Disclaimer: see chapter I
A/N: First of all, many hugs go to Donroth for beta-ing! And of course, many hugs to all the reviewers! Sorry if this chapter is a bit late, but I have a decent excuse this time! Tests! Lots of them!... And throw in a couple of essays and you have one very overworked author! But here it is, and I think some people will finally get some answers!
Grey
Chapter XI
After almost being thrown out of her room, Hermione found herself walking towards the infirmary. Even after she had mentioned that Malfoy was her enemy and most of all unconscious, Maggie had still shouted all kinds of suggestive behaviour she could 'employ' to make an 'impression'.
After some colourful description of behaviour that would be quite scandalous indeed, but was actually tolerated in Pureblood society as the Mirror insured her, she had made an hasty exit under teasing and sly comments.
Hermione groaned. She didn't really know why they suddenly got along so well but she could already see that Maggie could be very determined in whatever she had her mind on and right now it seemed determined to land her new mistress a nice, and preferably handsome, wizard of breeding. "After all," Maggie had said slyly, "you want to have good-looking children, yes?"
Children?!
Hermione shook her head as she entered the infirmary. "Good evening," she greeted Madam Pomfrey who cheerily greeted her back.
"Miss Granger, how nice of you to pay him a visit tonight! But you will come down for the fireworks, won't you? We haven't seen much of you the last couple of days... I was starting to wonder!"
"Well," Hermione gave the nurse a tentative smile, "I wasn't really in the mood. Christmas wasn't that much fun. I should have gone with my friends but...." But they are probably enjoying themselves at Lavender's right now, drinking and eating and snog- Never mind that!
"Ah, yes, I see. But they'll be back soon. If you want my opinion; yes, you should have gone with them. You're young and... and considering what's happening nowadays, you should take the time to have fun, go out and do things with your peers." As long as you still can. The thought wasn't spoken but they both understood the silence following the nurse's words.
"That reminds me... Are doing all right with what happened to you at the Ministry. I mean," Madam Pomfrey sighed softly. "What I meant to ask you sooner is if you've been dealing well with what has happened to you. First you've seen some horrible things when you came to Mr Malfoy's rescue. Then, you yourself were a target for that awful Lestrange woman. Perhaps you want to talk about it? Are these experiences troubling you in any way? Miss Granger- Hermione... We sometimes seem to forget that you and your friends are still just children as you have already dealt with many frightening things. But we are here for you if you wish to talk about it."
Hermione felt somewhat soothed by the sincere worry evident in the nurse's face and voice. However, she was confused and in doubt. She didn't really know what to do... She wanted to talk to someone, someone other than her familiar, but... Somehow she just couldn't tell Madam Pomfrey about her failure, insecurities and the shame that she most of all felt.
"Really, Madam... I'm doing well with everything. I've usually got my friends to talk to and maybe that's the reason why I'm feeling a bit down right now. I'll be in a much better mood when they've returned." Hermione smiled faintly at the still seemingly worried Mediwitch.
"Perhaps you should spend somewhat less time with young Mr Malfoy and some more with your friends. And already you've helped me very much by making those badges of Pepper Up potion. At least I won't have to bother Professor Snape for a while now." A disapproving frown appeared on the nurse's face as she mentioned the Potions Master. "That man," Madam Pomfrey muttered, "he's overworking himself... Hmm." The nurse's face brightened when she saw the slightly curious look on the student's face. "I'm relying heavily on Professor Snape for most of my potions. But the poor man already has so many duties to take care off. I always feel slightly guilty for asking him, but some potions are just too complex to be brewed by any other than a Potion Master."
"Well... I'm happy I've been able to do something. Most of the time I felt like I was in getting in your way."
"Oh, nonsense! Besides, most of your time is spent at Mr Malfoy's side." Madam Pomfrey remarked casually.
Hermione pulled a face at the remark. She spending time at Malfoy's side. There were just so many things wrong with that image!
"So, what do you have planned for entertaining him this evening? More reading? No homework, right?" The nurse said knowingly. "It is your vacation too, Miss Granger."
"No! No homework!" Hermione said quickly, reassuring her. "Just some reading! Very light stuff!"
"All right. But don't forget about the toasts and fireworks! You wouldn't want to miss them."
"I won't, Madam." The nurse smiled and ushered her away. Hermione quickly escaped into the small room before Madam Pomfrey changed her mind and decided Hermione was better off celebrating New Year's Eve with the other remaining students. She plopped down on a chair and retrieved a book from her voluminous bag.
She looked at the pale boy. Still no signs of ... anything. Not the slightest movement, no increase in breathing, no fluttering of eyelids to indicate a dream or any other form of brain activity.
Was he ever going to wake up?
What would his parents do if he never woke up?
It would mean an endless wait, slowly losing hope but still they would always cling to that last thread of something that resembled hope and optimism; clinging to it and it would never let them rest, never let them start grieving as their son would still be there... Never letting them move on.
Always in between. Frozen, stagnant. Caught in a moment of time, almost...
Hermione shivered; she wouldn't wish that on anyone!
She smoothed the soft blankets and looked almost pleadingly at the nearly lifeless face... Just for a sign that there was still something there...
His hair lay dully around his head and on the pillow. Not sleeked back it was actually quite long. It gave his sharp features a somewhat softer look.
But still cold, like a statue.
Was this his fate?
Never to be able to live again? Left behind by life itself... forgotten?
Hermione looked sadly at the Christmas present she had gotten for him. He couldn't see it, of course.
She had enchanted his ceiling. She had researched the charms that had been used so long ago on the ceiling of the Great Hall and had come up with a modified version she could actually manage. It didn't show the sky the entire day and it did require her to maintain it every week, to induce new magic in her charms, but it had worked so far. The nurse had been surprised and had actually complimented her on her work.
She had remembered from some years ago that Malfoy had taken a great liking to Astronomy. He seemed to be enthralled by the stars and other celestial bodies. Therefore every night the ceiling would picture the night sky, rotating and all until dawn had chased even Venus away.
That was also the reason why she was now busy reading several books and articles, Muggle ones, about every theory and knowledge gathered about the universe. Indeed, maybe a bit of indoctrination again? Maybe, maybe not. She actually thought she was giving him an opportunity; Malfoy was quite intelligent and though he might have hated everything Muggle, now that he was forced to listen to whatever she chose to read she could introduce him to the Muggle variant of Astronomy. After all, it was very fascinating.
So she picked up where she had left off yesterday: The Big Bang. The soft light of stars and moon twinkled down on the pages, giving an appropriate glow on the words of their possible origin.
The sudden sound of the door opening startled her rather badly as she had been deeply immerged into the material. Her mood fell when she saw who entered the room.
She should have thought of the possibility. Lucius Malfoy.
She was instantly on her guard and felt herself tense. She shrank back into her chair as his cold eyes fell on her, a surprised, pleased look appearing for a moment on his proud features.
But she didn't see this as her attention was drawn to the woman who entered after him.
Mrs Narcissa Malfoy! This was the first time Hermione saw Malfoy's mother visiting her son. She quickly grabbed her bag and stuffed her book in it. Obviously, they would want some privacy to spend time with their son; maybe spend New Year's Eve together and hope for a better year. Once again, almost unwillingly, feelings of sympathy arose in her.
"Miss Granger," Lucius Malfoy said with his customary drawl. "Finding you here, reading to him even on New Year's Eve..." Mrs Malfoy quickly glanced past her husband's towering figure , settling her icy blue eyes filled with cold contempt on the uneasy girl.
"Miss... Granger?" The cool disdain was clearly audible in the woman's voice. The beautiful woman looked like something filthy had just managed to stain her robes.
"Yes," Malfoy's tone became a bit sharp and his eyes flashed for a moment with... irritation? Hermione couldn't really tell. But he swiftly regained his haughty and controlled demeanor.
"Yes, Miss Granger. I do believe I told you about her and what she does for our son." He curtly informed his aloof wife.
"Well... It might have slipped my mind." Mrs Malfoy's voice was soft but strangely empty, her mouth twisted in a disapproving, thin line. Hermione shivered as the elder witch's cold eyes took in her appearance, making her feel strangely lacking.
"Miss Granger has taken a somewhat unorthodox but interesting approach to helping our son, as no other measures seem to help anymore. Basically, she tries to bring his consciousness back by trying to stimulate his mind through talking to him. That's what I've been doing as well, as I can find logic in her idea. Whatever can bring him back." He said quite forcefully at seeing the almost despondent expression on his wife's face.
"I don't see any improvement," was her cold reply. Hermione noticed the cool, and what she would almost call indifferent manner with which Mrs Malfoy regarded her son. She was obviously just as skilled at hiding her emotions as her husband was. Apparently, her presence was bothering the woman. After all, she was a Muggle born and hanging around her son's bed.
But Lucius Malfoy seemed to become irritated with Mrs Malfoy's subdued demeanor.
"No indeed!" He snapped, his eyes flashing. His wife didn't seem bothered by it. She took a step closer to the bed and looked at the unconscious boy with a detached look on her face. Her son. Hermione felt another stab of sympathy for the couple; the boy was lying there unaware of his parents visiting him.
Mrs Malfoy didn't reach out to her son nor did her expression change. She kept her distance, an unnamed emotion flickered in her eyes before dying out, returning to a cold and composed look.
"Don't you think it's... useless? She uttered softly. She turned away from the bed, eyes on the door. "Useless and hopeless." Her voice held a dull note.
Lucius Malfoy grabbed his wife's arm and hauled her to him till their noses almost touched.
"No, I don't think so!" His voice was deceptively soft. "We will continue to hope, won't we? He is still our son, isn't he? He deserves our hope... We will never think it's useless, or hopeless or a waste of time!" He almost growled in his wife's face.
For a moment, both stared harshly into each other's eyes.
"I haven't seen any change in him since I've been here... Time slips away and with that his chances. Why don't you admit it?" Mrs Malfoy's voice had risen just the slightest bit. "Why don't you admit that it's pointless continuing this? And to think it is based on nothing but a silly girl's idea. Lucius... Why do you keep fooling yourself?" She averted her eyes from the scowling face of her husband to look at the boy lying motionless in his bed. "He won't wake up... I know it, you know it. Not with the damage done-"
"We don't know exactly what kind of curses he has suffered under." Malfoy said slowly, staring hard at his wife.
"But with the damage done," Mrs Malfoy continued never the less, making Hermione feel deeply saddened at seeing the woman apparently giving up hope, "it is highly unlikely he will ever wake up again and if he will... Then it would be better if he hadn't. I think..." Her husband's eyes flashed with what Hermione recognised as fury and she unknowingly braced herself. However, he didn't speak nor do anything as he merely watched his wife turn once more to her son.
"I've said my goodbye, Lucius. I won't fool myself. Therefore, it's useless for me, for us. You have tried, and failed-"
"He's still our son, Narcissa," Malfoy hissed at his obviously resigned wife.
"You're only hurting yourself. You know you have done enough. Let go. Don't do this to yourself. Move on. You'll have to move on, or otherwise..." She turned her frozen eyes on her husband's face. He seemed to be having trouble restraining his feelings as his eyes were dark and cloudy with repressed intensity. His eyes searched his wife's face and both seemed to find their answer on the other's.
Mrs Malfoy nodded curtly to her husband. "You know what you have to do. Don't let this ruin... us." With one last look filled with the same strange emotion at her son, Mrs Malfoy walked out of the room, leaving her husband behind with a highly embarrassed girl, who felt like she had rudely intruded on the conversation.
Hermione quickly jumped up from her chair as Lucius Malfoy stood there frozen, looking after his wife with such a look of pure rage and fierce hatred that it frightened her badly. She didn't want to get caught between them.
She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, and was about to slip out of the room when Malfoy blocked the doorway, eyes still seething with malice.
"Sit down, Miss Granger." He barked out. She stood still for a moment, hesitant, not wanting to stay with him in a room, but he was blocking her exit...
"I think you rather want to be alone, right now, sir..." She said softly, trying to calm him down.
"Haven't I told you before? Never presume to know what I think or want, Miss Granger. You could be in for an unwelcome surprise, I would say. Now, sit. Down." He hissed at her.
She obeyed his command with reluctance. She didn't know how to handle this man, with all his suppressed and fiercely controlled anger and hate. Now, it seemed to come off of him in waves, almost choking her with his intensity.
Somewhere in a detached corner of her mind she could marvel about the tight, unrelenting control on his emotions. She knew instinctively, just like any other who came in contact with the wizard, that he was danger personified. It was always present, the danger and malice, just behind those eyes and that permanently haughty expression. Though, after a while, when he didn't pounce, you could be lulled in a false sense of safety. Only to be painfully reminded by his viciousness when it was already too late.
Still, Hermione gathered her courage. She wasn't, couldn't let herself be bullied anymore than she had let him... For her own sense of self, she had to at least try to give him some resistance.
"Please, don't take your anger with your wife out on me!" She snapped at him. She almost decided against continuing as his eyes widened further and his jaws clenched in warning. Though, still, she pressed on.
"I am sorry for witnessing your conversation- Well, actually, you didn't even give me an opportunity to leave! You just went ahead! But don't you see? Your wife has lost hope and... I think she is trying to come to terms with the possibility of losing her son. Maybe, she's afraid of hoping..."
"You think, Miss Granger? I don't need your help in trying to dissect my wife's feelings. I know her very well..." He finished sharply and shot her a withering look. "Don't think you know anything, my caring little Gryffindor. She's... She can't stand the sight of him." With that he let himself abruptly drop into the chair next to her, much too close for Hermione's comfort. Still, she tried to focus on their conversation.
"I... I don't want to insult you or your wife... But I can understand a bit of what she must be going through. I don't know if I could stand the sight of my only child lying in a bed for months without any sign that there is still life in him-" She was interrupted by a harsh, sneering laugh from him as Lucius watched her with incredulous amazement.
"You're a treasure... So innocent... My wife has visited our, my son only one time before this night. Indeed, already on that night, a mere day after he was attacked, my wife had decided he wouldn't wake up."
Hermione looked at the disgust and anger and pain and resentment; at all the many emotions in his eyes, on his face, in his voice. So complex, this wizard, not just a one dimensional evil Death Eater... It was disturbing to see this malicious man with softer feelings. It caused questions she didn't know the answers to.
She didn't really understand the hidden meaning in his words. "Maybe your wife is just too scared to hope? Maybe this is her way of defence against her pain and grief? Maybe she... Maybe she just doesn't dare to hope? I mean... I saw what that woman had done to him. It- it looked really bad."
"Still, would you have offered to read to him if you were convinced it was hopeless? If you were convinced he would die anyway?"
"Well... No." Hermione answered truthfully, unsure where he was going.
"Indeed. And neither have I given up hope. I know he will wake up. He is a Malfoy. But my wife... Well... We disagree with each other and it puts us at odds. This is however the limit," he murmured softly to her and she raised her eyebrows, confused. He chuckled dryly at her befuddled expression.
"There is more going on than you know, Miss Granger and soon, I will explain everything. I promise you justice, Hermione and as soon as I know enough to prove my suspicions, I will tell you all about it. It won't be long now before I will have back my family. Finally, I will obtain what we need. I will get satisfaction. For him," he gestured at his son, "And for me" He almost whispered to her. The sheer malevolence glittering in his eyes, the pure need for retribution openly displayed made her back away in her chair. Back away from him.
Too fast for her, he had reached out and grabbed her chin gently in his firm grasp. "Don't back away, my sweet, don't shun me. Haven't I told you there is nothing to fear. The last thing on my mind is hurting you, Miss Granger." He murmured huskily and he trailed his thumb over her skin, staring at her mouth.
"What about the Ministry," she brought out, scared by his proximity and the hunger in his stare. "You've hurt me there."
"No, I haven't. If I had really wanted to hurt you... I don't give any mercy to my enemies. You wouldn't have left alive if I really had my mind on hurting you. I would have spilt your blood, drawn out your screams and I would have indulged myself in them. So, don't fear I will hurt you."
"But I would be stupid to trust you, to let myself believe you are harmless. You might not hurt my body but..." She bit her lip and watched his amused eyes follow her teeth with a disturbing greed.
"You are indeed learning, Miss Granger. Now, what were you reading." The sudden change in subject and absence of his touch threw her off and she blinked a couple of times before catching on. "What?" She asked, confused.
"What were you reading to my son."
"Oh! Uhm, well, about the Big Bang... Astronomy. Muggle Astronomy."
"Sounds interesting. Carry on; it's still two hours before midnight. Please, spend New Year's Eve with us. I think my son would like to have the people who care about him celebrating the start of the new year with him."
He said please... Dumbfounded, Hermione fished her book out of her bag and started reading where she let off. Suddenly She found that her anger had disappeared. The honest request wouldn't let her leave.
She would stay.
"Happy New Year," Lucius wished her solemnly as they watched the fireworks silently.
She caught the pained look he threw at his son and she sighed deeply. "Happy New Year to you too, Mr Malfoy..." Her voice trailed off as she watched with a bit of trepidation as he quickly caught one of her hands in his, his eyes piercing hers as he leaned forward slightly.
"It will be a better year... We will defy the odds, Miss Granger. Do you stand with me?"
"I..." Hermione knew not what came over her. She did not trust him, that she knew. She was quite frightened of him too... Yet he had managed somehow to get past her defences and into her mind. That was the only reason she could come up with... He played her so well, too well for her own sake... So why was she about to give him such a promise? What made her try again? Was she such a fool? So very, very stupid? Probably. And yet she couldn't resist the honesty in his words and eyes.
"I will stand with you, sir."
Then, his expression changed and he graced her with a wicked smile. "Good," he purred at her, "I knew you would, my little Gryffindor."
Oh yes. A bigger fool had yet to be born!
She tentatively smiled back.
A/N: So, what do you think? Anyone?
Review Responses!!
Athena Linborn: Yes, it was indeed not so much of an exciting chapter, but it was necessary. I think this chapter has somewhat more action and stuff.
Kontara: Thanks! I try my best with Snape, but I find it hard to picture him! Glad to hear I do a reasonable job.
SnapeSeraphin: Hermione will get the best of Lucius, of course, but not right now, or in the next few chapters, I think. It's more of a gradual change, a bit more respect too... But Lucius will get some surprises, and I think it will only make him more determined.
And of course you're right about the name of the DADA Professor. I think I had a lack of imagination then and decided to go for Dutch.
Please continue your fic, because it's really intriguing and original! If anyone's reading this, go check out her fic! I promise you won't be disappointed!
Iarethirwen: Thank you! Thank you very much! By the way, does your name mean anything? It sure does sound nice.
DarkRoseBlood: Thanks! And where do you get the Snape and, most of all, the Lucius plushies?
Saiyachick: I can understand that it makes you uneasy. But you keep reading and therefore, thanks!!
Wackoramaco87: The Mirror doesn't really have any hidden motivations except for nagging Hermione! And for recommendations... Hmmm, well, there are quite a few good ones out there. You should try SnapeSeraphin's 'To save a Malfoy' or Evan M's 'In the end'. There's also a site where you can find good LM/HG fiction:
Alynna Lis Eachann: I think the same about the immediately-falling-in-love stories. Though I like them too, I think it's more of a challenge to make it a bit more believable.
Read300300: Bonus points?! I see what I can do!
Tamlane: Your dissection does not get on my nerves at all! In fact, it's very nice to have such detailed comments on the chapter!
About Snape; after you mentioned that Snape never touches a student, you got me thinking and I think you're right. And it's actually quite realistic: Snape is a very closed-off, private person and touching other people certainly doesn't fit in his profile. Thanks for the tip! And about Snape and romance... I never wrote it, never will, probably, but there are a few good stories out there, like 'The Twenty' by Leyna Rountree. However, this story is a very gradual romance and I think that's what makes it believable to me.
The Mirror had to have her say, you know. I like her, because I can try writing a tactless and witty character with her. And it's only luck that makes it turn out relatively well. Sometimes, I just want to have another person's perspective, because I fear that Hermione's and Lucius' points of view will get a bit boring, eventually.
Many thanks for the compliment; once again, it's more of an accident that it turns out right, because I tend to drift away from the main line and all kinds of persons' inner ramblings turn up. I can't seem to help it!
I hope you've enjoyed this chapter too. It was a bit hard to write, but I'm quite satisfied how it turned out. Next chapter is another one of those plot-building ones... The chapter after that... Well, let's say it has a surprise.
Peggywoo: Please do! Secretly, I'm trying to brainwash everyone into writing LM/HG fics!! ;-)
Anni: You have to wait a couple of chapters before there will be a change in Draco's situation. Sorry!
Shivawn T: Thank you! I try my best and it's nice to know that my efforts are paying off.
BbyChick: Here it is!
Kay: Thank you very much! It's really an honour that you think so!
SlytherinDragoon: Sorry that this took some time too; but I'm determined to get good grades in school and, unfortunately, that means studying.
Artemis Moonclaw: Yeah, well, thanks! I think I had a bit to many chocolate chips cookies there !
Moonjava: If you liked last chapter, I hope you like this one too!
Jay: Now, what do you think about Narcissa? Perhaps a different twist than you thought? And some more Lucius/Hermione interaction!
Atlas452: I hope I satisfied your curiosity about Narcissa. And did I hook you up to LM/HG fics? See the recommendations above.
Meave: Nou, hier is dan hoofdstuk elf. Ik heb je nog niet gemaild maar ga het zeker doen nu school eindelijk weer in wat rustiger vaarwater is gekomen. Blij dat je Maggie een leuk karakter vindt, want ik vind het leuk om haar te schrijven!
Milaya: I tell you something; I think a possessive streak is definitely a part of Lucius Malfoy. As is his temper!
Evan M: Thank you, and may I say the same about your own story! I'm looking forward to chapter two!
BalooFairy: Oh my, all my stories?! There are some I'm not entirely happy with, but hey, thanks! I try to keep the chapters coming!
Starslover: And here is the chapter!! Next will hopefully up soon too, but I can't give you any promises.
Kellalor: I'm sure she will! After all, he's begging for it, isn't he?!
Belladonna: Normal... Many things in life aren't normal. Many relationships aren't normal. And normal is very relative. What I find normal can seem awfully strange to you! And this relationship I'm trying to write here isn't and won't be normal. I don't like writing normal!
SerpentClara: I completely agree: evil endings can be 'happy' too! I don't think everyone has to be perfectly happy for a 'happy ending'! I like writing dark pieces too and they don't have a standard or very nice ending and still I consider them happy, mostly because I can't and won't kill the two main characters, which are the centre of my fics. That doesn't mean I can't be cruel. If you're completely puzzled now, read the ending of my fic 'Night has fallen' to see what I mean. (Warning, it's a DBZ fic, so if you don't like it, don't read. It's just an example of what I like to write.)