A/N: More…written very early in the morning – so excuse any mistakes…

Chapter Four

The jumper bay seemed empty and ominous. Elizabeth's eyes fell immediately on the empty spot, where she knew another jumper should be parked. She felt something wrench inside her chest and she stopped, eyes still staring at the empty parking spot.

His sacrifice had been for nothing.

She wished he was there, he always knew what to do, always made the right decisions. Thinking back she knew she should have trusted him more. Being who he was he didn't always respect authority, but he usually made good decisions. At the time when he'd disobeyed her decision she'd felt betrayed, felt as though he didn't trust her.

But she knew now, she'd known then…he trusted her.

But there was no way John Sheppard could not protect someone, it was his duty. He'd save anyone he thought deserved it. Especially Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth are you coming?"

Rodney pulled her out of her thoughts. She realised she was still staring at the empty jumper park. Drawing herself back to reality she turned around to face the two men.

"Yes," she said, walking past them and into the nearest jumper.

She could feel her insides falling to pieces. She couldn't take much more of this. Of loss, of losing and of the knowledge that John wasn't coming back.

She hadn't even realised when she'd grown such a dependence on him being there. Why did she have to go and be so stupid? She'd never wanted to develop feelings for anyone on Atlantis, she'd made that decision when she'd left home. It was half the reason she hadn't broken it off with Simon then.

Simon had been her way of stopping herself from giving in.

But it hadn't worked. She'd felt some kind of strange connection to John Sheppard from the moment she'd met him, and now it had strengthened into some much more…

"Dr Weir…is everything all right?" Beckett's voice came through her thoughts.

She refocused her eyes on the figure standing in front of her, a worried expression written all over his face.

"I will be," she replied.

She walked past him to the front of the jumper and sat down in the seat behind the pilots. Beckett took his seat in the pilot's position and McKay in the co-pilots. None of them talked, it was as though a silent agreement had been made.

They were to head for the mainland and hide there until…

"Atlantis this is the Daedalus are you there?"

Elizabeth immediately switched into diplomat roll. She moved forward and pressed the button on the radio.

"Daedalus this is Dr Weir, reading you," she said.

"Where the hell have you been Dr? We've been trying to hail you for twenty minutes at least," the voice came back.

"I'm guessing our communications have been disabled…we're currently in a ship planning to head towards the mainland…"

"The men we sent through the Stargate?"

Elizabeth paused. "Dead."

There was a pause from the other end. "All of them?"

"I'm sure there are still some roaming the base, but not for long," Elizabeth replied.

"Understood," there was a slight pause before, "head towards the mainland as you planned we will contact you when this is all over."

The radio fell silent again. Elizabeth leaned back and sat in her prior seat.

"Should I go?" Beckett asked, looking to her for instructions.

She nodded.

The Daedalus wasn't going to defeat the Wraith hive ship.

"Wait…" she said.

With that she stood up and bolted out of the puddlejumper. She returned a few minutes later, pushing a large trolley. On it stood something which made both Beckett and Rodney gape at her.

The remaining bomb.

Neither of them had heard a word since the Wraith had disappeared, murmuring of a newly arrived ship. Ford felt a weight slowly press against his shoulder. He looked down to find Teyla's head resting there.

He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. He hadn't even noticed her etching closer to him in the half hour or so since the Wraith had disappeared. He slowly moved his hand down to touch hers lightly.

She took it and gripped it tightly.

He suddenly realised how afraid she was. Teyla never showed this side of her. But here she was gripping his hand and leaning against him. He swallowed his own fear of being experimented on by the Wraith and squeezed her hand slightly, attempting to calm her.

"I am afraid," she said quietly in response.

"I know," he replied. "Me too."

He couldn't die. Yet he was afraid of what would happen if he ascended. He didn't know what ascension was like…

But he knew they had power. And couldn't that help him defend Atlantis from the Wraith?

He closed his eyes again, the image of his sister popping into his head. He'd wanted to see her for so many years, and she'd been right there, only to be yanked away from within his grasp. He could see her again, if he walked through that tunnel.

And his parents.

All of them…

But then there was his friends at Atlantis. He had to save them if he could, had to save the city, had to protect Earth.

And then there was Elizabeth.

He wanted so badly to see her again. It wasn't until he was here, faced with the decision of never seeing her again that he realised exactly how much he wanted to. Although she could not see him, he would be able to watch her, make sure she was safe.

He wanted to run to her, hold her in his arms and hug her until…as long as he could. Wanted to show her how much he cared about her. It wasn't that he was in love with her…was it?

He opened his eyes, the electrical jolt of emotion now running within his chest overwhelming him. He couldn't possible be in love with her, he would know if he was.

Right?

Or maybe that's what this was…

He'd spent so long hiding from emotions, distancing himself from people. The same reason he'd defy orders to turn back and save a friend or colleague was the reason that he made sure those friends or colleagues never became too close to him.

Sure he'd dated girls, but he'd always made sure he kept away from emotional attachment.

He couldn't lose anyone again…

He stood up.

"I'm ready…" he said.

"You are not," the boy said, appearing next to him.

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"You do not believe yourself worthy of ascension," the boy said.

John felt rage build up inside himself, but he quickly calmed it down.

"Of course I don't," he muttered, sitting back down underneath his tree and closing his eyes.

What the hell did the small Ancient boy want him to exactly do? He'd made his decision…

But apparently it wasn't as easy as that.

A/N: I know its short! But I just thought I'd get this up tonight while I was in the mood.