Chapter Eleven
Teyla felt strange. She had never in her life hugged someone, even considered it. The word 'hug' did not even exist in the Athosian language. But somehow Ford's arms around her, even in the awkward position they were seated in, comforted her in a way that no forehead touch could.
She never wanted him to let go, didn't want to unbury her face from his chest and look back out to the world. There was so much hate, so much fighting, so much pain out there. But there in his arms it all seemed to meld away into the background.
At first when she had met their team, she had to admit she'd hadfeeling towards John. He'd been cute, and nice, and seemed so much more a human than the others. He'd intrigued her, and someone she'd developed some sort of crush on him. But over the year she had known him she'd come to realise he wasn't the almighty hero she'd perceived him to be. He had a darker side.
Over the last couple of months she'd started to develop something for Aiden. She wasn't even sure why, but she had. Not something that she'd felt the need to act upon, just…something. Since they'd been taken though, she'd been drawn a lot closer to him, the shared experience of being captured by the Wraith was leading her to believe that if she confessed her feelings for him they would be reciprocated.
"Teyla…" Ford said, his voice sounding on edge.
She felt him tense and pulled away from him as the familiar gut feeling returned to her. The Wraith were nearby. She turned to face the doorway, just in time to see a Wraith enter.
"You, come with me," he said, pointing to Ford.
Ford stood up and moved towards the Wraith. Teyla jumped up after him and grabbed his wrist. He turned to look at her.
"No…" she said quietly. "I do not want you to go…"
"I don't have a choice," he replied.
She knew he was right, but she also had a horrible feeling that when he left, it would be the last time she'd see him. A horrible gut wrenching feeling, she wanted to vomit, yet at the same time felt as though her insides had gone completely dry, that they no longer contained anything except her fear.
"Aiden…" she stopped, not even knowing what to say.
He suddenly leaned forward and kiss her on the lips. By the time it had registered in her brain what had happened the Wraith had grabbed him and jerked him away. As she watched him leave she felt a sinking feeling within her. If he had just done that then he knew as she did, that it was unlikely he'd be returning to her, at least in any way that she would recognise him as Aiden Ford.
She sunk to the floor, the will to escape suddenly evaporating in the cold air around her. She looked at the knife that lay in the shadows, hidden from the eyes of the Wraith. She felt hopeless, discouraged. She crawled slowly to the knife and picked it up with her hand. She stared at it for a long moment, instead of cutting her way through the wall she considered using it to attack an unsuspecting Wraith and then making a run for it.
But she knew it would do little damage to a Wraith.
She watched it, but her thoughts wouldn't concentrate on escape, instead all she could think of was Ford's arms around her, of his lips on hers, of never seeing him again. She felt the knife fall from her hand and clang on the ground. Tears rose within her, but she pushed them back as much as she could. Teyla Emmagan of the Athosians did not cry.
But she slowly found her vision becoming clouded. She wiped her eyes clear, she had to escape, because her escape was the only way in which she could hope to save him.
"You have to let us go," Elizabeth said.
"As ranking military officer here I forbid it," Caldwell replied, looking down at the pile of papers he had arrange on her desk.
"And as leader of the Atlantis expedition I believe I have a say in that opinion," Elizabeth said strongly.
She had been sitting in her office, which Caldwell had claimed as his own, for the past half hour, trying to convince him to let her and McKay and some military personnel go to the planet to rescue Ford and Teyla.
"You have no concrete evidence proving that they are even on that planet, Dr, I don't care who you are, as ranking military officer my judgement is that you shouldn't go," Caldwell repeated.
"You already said that, but thank you for reiterating it for me, Colonel," Elizabeth shot back.
He looked up at her, surprised at her sarcasm. Her glared was a cold one, and she knew it. She could see it in his eyes, the conflict. He could see that she wasn't going to let him win, no matter how hard he tried.
She was the woman that once, what seemed like eons earlier, had tried to bargain with the Goa'uld to 'become a system lord' as Daniel had put it. She wasn't going to let a measly marine Colonel get in her way.
"You find me proper evidence that they're on that planet and that we have a distinct advantage and maybe, just maybe I'll send a team through," Caldwell replied.
His words hit her like a rocket.
"Let me guess…you're not going to let me rescue my people," John said, turning to face her.
"Major, you don't even know if they're alive," she replied.
"You don't leave people in the hands of the enemy, and the fact that we aree having this conversation in private lets me know that you know damn well that its wrong, and it will totally undermine your leadership. So as ranking military officer I…"
"OK just shut up and listen to me for a moment alright?" she paused, waiting for his reaction, after he remained silent she continued. "Come on, what do we know about the Wraith? One of the few things we do know is that they're the enemy that defeated the Ancients…when we first began to use the Stargate on Earth, we got ourselves into serious trouble…why?"
He almost rolled his eyes at her. "I don't need a history lesson…"
"Because the people in charge didn't consider the ramifications before they reacted!"
"They took our people, how am I supposed to react?"
"We're defenceless, you said so yourself! How do you know that going off on some half-assed rescue mission isn't going to bring them all right back here to our doorstep?" she said, getting aggravated.
"Maybe it will…but it's the right thing to do, why? Because it is!"
She sighed inwardly, this wasn't working. "John…"
"If we're gonna do this, and I mean right now, why don't we just turn tail and pack up…because they're coming."
"You don't know that," she said, crossing her arms, but calming down slightly.
"Our people are in the hands of the enemy, Doctor, do you know what that means?" he said, lowering his voice slightly as well. "It is just a matter of time before the Wraith figure out that this is the base of our operations."
"I just need more information," she said, while still convinced he was the one with the weaker argument she was wavering slightly. "I mean who knows, maybe we could negotiate a peaceful…"
"Peaceful? Are you kidding?" he'd raised his voice again. "We weren't there for a few hours when they showed up."
"Is it possible they came because of you?"
He nodded hesitantly.
"And that one of these people you brought back here with you tipped them off?" she continued.
"It's possible," he admitted.
"See that's exactly the kind of snap decision I'm referring to!"
"They're not all bad people…and you know if we're gonna stick around here, we need friends."
She looked at him in a different way for the first time. Looked passed her bias against the military. John Sheppard wasn't a man out for kicks, for firing weapons and flying, he was out to save people. And while he loved flying, he did it to help people. He took things as they came, and saw them from a perspective that she wasn't used to seeing from a military officer.
"OK, I see your point," she resigned. "Now you see mine…I will not authorise a rescue mission unless I'm sure there's at least a remote chance of success. I'm not sending more good people, including you, to their deaths…"
"OK," he replied, and headed towards the door.
She watched him leave before turning to face the ocean. She wasn't used to this, to listening to a military officer talk to her like that. It surprised her, his honesty, his need to save people, no matter the risk to himself. She guessed she'd never looked at that side of the military, the loyalty and the caring that they held for each other. Her few months at the SGC had taught her some things, but her few minutes on that balcony with John Sheppard had taught her even more…
"Dr, are you listening to me?"
Drawn back to reality by Caldwell's voice she looked up at him. "Yes, of course."
She looked at him, she had one shot at this, and she wasn't going to let him win. She thought back to Major Carter at the SGC, her determination to find a way to save Colonel O'Neill who at the time had been frozen in Antarctica. That's the determination she had now, to uphold John's wish and to save Teyla and Ford, both of them integral parts of Atlantis.
"Look, Colonel, isn't it some part of your unwritten military code that you never leave a man behind?" she tried.
"They're not my people, Dr," Caldwell replied, surprising her with his coldness.
"Colonel you are sitting my chair, you are claiming yourself as taking over my position as leader of Atlantis…they are your people," Elizabeth said.
"Teyla, is not one of my people," Caldwell looked up at her, his eyes cold, colder than her had been moments before. "Lieutenant Ford is an unfortunate loss."
"You know what? Major Sheppard would have done it. He wouldn't have wasted valuable time arguing with me over this, he would have done it without my permission. Because he cares, Colonel, he cares about his people and he cares about Atlantis. I don't care what orders you have from Earth, this is not Earth, and I am the leader of this expedition. Now if you're not going to listen to me then I'll find you a new planet to be leader of. You can fight the Wraith from there as much as you like, and you can leave behind as many of your men as you please, but this is my city and those are my people and if you're not going to help me launch a rescue mission, I'll do it myself," she said.
"Dr, Major Sheppard's record is questionable. He pays not regard to the rules, and it's not always for the best," Caldwell replied.
"General O'Neill would have done the same," Elizabeth replied. "They're good men Colonel, and if all you want to be is a good military officer, then you're doing a good job. But I'd prefer it if you didn't do it at the expense of my friends."
She stood up and walked out of the office, heading towards the control room. To her surprise he followed her.
"Dr Weir!" he said.
She spun around to face him, stopping on the bridge between her office and the control room. It seemed as though they had the attention of the entire facility…
"Are you refusing to acknowledge my order?" Caldwell asked.
"I am not in the military, Colonel, I don't have the acknowledge anything you say," she replied.
"Are you aware that there was a report sent back to Earth, outlining all your failings since taking up leadership of Atlantis? It was an impressive list, Dr. But due to the good faith of everyone else in your abilities General O'Neill chose to dismiss it all," Caldwell said, loud enough so the rest of people could hear him clearly. "I'm beginning to wonder if that was such a wise decision…"
She faltered for a moment. Someone had sent a report back to Earth with a list of the bad things she'd done?
Kavanaugh
She clenched her jaw and moved closer to the Colonel. "I don't like you…and after I get my people back from the Wraith I'm going to dial Earth and have a little conversation with General O'Neill myself. Now if you'd excuse me, I have a rescue mission to accomplish."
"Don't think you're taking any military personnel on that mission," he said.
"Don't worry Colonel, I don't want the use of your military personnel," she shot back.
With that she turned and stormed through the control room, in search of Rodney and Carson. She felt the eyes of everyone watching her, but she didn't care. She was one angry woman and she was on a mission…