Innocent Resentment
"The feelings of those with stolen light"

Chapter 4 - Lust: Midnight Darker than Eye

By the time I reached home I felt foolish for running. Whatever had driven me had disappeared and left no trace at all which only sharpened the pang of embarrassment. The girl would tell people, and they'd laugh. I'd be worse the anonymous, I'd be mocked.

I scanned the street behind me, quiet echoing through itself for miles. My fingers turned the doorknob of my house to find it unlocked. A sigh escaped me, and I slipped into the warm old light of the room, closing the door behind me and clicking the lock into place. The sound triggered a voice that echoed down the hall from the main room.

"Ayumi? Is that you?" I slipped my feet from my shoes, leaving them by the front door the walked down the hall, past the staircase and stepped into the doorframe that arched into the sitting room.

"It's me, mom." I murmured reassuringly to the figure sprawled tiredly on the couch.

My mother sat up a bit and turned her head to look at me, apology in her gaze. "I'm sorry about dinner Ayumi. I meant to have it ready for you. I'm exhausted."

I smiled. Any hunger, if it had even been there, I couldn't remember, had fled when I did and so it didn't matter anyway. I would have refused dinner even if it had been prepared. "That's alright." I turned away from the door and moved towards the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

I glanced back. "Just to my room. I have to finish my homework."

"There's left over rice and steak in the fridge." Her tone was worried as if she feared I was upset and hiding it.

"I'll warm some up after I finish my work."

"Alright." Came the surrendering reply and I took that as a dismissal.

Within my room I allowed my bag to slip to the carpeted floor, and sank down on my bed. Would Yuka and Eri still be upset with me? I glanced over at the phone and toyed with the thought of calling them then rejected it. I reached out hands and wrapped arms around my pillow, hugging it against my stomach. The indescribably sting of sorrow nagged at me and I couldn't get rid of it or identify it. It was like a splinter somewhere I couldn't reach and it irritated me and broke my heart at the same time.

A face swam across my thoughts. Smiling and kind, with a hand extended but the face turned slightly away. The smile wasn't for me, it was general. And yet still special.

"Hojo…" The name was whispered but my voice sounded loud to my own ears.

"Taken." The second voice was loud and familiar.

I turned to find Kagome seated in the wicker chair near my closed door. I blinked in surprise, not having heard her enter. She flashed a smile and lifted her hand in a splayed wave. I blushed with embarrassment and rose in surprise, dropping the pillow to my coverlet.

"Did my mom let you up?" I questioned to distract her from what she'd heard.

"Even if he wasn't, you don't really think he'd want you?" Kagome frowned gently and shook her head in an almost pitying manner.

"What?" I took a step forward. "Are you upset with me too Kagome. I didn't mean-"

"Oh shut up." I gasped. "What do I want Hojo for? He's a dolt. I'm just saying you couldn't have him."

"K..Kagome?" This wasn't right. These weren't things Kagome would say. She'd never be this mean, this cruel.

"You love him don't you?" Her tone got soft, quiet, the way Kagome sounded when she was concerned and I almost managed to forget her initial comments. Maybe…

"I do. I'm sorry Kagome! I didn't mean to."

A laugh met my words. "I think it's cute. You thinking you stood a chance against me I mean." She stood up and pushed her dark hair back over one shoulder. "You'll never be pretty. Not the way I am."

For some reason I retreated. The back of my knees hit the foot of my bad and I fell back, sitting down hard on it. Kagome stood over me.

"Does he ever even really see you? You don't exist to him at all. Even when he's right there he's looking right through you. He'll marry someone eventually. If not me then maybe Yuka or Eri. They're at least not completely unfortunate looking."

Somewhere I knew this wasn't Kagome. It wasn't her voice, her body; it wasn't even quite her face. But every time I tried to focus on the difference they seem to blur and I couldn't quite grasp them. Irritation at my failure blended with the sharp pain of her words, which hit home each time, causing my eyes to sting with tears. I felt the sudden clasp of arms around me, one constraining my shoulders and the other gripping my waist. I tried to look down but tears thickened and became a silver curtain I couldn't see through.

A voice murmured soft by my ear and I felt the warm touché of a hand over my heart. For a moment it was comforting and then the warmth heated slowly until it burned. The voice hissed. "Where is it? Where is it?" The burn intensified and spread, made worse by the salty tears that stung my cheeks like shards f glass.

"Hojo." His name escaped me and the burned lessened.

A smile appeared in the tone of the voice. "There it is. The seed of your sin. Your lust. The desire to shine. Make it bloom." I shook my head without meaning to and the voice purred. "You'll never have him unless your brilliance outshines hers."

Hers?

"Who's?" The voice prompted urgently.

Who's? Who's? Kagome's! I can't shine because she steals away any light I might have.

"There! You want to extinguish her light so your own can be seen. That is the flower of your sin."

Something twisted and suddenly I couldn't breath. My mind swam, light headed with the lack of oxygen from my brain. My eyelids became too heavy to bare and I let them lower slowly. Thought fled me, evaporating like steam into the air.

"Too easy. What a magnificent flower." Discord leaned over to burry her nose in the heart of the dark crimson rose in her fingers, brushing her cheek against the silken petals.

"Don't damage it, Discord." Strife cautioned gently.

"I know, I know." She sighed then pressed her fingers against one of the sharp thorns that drew from the rose's emerald stem. Blood welled where the briar pierced white skin, scarlet drop rolling to her fingers tip and fell to splash into the rose's center.

"There." Discord tugged the rose into her breast pocket and crossed her arms turning to look at the slumber girl, sprawled on her bed. "It's up to you to arrange the trigger."

"It shouldn't be too hard." Strife replied with a small shrug.. "Let's go."

"No, not yet." Discord smiled softly. "I want more time."

Strife shrugged and disappeared from the room. Discord stared at the empty air he'd occupied a moment ago before crossing the room and lifting the wicker chair, carrying it over to set by the bedside. She walked fingers over the bed spread and laid h34 bloody fingertip against the girl's sallow cheek.

"For all of me, I'd have you live." Discord tipped her head to the side and blue eyes softened despite the cold smirk on her lips. "But that's no silver raven."

And then she, too, faded.