Summary: After five years have passed and Hermione and Ron still haven't realized that they like each other, Harry figures that, with the help of a joke shop and a few drink glasses, he can give them a little push.
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter characters and previous plot belong to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot of this fanfiction.
Love Plus Four
Chapter Five : Owls and Dreams
"Bloody hell! I've been turned into a girl!"
The whole Gryffindor table turned to look at Ron.
"You're not a girl," Neville offered.
Harry turned to Ginny, who was staring at Ron intently. "What's going on?" he mouthed, but the youngest Weasley just shook her head furiously and maintained her stare.
"But – but -" Ron stuttered, "My reflection! I looked like a girl!"
Ginny grinned. "Who, exactly, did you see?"
He looked at his sister. "Well, Hermione, but -"
Ginny squealed. "I knew it!" she shouted triumphantly, before gathering her books and dashing off in the direction of the dormitories.
" – but that's not possible," Ron finished, staring after Ginny's retreating form. "What a load of rubbish," he said, looking at the fragments of his drink glass. "Whatever it is she's talking about."
Hermione stared at the boys before stuffing her glass in her bookbag. She seemed irritated about how a certain redhead had spilled apple juice all over her Daily Prophet. "I'm going to do some research," she announced.
"On what?" Ron asked, but she was already gone.
At that same moment, Fred and George took their respective seats at the table. "We saw Ginny leave," Fred said. "What happened?"
"I need to talk to you guys," Harry muttered. "It's about the…situation."
George's eyes lit up an almost malicious manner. "We'll have no problem cheering up our little brother. All these arguments with Hermione definitely aren't good for him."
The three turned to look at Ron, who had continued to munch on his toast among his shattered goblet and Hermione's apple-juice-stained newspaper.
"Even if it does take a joke or two," Fred finished.
"Meet me at 7:00 in the owlery," Harry said, getting up to go to class. "C'mon, Ron, we've got Potions."
"Mrph…kay," the red-haired boy said, stuffing the rest of his toast into his mouth as he got his books and followed Harry out of the Great Hall.
Throughout Snape's class, Harry was trying to figure out how Fred and George would be able to help get Ron and Hermione together. Love potions were out of the question, considering that Hermione had already been accused of using one during fourth year. After Snape deducted ten points from Gryffindor, Harry resolved to temporarily forget about setting up the two friends and start working on winning the House Cup.
The day passed uneventfully. Hermione seemed preoccupied with something else, while Ron was still uneasy about the whole identity crisis earlier in the day. Harry made a mental note to ask Ginny what that had been all about.
After dinner, he hurried up to the owlery. Fred and George were already waiting.
"So, Harry, what've you got in mind?" Fred inquired.
Harry explained the Hermione/Ron problem. There was a few moments of silence afterwards, in which Harry noticed, much to his dismay, that an owl had utilized his shoulder for a bathroom.
Suddenly George had an idea. "Aha!" he shouted, pulling several items out of the innermost pockets of his robes.
"Test products," Fred said, seeing Harry's slack-jawed gaze. "With the help of the Shrink 'n Bring, we can fit most of our experiments on our persons."
George finally found the object which held his interest. "Here it is," he declared, holding up a vial, "the object that will make your dreams come true – or, rather, make you act on them."
"What does it do?" Harry asked in amazement.
Fred took the vial from his twin. "This little drink reveals to the consumer their most-treasured thing, be it person, passion, or … thing. Whatever they feel strongly about will appear in their dreams the night after they take a sip of this little drink."
Harry looked at the two, confused. "But how will this help?"
George grinned. "It does more than just that, Harry. The day after, the consumer will feel inclined to go share whatever it is they're thinking about."
Harry nodded. "I get it. That should work." He then paused for a moment. "There's something I don't understand, though: how would you use this in a joke shop?"
Fred replied, "Well, it might be interesting (even funny) to see how people react to it. Malfoy, for instance."
Harry pictured Malfoy running around with a bottle of Sleekeasy's hair gel, professing his love for the hair product. "Oh, well then…"
"Right!" Fred nodded, handing his vial to the black-haired boy as George produced one just like it.
"You should take these, too," George added, handing over two mugs of butterbeer. "They have a containment spell on them which should wear off soon."
Harry realized that the mugs were for putting the vials of liquid in. As he turned to leave, he asked, "What do you call this, anyway?"
The twins looked at each other before answering simultaneously, "Spoiled Secrets!"
Harry nodded slowly before heading back to Gryffindor Tower.
"Ah, the young and in love," Fred said wistfully.
"Maybe we should give some of this to Angelina and Alicia," George motioned.
"A right idea indeed," Fred replied before the two disappeared to some further mischief.
Back in the common room, Harry found his two companions sitting in chairs facing each other by the fire. They're not fighting, but they're not exactly deep in conversation, either.
"Hi guys," Harry said.
Hermione nodded as she continued to scribble madly.
Ron stated weakly, "Hullo."
Harry uncorked each vial on a separate table and poured each of them into their own mug. "I got something for you guys," he announced, revealing the butterbeer. "A sort-of 'congratulations' for surviving the first day of term."
Hermione looked relieve, taking the mug and drinking half of it without even questioning its origin. "Thanks, Harry," she said. "Rough first day."
Ron nodded as if to say "ditto" before drinking up.
Harry grinned absentmindedly. A few minutes passed after the two had finished their butterbeer with Hermione writing, Harry thinking, and Ron just staring off into space before anything changed. Finally, Ron snapped out of his stupor.
"I'm going to bed," he said. "'Night, Harry. 'Night, Hermione."
Hermione nodded as the Boy who Lived replied, "See you tomorrow." Ron disappeared up the stairs. About an hour passed before Hermione finally got out of her chair to stretch.
"Well, Harry, I'm going to bed. You should be getting to sleep too," she warned.
"I'll be fine. Sweet dreams," he replied. Hermione gave him an odd look before proceeding to the girls' dormitories. Harry sat idle for a few minutes before realizing that he had Potions homework to do.
"Dang Snape," he muttered before pulling a roll of parchment and quill out of his bag. "And to top it all off, all I can think about are love potions…"
Meanwhile, Ron was sleeping restlessly. "'Mione…"
Author's Note: . . . . . .wow. I haven't updated this since, what, October of 2004? I am…ashamed. Ugh. Oh well; it's summer 2005 now, and I shall have much time to finish this! I think about two chapters are left in it, because I have it all planned out. I've set a deadline for myself: July 15. That is, of course, the day before the sixth book come out, and reading that would throw off the interpretation of this story. I'm thinking another chapter should be out next week. Thank you so much for reading this, and please review!