Alright, alright, okay, okay!
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Because my story was removed for 'grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors', which, coincidently, never were present in this fic at ANY time, I'm willing to give FFnet the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were aiming for the crude, stupid, unintelligable story next to mine.
All that aside, as I said last time, this fic was for a challenge fic that I can't find anymore, so if you recognize this as a response to your challenge, give me a whistle and I'll dedicate it the fic to you by name instead of being all vague like this.
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Disclaimer: HP not owned here
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Severus Snape could honestly say he had never been more furious then when he saw the powdered Billywig strings going into the cauldron.
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The double second year potions class of Slytherins and Ravenclaws had been working on a simple concoction to kill pesky weeds. He'd paired up the students, made sure no one was working with someone from their own House.
He'd just been informing a Ravenclaw girl in excruciating detail how her brew was far too clumpy when he heard the words no Potion's teacher should ever hear - "Uh, I don't think we were supposed to add that now…"
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Whirling, he saw one of the Slytherins emptying a sack of powered Billywig strings into his cauldron while the boy's Ravenclaw partner was vainly telling him to wait until they had added the pureed eagle livers.
He had swooped over, the angry expression making both boys flinch, but then he'd glanced down.
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Uh-oh -
Snape had instantly ducked as the contents of this cauldron exploded. It was only made worse when the mess mixed with the half-done mixes everyone else had.
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A series of explosions later, the Potion's Classroom was an unrecognizable, steaming cave. Snape had deducted fifty points from both Slytherin and Ravenclaw - he was furious enough to give both boy's a week's worth of detention with him, during which they would be cleaning off the acidic gunk that even now was still eating away the walls.
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But now there was a worse problem. All potion's classes were canceled while Snape went to see Dumbledore. It only got worse when the Headmaster laughed and waved it off, saying something along the lines of 'Your problem, you deal with it - and be creative!'
Snape paused in his pacing of the Entrance Hall, eyes on the door that lead to the kitchens. Creative, eh? He'd show them 'Creative'! Snape smirked as he went to speak with the house elves.
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The next morning, every single student received a notice in the mail.
"Attention: Since the destruction of the Potion's Classroom three days ago, all Potion's classes have been changed to Cooking Classes until repairs are completed. Each class will meet Prof. Snape in the Entrance Hall at the beginning of their scheduled class times."
Ron Weasley shared a dumbfounded look with his friend Hermione Granger. Harry Potter just scooped more sausage onto his plate. Fred and George were sitting next to him, laughing - they had Potions/Cooking first.
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"Can you just see Snape cooking?" Fred asked.
"Wearing a big chef's hat and a frilly apron?"
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They laughed even harder after that mental image.
"Yeah, tell us how it is," Ron said.
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They had their usual morning classes, and went to lunch as usual. At lunch though, they saw something that completely killed their appetites. Fred and George were pale and spoke only in hushed tones.
"How bad was it? Did he poison you?"
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"It was…unbelievable…" Fred said reverently.
"I'll never look at him the same way again…" George agreed.
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All over the place, students were walking around with dazed expressions. Needless to say, Harry, Ron, and even Hermione were very nervous as they waited in the Entrance Hall.
Draco Malfoy was smug, alternating between comments of how cooking was low-level servant work and predictions of everyone in Gryffindor blowing up the kitchens. Snape appeared right at the bell.
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"Everyone leave your books over here-" Snape pointed with his wand, "-You won't need them."
Silently, everyone left their books in a corner of the Hall before following Snape down the stairs.