Disclaimer: Maybe it would be easier to stop doing these and just get sued... I do not own Wild Arms 3 or the Guardians—I only own the crazy things they do for attention. I like reviews... and making peoples day. It's nice to make peoples days and for reviews to make my day... I still LOVE.YOU.PEOPLE. (Platonically!) and shall continue to try and update as often as possible. It's not so much as lack of ideas that I cannot update, but lack of time. School... damn school... though I should be lucky to have school since a lot of people don't. School... I kind of love you school... (Platonically!)

Chapapanga was the first to lean down and poke the still body. Poke... poke... poke... " It's really quite fun, you all should join in." He said in the usual high-munchkin voice. Poke...poke...

Wiffle bats long abandoned, everything was at a stand still until they're leader woke up. Yes, they had quietly accepted the fact that they're hand eye coordination was that of a head-less ant and they did in fact need a certain Fire Guardians help.

Poke...poke...poke...

"You know, we'll need an awful lot of Luck for him to wake up again. Luckily, I'm the Guardian of Luck. Then again... that means Bad Luck too... so my pokes could just be a fingery death sentence for him."

Poke...poke...poke...

It didn't take but two meager seconds before Chapapanga found himself pinned beneath a growling giant white tiger. "Stop poking my friend!" Fengalon roared.

"Now, now... this is the stuff that Moor Gault was talking about." Celesdue stepped forward and parted the two fuming Guardians. "We need to figure out what to do while he's unconscious. Maybe get ahead on our Plans." She spoke calmly.

"Right..." Fengalon looked downcast as Chapapanga straightened up. "If only there was some way to alter time so that we could go back to when Moor Gault wasn't wiffled..." As the white tigers words fumbled their way from the mouth to each ear in the vicinity, a new idea sparked.

"Dan Dairam, would you mind coming up front for a second?" Celesdue called back for the fully clothed cat.

"May I be at your service, Madam?" Dan Dairam stepped forward with a deep-set bow that always made the Moon Guardian blush. Then she remembered the task.

"Dan Dairam, we need to go back in time. Can you do that for us possibly? Go back to before we wiffled Moor Gault?"

"No problem, my lady—"

"Wait, wait, wait... hold up... we can do this without the red dragon, we can use our new found ability to morph time to our sick, twisted, revenge." Grudiev now stepped forth and spoke. A hush of agreement murmured through the rest of the Guardians.

"Oh! Oh! We can go back to when Lucied was just hernia and destroy her!" Fengalon piped in.

"That's just disturbing... Do you even know what a hernia is, Fengalon?" Celesdue asked skeptically.

"I assumed it was a kind of taco topping... but if that idea doesn't work: let's just go back to when Lucied was a puppy and 'put her down'." An evil smirk spread across every face and muzzle.

Dan Dairam gave another deep bow, yellow eyes twinkling ominously. "As you wish."

And all he ever said was 'as you wish'. And she was amazed to find one day, that he wasn't really saying 'as you wish', but ' I love you'.

"Ummm, can we keep to this story please?"

Oh, right. And so, the adventure through infinity and beyond was about to begin.

Everyone rubbed their eyes as a blinding light flashed about them. "Welcome to the past." Dan Dairam said as he swept an elegant wave of the paw.

They all looked around and spotted a little violet dot on the horizon, moving fast. " I'm gonna beat you to the hill top!" A shout echoed down across the land.

The purple dot moved closer and they soon found a tiny Lucied stopping at a halt as a panting figure caught up to her. "That was fun!" Lucied shouted happily, prancing around the tried being. "Again?" It was more of a demand then a question as the other organism stood up and readied for another race.

"You see, a Guardian is formed when the element it is bound to becomes too large for even the planet itself to manage, so the access elemental matter is put into a being who thrives off of such matter; a Guardian. But after the Guardian has been around for a long time, its connection to the planet grows so strong that they can no longer survive without one another." Dan Dairam explained. "This is the person who created all that excess Desire to form Lucied." He pointed one claw over at the shadow next to the prancing puppy.

"Florina?!" Celsedue was the first to shout as she saw the girl smile bashfully down at Lucied. "But, but, but, but..."

Just then Florina burst into a fit of maniacal laughter as her eyes turned a deep crimson red. Lucied's tail wagged happily as a rosy pink tongue popped its way out the Desire Guardians mouth.

"OH MY DEITY!!!" Celesdue shrieked.

"Oh... by the way, Florina's actually an android." Dan Dairam added as a side note. "She was created by someone or another some time ago to try and destroy the planet."

"But she loves flowers and Filgaia, once she gave me a flower." Grudiev pulled out a dried up pansy.

"Hmmm... let's see why she loves flowers." And with another deep bow, Dan Dairam and the other Guardians went spinning through time.

They all saw the bright flash of light again only a different scene greeted theme after words.

It showed Florina in her little patch of flowers, watering diligently. She stood up and looked proudly around her before whispering, "Now, these flowers of the Earth will attract Grudiev so I can push him off the cliff ledge!" Another fit of maniacal laughter broke the air.

"Hey! That's sounds a lot like what we... weird..." Fengalon was mystified while Grudiev intruded angrily. "What?! Why would she do that?! I mean, she's never tried anything else on me!"

"Then, let us go nearer to the present day." Dan Dairam bowed again and time shifted once more.

Whoa... more bright flashing lights... Déjà vu.

"Okay... I see myself over there. And, see! She's giving me a flower!" Grudiev pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Here's your flower, Mr. Grudiev." Florina handed a flower over to alternate Grudiev innocently.

Grudiev took a deep whiff of the tiny pansy as Florina took a step behind his scaly back, pulling a knife from beneath her dress and holding it above her head menacingly.

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN

Grudiev's head bolted upright. "Where'd that music come from?!" Florina shoved the knife back inside her dress, smiling sweetly. "It was just the song of the flowers." She said softly. "Oh... OK..." Grudiev turned back around to sniff the flower. Florina lifted the knife slowly...

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN

"What was that?!" Grudiev bolted up again and Florina hide the knife. "Nothing... go back to being completely oblivious to what's happening around you..."

"No... I should get going now. Thanks for the flower though!" And with that, alter-Gurdiev bumbled along his merry way.

Florina looked ahead at the figure towering off along it's way before throwing her blade down dejectedly. "DAMN YOU FORESHADOWING ORCHESTRA BACKGROUND MUSIC!!! DAMN YOU!!!" She shouted into the Filgaian sky.

"Wow... so Florina is actually a immortal android who's been around for a long time and was created by some people to destroy the planet and she used her desire for friendship to create Lucied and now she plants flower and stuff to try and attract then kill Grudiev because of his connection to the planet?" Celesdue asked in one sharp breath.

"Yes, wonderful summary. And all this homicidal android wanted was a friend. You people should be ashamed of yourselves." As Dan Dairam spoke, Schturdark bowed her head shamefully.

"Who cares about all this stuff anyway? Except for an emotionally wounded Grudiev... by the way, sorry man, were going to ALL need therapy after THIS... Let's get back to murdering some wolves! Dan Dairam, take us back in time so we can kill Lucied and I can eat some hernia's!" Fengalon was getting grumpy from his lack of food for the past few days and giving directions left a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

"I shall warn you... altering the past will create horrible consequences in the future and may even cause the apocalypse to kill every—"

"I SAID I WANT MY TACO TOPPINGS!!!" Fengalon cut off Dan Dairam and a now not-so-blinding light stretched across the expanse.

In a flash and one milli-second, they were now back at the scene with Lucied and Florina racing across the Filgaian hills.

"Awww, that's still adorable." Schturdark said with a slight purr.

"Awww, this is what you get for trying to kill the Guardian of Earth." Grudiev powered up for his Planet Breaker and everyone backed up as the winds began to howl and the ground beneath cracked.

"Do you hear that?" Lucied whispered as they watched the sky darken. "It's the sound of the screeching eels... I mean; it's the sound of an enemy. We must run for our—"

And a bright flash of light and roar of tremendous power echoed across the landscape. Dan Dairam smiled gaily, happy to know that it wasn't him who was causing the light for once.

"Now," Grudiev panted, as aw spread amongst them as they witnessed the cracked and demolished Filgaia earth that used to be perfectly clean and smooth. "Let's go back to the future."

'Damn...' The Chrono-Cat thought bitterly as he waved a fine paw and a light covered the destroyed area and going to the future again.

"Oh my Guardians! What have we done? Filgaia's turned into a wasteland!" Fengalon wailed before catching himself. "Oh... right."

Celesdue took a quick look around. "Everything seems normal... looks like we've finished the story with no moral value what-so-ever."

I THINK NOT.

Just then, something made itself visible along the horizon line. It looked to be flying, but not like Lombradia or one of the doves/crows that existed every few towns. As it made it's way closer and closer, the shape became more definite and looked like a witch in a classic pose. In fact it was... but a very different kind of witch...

"Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts." The witch zoomed in on a broomstick in front of the dazed Guardians. She looked from one to one and made a funny face. "My, you are quite a bunch of magical beasts. Best get Hagrid on this one."

"You have a scar on your forehead...like the mark of Nua Shakks..." Celesdue said, still a bit confused, before clasping a hand over her mouth. "My Goodness! You're a dude in a dress!"

"It's a ROBE." He who was a she for a while said defensively.

"Erm, where ARE we?" Celesdue asked quietly.

"Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As new students, you'll love it here, I know I do!" (Platonically...?)

"No! Were in Filgaia! Where's Gallows? Where's Rudy? Where's Keil? Where's Florina? Where's Pike? Where's Mirabelle? Where's Pookie? Where's HanPan? Where is my Filgaia with interesting characters and plot line? But most of all, WHERE'S MY HERNIA?!" Fengalon wailed a bit in shock.

"Oh, J.K. Rowling bought Media Vision years ago to create a Harry Potter and the Sirius is Dead and Had No Children so Get Used to that Fact game to help girls around the world cope. The old M.V. Company was always missing something that was a key element in their ideas... something that made people say, ' wow, that's really cool and different and purple'. So, they went bankrupt." The wizard explained with a smile on his face.

"NOOOOOO!!! Dan Dairam, take us back! Take us back!" Fengalon ran over and shook the poor cat by the rough of his neck. Dan Dairam parted from the hysterical Guardian and took a deep bow.

Blinding light...yada, yada....

They all looked around and spotted a little violet dot on the horizon, moving fast. " I'm going to beat you to the hill top!" A shout echoed down across the land.

"Good, now no one attack!" Celesdue said.

And no one did. So it seemed appropriate to go back to the future, knowing that no one would attack Lucied or Florina at this time.

Light. 'Nuff said on that part. Big words confuse me anyway.

And it collapsed.

"Nope, not far enough ahead."

More light...

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN

"Still no good."

THE LIGHT! IT BURNS! IT—nah, I'm just joshing with you.

And so Lucied trotted off unto impending doom and whatnot. Or is it...?

"No good! We already know she doesn't die!"

Dan Dairam was panting for air but managed to gasp out, "I've run out of FP you guys, we need to stay here for a moment."

"But think of the future! We must change it!" Celesdue begged with pleading puppy-dog eyes. Dan Dairam panted before taking a deep breath and shifting through the sands of time once again.

Darkness. A pleasant, yet unexpected change from all the light that had been flashing.

"Cat thing, I think were still in the fourth dimension of time and space... we need to get out of here." Celesdue said and marveled at the darkness. " Dan Dairam?"

And an exploding sound destroyed all sense of the word 'pleasant' at the moment.

"Dan Dairam!" Fengalon race over and picked up what seemed to be the head of a violet talking cat. Blood was gushing out of what used to be a connection between the neck and chin. "My Guardians... you've spontaneously decapitated!" Fengalon said shocked as Dan Dairam managed to speak while still a living head. "Take my last power to go back to the unaltered future... continue my quest... and my legacy... my only regret is that I... is that I... I..." And a mortal silence filled the darkness.

And WolfbanesHybrid ran to the toilet to vomit a bit before explaining a simple theory to all people. "Guardians can't die as long as the planet continues giving them the element they need to survive, but a Guardian can fade in power as the planet fades in power. So, when a Guardian 'dies' they actually go up to meet Solus Emsu up in heaven (Solus Emsu being the Guardian of Heaven) and have cocktails until they figure they have to go down to the planet because of all the access elements that may be over-stuffing Filgaia or that Filgaia is in danger at the moment or because they are connected to the planet and severing that connection for too long could mean certain doom. The Guardians themselves have never died (this being a strange and nearly non-existent act) that often before, so Solus Emsu's cocktail parties are rather empty. There's a Guardian up there who is extremely lonely. But, if Moor Gault had been awake, he probably would have rejected the idea of going back in time and went back to being an intellectual snot who I can't help but love. Love him I say, love him. (Maybe not platonically...). I hope that explains something. So, everyone who has 'died' so far is not dead, that's why there was no real grieving or anything. And, partly because I thought that would really dampen the mood and make people sad. No one wants to laugh at a grieving party. Which are less fun then a cocktail party and ten times more depressing. Anyway, I hope I haven't left you nightmares of headless cat's for lifetimes to come."

Fengalon dropped the now vacant of speech head and sighed deeply. "Let's go back now that we've gone and made the future normal again."

They all transported back in time with the remainder of the energy Dan Dairam left them. All was quiet and solemn now that they had lost another comrade when...

"My name is Asgard!" A shadowy figure loomed out of now where. At least it wasn't another transvestite.

"Okay... what do you do?" Justine summoned the Courage to speak to the frightening figure before him while everyone else was still a bit out of it.

"I follow your every whim!" Asgard spoke loudly back.

"Can you mix a martini?" Justine questioned.

"Yes, Master!"

"You've got a long job ahead of you."

"Okay, it's taken a week more then originally planned and five cups of coffee on top of all that soda, but we've done it!" Virginia looked proudly at the laptop on her lap. Her hair was frizzed and her eyes had black circles under them, but she was unfazed herself. In fact, she felt like bouncy up and down and shouting random words really fast. That would have to happen later. "We can track whatever Asgard sees through the link connecting the laptop and the camera inside the ten gallon hat on Asgard's head!" She said triumphantly before turning back to the laptop. "Hmmm... the screen shows that the camera is looking at a pair of boots. Hey! They look just like mine!" She piped angrily.

"Ummm, Virginia? Your holding the hat in your hands still." Gallows said sheepishly as Virginia look away from the computer screen and at the hat held within her grasp. "...Dammit..." She cursed under her breath.

"And maybe we should untie the Schreodingers, they're beginning to smell." He then pointed to the three humans and a cat tied to a nearby tree where they had remained for quite some time since their kidnap for the use of their high-tech laptop and camera.

"We can just leave them there for awhile longer, if they die, they can't sue us for kidnapping them!" Virginia smiled as she spoke.

"Virginia... if there died we could go to Jail. That would be five murders on our heads." Clive spoke up for his first time in awhile.

"The camera..." Jet mumbled.

"We'll bury the bodies!" Virginia spoke evilly. Maybe she's an android too... O.O

"The camera!" Jet shouted

"Ack! The camera's still on! Turn it off! Turn it off!" And the laptop screen went black after the sound the female leader's frantic yells.