, Sirius. He's nothing more than an object to be used and then thrown away. She cared enough for you to get upset when you were angry with her." Kate shifted uncomfortably and her voice became filled with remorse. "Justin doesn't even qualify as a fuck-buddy because…because she never gives anything back. He is operating under the delusion that she loves him, but the truth of the matter is that when she's done with him, she will leave him broken without so much as a second thought. Trust me, Sirius, don't envy him.", she ended and let her wand drop to her side, looking far older than her thirty years. "Now kindly just tell me where it hurts?"
"Well, there is one more area…but I don't think that would be appropriate.", he said with a shy smile.
Kate blushed. "Oh."
"Tell your boyfriend he has bony knees.", he stated with a small wince. "And I just about knocked myself silly on his thick head."
Remus cleared his throat from the door way. "Now that's the cauldron calling the kettle black."
"Actually, I'd call you a Lupin.", Sirius said brightly. "You look much improved."
"Ah…yes, John happens to be a fine healer as do you my dear.", he said kindly to Kate, noticing Sirius's improved condition. "But on the topic of lupins, you might want to have a look at this, Kate." He handed her a red vial and a dark purple vial of wolfsbane.
"It's wolfsbane.", she said looking at him as if he'd gone mad.
Sirius shook his head at the colors appearing before his eyes and piped up. "Kate, can I have my door back? I think I had better lay down."
"One minute, Sirius.", she said, inspecting the vials. "Where did John go?"
"He said that he had things to attend to and to tell you that the moon would be split as usual and this stuff is not Scottish, whatever that means.", Remus recounted, noticing that Kate's eyes got very large.
"Not Scottish?" Kate sniffed the vial questioningly. "That fucking weasel! How could he?", she growled.
Sirius quirked his head and stared at the four werewolves in front of him. "I know a family of weasels. They all have red hair and the youngest one is hot."
Remus wrapped his arms around Kate, who was now crying. "How could he have done that? So many things could have gone wrong. What if...", she said visibly paling.
"What did he do?", Sirius asked brightly and started swinging his legs in time with the green fairy sitting next to him.
Remus turned to Sirius. "He switched the wolfsbane potions."
"That bastard!" he said, outraged. He remembered that he didn't know who exactly was a bastard so he turned to Kate. "Who?"
Remus cast a worried glance at Sirius. "Jack."
"Well, that's not very nice of him. Can I have a biscuit? I love biscuits. Well, I like them. Now Peter, he loved biscuits remember that one year we found him humping the tin that Circe Potter sent? James was livid. Hmm… maybe he loved biscuit tins and not the biscuits necessarily.", he pondered.
Kate broke from Remus's embrace and ran over to Sirius. "Sirius, are you allergic to Kava?"
"No, I'm alright. I don't need any caffeine.", he said politely and petted her hair. "Your hair is soft like mine, touch it!", he ordered and bent forward for Kate to stroke his hair.
Remus burst out laughing. Kate turned to look at him. "Has he done this before?"
He was currently on the floor laughing. "Yes, in third year.", he managed to gasp out.
Sirius leaned forward to see what Remus found so funny and fell on Kate. "Oops. I squished you."
Kate helped Sirius off her. "Nothing to worry about.", she said gently before turning to the other wizard. "Remus, I think he might be reacting to the potion I gave him. What did he take in third year?"
"I took Divination and Potions and I took Transig… Transf…McGonagall's class and I took Herbology." Sirius said proudly and fell back on Kate.
She shifted Sirius off her again. "Remus, a little help please?", she pleaded but Remus was laughing too hard to be of much help.
"Their like two big feather pillows aren't they?", Sirius said observationally, poking at her right breast..
Kate blushed. "Padfoot, what herbs did you take in third year that made you feel like this?"
"You called me Padfoot, can I call you Luna?", Sirius asked.
"Yes, you can call me Luna. Just tell me what you took in third year that make you feel like this?", said the mildly irritated werewolf.
"Luna, I don't know, but I'm starting to think I should do it again.", he said helpfully.
Kate turned to Remus again and shook her head in dismay. "Sirius, would you like some Mountain Dew?"
"No, Luna, tap water is fine. You don't need to go all the way to a mountain just to get me some water.", he replied.
Kate bit back a laugh. "Can you help me get some water in the kitchen?"
"Luna, don't you already have some in there?", he responded.
Remus stood up, wiping tears from his eyes. "What can I do to help?"
"Finally", Kate said under her breath. "The stuff that made him loopy, was it supposed to help him sleep?"
Sirius jumped on the bed. "I don't wanna take a nap, Luna!" He started bouncing higher and higher on the bed until he hit the ceiling and fell to the floor. "Ow!"
Remus shook his head. "They were brownies my Mother made to calm me down."
Kate sighed in relief. "Ok, he is having a reaction to the pain killer. We just need to get some caffeine in him."
"Hey Moony, your Mum and I smoked pot once. Then the ninjas on the lawn tried to kill us but we got away. Then she told me that my Dad didn't like Muggleborns because Pureblood witches won't tell you if your hung like a hummingbird.", he said swaying slightly. Remus and Kate burst into laughter as he continued. "Moony, am I hung like a hummingbird?"
Remus tried to control his laughter. "I don't know, Padfoot."
"Luna, would you check for me?", he asked innocently.
Kate blushed. "How about we check that out after we go to the kitchen?"
"Ok", he replied and the trio headed down the hall, stopping only to occasionally pick Sirius off the floor.
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Remus was laughing so hard at the sight of his best friend that he could hardly breathe. "Sirius, you might not want to crawl under the refrigerator.", he suggested, holding his side.
"But I lost my cookie and I think I see some ham!", he replied excitedly, reaching under the appliance. "Luna, can you pick this up? It's getting in my way."
Kate sighed and stepped over the animagus, casting a levitation charm on the fridge. "There you go, Padfoot. Now will you please drink this?", she asked holding out a can of Mountain Dew.
Sirius got off the floor. "Alright.", he said as he took the container. Kate turned away from him to pick up the box of cereal that had fallen off the fridge.
Sirius set down the untouched soda and opened the first cupboard he saw. Pulling a tall white cylinder from the shelf, he removed the lid to find a little yellow knob. He pressed on it with his finger, coating the area around his nose and mouth with nonstick cooking spray. He set it down startled and continued to rummage through the spice cabinet. He found he liked the smell of several jars but cloves were his favorite. This was the one he was currently sniffing, he was so intent on the smell that after inhaling he snorted the powdered cloves covering his muzzle. He jerked back spilling the cloves and knocking over his soda. "Ow… Ow… OW… Bloody OW!", he exclaimed. Kate turned and with a flick of her wand took care of Sirius's clove problem. "Well, that was full.", she sighed. "Are you alright?"
Sirius gave her a watery eyed nod. "That hurt. Luna, what's PAM?"
Kate stifled a laugh. "Non-stick cooking spray. Paige uses it when she bakes things."
"It's greasy.", he observed. "Can I have another Mountain Dew, Luna?"
Kate grimaced. "Let me guess, you didn't drink any before you spilled it?" Sirius nodded and she turned to Remus. "Keep him out of trouble, I need to make a call."
Remus nodded. "I'll do my best."
She patted Sirius on the top of his head and crossed the front room to the dining room, grabbing her cell phone on the way. She dialed her office and waited. "Hello? Yes, can you please connect me to Paige Pierce in the DAS office. Thank you."
Paige picked up her office phone. "Agent Pierce speaking.", she declared.
"Hey Paige, we've had a bit of an incident. Could you please pick up some Mountain Dew or Jolt on the way home?", Kate asked hopefully.
"Why are you and Remus going to do body shots?", Paige teased.
"Nothing that fun, Sirius had a reaction to the painkiller I gave him after he got into it with Remus this morning.", she said frustration coating her words.
"He's just fighting with everyone isn't he?", Paige snapped. "What did they fight about?"
"Sirius was upset about Justin and when Remus tried to calm him down things escalated.", she replied.
"I know, I already got a call from Justin this morning. He said my friend's rabid dog tried to attack him.", Paige declared exasperatedly.
Kate sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that, but it still doesn't change the fact that I have a stoned wizard rummaging through the kitchen. And there are less than four hours to full moon.", she explained.
Paige was quiet for a moment. "I can't Kate. I have things to do. Besides, isn't he still mad at me? After last night, I'd say he would be.", she said softly.
"Paige, I don't know what you two fought about and I understand if you don't want to come into the apartment. But I need to deal with the situation at hand and that situation is a 36 year old ADD chemically altered wizard. Throw a liter through the front door and run, if you have to." Kate growled.
"Well," Paige retorted, "I have a meeting in fifteen minutes on the new lanyards that I just can't possibly miss. I can't get the soda, so go get some yourself."
Kate slammed her cell phone down, smashing it and stalked into the living room. She grabbed the land line and pulled it into the dining room, not paying attention to the exclamations escaping the kitchen.
She dialed John's cell. "John, hi.", she said shakily. "No, I'm ok. Can I ask you a huge favor? Can you get me a Mountain Dew or a Jolt or even just a cup of coffee? Thank you, I will see in a couple minutes." Kate hung up the phone and walked back into the living room, stumbling as she beheld the sight in front of the sofa.
Remus was lying face down on the floor bound in hot pink rope and clad in a pale pink silk and black lace bra and panties set. He was gagged with one of Sirius's socks from the day before. Sirius sat on top of him and surveyed the living room; whilst bouncing up and down, and eating Cheetos. He waved an orange colored hand at Kate. " 'Allo luv, your boyfriend isn't very comfy. Can I bounce on you now?"
"No, Sirius. Why don't you let Remus go?", she asked tentatively.
"Nope, he lost the race. Rules are I get to sit on him.", he declared merrily, bouncing higher for emphasis.
"What race was this?", Kate asked.
"The race from the kitchen to the living room, of course. Can I bounce on you now?", he asked.
"No, Sirius maybe another time. Where are Remus's clothes?", she asked cautiously.
"I thought you might like him like this.", he chirped as he patted Remus's bottom.
"I appreciate the thought but I prefer him in men's clothing. Can you change his clothes back for me?", she asked, stifling a laugh.
"Alright luv.", he replied and Kate let out a sigh of relief. He flicked his wand and Remus clad in nothing but a man's g-string. "Paige bought me one of these. It's men's clothing and you can still see his bum." Sirius turned and patted Remus's bottom. "It's kind of scrawny isn't it?"
"I really like his bottom, Sirius.", she said gently.
"Do you like the knickers? I put little moons on them for you, that way you can leave them up or pull them down and you'll still get mooned. Want to see?", Sirius asked giddily.
Kate chuckled warmly. "They are quite lovely. Thank you, Padfoot."
"Anything for you, Luna.", he said confidently before pulling down Remus's knickers, just as John walked in the front door.
John stared at the animagus, who was currently straddling a naked male werewolf. "What do you think you are doing?", he asked in a fatherly tone.
Sirius beamed at John. "I think I'm showing Kate Remus's bum."
John mumbled a few words under his breath and repaired the guestroom door. He then turned and glared down at Sirius. "Sirius, stop being a dumbass and drink this… NOW!"
"Alrighty then.", Sirius said with a salute, before reaching for the soda. John handed it to him, and steadied the beverage in Sirius's hands.
Sirius drank the soda, while still straddling Remus. After the first few sips, he began bouncing on his friend again, splashing him with cold Mountain Dew. "That is refreshing isn't it, Moony?"
John lowered his voice to a deep growl. "Get off Remus and unbind him.", he ordered. Sirius nodded and got off Remus's back. He sat next to the werewolf and patted his head.
John leaned down and locked eyes with Sirius. "Unbind him now.", he ordered and Sirius swallowed hard, suddenly sobering as the caffeine hit his blood stream.
Sirius threw Remus a guilty glance and burst into gales of laughter. After a few tries, he did manage to unbind him. Remus pulled up his pants, and stood up. But not before Sirius smacked his arse gleefully. "This is priceless, Moony. Do you have a camera, Kate?", he asked the effects of the potion quickly wearing off.
Kate handed Remus a blanket from the back of a chair. "No, Sirius, I don't have a camera."
"Pity.", Sirius said through a yawn. "I think I will have a bit of a lie down then.", he said as he headed down the hall.
John and Kate stared in confusion as Sirius retreated down the hall. "Has he always been like this?", the older werewolf asked.
Remus pulled the blanket tighter around his waist. "No, actually. He's mellowed with age."
Kate giggled at this proclamation and John let out a hearty chuckle. "Well, at least he's consistent. Anyway, I've got a moon to set up for. Kate remember the stuff you've got isn't Scottish so take what Abby put in the cabinet.". With that said, John gave Kate and Remus a nod, leaving the apartment.
Remus turned to Kate. "Not Scottish? Of course the potion isn't Scottish, it's English Wolfsbane. Although, if the potion were brewed in Scotland it would probably be same as if it were brewed in England because of Ministry Regulation."
Kate laughed at her intended. "No, he meant it wasn't Scottish."
"What on earth are you talking about, woman?", he playfully growled.
"It's code, silly. If something is below par, it's not Scottish.", she said coyly before moving towards the hall.
"Really? Well, I'm Scottish does that make me acceptable?", he said in a deep brogue. She nodded shyly and he continued. "So why are good things Scottish, lass?"
"One of the older members of our clan, developed a few little eccentricities when he hit 180. He started going on and on about the virtues of everything Scottish. So now everything that isn't wonderful is simply not Scottish or in his words everything is either Scottish or crap.", she said with a giggle.
"You know Kate, I really don't see why that is so funny. Lots of wonderful things come from Scotland, perhaps he is just nostalgic.", he said slightly concerned.
"Yes, that would be the case normally, but he came to the United States from Bombay and has never visited the U.K..", she said stifling a laugh.
"Tsk… Such negative language about Scotland from such a lovely mouth, I think I need to show you some of the virtues of Scottish men.", Remus admonished, adopting his brogue once more and closing the distance between them.
"I was just relaying information.", she said gently, wrapping her arms around him.
"Ah yes, information. What is the difference between a clan and a pack?", he asked in his best professorial tone and then kissed her deeply.
She broke away and caught her breath. "A pack has one alpha pair to lead it. A clan has several pairs that lead in a council. And a tribe is made up of multiple clans."
"And Vegas has a clan?", he asked, directing her toward the bedroom.
"Yes, Vegas is a clan.", she said gently.
"Hmm...Very interesting. "How much time do we have before we have to leave?"
"We need to be there in three hours.", she said calmly before doubling back to the kitchen and grabbing the potions. "Almost forgot.", she said as she entered the room and handed him his vial. They downed their potions and Kate banished the empty containers to the kitchen. She then crossed to her dresser and took out a small vial of oil. She gave Remus an impish smile. "This will make transformation a lot smoother tonight, but you'll have to something you don't like doing."
"And what would that be?", he said lecherously
"Let Moony be in control through the transformation." Remus opened his mouth to protest. "I know it sounds like a really bad idea, but between the potion and the other wolves, everything will be fine. And the change will be a lot less traumatic. Do you trust me?", she asked.
Remus nodded and whispered "Yes".
Kate stood in front of him and dabbed the oil on his forehead and mumbled something he just couldn't make out. She repeated the process on herself and sat on the bed. "Do you want to take a nap?" Remus yawned and nodded.
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Moony snorted as he rolled over to lift himself off the ground. Wait a minute…these aren't my paws, he thought as he fell back on the bed, face first into some pillows. Rolling over on his side, he saw his intended still resting in human form. After he shifted again she began to stir, then stretched back on all fours next to him.
Never one to miss an opportunity, Moony mounted Luna only to be thrown off and glared at. Moony tried to make the appropriate noise but it was too high and sounded squeaky, causing her to chuckle. "Talking usually works better in this form.", she said sagely before gracefully bounding off the bed. She then began pulling off her clothes with an air of distain. "Why she likes being confined I will never know.", she growled as she threw off her bra.
Moony stared at the creature in front of him. "Kate?", he asked quizzically.
Luna chuckled and turned to face him, naked as the day she was born and totally unashamed. "Some call me that. My family calls me blue-eyes. The cat and dog call me Luna.", she said as she loosened her hair from its bonds and shook her head, letting her hair frame her face in wild curls.
"I've seen you.", he said, cautiously standing up. She nodded and crossed to a box in the corner; pulling out two robes and tossing one to him. "What is this for?", he asked.
"You'll be cold until moonrise and then cold again at sun up.", she simply stated.
Moony nodded and started removing Remus's clothes. After he had changed into his robe, he glanced at her and let out a low whine that still didn't sound right. "Do you agree?", he asked.
"That depends on how we get along.", she said curtly.
Moony dashed towards her and moved to pounce on her. She dodged and swiftly pinned him to the floor. "If you want docile, I suggest you find yourself a nice Beta or perhaps even a human. Now get ready.", she growled.
He gently flipped her over so that he straddled her hips. "I have no intention of hurting you, but I'm not going to let you push me around. I am yours because I choose to be. Now, are you mine?", he growled back and then licked from the base of her neck to her earlobe. He snorted at the fact that his tongue wasn't well suited for the task.
Luna thrust her hips up and pushed him off her. Standing, she threw the robe on. "We will be late.", she said briskly.
"What do I have to do?", he asked, frustrated at her behavior.
"Show me what you truly are.", she said with a strange mix of authority and mischief, sweeping out the door.
A/N: Well that is it for today's exciting installment of Las Vegas is a Scary Place. We worked hard to make it less violent and angsty, though I must admit I got a bit misty when Sirius couldn't reach the cookie.
As always thank you reading our lovely piece of brain crack, and a very special thank you to our reviewers. First in general response to everyone, yes, Jack is currently in line to visit the proctologist to help with his breathing problem. For some reason, he can't get enough oxygen at the moment. And he will probably get a little karmic payback. So now on to the individual responses:
MissMoony16: As you can see we did update, woohoo! And as far as banana's go, I have no idea. Hornhead was in charge of the reviews last chapter and she just found it funny to make Remus shaped like a banana, I wish I knew why. Actually, strike that, I really don't think I want to know why.
Katarina McGonagall: Thank you for the review as always. I'm glad you are becoming addicted to our fic (hehehe) and that you liked Abby, she took a little while to develop and this is her third incarnation.
Jen: Why of course Monkey-fellatiating. Where did you think monkey juice came from? Anyway, feel free to dislike anything about the story, we fought amongst ourselves over the last couple chapters. Thank you for the great reviews.
Surfergurl16: Yes, poor Sirius. We feel the same way, but things can only get better right? Thanks for the review.
TheBeautifulLetdown : Yes, violence and random acts of people. How do we do it? Why do we do it? Umm…I don't know. But thanks for the review.
And finally,
Darth Gilthoron: Thank you for reviewing chapter 16. Hmm...Don't like the mudblood mafia? Well, that is fine. Really, it is. And if a black van with men in Italian suits and thin ties follow you a bit, just ignore it. They will go away eventually (j/k). Thank you for the male input, Hornhead is absolutely thrilled that you like Paige.
But on to a bigger matter or smaller matter, Sirius's measurement. Yes, 23cm or 9 inches is a bit on the large side and really isn't probable, though, it is possible with .1 of the male population measuring 23cm or more while erect according to a recent study out of the University of California, San Francisco. The current largest functioning penis is twelve inches and the largest penis recorded of a native of the British Isles is 10 ½ inches. Most women can accommodate up to a 9 ½ inches or 24 cm long penis, an excess in length simply means that not all of it will be used in the sexual act. That being said (catches breath), men have been known to exaggerate and Hornhead wanted choose that number as his response. (rereads informative blurb) Gods, I need to stop teaching the human sexuality sections of my sociology classes. Thank you very much for your review, it made me really think out my reply.
So that's all for tonight. The next installment will be out in 3 to 5 days. Happy New Year!! Prof. Pendragon.