I tossed the towel down onto the counter after yet another round of dishes. I managed to only break one this time. I don't know why I volunteer to help with the cleaning. I generally end up just making more of a mess than what I started with.

I wandered upstairs in hopes of finding some company. As I passed the door of the study, I noticed Remus sitting in the armchair, absorbed in a rather thick book. I debated whether or not I wanted to disturb him. Stupid girl, wanting to disrupt someone simply for a bit of attention. However, I paused at the doorway anyway, watching him. He seemed completely relaxed, perched cross-legged in the chair, and his shoes were on the floor in front of him as if he had sloppily kicked them off. I could see his toes through his threadbare socks. One elbow rested on his knee, his head in his hand. His other arm was wrapped around the book, turning pages. He looked almost child-like, his eyes eagerly scanning the pages. It was, well, rather cute.

Cute? Stupid girl, quit showing your age.

"Hello, Tonks," he said without looking up. I jumped. His voice had broken my silence and startled me.

"Er…hello," I replied. "I didn't mean to…I mean, I thought I was being quiet…"

"Don't worry, you were very quiet. I didn't hear you at all."

"Then how did you know I was here?"

Still not looking up, he tapped the side of his nose with a slight smile. "One of the few perks of being a werewolf. I have a wicked sense of smell."

"Oh." I didn't know what to do now. "Well then, sorry to disturb you." I turned to leave when he called me back.

"Please, join me."

With one graceful swoop he marked his place and closed his book. The then turned his head and attention to me and waited.

"Well, if you're sure…" I mumbled hesitantly.

"Absolutely."

I crossed into the room and threw myself onto the couch. I flipped my now long hair over the side and laid my head on the armrest.

"A blonde today, I see."

"Yeah," I replied. "They tell me blondes have more fun."

"And?"

"I have yet to prove them right." I joked. An amused smile was his only reply. "Whatcha reading?" I asked.

"Research. A Guide to Werewolf Communities of Britain and Ireland," he said, holding the book up for me to see. "A very interesting read, really. Although I'm curious to know how they got so much information on werewolves, considering we're a pretty serious threat to humans during a full moon."

Good point. "Research for what?" I asked.

"Well Tonks, you would be proud to know that I took your advice seriously."

"You've found yourself a girlfriend! Oh Remus, I'm so proud of you! Who's the lucky lady?" I teased.

"Unfortunately, not that advice. Your other advice. About founding a werewolf support group," he laughed. "Dumbledore thought it was a good idea, too. After our slight setback with the giants, we thought of working on some other 'dark creatures' we might have a tie with."

It didn't take a Mediwizard to see where this was going. "So you're looking at an undercover mission."

"Precisely. Because of the advances made with Wolfsbane, I'm able to keep my rational head during the moon even though I still transform. I still look the part, but I'm a little less dangerous to the public," he explained.

"But from what I know about werewolves, feral or not, they tend to run in packs. You can't just walk right into one, say, 'Hey, my name is Remus and I'm looking for a good time," and leave it at that." Not that I didn't trust his judgement, or Dumbledore's, either, but even seasoned Hit-Wizards know to respect werewolves, feral or not. "No offense, but do you really think you're up to that kind of spy work?"

He was very pensive. "To be honest, I don't know. Because I don't associate with other werewolves, I have little to no idea what to expect—or what they'll expect of me. Hence the background reading. I figure, at the very worst, I can play the part of a recent convert looking to 'find out who I am' or something. My ignorance might just be a benefit."

"Or it might kill you."

"Well, unless you know of any other werewolves who moonlight as wizards—no pun intended—it's the chance I have to take."

"True." I considered the possibilities of what he might be getting himself into. I went to school for years to learn the basics of undercover work, and this poor sod was getting himself thrown into it with as much help as 'James Bond for Dummies.' "Look, Remus, I'm not going to sugar-coat this. You're going to be in way over your head." I was worried. "Tell you what, I'll do what I can to help you out. The Ministry's been tracking werewolf activity for years, thanks to our good friend Delores Umbridge. I'll see what I can dig up for you to help you prepare. Okay?"

He smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Tonks. I'm going to need all the help I can get."

"Damn straight you are. Who's going to be making your potion for you?"

"I reckon Dumbledore will ask Severus to do it. He is the Potions Master, after all."

I frowned. For some reason, Severus Snape left a bad taste in my mouth. "And you trust Snape to do this for you?"

"I trust Severus Snape as one soldier has to trust another," he answered slowly. I nodded in understanding. "But do I believe he's loyal to the Order and not to Voldemort? I have no idea. And I know I'm not one of his favorite people. But," he shrugged in resignation, "until I have reason not to, I trust him because Dumbledore does." He paused thoughtfully. "But do I have a backup plan? You bet I do."

"I should hope so." Snape's feelings toward Remus were no secret. It was easy to draw the line from Snape to Malfoy to Umbridge's legislation two years ago--shortly after Remus' resignation from Hogwarts. "Personally, I take the Moody 'Trust No One' approach." I grinned wickedly, bulged one eye, and barked, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

We both laughed. Although Alastor Moody is a man who commands respect, his paranoia is the stuff of legends. And cheap, pot-shot jokes.

Our laughter must have drawn attention, because I heard footsteps in the hall. Molly poked her head into the study. I immediately sat up on the couch. I don't know what it was, but that woman was so much a mother that she didn't need to say a word to make me feel guilty for putting my feet on the furniture.

"Sorry," she said. "I just heard voices and wondered who was still here. I take it you're both staying the night then?" We both nodded. "Oh good. Well, I'm going to bed now. You both have a good night." As she turned to leave, I thought I caught a faint twinkle in her eyes. It was almost mischievous.

"You know, that sounds like an excellent idea," Remus yawned. "I think I'll turn in as well. See you in the morning, Tonks." He gathered up his shoes and books and left me sitting on the couch.

Come to think of it, bed was a damn good idea. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. Afterall, tomorrow was the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition.

888

I awoke out of a dead sleep. Was that screaming I heard? I listened carefully. It was, and it was coming from the floor above me. What on earth was going on? There's nobody up there except…

Sirius.

What the hell is going on?

I bolted out of bed. Unfortunately, I was still tangled in the bedcovers and fell facedown on the floor. Shit. I struggled for a minute before I freed myself and tore from my room to the staircase and to the top floor. I rounded the hallway to find not only Sirius' door already open, but that Remus had beat me there.

It wasn't a pretty scene, either. Remus was trying to hold down a frantically thrashing Sirius, who was screaming at the top of his lungs. To be honest, I didn't even recognize him. It was as if I had stepped into one of those horribly cliché Muggle horror flicks, watching as the mad scientist performed ungodly experiments on helpless people. Except there was no mad scientist. There was only torture. Sirius' eyes were wide open, haunted and full of fear. His face was absolutely drained of color and contorted by the panic controlling him. Soaked in his own sweat, hair matted and clinging to his face and neck, he tore at the bedcovers around him, trying to free himself from…

"Is he awake?" I asked.

"No, he's not," Remus responded quickly. "Listen, I need you to get me a couple of cold washcloths and the chocolate from my bedside table. And will you please take that bloody chicken into another room and calm him before he wakes the entire house!"

I sprinted back downstairs to the bathroom, where I found a stack of clean washcloths (thank you, Molly Weasley, domestic goddess!), and wet them hurriedly. On my way back, I found the other open bedroom door, grabbed a chunk of chocolate from the table, and whipped back up the stairs. As I re-entered the room, Remus pinned Sirius down by kneeling on his chest and deftly caught the linens and chocolate I threw to him. I then whirled around to face a very frightened hippogriff.

Thank Merlin he was tied up.

Buckbeak was stomping his legs and beating his wings fiercely. Not to mention trying to free himself from the rope around his huge neck. I put my two fingers in my mouth and whistled, hoping that would get his attention. As he turned one orange eye towards me, I bowed low.

"Come on, Beaky. It's only Tonks. You're going to be okay, everything's okay, it's only me," I sang soothingly.

He seemed to respond and calm himself. Well, enough for me to get close enough to untie him without one of those massive wings knocking me out. I pulled him out of the room and down the hall. I continued to sing quietly to him as I petted his head until he had stopped thrashing about. I cautiously opened the door to my left, found that the room was empty, and tied him in it.

By the time I got back to Sirius' room, he had stopped thrashing and closed his eyes, though he was still whimpering. Remus was sitting on the bed with Sirius' head in his lap, sponging his face, neck, and upper chest with the washcloths.

"He thinks he's still in Azkaban," he explained. "Being back in this house reminds him of it. It's as if he's still surrounded by Dementors. I guess in his head, he still is." I thought he was about to cry, his eyes were so full of concern and sadness. I was touched by the care he was giving his friend.

"So he does this often?" I asked.

Nodding, he folded one of the remaining cloths on Sirius' head and reached for the chocolate. "This looks incredibly humiliating, but I've found it's best not to wake him. Not only does waking him startle him even more, but it also embarrasses him. I've found this works better." And with that, he placed the tip of the chocolate bar in his friend's mouth with one hand, and gently stroked his cheek with the other. Just like an infant's instinctive response, Sirius started sucking on the chocolate.

"I'm lucky he's such a heavy sleeper. He'd kill me if he knew what I was doing," he told me. He added, "But it's the only way to calm him."

After a bit, Sirius fell back into a more restful sleep. He removed the chocolate and washcloth and motioned for me to come to him. He handed them to me and said, "I'm going to change him out of these wet clothes. Would you mind taking care of these for me?" I nodded and numbly left the room. On the landing, I paused and leaned my head on the cool stone. I dropped what I was holding and raised my hands to my face. I couldn't get his eyes out of my head. Those empty, haunted eyes. The terrors that they were looking into. Twelve years of this. He had been through twelve years of absolute hell for nothing. My heart was pounding.

My numbness turned to anger. He was an innocent man who was now back in Azkaban, locked away in his own mind with memories of darkness and pain as his only friends. An innocent man who was never going to be acquitted in his sleep. My head was throbbing.

I wanted to rage. A man murdered by Dementors. Twelve years. A life taken with no hope of return. Those eyes. Those tormented, hollow eyes. Staring hell in the face. No hope of atonement, no hope of a redemption not needed. No hope. How could this happen? Where was the justice in this? My blood was boiling.

I wanted to…I wanted to just…

CRACK!

I rammed my fist into the wall. It hurt, but not nearly enough. I wanted to hurt on the outside as much as I hurt on the inside. We had lost a best friend. A brother. I continued beating on the wall. I couldn't hit it hard enough, I couldn't scream loud enough. Images of what I just witnessed closed in on me. The staring eyes. The sweaty, matted hair. The man who would never have his life back. The man with only the shadow of a soul.

Somewhere in the middle of my blinding pain I felt someone grab me and try to stop me from beating on the wall.

"How dare you! How dare you take him from us!" I screamed. I don't know who I was really talking to, but I kept fighting anyway. I turned to face my attacker. I now wanted someone else to hurt as much as I did. I kept screaming and punching until I was exhausted, when I felt someone's arms wrap around me, and sobbing, I fell to the floor.

It was only then did I realize where I was and what I was doing. I started taking deep breaths to calm my racking sobs and looked up.

"Feel better now?" Remus asked me. He was kneeling next to me, sporting a bleeding lip and a torn, bloodstained shirt.

I nodded, starting to feel ashamed. I looked down at my hands. They were swollen and bleeding freely. I realized that was my blood on his shirt.

"Here, let me look at those," he said softly, gently taking my hands in his. He examined them. When he got to the knuckles on my left hand, I winced and pulled them back. "Just what I thought," he continued. "Broken. Come with me, I'll help you fix it up. Oh, you might want to wrap your hands in this." He pulled off his shirt and wrapped it around my hands to stem the bleeding. I noticed big, red welts on his chest where I must have hit him. I felt even worse.

He helped me up and I followed him to the bathroom. "Have a seat and I'll be right back." I obeyed. When he returned with his wand and some bandages, I was grateful to see he had put on another shirt. Those welts looked like they hurt. He expertly washed my cuts and bandaged my left hand. "Now, I'm not the best at this, but I think it will be okay," he apologized as he tapped my hand with his wand. I could feel the stabbing pain turn into an ache as my bones mended.

"Thanks," I mumbled weakly. "Look, I'm really sorry…I don't know what got into me…"

"Don't worry about it," he cut me off. "I had a similar reaction the first time, too. It's a hard thing to take." He paused. "Sometimes you have to bleed. It reminds you that you're still alive."

"Is this why you've been staying here so much?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded as he sank onto the edge of the bathtub next to me. "I know it isn't much, but I think it helps to have company in the house. Keeps him distracted during the day."

We sat lost in our thoughts for a few more minutes. I finally broke the silence. "I'm really sorry if I hurt you."

He turned to me and smiled slightly. "Don't worry about it, Tonks. Just don't tell anybody that I got beat up by a girl. I have a reputation to keep," he teased. "Listen. Everything will be just fine tomorrow. But for now, you need to get some sleep. All right?"

I nodded, still staring down at the floor. He helped me up and walked me back to my room. It wasn't until we were at the door that I finally looked up into his face. "Thanks, Remus," I said simply.

"Good night, Tonks." He smiled. "Oh. Eat this. It'll help." He handed me a piece of chocolate he pulled from his pocket. Then he turned and walked down the hall.

In the morning, I woke to the smell of bacon. Molly must be up and cooking breakfast. I dressed carefully, nursing my still aching hand, and wandered downstairs. Remus was right. I was feeling much better after my little catharsis.

"Good morning dear," Molly greeted me. Then she spotted my hand. "What on earth happened to you?" she asked.

She must have slept right through all the commotion last night. It was just as well. "Oh, I fell out of bed and hit my nightstand," I lied. "Clumsy me!"

Molly had a very piercing eye. But if she suspected anything, she didn't say so. "I'm sorry, dear. Well, eat up. I suppose the kids will be down any minute."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I poured myself some coffee. Soon after I sat down, Remus came down the stairs.

"Mmmm…bacon," he said hungrily as he kissed Molly on the cheek.

I was surprised to see her blush slightly. "And good morning to you, too, Remus," she said. He helped himself to some coffee, too, and swiped a few pieces of fried pig. With a knowing smile and a wink, he settled himself down across the table from me. As he reached across the table for the sugar, I could see him wince slightly. I hoped Molly hadn't noticed.

Not a chance. "Remus? Are you okay?" she asked sternly.

"Fine, Molly, fine. I just slept wrong last night. Nothing but a few aches in these old bones of mine," he answered lightly. I guess after raising seven children, Ma Weasley knew when she was being lied to. She gave him one of her I'll-let-you-get-away-with-that-for-now-but-guarantee-I'll-find-out-what-really-happened looks.

I decided to change the subject. "Everything ready for Harry tonight?" I asked.

"Everything's a go on this end," answered Remus. He was in charge of the rescue mission.

"I'll be so glad once he's finally here," Molly commented as she finally stopped bustling around and took a sip of tea. "I hate having to send him to that nasty Muggle family every year." Her face darkened significantly.

Remus sighed. "I know, but it keeps him safe for another year. Now if we can just sort out this mess with the Ministry…"

"I'm sure it will be fine. Fudge may be an ass, but even he has to follow the law, and the law is on Harry's side," I shrugged. "And speaking of the salt mines, it's time for me to go and join the rest of the drones. See you all at six." I very carefully carried my cup to the sink, and with the standard good-byes, left for work.

Later in the day I decided to take the bandages off. I was starting to feel better and I was getting tired of making excuses for why I was injured. As I flexed my hand, I thought that Remus Lupin would have made a damn good healer. Not only were all of my bones intact, but there was only a slight redness to my knuckles. It was hard to believe that they were raw and bloody just twelve hours ago.

I felt a strange pull in my middle as I thought of last night. His hands were so gentle as they held mine. Mine were so small in comparison. And how he so carefully wrapped the bandages around them. And his eyes, so quiet and full of concern…

I shook my head. "Stop being so silly," I muttered to myself. Still, I couldn't help but think of his tenderness. And he's going undercover to the werewolves? I sure hope he's a damn good actor. Because if they see any weakness in him like I saw last night, they'll rip him limb from limb.

i A/N: Thanks for wading through Chapter Two. I would like to take this time to officially state my intentions with this story. As I poked around HP fanfiction, I was amused to find the Lupin/Tonks pairing alluded to frequently. And it made sense to me...but why? I wanted to try to explore what it was about these two that somehow fit together. Plus, it was fun to flush out other Order member's personalities and how Tonks would relate to them, as well. Hence the ordeal with Sirius. i