Disclaimer: I do not own Wild Arms 3 and at this point I highly doubt I ever will. Back to my ordinary response time: Oh, Katfay, you read my story, I see, I appreciate the review a whole bunch! Luna-Starr, I like your penname, and thanks for reading the story and enjoying it! Gallows' Stalker… If you were a puffin I would enslave you in my closet and hold you there. (Erm, that was a compliment. It means thank you in maniacal stalker) TetsuoTsubushi, your mind is on the same track as mine, so I suggest you turn your train around before we crash and take a thousand people with us. Teefa and Co, I like your new penname, and thank you for the review—my sympathy goes out to you and my laughs extend towards your Chorus Teacher's song choice. And the great KillerChicken, thanks for reviewing and you may not throw your cats anywhere. Enjoy this seemingly pointless and random chapter!

" Come on, Asgard, say it."

" Do I have to?"

" Yes, now say it!"

" I am angst-bot, hear me sigh." Asgard said dejectedly, often longing to pull out its boredom unit before wondering why it even had a boredom unit. Asgard's pondering was soon cut off by another demand from the Merciless Queen.

" Now sigh at the end." Celesdue poked Asgard.

" I am angst-bot, hear me sigh, (sigh). Will that be all, Master?" Asgard said, secretly praying that there wasn't. This was worse then the time that Melody had programmed it to attack Malik whenever he got annoying.

" Yes, that is all Asgard." Celesdue said with approval while waving the giant metal figure away, probably to give another drink to Justine for the lion to wash down quickly.

" Maybe we should tell Asgard to hold up on those drinks…" Fengalon said a bit worriedly.

" Maybe you should tell your mother she's a hamster!" Justine shouted angrily over to the big white tiger whose eyes shifted shiftily. " Who said I had a mother…?" Moor Gault, however, was busy with other less confusing and random matters at hand. He was currently counting the number of comrades—though he was at the point where 'minions' sounded better in his head—with his claws. " Celesdue, Fengalon, Schturdark, Grudiev, Chapapanga, Zephyr and Dan Dairam…" He slowly counted aloud.

" Actually, Dan Dairam has spontaneously decapitated while you were unconscious." Celesdue added in.

" Anything else go on while I was gone?" Moor Gault asked with a slight groan.

"I won 200 thousand gella at a casino." Chapapanga added in happily.

" What happened to it?"

" I bet Grudiev 200,000 gella that he could jump off a 50 ft. cliff and live."

" Oh no, don't tell me…"

" Yup, he lost big time!"

" Then what happened to the gella!"

" I bet the horse that she couldn't eat 20 mini carrots in a row…"Chapapanga blushed as he spoke and gave a sharp squeal as the Guardian before him burst into angry flames.

" MUST I BE SURROUNDED BY INCOMPETENT EXCUSES FOR LIVING, BREATHING TISSUE!" Moor Gault bellowed and Chapapanga coughed a little. " If you want to, we can steal the money back from the horse, come on, she's a horse! What's she going to do with it? Put it all in her will?"

A load bellowing neigh was heard before a muffled 'thud' caused a little of the ground to vibrate. A few feet away, a pure white stallion with an ivory mane and a loose saddle round her back lay on the Filgaian ground, pulsating with a strange green aura. The horse was as dead as a dog. Or a horse, or a dog that was as fat as a horse partly contributing to the reason it died. The point being that the horse was absolutely dead to our current knowledge.

" Don't worry, she's only mostly dead!" Schturdark managed to run to the horse and check.

" Mostly dead? Can we still save her?"

" It will take a miracle…" Her words trailed of as the almost-dead horse's almost rotting corpse pulsated a bit more before exploding in a mass of pink entrails and red speckles of blood. " Never mind!" Shcturdark shouted while wiping a chunk of gallbladder off of her face with a flipper.

" Ugh… We've lost our money to a dead exploding horse carcass and now we need a new crazy plot scheme to fight Desire, so I'm open for suggestion if anyone's willing to try. If anyone's not willing to try, then we will assist Grudiev in a trip to the nearest medical facility in the area." Moor Gault, not noticing anyone bursting out with ideas or any coherent thoughts at all, decided it was probably best to escort the internally bleeding and bruised Grudiev lying unconscious at the bottom of a 50 ft. cliff.

" Now that that's done with," Moor Gault spoke while clapping his wings together after walking out from an inn located in Claiborne. " It's time to go to the stables to see if we can refund the horse. You still carrying it, Chappy?" No response came from the little munchkin elf thingy underneath the mass of broken blood vessels and tissue that was smoldering in it's own decay (a.k.a. The former mostly dead horse) until a small sound came from underneath that sounded something like, " Does it look like I'm still carrying it, you hippopotamic land mass!"

" Good. Oh, hey Pike! How are you today?" Moor Gault strode up to the green-haired man and put a wing around his back.

" Oh my Guardians! Cecilia, what have they done to you!" Pike yelled as he watched the mass of horse twitch slightly.

" That…? Oh, that's nothing. Say, Pike old chap, do you take exchanges?" He pressed.

" Oh my… What have you done to her!" The enraged teen spat as the Guardians looked down bashfully.

" Oh that… Well, you see, funny story really… The R.O.U.S. got her…" Celesdue spoke quickly.

" Ridiculous Opaque Unicorn Snipers? I don't think they exist." Pike said simply.

" Well, it's a long story… Let me explain, no, that takes too long—let me summarize, we were walking through the fields one days and this bullet flies out of nowhere and it explodes 'Cecilia' and we see a Unicorn that isn't clear and is acting ridiculous, so we chase it for four score and seven years until it caught Moor Gault and held him at ransom so we went on a crazy adventure to go save him when all of a sudden this dream demon comes and it turns out she's been manipulating everyone and so we run after her until we remember that we left Moor Gault behind so I go back and kick some major ass before going and kicking some major dream demon ass and then we all go and try to save 'Cecilia', but it's too late already."

" None of that happened did it?"

" …No, except for that part where we chase the Unicorns for four score and seven years."

" That was a dream, wasn't it?"

" …Yes…" Celesdue whispered dejectedly before leaving the rest for Moor Gault to figure out.

" Listen up!" The red dragon spat with fury. " I want to talk to your manager and/or co-workers right now because this horse isn't getting any fresher and less revolting!"

" Swash da mashter 'ere?" A man wobbled out of the stable house nearby and presented himself to the band of Guardians with dignity and pride. " Shwell? Swhash shall da druble?" Schturdark let out a little giggle at the short man's accent and he wobbled over to her. " Swhash da mashter, yoush big shturtle! Gosht a proshblem wit mesh!"

" No… it's just (giggle)… You're wearing such a cute little tuxedo and while you look so cute when you speak and eat fish at the same time (heheheheheh)!" Schturdark was close to bursting out laughing while Celesdue took another look at the 'man'.

" He's a penguin!" She came to revelation as she took a closer look at the penguin that was currently trying to eat a fish and retaliate against that last comment by waving his fat little penguin arms.

" Ish amsh nosh a pengshuin! Ish a—" The penguin thing took a big gulp and finished swallowing the fish in final slurping sound. " Excuse me, I am a creature by the name of 'Damien." 'Damien' said with a swell of his plushy chest.

" Oh… Well then, what happened to the other guy that used to run the stable? The guy that first sold us those horses?" Celesdue asked curiously.

" He ate him!" Pike wailed and pointed an accusing finger at Damien.

" Nonsense, human flesh gives me a sneeze." He said and stood a few minutes proudly until a sneeze erupted from his nose.

" See! He ate the man who used to work here!" Pike exclaimed.

" What do you know? You don't even know his name!" Damien retorted.

" Nobody knows his name! It's the unwritten law of the NPC!" Zephyr added in, feeling a little left out after not being mentioned once in the entire story.

" I also know that evil penguins have been eating NPC's around Filgaia for the past month and that you are their tyrant king!" Pike said.

" When, green-wad?"

" Just yesterday you said 'I am the evil penguin tyrant king'."

" You have nothing on me." Damien said flatly before turning back to the Guardians who were a bit dazed and confused at the current moment. " I believe a few hours before your horse's mostly death and complete death, she deposited a hefty amount of gella into her will. Around 199,999 I presume. Come and we will read it out in the stable."

All the Guardians, horses, Pike's and not-evil penguin tyrants were sitting on the hay inside the stable, anxiously awaiting the reading of Cecilia's will.

" Fellow peoples who are here today to witness the reading of my will, if you are listening I am obviously not here anymore. I may be on a vacation to Hawaii, or dead, or possibly in your subconscious—but I am definitely not here right now." Damien cleared his throat a bit before continuing. " This is how my new and revised will reads—

1. I give my morning food collection to Aunt Susanna

2. I leave my brush and/or Diobarg scale comb to Pike

3. I send my 199,999 gella to the other horses

4. And finally, I give my best wishes to Malik on that whole clone mother thing."

There were a few seconds of complete and utter silence before Moor Gault shot an accusing glare at Chapapanga. " What's the horse going to do? Put it in her will!" The strain in the dragon's voice was enough to wash a bowl of spaghetti.

" Actually, I said it more like—" But Chappy was soon cut off by another outburst.

" I don't care what you said it like! We have no money and evil penguins are eating all the NPC's in Filgaia, who knows where Lucied is and I haven't seen Justine in the past five hours! I AM IN A SHIT-TACULAR MOOD AND I WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE!" Moor Gault screamed.

" Good, because there are still fresh NPC's to kill." Damien butted in the conversation after he was done putting away the will and handing the money out to the horses who went back to their stalls to figure out what a horse is supposed to do with 199,999 gella.

" I knew it!" Pike shouted in glory as Damien waved it off with a flipper. " Yeah, yeah, great job Sherlock, but you can't do anything to stop us before we've eaten all the NPC's in the world and the evil penguins rule supreme."

" Then the NPC's will rise up to stop you!" Pike said in an act of defiance as the two beings glared down at one another with stares that would make Ge Ramtos feel insignificant.

" … Right… Well, ahem… I think we'll just be… Taking our leave now…" Moor Gault coughed as he edged towards the doorway leading out of the stable before bolting for his bloody life, the other Guardians followed suit.

The battle between NPC and Evil Penguin was about to begin…

But not right now…

Maybe tomorrow, or maybe the next day, maybe never… But it will happen… I swear on the grave of my father Domingo Montoya, the battle will come.

" Justine… Justine… Hellooooooooo in there…" Fengalon waved a paw in front of Justine's faced, watching bemusedly as he swatted it away.

" Leave me alone, you overstuffed piece of muffin pie!" Justine growled.

" Somebody's cranky today! Just how many drinks have you had since we left?" Fengalon questioned the Guardian of Courage.

" Being a lion whose tolerance is above a normal human beings and being a Guardian who is known for his Courage to take a risk at getting Alcohol Poisoning… I'd say he'd have had at least 50." Celesdue calculated before Asgard chimed in with a more correct amount.

" He's had approximately 549.2 drinks in the pastfive hours that you have not been present." The Invincible Fortress proclaimed.

" How can someone have 549.2 drinks?" Moor Gault asked, seeing no almost finished glasses in sight.

" He drank 2/10 of it then threw the rest at me." Asgard said with a sigh. Schturdark gave Asgard a sympathetic pat on the back as Moor Gault tried to reason things out. " I think one of us should talk to Justine a bit." He said with concern edging his voice.

" I don't think it's much use talking to someone who has had 549.2 drinks and keeps referring to the word 'muffin', the deadliest of all breakfast products." Asgard reasoned.

" Well then, we can at least find out if he's a friendly drunks, an angry drunk, or a seductive drunk." Celesdue said back eyeing every Guardian there as each one shrank down to the task.

" Hey, I've got an idea." Moor Gault said, putting a friendly arm around Chapapanga.

" So… Do you enjoy punching things?"

" What kind of things?"

" Oh, you know… Punching bags, burritos, swordfish, other people…"

" Sometimes, do you?"

" No! Never! Punching people… Now that's—that's just mean and irresponsible and, please don't hurt me as I ask you another question."

" Shoot."

" Erm, okay then," Chapapanga flipped through the notes they had given him on what to ask the currently intoxicated Justine. " Do you enjoy party hats, taco's, and inflatable chairs?"

" To a certain extent."

" Okay, next question. Do you enjoy talking creatures of a female gender into bed?"

" No."

" What about… men…?" ' Awkward…' Chapapanga flinched as he thought that.

" Maybe… You coming on to me munchkin, our else I'll have to kick your ass—" Justine growled as Chapapanga's thoughts raced to escape. ' Oh Giant Gerbil in the Sky, mean drunk, mean drunk!'

"—Right after we play Twister and Dance Dance Revolution…" Chapapanga calmed down at hearing Justine's words. ' Friendly drunk!'

"—But not before I hit up on some people!" Justine put an armored arm around Chapapanga, who cringed visibly. ' Seductive drunk…'

" One more question, if I were to tell you that I was going to make you go to a 'special' meeting, would you disembowel me?"

" Yes, but not before neutering you and stringing your intestines around my head like a hat." Justine said with a grin and a pat on the little Luck's back before standing up and falling back down again. " So… Is this really about the questions, or am I really right at thinking what I'm thinking right now?"

" It all depends, are you thinking of running for your life in terror?"

" No, I'm thinking of eating muffins and getting a hair cut while Asgard gives me another drink. ASGARD!" Justine shouted as the little man next to him flinched again. Asgard waddled over in dismay. " Yes, Master?"

" Can I have another rainbow cup?"

" I'm sorry, Master, but such things have yet to exist in this current dimension."

" What would you know you muffin munching crypto maniac!" Chapapanga looked in a mix between fascination and horror as Asgard's normally metallic brown face turned a deep shade of red and it's face contorted in anger.

" I think I will just be leaving now…" The caped munchkin scratched the back of his hooded head as he spoke aloud, edging away from the scene.

" You, Master, are thrice as annoying as you appear to be!"

" You—You flying, talking, squirrel—are cubed that times infinity!"

" What you said wasn't even logical!"

" Your mama isn't logical!"

" I have no biological parents!"

" Your parents have no biological parents!"

" As much as I love hearing Justine shout incoherent sentences at a high volume, this has to stop!" Chapapanga spoke up for himself, stepping in between the two fuming beasts.

" You forgot me during the holiday special, you stupid lion!"

" Don't blame me for the author's mistake, you sadistic robot!"

" Ummm… Guy's…"

" Die, you evil excuse for an excuse!"

" No, you die you… you!"

" WOULD YOU BOTH JUST SHUT THE - BLEEP- UP!"

Asgard and Justine stopped their seemingly endless tirade to let out a surprised gasp.

" Your not allowed to utter the 'one dash then a B' word in a PG-13 story!" Asgard whispered.

" And your not allowed to come back to life from nothingness to fight with the Guardian of Courage, but you don't see ME complaining!" Chapapanga retorted before calming down and resuming his adorable, 'who-knows-what-the-hell-that-thing-is-it's-short-and-cute' look, straightening his hat and goggles in the process. " We need to calm down and work together if we ever hope to fulfill our ultimate goal."

" What IS our ultimate goal, again?" Justine asked.

" I don't know, I've forgotten—But that's not the point, guys. We all banded together to prove something to the world—to show them that we aren't some kind of comical relief that can be used only when the time is right, no, we are Guardians and need to be treated with the respect we deserve… Or we banded together to dominate the world or something, I really can't remember." As Asgard was about to remind the forgetful and somewhat idiotic two, a giant bomb flew past the metal-man and straight at the large lion.

In an explosion of fur, cheap armor and bits and pieces of gallbladder splattered over the surrounding area. Schturdark rushed past a stunned and scarred for life Chapapanga—who's mouth was opened wide and face was splattered in blood—over to the scattered remains of what used to be the Guardian of Courage.

" Don't worry, he's only mostly dead!" She yelled back to the rest, who had come out of hiding behind the rocks.

" Mostly dead? Can we still save her?"

" It will take a miracle…" Schturdark's words wondered off as the bits and pieces of Justine suddenly combusted into flames.

" Never mind!" She shouted as the other Guardians let out a disheartened sigh.

" Well, this has been a total waste of nearly a month of sitting around doing nothing at all, we should have gotten Lucied by now!" Moor Gault went back into a fit of anger as Chapapanga snapped his fingers. " So THAT'S what we were doing!"

Moor Gault shook his head and looked down at the crimson splattered ground. " Does this even make any sense? Where did that bomb come from!" He looked around at all of the Guardians one by one before finding one he couldn't recall meeting before.

" Who the hell are you?" He walked up and jabbed a wing in the entity's stomach.

" I am Denogenos, Guardian of the Summit, here to reclaim my starlight and attention from you." The giant brown dinosaur spoke with a booming voice, holding a bazooka in one hand and a daisy in the other.

" You poor, unfortunate soul… So misguided in your evil divining and plots of revenge, do you not see that we are Guardians like yourself? Just because we are more popular and more recognized and a lot more attractive and don't hold flowers doesn't mean that you aren't special. You are special in someone's heart, you just need to wait for that person to come and make other's realize how important you are to the fabric of Filgaia." Moor Gault said with wisdom as Denogenos nearly broke down into tears.

" You really think so?" The dinosaur asked with a sniff.

" No. Now get the hell out of my story." Moor Gault growled as Denogenos straightened itself up and returned to the loud, bellowing voice.

" Mark my words, Fire Deity, you will rue the day you misunderestimated me!"

" And the English language will rue the day it gave you the power of speech. Yeah, yeah, now get out of here before I think of something sinister to do to you, something that involves that daisy and a jug of gasoline." Denogenos gave a final growl before waddling off and muttering sweet obscenities to itself.

Moor Gault waited until the Guardian of Summit was finally gone before voicing his opinion on the matter. " Jeez, what an idiot. Why would anybody want to kill another Guardian for 'starlight and attention'?"

And they all sat in an ironic silence until the next update.

" We're falling out of the story again, you guys!" Virginia pressed as she watched, with her binoculars, the events unfolding beyond the gray line.

" What story? There IS no story left, it's just random nonsense!" Jet responded.

" Aw, looks like somebody's still grumpy about that whole spiked beer thing." Gallows poked Jet who scowled in agitation.

" I say we go back to trying to get that hat on Asgard, we kind of abandoned that idea rather fast." Clive deducted. Virginia pondered over this suggestion for a while in her head.

" No, it's not interesting enough to keep us in the story. Look at us; we're not even funny! We just sit around and watch people all day! A man who lives in a garage could do that and be more interesting than us! I man in a garage DOES do that and he's more interesting than us! We need something random and spontaneous to happen to us. We need a talking dog to come and tell us the future, we need a puffin to eat somebody close to us, we need a plane to crash land on Gallows and than explode." She ignored the 'hey!' in the background at her last comment and continued.

They all waited a while for something to happen, something possibly random and spontaneous.

After a few more seconds of waiting, Virginia caved.

" Give me that!" Virginia said, defeated, as she grabbed the hat from Clive's hands.