AN: this is by me and 2 of my friends. I am Megan, there is Kelly, and Rebekah. This was a joke we made last summer, and I have finally decided to post it. Yes, it is making fun of Harry Potter!
Well, this year I am going to go by if they are good or bad, and how their hair smells. "Abbot Hannah!" GOD what a bad name! Well, she has okay hair and her head is small. (I can see down her shirt!) Well, lets go with Hufflepuff. "Boot Terry!" I don't like his name either but I can't choose them so his hair is ug well, lets just not talk about that! And his feet, so small! How can he stand it? Well I guess Ravenclaw! "Corner Maggie!" Finally! A good name and at least her hair is okay and so Whoa look at the bracelet! OMG How can she stand that is that a cross! Let me get a good look at that! It almost fell off, but lets go with hmmm Hufflepuff. I get in that corner sometimes I can look at it. Well ya'll must think I am a whine case but wait whoa I don't think so. So hmm OMG check out this guys name! Dumas Marisa. God I would be so embarrassed! How can he stand it. Well, this guy should go in Slytherin cause he has black hair and it smells so bad! Well, then Slytherin. Maybe I hope, I am making good choices, well they can't trade me in! I am the only one around! Suckers! "Elmo Emit" hmm Emit Elmo eats eggs. Well there is a lot of E's in his name, and his hair smells like Herbal Essences. God not more E's! He goes to Gryffindor, no E's in sight, and OMG his owl's name is Eerier! God I hate his name! Well, who cares next name! Fredrick Amber umm.. Really, well I like her name, but who cares, Her hair is all greasy ugh! My insides all greasy! She defiantly goes into Slytherin! Ya Slytherin! I need a back wax! Looks like a Fred there is a Fred in Slytherin. I hope. Hmmmm. Why is Dumbledore Staring at me? Can he understand me? Meah! That dumbass can't understand me! He can't understand anything! He never knows what's going on! Man now I feel like washing my hair with Herbal Essences Those E's really get to you! I don't feel like sorting these whine ass kids I am going to pass out! Or at least pretend to. Those kids can be sorted tomorrow! The next person can have really frizz control, I'll pass out as soon as I'm done! Gryffindor! God I said Gryffindor! Can't she hear ME! All the Frizz. I can't stand it. Gosh! I feel so sorry for her boyfriend, wait she can't get a boyfriend! "Potter Harry" Wait, isn't that the freak who went to his aunt and uncles? The one everyone is calling a saint? I should put him in Slytherin. But… he is begging to not be put there.. Meah! His hair isn't greasy enough. Gryffindor! "Weasley, Ronald" Another red head… Gryffindor! "Malfoy Draco" Slytherin, he has too much hair gel! Well, I'll see all you freaks later!
Review. I am posting another chapter eventually! This is hilarious to us! You would understand it if you hung out with us a lot!