Chapter Six

"Elizabeth…"

She turned around. She was no longer in the puddlejumper, instead she found herself standing somewhere, a park. It was void of people. It was an evening in fall, the sun on its way to setting behind the multi-coloured trees.

He was there.

"What…" she stopped, unable to form a sentence.

"I need you to know some things," he said.

She was completely in shock, staring at the man in front of her. She knew it wasn't real, couldn't be real, it wasn't possible for him to be standing there…unless…

"You're ascended," she stated, surprised at her calm.

"This is where I can make a difference for now," he replied.

She felt shaky, not quite sure of herself. Somehow standing here, wherever here was, unnerved her. But he was there. She felt a surge of emotion towards the man in front of her. Feeling the need to say something she spoke quietly.

"John…I…"

"Elizabeth, I need you remember this…" he paused, making sure for a moment that she was listening. "Ford and Teyla are on a Wraith hive ship, they're heading for a planet named Fergona, the Athonians will know it…you have to save them, the Wraith are planning on experimenting on them, in the way Teyla's people once were, in the last culling…"

Elizabeth took this all in at once. Immediately switching into her leadership role she pushed aside all emotion, ready for action. If she could save Ford and Teyla its what she had to do…

"Thank you, John," she said. "I'll get right on it…"

Ready for him to leave, less emotion ridden now that she knew in a way he was safe and that she had a task to focus her energy on.

"Elizabeth…" he said, his tone changed, it was softer, more careful, cautious even.

"Yes?" she replied.

He moved closer to her, moving his hand and brushing the back of it against her cheek, pushing her wavy hair back behind her ears. She felt the burst of emotion come back. Why was he doing this? Did he want to make it more difficult for her?

"John, don't," she said. "I can't…"

"I need you to know Elizabeth," he said, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder, lightly touching the base of her neck. "I'm going to do something, and I don't know what's going to happen to me…but its against the rules, just being here is against the rules, so the reaction of the others can't be good…"

She opened her mouth to speak but he shook his head slightly, signalling for her to remain silent.

"I want you to be safe, Elizabeth…and I want you to be happy," he said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her forehead.

She felt her insides melt away, her internal barriers folding into themselves. How could she ever be happy without him there? As he pulled away from her she followed him, standing up slightly to place her mouth against his. He seemed as surprised as she was at her action.

After a few moments he began to move his mouth against hers, at first slowly, cautious of what he was doing. Hesitant even. As she responded to him he deepened the kiss. Feeling his tongue working its way into her mouth she did the same. It had developed into a kiss of passion, of goodbye. She had never felt so much emotion in one kiss, so much untold, so much realised, so much that could never be…

Elizabeth wanted to cry, to hold him forever, to bury herself against his chest and wait until it was all over. But she knew that was impossible. She felt as though she should pull back, stop the kiss now. But it was too late, she'd already shown him all her emotion, emotion she never shown anyone, not even Simon. She wanted him to understand what his loss had meant to her.

He obviously sensed her inner battle because he pulled back, staring into her eyes. His hands were placed on either side of her face.

"I have to go," he said, quietly, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I know," she replied.

"Good luck," he said.

"You too…"

And then he was gone. She was left alone in the dream-like world. Slowly she sat down, head in hands.

"I love you," she whispered to herself, hoping that somehow, out there, he could hear her.

Rodney watched his sleeping friend. She looked peaceful now, curled up in a ball in the puddlejumper chair. It didn't look like a particularly comfortable position, but he couldn't bring himself to wake her and suggest she move.

Earlier she had looked worried, pained, but now her face had a strange look of calm, as if her worries had been settled.

He felt for her, there must have been a lot of pressure on her in the past few days. The loss of friends. Being stripped of her status as head of Atlantis, but not of her responsibilities.

"Is she asleep?"

Rodney nodded slightly. "She was crying before, silently, didn't know anyone was watching…but she's asleep now. She said something before, I think it was 'John'…"

"This hasn't been easy…" Carson replied. "For any of us."

"Especially for her," Rodney added, showing Carson that he understood his statement.

She moved and the two men fell silent, almost aware that she might not be quite as asleep as she seemed.

"I love you," she mumbled.

Rodney looked at Carson, shock written on his face. That was definitely not what he'd expected to hear from a sleeping Elizabeth's mouth. Carson didn't return the look of shock, instead his eyes remained focused on the Atlantis leader, a look that could only be described as sympathetic on his face.

"I had no idea…" Rodney said quietly.

"Sometimes the things people say in their sleep don't always relate to real life," Carson interjected.

"Usually 'I love you' is something you don't say, awake or asleep, unless you mean it," Rodney shot back.

"You think she's talking to him?" Carson asked.

The both continued watching her for a few moments. She stirred again, but this time she slowly opened her eyes. Finding the two men staring at her she immediately stood up, straightening herself into leader mode.

"I'm sorry, I must have dozed off," she replied, smiling slightly at them.

Carson smiled slightly back, but Rodney's face remained thoughtful. He hadn't realised how deeply her feelings for Sheppard ran. Everything made sense. Especially why she was so utterly and completely devastated at his loss. Not that Rodney wasn't, but there was something different about the way she had reacted.

Suddenly a confused, thoughtful look crossed Elizabeth

"Carson…have you got pen and paper?" she asked, creasing her forehead.

He fumbled around in his pocket for a few moments before producing a scrap piece of paper.

"I don't have a pen," he said.

Rodney presented Elizabeth with a pen, a cocky smile appearing on his face. "I on the other hand always carry one with me…"

She took it, without even a thank you.

"Always here to please," Rodney added.

Still she ignored him, scribbling quickly on the piece of paper. When she'd finished she folded the piece of paper and placed it in her jacket pocket.

"OK…maybe it's just me…but I'm extremely curious what you just wrote down," Rodney said.

"We need to contact the Athosians," Elizabeth said.

"Well for that…we would need the Stargate – and we don't exactly have access…" Rodney stopped as Elizabeth punched the radio.

"Colonel Caldwell what's your position?" she asked.

"Not going well, Doctor," he replied.

"We're heading back your way to help out," Elizabeth said.

"Negative, Doctor, it would be suicide," Caldwell said.

She chose not to reply, instead nodding to Carson to sit down and start the engine. He did so, no questions asked. Something inside her had snapped, she'd gone from one extreme of Elizabeth Weir to the other in a matter of seconds.

"Dr Weir, again I say, do not return to Atlantis," Caldwell said.

"Colonel, this is my city and I intend to protect it," she said as Carson lifted the jumper into the air.

There was a pause. "If you must…" he replied.

Rodney took his seat, still watching Elizabeth curiously. She had a look of determination on her face and for a moment he wondered what had made her change demeanours so suddenly…

Teyla felt the pain that jarred through her bodies as her knees hit the hard floor before her. The Wraith still had hold on the back of her neck. She attempted to shake it free but found it almost impossible.

"You are the Athosian who connected to the Wraith…" it wasn't a question but a statement.

Teyla looked up at the Wraith who stood before her. It was smiling slightly, but not the kind of smile which gave her a warm feeling, it was more the smile of someone who knew they were in control of a situation, one that instilled coldness inside of her.

"And your friend is a warrior of Earth," the evil smile was now a full blown grin. "Well then he is the one we must use to retain the knowledge we need to use the Atlantis gate to get to Earth, to get to a feeding ground richer than any we have seen for millions of year…"

"Leave him alone," Teyla snapped.

The Wraith began to walk slowly around Teyla, circling her. She kept her eyes forward. Inside she was shaking, afraid. Here sheknelt, at the mercy of her most feared enemy, the one she'd been told horror stories about as long as she could remember. She could see the Wraith moving out of the corner of her eye, she flickered her eyes to it for a moment, watching as its foot landed on the ground and again as it lifted up again.

She moved her eyes back to the front. She couldn't let the Wraith see her fear.

"Now why would you care so much what happened to an Earth human?" the Wraith asked.

"They are my friends," she replied, at the same time feeling the Wraith tracing its long fingernail across her back.

She refrained from squirming, moving away from the Wraith. Instead she swallowed her fear again, hid the urge the run, to give up and break down into tears. She could not let it see her true emotions.

"I see…" the Wraith replied, stopping to her right.

It grabbed her left shoulder and jerk her up, turning her around to face it. She stared up into the Wraith's eyes, determined to prove she was not afraid.

"Or maybe it's more than that," the Wraith observed. "I wonder…if we were to bring him out here and torture him if you would be so composed."

She chose not to reply, but she knew that fear flickered across her face for a few moments before she could hide it again. The Wraith grinned.

"Yes, human emotion seems to be a powerful weapon against your kind, much better than merely forcing the knowledge from you, for that works only on the weak-minded," the Wraith said.

Teyla again chose not to reply. The Wraith tightened its grip on her shoulder, digging its fingernails in. She winced in pain. Above all that the feeling of the Wraith holding her shoulder was creating a coldness inside her deeper than anything she had ever felt in her life.

Suddenly she felt a jerk, and looking over the Wraith's shoulder to the window she noticed they had dropped out of hyperspace.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"I believe you call it Fergona…" the Wraith replied.

Teyla looked at the planet again. Fergona was the first planet thatevery Athosianchild was taught the symbols to. So they could avoid it. Never go there. The few who had dared had never returned.

It was the home planet of the Wraith…