Summary: After six years have passed and Hermione and Ron still haven't realized that they like each other, Harry realizes that, with the help of a joke shop and a few drink glasses, he can give them a little push.
Rating: PG (may change to PG-13)
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter characters and previous plot belong to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot.

Love Plus Four
Chapter One : Just Like Before

Harry sighed as he pulled himself up from the bed, knowing that today was the first day of his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Turning to open the window, he pulled Hedwig in – she was already sweltering from the early morning heat. (Little Whinging was having a heat wave, which – as stated in the Daily Prophet – was possibly induced by the large number of burnings of Muggle neighborhoods, believed to be caused by You-Know-Who or the mass number of supporters who had popped up when news of his return was widely acknowledged by the Wizarding public.) He stared at his exhausted owl, realizing that she had no less than three letters attached to her leg. He took all three and first opened the one from Hermione. It read:
Dear Harry,
Summer is almost over! Ron seemed depressed about this, but personally, I am not. I can't wait for my N.E.W.T. classes! (Even though I haven't decided what job I'll train for, I'm looking into wizard-Muggle relations, or even a career as an Auror.
Well, it'll be fun to see you again, and I expect you'll think so too – seeing as you've been stuck with the Dursleys all summer. (They seem quite dreadful – although I expect warnings from the Order could have made them slightly more tolerable.) It's too bad you weren't allowed to leave your house, but perhaps things will be better next year. (Ron refused to come visit without you; he said it would be too odd. Am I really that boring?)
Well, I'll be seeing you soon!
Love from
Hermione
Harry sighed, thinking about the end of last year. Something was still tugging at him. What if he's still there? What if he's just beyond the veil? He couldn't bring himself to think about Sirius any longer, so he began to reread the letter.

Hermione seemed to mention Ron whenever a new topic came up. Grinning, he knew that Ron and Hermione were still being oblivious to their feelings for each other. If most everyone knew, then why didn't they acknowledge that they could understand their own actions and realize that they liked each other? If they couldn't comprehend this fact, then everyone would be subject to eternal torture by never-ending fights between two confused teenagers arguing about the many (or, in Hermione's case, few) things they didn't know from their short, affection-deprived lives (as their lack of love was due to the fact that the knowledge of the general Hogwarts public – excluding said two - that they were off-limits, despite the future couple's dis-acknowledgement or un-knowingness – if that was humanly possible – of their hidden undying love for each other).

In Harry's point of view, this was a near-hopeless case.

Anyway, Harry realized that despite any impending problems (such as the fact that he still hadn't read the results of last year's O.W.L. tests), he had, along with anyone else who wanted to permanently retain their sanity (which would otherwise be in jeopardy due to never-ending fights over why the style of Hermione's hair during the second task while she was underwater indicated that she was an undercover spy for Viktor Krum and was continuing to deceive them by informing Krum of the approximate number of twigs in Harry's Firebolt; or how it had taken Ron 3.5 years to realize that Hermione was, indeed, one of the female gender; or what the proper pronunciation of "fellytone" was), to do all in his power to get Ron and Hermione together, whether they liked it (or knew it) or not.

But first he had to read the post.

In letter number two his hopes for a temporary escape from waiting for a year of informing his best friends (one of whom was the smartest witch in their year) that they were perfect for each other and everyone but them knew it so they had better start compromising that the real way to say the name of the Muggle method of long-distance communication was "fellyphone" or they would have a year of food produced by Fred and George to look forward to at breakfast, were crushed when he discovered that it was from a certain redhead 'fellytone'-lobbyer. With a sigh of déjà vu, Harry ripped open the letter, which he read in about 20 seconds –
Harry-
Hermione and I had a row. (She was blathering on about how the TriWizard tournament was supposed to bring the schools together, instead of someone accusing someone else about following the friendly spirit of the contest. I don't have any idea as to what she's talking about.)
Anyway, see you on the train.
-Ron
Harry just rolled his eyes, knowing that the task would probably be much harder than he imagined.

So much for sanity.

Realizing that there was another letter, he tossed the first two aside and tore open the last. Scanning it, he discovered that its purpose was to inform him that members of the Order were to arrive at his house (Harry checked his watch) . . five minutes ago! Hearing a rather impatient tap at the window (which he assumed was coming from another owl), he hurriedly chucked all three letters into the dustbin. Buckling his trunk, he then inserted Hedwig into her cage and put it and the trunk by his open door. Finally, he put on his jacket and turned to the window to answer the knocking. To his horror, he discovered Dudley at the window (supported by the sloping roof of the first-floor's extension), dressed in nothing other than an apparent wig of Lucius Malfoy's long blond hair and Mrs. Figg's robes, complete with carpet slippers. Eyes widening, he dashed to and threw open the window.

"Dudley?!" he shouted, worried about his cousin's presence at the window along with his newly-found cross-dressing attire.

Luckily (for Harry's respiratory health), he let out a long breath as the platinum-blonde mane retreated rapidly into a pudgy skull, leaving about three inches of spiked bubblegum hair in its place. Meanwhile, it was Dudley's grapefruit diet all over again as the tubby face seemed to be revolted at something placed in front of him – or perhaps he was trying to think. In any case, Harry was relieved as he found that it was Tonks, not a newly-garbed Dudley, approaching him at the moment.

"Tonks!" he cried out in surprise.

"Harry Potter!" she shouted back. "Glad to know you didn't confuse me with your cousin."

He crossed his eyes, replying, "Don't worry – I don't think anyone with the name Nymphadora could be confused with Dudley."

Tonks stuck out her tongue as she climbed through the window. "You never know," she said sarcastically, stumbling over the Muggle newspaper that was scattered about the floor – Harry had been reading it the night before.

"What's this?" she exclaimed, discovering the still picture across the center of the paper, which resembled an American baseball player, seemingly about to hit the ball. "Why isn't he on a broom?" she asked, before rambling, "And shouldn't that bat be wider? And the bludger bigger? And why – isn't – he – moving?!"

Harry stared at her, afraid of her next move. Not about to explain the concept of "baseball" (which would likely be met with frustrated cries of, "Why don't they just summon the ball into their mitts?"), he shrugged.

"Un-evolved form of Quidditch," he replied simply, before closing and locking the window and exiting the room, lugging the trunk downstairs. He faintly heard her reply.

"Wow, Muggles are so far behind us... I obviously have no tolerance for the lack of their intelligence in our world. You would think that they would at least have the decency to allow their pictures to move – it must be tough staying still all the time! Well, I guess I can't blame them for not being magical, but... Ergh, I always knew Muggle Studies was a boring and pointless class." Apparently realizing that Harry was gone, she, too, left the room, taking his owl with her., "C'mon, wighead – ouch! What was that for?! Bloody owl, the Muggles must be letting their stupidity rub off on her. Can't even recognize her own name!"

Harry grinned, seeing Remus' face through the window of the door. Assuring Lupin that the Dursleys were at a story convention ("It's where they write about pixies and magic and that stuff – they think it's all fiction, though."), he quickly wrote a note that consisted of, "Gone to school, be back next summer. –Harry", he allowed the (former) professor in. Lupin was carrying a ticket stub, labeled Platform Nine-and-Three-quarters. Meanwhile, Tongs levitated the birdcage downstairs. Harry took it as Lupin handed her the ticket and lugged Harry's trunk to them. With a firm grip on Hedwig's cage with his left hand, Harry reached out and took hold of the ticket as Lupin did the same. As the clock struck eleven, the three of them were instantly transported to the hallway of the Hogwarts Express.

"Morphkey," Lupin explained quickly. "It changes as does its preset destination."

Hearing footsteps, Harry released the ticket, which had now become a letter addressed to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Taking his trunk, he stared at the two. "See you," he said dully.

Tonks waved apologetically with her free hand as the two disappeared at 11:01. Shuffling his belongings around, he realized that the footsteps were accompanied by voices – arguing voices.

"Harry won't have missed the train!"

"But what if something happened?"

"What if something hasn't? What if he's waiting for us right – " Harry watched as Ron and Hermione turned the corner, "– here."

Hermione gaped at him before tackling Harry in a hug. "I was worried! Thought you had missed the train!" She rambled on until the train gave a funny jolt.

"Let's get inside a compartment, and then you can explain how you can worry about Harry while eating Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans and talk on the fellytone at the same time."

Hermione glared at him. "I've been telling you for three years, Ronald – it's 'telephone'!"

As Harry stepped into the corridor, he knew that simply getting them to agree on a word might be as far as he ever got.

Author's Note: My first FanFiction! =) And it's a Hermione/Ron. =/ Anyway, please review! (Second chapter is on the way!)