Disclaimer: see chapter I

A/N: Many thanks for your reviews!!

Grey

Chapter VII

"I still wished you would come with us, Hermione," Ginny packed the last of her things she wanted to take home with her and closed her trunk. She turned to watch her silent friend, who was sitting patiently on the bed next to Ginny's.

"I know, Gin, but this year I just don't feel like celebrating Christmas." Ginny huffed at Hermione's answer and levitated her trunk of her bed.

"You shouldn't celebrate Christmas alone. It's just not right."

"I won't be alone," was Hermione's weak reply.

Ginny snorted. "Oh, please, like any of your friends are staying! There aren't even that many Gryffindors staying and those that are, are first and second year. You don't even know them that well!"

"Really, Ginny, it's all right! I'm not in a festive mood, that's all."

"I've noticed that! What's bothering you, Hermione? You've been preoccupied lately... I know something is troubling you. You have become so silent and withdrawn. What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it? And don't give me that crap about homework and studying. I think it's more a diversion than the real problem. I just know that whatever bothers you goes much deeper than just stupid schoolwork... Is it about Ron? Harry? I know things are a bit strained between you and Ron. And about Harry... Well, he's been keeping everyone out... But that doesn't give them an excuse. It's not fair the way they treating you. Most will probably won't notice it, or care, but I do."

"But sometimes things like this just happen. I mean, people change and you can't do anything about it. We grow up and sometimes it means growing apart."

"That's crap! Of course, we're all growing up but does that mean Ron can go and ignore you or even insult you? The prat! What I mean is that your arguing have changed from just some, uh, severe disagreement to real, hurtful fights. And I'm in the dark, just as you, what has caused this sudden change in him. And then there is Harry, who just uses you, under the mom of friendship, to take his frustration out on you! That boy needs a kick under the arse. Of course I still feel bad because of Sirius death, but we've all tried to be there for him... We've tried, Hermione, but we can't just be his punching bags!"

"You're exaggerating, Ginny." Hermione said softly but avoided Ginny's eyes. "And it's also my fault that we're fighting; I'm bossy and sometimes a bit too focused on school and rules and that stuff. Besides, I haven't spent much time with them lately. I have been the one ignoring them!"

"Maybe you should spend some more time with them... Maybe not. They don't seem to miss you that much, now do they?" Ginny said harshly; she didn't want to hurt her friend even further but she wanted Hermione to see reason: it wasn't only her fault. Ginny was in truth furious with Ron! He knew, just as Ginny knew, Hermione had a crush on him for a time now. Ginny thought, no, knew, he had felt the same for Hermione. So why was he suddenly flirting with Lavender?

And why was Harry being so callous in the way he was treating Hermione and her? Ginny could handle it better than her friend. Hermione was just about ready to do just everything for him! And he treated her at times like she was just a nuisance. She had said it before: Hermione was just too careful with Harry's feelings. Maybe what he needed was someone who pointed him at reality.

Hermione looked up at Ginny's fervent remark. Hermione's face fell as she admitted it: "Sometimes, maybe, it appears so. But maybe, I don't miss them that much either. And maybe that's just wrong but nowadays I have other things to worry about."

"That's just your defence mechanism; bury yourself in your books and studies... Though I have to admit I'm starting to worry about it; you're spending an awful lot of time on studying."

Hermione decided to appease some of her friend's worries. After all, she was allowed to tell her this: "To be honest, I've been spending a lot of time in the infirmary, helping Madam Pomfrey. You know I may want to become a Mediwitch? I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't want to brag about it." It was a lame excuse and they both knew it. Though Ginny didn't seem to mind.

"How cool!!" Hermione grinned at the Muggle saying. Ginny grinned back but then her face fell. "We've been so busy lately. That's why I was looking forward to spending some time with you. I assumed when you told me your parents would be away with Christmas that you would spend it with us. What happened to change your parents' mind? I thought they were looking forward at having you home with Christmas?"

"Things have been a bit hectic at home lately. I guess they wanted to spend some time together and relax." Hermione shrugged.

"They could have told you sooner. I know you're disappointed."

"I guess it just slipped their mind." Hermione tried not to show how deeply disappointed she actually was.

"This Christmas isn't going to be much fun, I think. Now I don't have another female to team up with. Did you hear that Ron and Harry plan on spending New Years Eve at Lavender? I don't really like her. She's an airhead. And the way she gushes over Firenze... Yuck. That she has time left to fool around with my stupid brother! He should be with you." That last statement came out quite vehemently.

"With me?!" Hermione exclaimed, a fiery blush creeping up her face. She averted her face, trying to cover up her embarrassment. "You're delirious," Hermione groaned at seeing Ginny's knowing smirk.

"Ha! Admit it! You fancy my brother... Why, I just can't understand." She sighed as if she doubted Hermione's sanity. "But hey, I mean, if you're willing to take him off my hands, please do so!!" The humour quickly left Ginny as she watched her friend's face. Though Hermione tried to act nonchalant and indifferent, she still couldn't hide the hurt caused by the disappointment and rejection she was feeling.

"I really thought... Well, he acted like he fancied me too and we did seem to fight a bit less. I thought we were finally beyond the stage of stupid awkwardness and violent denial." Hermione snorted and crossed her arms. "I guess I was wrong, or I have misunderstood the whole situation. It's fine though; if he wants to snog Lavender, he should go right ahead. Maybe... Maybe it's better this way. Maybe we are just too different to work out." Hermione tried to sound convinced and calm about the matter but the slight tremor in her voice told both her and Ginny that she had more trouble dealing with Ron's rejection than she had let herself believe.

"Oh, Hermione..." Ginny sighed and sat down next to her, putting an arm around Hermione's shoulders. "You know you can tell me everything. Anytime. You were there for me after my first year. You always just listened to me and never judged. I know you think little of it but it really helped me to be able to tell everything without being regarded with suspicions or worries about my sanity. And I'm going to be such a friend for you now."

"Ginny, I'm sorry, but I can't talk about everything I'm dealing with nowadays... In time I will."

"That's all right. Just don't forget to talk about your worries sometimes; it helps, you know."

"You better be going. I'll bet the others are waiting for you to finish up here."

"Fine. Fine! I'm going!" Ginny hugged Hermione tightly and jumped off the bed. She swished her wand and her trunk hovered obediently behind her. "Bye, Hermione. I'll see you later!"

"Have fun, Gin! Bye!" She followed her friend out of her dormitory and waved as Ginny disappeared down the staircase. She heard her hollering to her friends that she was ready, earning several deep sighs and one "Finally!!" from her brother.

Hermione didn't follow her down into the common room. She had already said goodbye to her friends. It had been a somewhat uncomfortable parting with Ron and Harry. They had been cheerful and had said it was a pity she wasn't coming with them. At hearing them say that, she had wanted to ask them (or maybe she should have asked Lavender herself) why no one had breathed a word about Lavender's New Years Eve's party to her. The only conclusion her mind insisted on, though she refused to listen to it, was that they had forgotten about her. Or, an even more deeply buried part of her mind said, they just didn't want to invite her... She again refused to listen that part of her mind. It only made her feel worse.

It fed her feelings of insecurity though; had she become such a boring, bossy and belligerent person that even her closest friends rather did not want to spend time with her outside classes?

So she had wished them a Merry Christmas with a lump in her throat before fleeing up to Ginny's dormitory. She had given her presents to Ginny, certain that she would pass them along for her. She hoped they all liked them, though some weren't the ones she originally had in mind.

She listened as the students filed out of the common room, everyone in high spirits, happy to go home for a short time.

She slowly trudged up to her room and sat down listlessly on her bed. Staring out of her window she couldn't appreciate the beautiful winter wonderland for once. She felt cold, and alone. It was her own fault though.

Crookshanks jumped suddenly on her lap, startling her out of her gloomy thoughts.

"Mreow?"

"Oh, no. You'll have to wait for Christmas morning to get your presents."

"Mreeoww??"

"Begging won't help you, mister."

The large cat snorted and made himself comfortable on her lap.

"I have to get up sometime, Crooks," she grinned at the insulted look on the cat's face.

"I see. Still haven't dealt with the fact my life doesn't resolve around yours... A pity. Now get off. I have to go to the infirmary. There is still one person in this place that doesn't insult or avoids me..." She said with a touch of sadness. "Though I wish he could. Things should go back to normal, then, and I wouldn't feel compelled to help the little ferret... And I could stop spending so much time with him and start spending more with my friends. Then, I could try to get back to my normal self... No more of that strange, uncertain, doubting feelings about myself... I never thought the day would come I was looking forward to being called Mudblood by Malfoy..."

Crookshanks let out a indignant hiss at being put softly down on the floor. He looked up at his mistress and waited impatiently for her to do something. She was acting strange lately. He watched carefully as she grabbed her bag and walked out of her dormitory. He decided to follow her as she could certainly use some company in the large and now empty castle.

He accompanied her during her slow walk, letting the soft words of her tales wash over him. She always told him everything and he was quite proud of his position of being her confidant.

When they reached the door of the place she called 'infirmary' she stopped. He gave her a look, waiting for her to open the doors. She didn't expect him to do that for her, now did she?

"I'm not sure familiars are allowed inside, Crooks."

The cat shook his head in disbelief and walked away with his head and tail held high. Sometimes, humans had such silly notions.

Dumbledore and Lucius Malfoy watched Hermione as she nervously adjusted her robes. She presented a picture of a pretty, young woman dressed as she was in sober but well-fitting robes. However, her shaking hands betrayed her anxiety.

"Voldemort took the bait and Bellatrix Lestrange is more than eager." Lucius had a hint of anticipation on his face and his eyes held an almost feverish eagerness. "Though Snape tried to delude Voldemort, after some pointed questions he could do nothing else but divulge the information about Miss Granger's little trip. Voldemort smirked at the Ministry's security and at your own safety precautions. Another prove that he's becoming reckless and impatient, too. He's eager to strike you and Potter where it hurts. In the past he would have been more cautious. Even though Snape implied it could be very well possible that McGonagall or Mad Eye Moody would go with her, it didn't even make him reconsider his brass decision to give Bellatrix permission to try and capture her."

"It's a good sign. Apparently, our little plan is sounding innocent enough to even fool the paranoid Voldemort and his followers."

"Indeed. I will take my leave now. I'll see you at the Ministry."

"Wait a moment, please." Dumbledore's face had taken on a solemn and sharp look. He was watching the younger wizard closely and finally spoke up: "There is still something bothering me... Before you leave, I want your Wizarding Oath on the safety of Miss Granger. I want nothing to happen that could endanger her safety any more than the risk she is already taking." The underlying message was clear. "Her safety goes before your revenge."

Lucius fixed Dumbledore with a hard stare. His face was cold and emotionless, but an intense heath seethed deep in his icy grey eyes. "My Wizarding Oath, Dumbledore, you have. Nothing will happen to the girl. Miss Granger has become... invaluable. I would do nothing to endanger it."

"It must be terrifying lonely to see people only as tools, to be used and discarded at your whims."

Lucius let out a harsh sounding chuckle at that, making Hermione turn and watch the two wizards with curiosity. Lucius' eyes lingered on the small frown she wore.

"Please, spare me your attempts at trying to understand me, Dumbledore. Lonely? With the few persons that are worthy to me I am content. Yes, happy even, if that's what you want to hear. Though my concept of happiness is probably very different from yours. Just as different as to how I judge people worthy. My admiration isn't easily earned. But when one does... When one proves worthy... Those people I will keep."

"Miss Granger is worthy of your protection though." Dumbledore remarked, seemingly quite content with his conclusion.

"In this case she is." Lucius stated. He hadn't taken his eyes off Hermione, who had started to fidget under the weight of his stare. It never failed to amuse him seeing her struggle with her unease and fear of him.

Dumbledore nodded. "It is a comfort to actually hear you say this. I am feeling quite unsettled about this whole scheme of ours. For once, I can't do nothing more than hope for a favourable outcome. You might not show it, but you are very well aware of what you are gambling with. If this fails and Voldemort comes to know..."

"I'll be his number one on his 'to kill' list. He doesn't take betrayal nor defiance very well." Lucius answered grimly, though he wasn't very impressed with the risk. He didn't count on a failure. He never did. He would succeed.

"Though I have to wait at the sidelines, I have faith in your and Miss Granger's abilities. Though, it is hard for me to stand aside." A dry chuckle escaped the Headmaster and a bemused expression had settled on his face.

"Next time we'll be sure to include you in the action, Dumbledore." Lucius snapped at the older wizard.

It made Dumbledore's face drop. "Let's hope it will stay at a minimum," Dumbledore said quietly, his voice full of worries.

"My thoughts exactly," Lucius hissed and walked to the edge of Hogwarts' grounds. He nodded to Hermione as he passed her. The girl was pale and silent, watching him with big, brown eyes. However, he could read the determination from her face. Indeed, he did not have any doubts about their success. She would do wonderfully.

He reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and disapparated. Now he only had to be patient.

Her footsteps sounded almost eerily in the empty corridors. Hermione had noticed the unusual silence in the otherwise busy Ministry. She had only encountered a few personnel, who had all cheerily wished her a Merry Christmas. They seemed preoccupied with the upcoming holidays.

Her unease increased with every step she took into the direction of the Floo Network Authority office. It manifested itself as a growing, nagging stomach ache. She felt like she had to throw up.

But she stubbornly walked on. She was determined to go through with it. She entered the Floo office and took a quick look around, taking in the spacious room. There were a couple of chairs, a low table with a couple of magazines and newspapers. Then there were three counters of which one was occupied by a very old wizard.

"Good day, Miss... Granger! Yes! Albus said you would come by today." The wizard smiled friendly, giving his wrinkled face a surprisingly lively look. His stark white hair was covered mostly by a trim, purple hat, which appeared to slide off his head at any moment. Hermione smiled back, feeling suddenly more at ease.

"Good day, Mr Cenex. If Professor Dumbledore told you I would come, you probably already know I would like to have my house connected to the Floo Transportation Network."

"Ah, yes! Of course! Well, it's no trouble at all. Albus gave me the details about your special situation. So don't worry, it will turn out fine! Your fireplace will be carefully monitored. Also, we will keep your connection silent. The less people know about it, the better, right? It is indeed a good method of escape; on this point I agree with you. Now, I'll go to the back to file out the papers..." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "I wish you good luck! I hope you'll capture that woman. I will be at the back, on stand by, as it is, so if something does go wrong, don't hesitate to call for me! I'm maybe not so quick on my feet anymore but I learned duelling from your own Headmaster! I am wondering why he's involving a young woman without proper Auror training such as yourself." He gave her a worried look.

She hastened to reassure him, though she didn't feel the conviction with which she spoke: "I'm just bait. Someone else will take on Bellatrix Lestrange."

"She won't come alone." Mr Cenex said with concern.

"I know. They will be dealt with..." The worry on her face made the old wizard sigh.

"Many things can go wrong. Don't hesitate to call me if you need help."

"I promise." That seemed to appease him a bit and he moved slowly to the back offices. When the door closed behind him, she shuddered. The sudden silence chilled her and she could hardly stand still. She was shaking and the waiting soon became almost unbearable...

A/N: evil grin The next chapter will be up soon!

Review Responses!!

Donroth: Yes, I can be evil! And thank you very much for offering to be my beta. I will gladly take you up on it!! Could you leave me your email-adress at the adress posted at my profile page, or could you mail it to ? I understand your reasons to keep it secret, as I had to change mine several times due to spamming. I promise you I will use it only to send you the chapters. If you know another way of contacting each other, please let me know! I'm just very happy you want to be my beta, as you have given me sound advice since the beginning of this story! Thanks again!

Kellalor: Indeed, Ron can be such an idiot at times! I can use his temper quite nicely in my story!!

Belladonnaessence: I promise you that some of his gentleness will be bestowed on Hermione later on in this story!! I picture him as a man who hardly shows affection and certainly not in the way as other people do... That's why I like writing him!

Saiyachick: You give me far too much credit! You know what, I'll give you a little taste of the sequel! You have always been encouraging me so I think it's time you get a reward!!

Paprika: And here it is!! Do you like it?

Harry Hippie: Thank you very much! You're learning Latin? I know it's hard but once you'll get the basics down it'll get easier. And when you start reading work of well-known writers like Ceasar, Plinius sr/jr and Seneca you'll get used to their style and it will become fun! Good luck!

Wackoramaco87: Here's another chapter for you to read and I will put up the next chapter soon!

Anni: Really? Good! I'm happy you enjoy reading this fic!

Shabopo: Just wait and see. It will take a while but they will get together, I promise!! I just don't see them throw themselves at each other and that's why I developed something that sounds a bit more reasonable to me! Please be patient and I'll give you some nice LM/HG interaction!

Athena Linborn: .... Wow! Thanks so much for reviewing me! And I will hold you to your deal! Don't mind your friends in this case; I know the pairing could never happen in the normal story line and perhaps that only makes a greater challenge in writing a plausible story in which they do get together! I know my grammar isn't that good and I would love your help! Thanks again for reviewing me!!