Enchanted Love
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, although I can think of a few I would love to own! This is for entertainment purposes only.
Story: It's Hermione's 7th year at Hogwarts, and now that Lord Voldemort has been defeated, she has time to think about her life. She begins a forbidden relationship with Remus Lupin, but soon finds another man enchants her thoughts. Sirius Black never died, and is now a free man.
Chapter 15 - Eyes Without A Face
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Now I close my eyes.
And I wonder why
I don't despise
Now all I can do,
Is love what was once
So alive and new.
But it's gone now from your eyes,
I'd better realize.
'Eyes With A Face' Billy Idol
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Hermione woke up and rubbed her eyes. They were gritty from crying herself to sleep. She sighed and rolled over, checking the clock. It was almost time for dinner in the great hall. She really didn't want to go and see Remus, Sirius or Harry. Today was Sunday, she would have to go to class with them all tomorrow. "I might as well get it over with." she muttered.
"Yes, you might as well!" Ginny exclaimed from the chair she was sitting in beside Hermione's bed.
Hermione groaned and sat up. "Don't you have a life?" she muttered, teasing her friend. She was glad Ginny had stayed with her, she didn't know what she would do without her friend.
"Go get cleaned up, you stink." Ginny said, waving her hand in front of her nose, trying not to giggle.
Hermione leaned over her friend and hugged her. "Thank you Gin. I'll be out shortly." she said, turning to the bathroom.
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Sirius rubbed his forehead. After the fight with Harry, he had gone for a walk around the school grounds, and then come back to his room. Sirius had decided to take a nap, but when he laid down he smelled her on his sheets and pillow. Her rose scent lingered on the pillow, the smell of her sweat and the smell of sex lingered on the sheets, tickling his nose.
Instead of napping, Sirius had spent two hours washing his sheets and pillows. Now he sat at his desk, trying to grade papers before class tomorrow. He was staring at Hermione's paper now, wondering how he was ever going to make things right with her. Why did he always say things to hurt her? Why was he constantly acting like a two year old?
Sirius realized how much he wanted to talk to Remus about this. His friend had always been there to help him through all of his life's problems. This was the one problem Remus couldn't help him with though.
Sirius felt a pain through his heart as he realized what he had done to Remus. All along, Sirius had been so caught up in wanting Hermione, and the anger between them after what happened last night, that he had forgotten the betrayal against his best friend. What had he done? His feelings have destroyed his relationships with Harry, with Remus, and most of all, his relationship with Hermione, the one person he has wanted more than any other before.
His hands started to shake as Sirius began to do something he despised, he began to cry.
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Remus ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time in the last hour. Sirius and Hermione? He still couldn't believe it. Part of him wanted to think Harry was lying, but in his heart, Remus knew the boy had told him the truth.
It would explain so much. Her lack of interest in being with him the last week or so. Her decision not to sleep with him last Friday. Her anger at him for using Sirius' nickname for her.
What was all that stuff she had said about really liking him? About how she had liked him for so long? And the whole time she was panting after Sirius, just like every other girl Remus had ever really liked.
After leaving Harry in the hallway, it had taken every ounce of restraint in Remus not to track Sirius down and destroy their farce of a friendship with one swing of his fist.
Instead, he had retreated to his room, where he now was curled up with his fourth bottle of fire whiskey.
Hermione and Sirius. Remus was sure by Hermione's reaction last week that she had been a virgin. She had been so afraid of taking it to another level with him. So Sirius was her first.
He closed his eyes as he thought about it, wishing desperately that he wouldn't. Did Sirius make her scream? Did they do it more than once? Had she gone to the dance with Sirius, expecting to shag him later? Had they gone to the dance together? Laughing about how poor Moony couldn't be there?
"Oh God.." he moaned, covering his eyes. Why Hermione? Sirius could always have any girl he wanted, so why Hermione? Why the one bit of love Remus had began to feel?
The clock flashed 6:30, it was time for dinner. Remus knew there was no way he could face Sirius or Hermione tonight, he wouldn't be responsible for how Moony would react. No, tonight it was best if he stayed in his chambers. Dumbledore wouldn't question his absence, since last night was the full moon.
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Hermione sat between Ginny and Lavender at dinner. Harry kept sending her confused looks, and Hermione wondered if Sirius had spoken with Harry. She glanced up at the staff table.
Lupin's chair was empty. Hermione wondered if he had a rough transformation the night before. Part of her wanted to check on him after dinner, and part of her didn't want to be near him, because she was sure he would look at her and know what happened. Her face flushed at the thought, and panic set in. What if everyone knew?
She tightened her grip on her fork and shot Ginny a panicked look. Ginny smiled and leaned over. "I slept with Sirius Black is not tattooed on your forehead." Ginny whispered in her ear.
Hermione shot her a smile. How did Ginny know what was in her head, when sometimes Hermione didn't even know?
She glanced once more at the staff table, and noticed Sirius walking in and sitting down. He looked tired, his face was pale, and his eyes seemed red. Hermione looked away quickly when she felt his eyes resting on her.
She was still so hurt by the things he had said, she didn't want to see him or talk to him. She turned to Ginny. "Gin, I'm going to the library. I don't have much of an appetite tonight."
Ginny looked at her friends plate. "Okay, you ate all your peas. I'll let you go." Ginny said, using her best 'mom' voice. "Do you want me to go with you?" she asked.
Hermione shook her head. "No, I need to be alone for awhile." she replied.
Ginny nodded. "Okay. I'll be back in the room in a little bit if you want to talk." Ginny said, watching her friend leave. Ginny glanced up at the staff table, and watched Sirius staring at Hermione as she left the room. He stood up as if to follow her, and his eyes went back to the Gryffendor table. Ginny gently shook her head when Sirius looked at her. He frowned, but sat back down.
Ginny knew Hermione needed some time alone, she was going to have to figure this out, and having Sirius around throwing mean words back and forth wasn't going to help.
Harry noticed Ginny and Hermione whispering, and he noticed Ginny warning Sirius not to follow Hermione. Was his girlfriend okay with their relationship? Harry should have felt anger, but he didn't. Sirius looked awful. He seemed so lost and sad sitting up there, and even Harry couldn't deny the fact that Sirius seemed to really like Hermione. Could he really love her like he said?
Harry looked at the table once more. Sirius was pushing his food around on his plate. A sinking feeling settled in Harry's stomach. His godfather did love Hermione. Sirius had led a lonely, miserable life for so long, if she made him happy, what right did Harry have to stop them or hate them?
Hermione had looked in love when Harry had caught them kissing. Harry didn't know what happened between them, but Sirius told Harry that she didn't love him.
His stomach sunk even lower when Harry realized he had told Remus Lupin, who wouldn't report his best friend to Dumbledore, but might give Sirius a hard time for everything. If Sirius thought Remus didn't approve, he wouldn't try to fix things with Hermione.
Although that was what Harry wanted earlier when he told Remus, he realized now he didn't. He wanted his best friend and his godfather to be happy, and if that meant with each other, then fine.
"Ginny.." Harry muttered. "Can we talk for a moment outside?"
Ginny took his hand and they made their way outside. "What's up?" she asked.
"I did something really bad." he said.
"What?" Ginny asked, looking worried.
"I talked to Sirius this morning, and he basically confessed he had slept with Hermione. I was angry and mad. He said he loved her, but she didn't love him."
Ginny glared. How could Sirius think she didn't love him? Of course Hermione loved him, she was just confused and caught between things.
"I told him she was too good for him, and Sirius left. I got mad and stalked off, well, I ran into Remus. I thought that if Remus knew, he would talk Sirius out of hurting Hermione anymore, so I told him. He seemed really mad. Ginny, why are you all white?" Harry asked.
Ginny felt the blood drain out of her body. Harry had told Remus? Oh god. Of course Harry didn't know about Hermione and Remus, he didn't know what he had done. "What did Remus do Harry?" she whispered.
"He stalked off looking really mad. I know he is disappointed in Sirius for this. But that's not the problem. The problem is, I realized that Sirius does love her, and I just want them to be happy. But now Remus will give Sirius a hard time, and so Sirius won't try with Hermione. What do I do?" Harry said.
"I have to go!" Ginny said, running off and leaving her boyfriend behind. She had to get to the library and tell Hermione Remus knew. This was becoming a huge mess.
Harry watched his girlfriend run off. What was with everyone today?
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Hermione knocked gently on his door. "Remus? Are you there?" she said softly. It was going to be difficult to face him, but her concern for his health overwhelmed her fear of everything.
Remus sighed. Why was she here? Why wasn't she with Sirius? Off shagging behind a tree or something?
He stalked to the door, his anger and hatred seeping out of every pore. "What?" he snarled, opening the door.
She stood there, looking tired, but with concern in her eyes. "I'm sorry." she whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Hermione studied him as she spoke, he looked tired, his eyes were red, and the smell of alcohol on his breath was strong.
Remus looked into her brown eyes, and realized he couldn't hate her. He wanted to despise her so bad. He wanted to scream at her and tell her he knew. He wanted to ask her if she enjoyed breaking his heart and sleeping with Sirius, but he couldn't make his mouth form those words.
He wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. He realized something else in that moment. While her eyes were full of concern, they showed no sign of love anymore. She looked at him as a friend, someone she cared about, but not someone she loved.
"I'm fine. I am tired though. I will talk to you tomorrow after class or something." Remus muttered, "Please leave me alone tonight." he said, shutting the door in her face.
Hermione sighed and made her way to the common room. Why couldn't she love Remus, it would make things easy. He looked so beat up and tired after his transformation, she had wanted to comfort him, but had realized she didn't feel that extra 'thing' she was supposed to feel.
Hermione stopped in the great hall. The room was empty now, dinner was over. She let her eyes fall on the staff table, the chair where Sirius at every meal. She sighed. "Why did I have to fall in love with you?" she whispered.
Sirius sighed as he slipped back in the shadows. She had come in the room looking so lost and hurt. He had been ready to go to her, hold her, confess his love, and apologize for his cruel worlds. He was going to reassure her he would make everything okay.
Sirius was stopped when she looked up at Lupin's chair and whispered to herself. "Why did I have to tall in love with you?"
He had slunk back quickly. Not wanting her to see him now. Of course she loved Remus. Sirius turned and left the room, leaving her standing there lost in her own pain.
His pain was smothering him, and nothing was going to save him but her. "If only…" he whispered to himself. "If only…"
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a/n: Don't you want to knock their head's together?
Thank You:
Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed my story because I have now had 100 reviews, and I have never had that many on any story I have written yet! 100 reviews and no flames. I never thought that would happen. You are all so wonderful!
Rane2920072: Don't worry about the swearing, most of the time it's part of my vocabulary. I hope Sirius and Hermione get over it and grow up also! Thanks for the review!
JHenn: Sorry about the delay updating, I didn't mean to keep everyone waiting this long. I hope you liked the update, and thank you for the review!
Lucidshard: Thank you for sticking with my story. Sometimes I'll re-read it, and I can see what you mean about how it starts off shaky. Thanks for giving it some time, and I hope you continue to love it!
Raven176: I know what you mean about the book marked stories. I have about 50, between Harry Potter, Charmed and Phantom of the Opera. I can't keep up with them, and half the time, I have to go back and re-read part of each one when it's updated because I can't remember which one is which LoL! I am glad to see another who doesn't like Snape/Hermione. Everyone always thinks I'm weird because I don't like them. I have only liked 3 stories about them, and they were just okay. Never tried a Draco/Hermione story, I might have to.
EsScaper: The bra on the couch was kinda cute. Poor Ginny's face would be so red if she knew Sirius saw it. I thought about it when Harry asked Sirius if 'Mione slept with him, because I thought the same thing you did, Harry would trust Hermione more than that, but, for the purpose of my story, I had him ask LoL! I wouldn't let anything happen to Sirius's pretty face, don't worry about that! Thanks for the wonderful reviews, I'm always excited about what you are going to say!
Stacey: Thank you for another wonderful review, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Vanessa: Thank you so much. This was a plot bunny that kept running in my head, so I finally had to turn it loose and see what happens.
Cookiedoughicecream: Thanks for the review. I am still struggling with what I am going to do with the Sirius/Remus confrontation that will have to take place soon. I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't want to take either man out of character either. I am working on that part now!
BrennaM: Thanks for the review. I did feel bad for Remus, having to find out like that. And poor Harry doesn't even know he broke his friend's heart by delivering the news.
Surrounded by Idiots: Aw, don't worry about not review every chapter, I don't mind. I lose the internet all the time, my modem is very picky. Sirius is being really immature about things, and I think it's because he's never been in love before, and doesn't know how to handle it. Plus, he's use to girls throwing themselves at his feet, he's never had to chase one down before. I love super sweet old Sirius as well though, so I'm sure he'll make a come back soon!
Fanfickerfan: I love that song as well. I love anything by Maroon 5. I tried to use songs I love for each of these chapters. There are only two that I don't really like but they fit the chapter. Thanks for the review!
IvoriTickler: I can just see Remus screaming into a pillow, poor guy. I hate that I had to break his heart in this story, because he is one of my favorite characters, and I love Remus/Hermione stories. Thanks for the review!
SpiffySquirrel: LoL, I love your name. Thanks for the review. Sorry it took so long to get an update, I had a busy week and couldn't get one out as soon as I wanted to. Here you go though!
DarkRaven-04: Sorry about the delay updating, and sorry about leaving you on a cliff. I hope you forgive me (Author is making puppy dog face) Pretty please? LoL. Thanks for the review!
Amoura Avalon: Don't worry about the language, like I told Rane, it's part of my daily vocabulary! I'm glad to get a reaction like that out of anyone, so I grinned when I read your review. By the way, you are my hundredth reviewer! Thank you! (Author throws confetti) I've never had 100 reviews on any of my stories before!