Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

Beloved on this Earth

~ 0 ~

'Lois wait!'

Lois halted her descent down the staircase towards her Transfiguration tuition with Minerva and looked up to see Elena Roupe striding along the corridor above her, her wand out guiding a stretcher floating at her side.  Lois spun round and made her way back up the stairs hurrying towards Elena who was waiting for her at the top. 

'Harry!'  Lois exclaimed, on reaching the stretcher and recognising his pale unconscious form.  'What happened?'  She asked Elena, quickly pulling her wand from her sleeve and running it over Harry's still body to find the cause of his condition.

'We were in the middle of class, Potter here was helping me demonstrate how to best deflect a curse – regrettably he was not as quick as I imagined he would be.' She said in a vaguely surprised tone.

By now Lois's quick examination had ascertained that a huge bump to the back of Harry's head seemed to be his only injury and she turned him gently to examine it closer.  'He could have been killed!'  She said in horror seeing the size of the gash, the already drying blood congealing messily in his hair.

'I know!'  Elena said with a hearty laugh as Lois urged her into motion towards the Infirmary, the other woman's longer stride meaning she had to practically trot to keep up with her.  'I tell you, for a minute I really thought he was!'  She continued in her harsh guttural accent.  She sighed when she saw the incredulous stare Lois directed at her on hearing her unfeeling words.  'Don't look so accusing Lois, I had cushioning charms set up.   Unfortunately when the curse hit him, Potter bounced higher than I had anticipated.  The boy has no meat on his bones,' she said with disgust.  'Little bugger practically hit the ceiling.  You're the school nurse.'  She said suddenly with a reproving look at a still gaping Lois.  'Can't you see about feeding him up a bit?' 

Lois didn't respond, somewhat taken aback at how the blame for Roupe cursing Harry into unconsciousness could be laid at her feet.  Luckily at that point they arrived at the Infirmary doors and Lois made to move ahead of the other woman to hold them open.  Not noticing, Elena began lowering her wand, breaking the connection with the stretcher, which shuddered dangerously in mid-air.

'Can I leave him with you from here then?'  Elena asked breezily and Lois, finally realising what she intended, whipped out her wand with a startled squeak, only just managing to spit out the correct spell before Harry plummeted onto the hard stone floor.

'Elena!  I've only just learnt how to even do that!'  She rebuked sharply her heart thumping wildly at the near miss. 

'Sorry Lois.'  The other woman apologised, already walking away.  'I forget sometimes you are still in training, which is a compliment if you think about it!'  She assured with a wide grin.  'Well enough of this chattering - I really must go.  I left Patil and Brown attempting to hex Longbottom, so I may well be back in a minute!'  She laughed again and headed back the way she had come, leaving a still breathless Lois to back awkwardly into the Infirmary, shouting for Poppy as she went.

An hour and one cancelled Transfiguration lesson later, Harry was conscious and ready to return to classes.  Lois took the Pain Potion Poppy had measured out for him and carried it over to the young boy, who was sitting on a chair by the side of one of the beds.

'Is that for me?'  He asked with a weak smile when she reached him, his eyes still shadowed slightly with pain.

'It is, drink it all up.'  She instructed and watched him as he did so.  'You know Harry,' she teased as he stood and handed the glass back to her. 'If you want us to spend more time together, you only have to say; there's really no need to go to these lengths.'

He laughed at her words, before giving a soft groan as his still tender head protested.  He sank down onto the edge of the bed and looked up at her, his expression amused.  'Bit extreme do you think?'  He grinned.

'When it gets to the concussion stage, I'm going to have to say yes.'  Lois smiled back at him, glad to see his pallor had receded from his first arrival.  'How are you really feeling now?' She asked with concern, serious once more.

'Okay.  My head still hurts, but that's starting to go.  How are you?'  He asked quickly an intent gleam in his green eyes.

'Me?  I'm fine.'  Lois replied surprised.  'Why?'

'Because of in your room yesterday?'  He reminded and Lois shook her head annoyed with herself for being so dim.  'You seemed upset.'  He probed carefully.

'It was nothing.'  She said with a wave of her hand.  'I told you - just a bump, I was right as rain ten minutes later.'

Harry stared at her obviously unconvinced, a troubled expression on his face.  'If Snape - Professor Snape,' he amended quickly when he saw she was about to object.  'Upset you or…'

'No, no Harry honestly it wasn't anything like that!'  She hastened to reassure him, realising Severus had been right about the interpretation Harry would put on his presence in her room when she had so obviously been crying. 'I promise, it didn't have anything to do with him.'  She said staring into his eyes trying to convince him with a look.  Unfortunately the suspicious gleam remained and he seemed to be struggling to come to a decision.

'Lois I've been worried about you spending so much time with him for a while,' he began carefully not quite meeting her eyes. 'There are some things you don't know about him and…'

From the pained expression on his face, Lois suddenly knew Harry was about to tell her about Severus's past, although he clearly wasn't happy about it, probably more because he didn't want to upset her than any concern for Snape.  She hadn't realised he knew but she supposed she should have done, if anyone had a connection to Voldemort and his Death Eaters it would be Harry.

'It's okay.'  She said quickly holding out a hand and sitting next to him on the bed.  'I know all about his past.  Everything.'  She insisted when he looked at her doubtfully.

'You do?'

'I do and we're still friends.'  She said hesitating for a fraction of a second over the last word, but luckily Harry didn't seem to pick up on it. 

'So if you know, how come you're still friends with him?'  He asked his tone bewildered.

Lois sighed heavily. She wasn't about to go into this with a fifteen year old, especially considering wizard children seemed more innocent than their muggle counterparts.  In truth she didn't think it was so much that Harry saw things of this nature in black and white; he was very adult in his outlook for his years.  But when it came to Snape, Lois suspected his dislike and distrust blinded him to any shades of grey.  However, she only said simply. 'For the same reason I'm friends with you; because I can't not be now.'  His face remained doubtful and the gaze he turned upon her was vaguely reproachful 

Lois sighed again and bent closer towards him.  'Don't ask me to choose between you Harry, because I can't – you both mean too much to me.'  She said gravely her eyes sad. 

'I won't.'  He promised quickly.  'It's just that I don't want anything to happen to you.'

Lois looked at him seeing the slight frown pleating his forehead, his thin features tense.  'Harry I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you should take a leaf out of Fred and George's book and stop fretting about things – everything will be fine.  And if it isn't,' she continued over his snort of disbelief.  'Then all the panicking in the world isn't going to make a blind bit of difference, so you might as well just stop worrying.'  She ordered firmly, a smile in her voice.

'Hah, you wouldn't say that if you'd seen them lately,' Harry muttered.  'They've been and got tons of books out of the library and they're up till all hours reading them and casting spells on each other.  Neville said he heard them telling Lee Jordan that they're under surveillance.'  He said with a puzzled shrug. 'But Ron reckons it's just the pressure of N.E.W.T.s finally getting to them.'

Lois nodded guiltily and didn't comment.

'And anyway,' Harry continued dropping his eyes from hers and shooting her a sidelong glance from under dark lashes.  'I only worry so much when it's about people I care about it.'  He mumbled splotches of red appearing on his cheeks.

Lois's heart melted.  'I love you too kiddo.'  She assured sincerely pulling him into a quick hug and releasing him before he had chance to grow embarrassed.  'Now, enough of this malingering and back to class before Professor McGonagall is forced to come track you down.'  She mock scolded, shooing him on his way.

As he reached the Infirmary door Harry turned back to wave a quick goodbye, a pleased grin on his face, his eyes bright and unshadowed.  Lois watched him go with a tired smile, raising a hand to rub thoughtfully at her aching head.

***

Despite her assurances Harry was still worrying about Lois by the following days Potions Class, his mind whirring furiously as he distractedly copied down the instructions for the Cynosure Syrup they were going to be brewing.   When Snape ordered them to find a partner and come to the front of the class to collect the potion ingredients, Harry immediately rushed to pair up with Hermione.  Ron shot him a strange look at his odd behaviour, but uncomplainingly partnered Neville sitting a few seats down from them. 

'Is everything all right Harry?'  Hermione questioned barely moving her lips as she began measuring out the peacock feather essence.

Chatting in Potions was always incredibly risky.  Snape had ears like a bat (to match the rest of him), but Harry desperately wanted to discuss what he had seen in Lois's room with Hermione and it was very difficult to get her alone.  He didn't want to talk about it with Ron, firstly because all conversations regarding Lois generally resulted in a dreamy smile and very little sense and secondly, because after the embarrassing hugging incident following the botched Deep Emotion Potion, anything Ron considered even vaguely "mushy" was strictly off limits.  Harry guessed Lois and Snape's relationship fell firmly under that category.

'No, I wanted to talk to you.'  He confided softly.  'I'm worried about Lois; I went to her room yesterday to see if she wanted to come and watch practice,' he broke of quickly as Snape swept past, a suspicious look on his face as he watched the two of them attempting to appear innocent as they shredded Luminescent leaves.  Hermione nodded for Harry to continue once he'd gone.  'But Snape was in her room and wouldn't let me in, then Lois came just as he was about to shut the door on me.  She looked like she'd been crying.  I think he'd done something to her.'  He pressed when Hermione just stared at him blankly.

'What do you mean "done something to her?"  She questioned confused.

'I'm not sure exactly, but…. You said he liked her first remember?'

'Yes, so?'

'Well maybe he told her yesterday and she said she didn't like him back and maybe he… I don't know, got angry.  He seemed pretty mad.'

Hermione glanced over at Snape.  He looked the same as always, a harsh scowl on his thin face, black robes billowing dramatically behind him as he strode around the classroom insulting the Gryffindors and praising the Slytherins, a permanent sneer seemingly etched on his cruel lips. 

'Harry I know Snape's horrible, but I don't think he'd do anything to actually hurt Lois and even if he would, I'm sure she wouldn't just let him get away with it.'  She pointed out reasonably.  'Did you ask her why she was crying?'

'She said she bumped her head in the Infirmary.'

'That's probably what happened then.'  Hermione shrugged, pulling her pestle and mortar towards her to begin crushing the cricket legs.

'No she was lying I could tell.'  He muttered frustratedly.  'Snape's such a git Hermione – I can't understand why she would have anything to do with him unless he was making her.' He said in a dark tone. 'Perhaps he's blackmailing her or, or… maybe he's got her under the Imperius curse or something!'  He said quickly, before shaking his head in disgust, aware how ridiculous that was - Lois had shown time and time again that she somehow actually liked being around Snape.

Hermione looked sharply over at him at his words, her expression worried.  'Harry you don't think you might just be a little… jealous do you?'  She questioned carefully looking surreptitiously behind her for Snape, who was luckily busily in the process of taking points off Parvati and Lavender for giggling when their thrix root kept wriggling out of the way as they tried to cut it.

'It's not that.'  He assured her earnestly knowing what she meant and not offended. 'I honestly wouldn't mind if it was anyone else, even Hagrid.'  He said before stopping to consider that possibility, a little shudder overtaking both him and Hermione at the same time.  'Maybe not Hagrid.'  He admitted and she nodded in firm agreement. 

'Well I don't know what to say Harry.'  She said thoughtfully, her clever mind busily processing the options.  'Perhaps… I know I said it wasn't a good idea before, but maybe you could talk to her, tell her what you've found out about him.'

'I tried that up in the Infirmary after Roupe cursed me.'  Harry said rubbing his head absently in memory.  'I think he must've already told her everything.'  He whispered quieter than ever. 'And she doesn't even seem to mind.'  He said his tone bewildered.

'That's it then.'  The young girl said with finality. 'There's nothing else you can do and I didn't really think it would have worked anyway.  I know you don't like it Harry,' Hermione continued diffidently. 'But actually seeing them together lately…I think Lois and Professor Snape might already be in love.'

'Love!'  He yelped far louder than he had intended.

'Detention Mr Potter.'  Snape said silkily, gliding over to their desk. 'And I would appreciate it if you would restrict your romantic outbursts to Miss Granger to your own time and not mine.'  He mocked, not taking any points off the Slytherin girls when they giggled nastily at his words.

Harry bit back a groan of annoyance, but was unable to prevent the groan that escaped him when he caught Ron's accusing glare centred on him and a furiously blushing Hermione.

'Time's up.'  Snape finally declared thirty minutes later, his attention barely shifting from the parchment he was writing on.  'Leave your labelled potions on your desks for marking and you may go.  Potter - stay behind to arrange your detention.'

Harry heaved a deep sigh but for once he wasn't too disappointed that Snape never missed a trick, no matter how preoccupied he appeared.  Ron still looked annoyed and he was quite happy to give him a bit more time to calm down.  'Don't bother to wait.' He muttered to Hermione.  'I'll see you in Herbology.' Gathering his belongings together he walked reluctantly towards the high desk at the front of the class, his hatred for dark haired Professor seeming to grow with every step towards him he took. Once he got there, Snape completely ignored him for a full minute and impatience getting the better of him, Harry dropped his heavy cauldron down on the stone floor, the noise loud in the silent room.

'Ah Mr Potter,' Snape said looking up finally as though he had no idea Harry had been waiting.  'Your detention.  Let me see now, interrupting my class - yet again.' He said tapping the end of his quill against the desk contemplatively. 'I think waxing the floor in the Great Hall – without magic – might suffice.  Report to Filch at seven o'clock, I will inform him of your punishment.'

'I haven't got detention with you?'  Harry blurted out before he could stop himself.

'How very astute of you Potter; the Gryffindor intellect working at full power is a truly dazzling sight to behold.' He derided 

Harry felt himself steaming with anger; both at Snape's sarcasm and the sudden certainty that the reason Filch was taking his detention was because Snape would be with Lois.  His chat with her yesterday had succeeded only in making him all the more determined to find out – what was it they called it on those old films Aunt Petunia used to watch on Sunday afternoons?  Oh yes - what Snape's intentions towards her were, he remembered with satisfaction.  However, tackling Snape on even the most innocuous of subjects was extremely dangerous, for something such as this he would be lucky to come out of it still retaining human form.  He must be mad to even consider it he realised suddenly, before the memory of how he'd felt when Lois had told him she loved him swept over him and his resolve hardened once more.

'Well?'  Snape barked impatiently a second later when Harry didn't immediately scurry from the room.

'Actually Professor I wanted to ask if I could talk to you.'  He said as confidently as he could, which wasn't very. 'But not as a student.'

'Talk?   What the…?  Oh good grief!'  Snape suddenly exploded.  'Have you been drinking your potion without permission you halfwitted idiot?!'  He snarled angrily, his black eyes shooting over to examine the amount of liquid left in the beaker on Harry's desk.

'Of course I haven't!'  Harry said equally annoyed, but trying to remain calm.  'I really do want to discuss something with you, but it isn't related to school and I thought…'

Mocking disbelief flooded Snape's cold features as he interrupted Harry's stumbling explanation with a contemptuous snort.  'Merlin preserve me - you cannot possibly mean a "man to man" chat can you Potter?'  He disparaged, an utterly disgusted look on his face.

'Yes that is what I meant as a matter of fact.'  Harry declared mulishly, stung by his tone. 

Snape simply looked at him for what seemed like an incredibly long time and Harry had to work very hard not to shudder under his icy black gaze.  Finally he blinked releasing Harry from his stare and made another huffing sound of impatience.  'Very well.  Let's hear it then Mr Potter.'  Snape said coldly sarcastic.  'I suppose as I've already been made well aware of the faculty's stance on the situation, I might as well hear out what the student body delegation has to say on the matter, for completeness if nothing else.'  He sneered his face twisted sourly.

'Excuse me?'

'I assume this sudden desire to "talk" means you have some opinion you wish to state regarding my relationship with Miss Scott?'  Snape asked in the same slow tone one would use to humour an idiot.

'Relationship?'  Harry enquired sickly, his worst fears confirmed.  Oh god, were they actually doing it?  Obligingly his mind refused to allow entrance to any nightmare inducing mental images to accompany that thought and he was able - just barely - to refocus on Snape's words without losing his lunch.  

'That is correct, perhaps if your hearing is causing you problems a trip to the Infirmary is in order…?'

'My hearing's fine.'  Harry managed through clenched teeth unable to meet Snape's cruelly amused stare.  'But you're right - that is what I wanted to talk to you about.' He struggled on, his words halting and awkward.  'I wanted to say that I think it would be better for Lois if you and she weren't … friends.'

'Indeed.'  Snape said indifferently, tapping the feather end of his quill rhythmically against the desk. 'And do you also think she is so lacking in intelligence that she needs a fifteen year old to make her decisions for her?'

'No, but Lois doesn't really know anything about wizards or magic or who she can trust.'  Harry said his face tight.  'She needs someone to look out for her until she does know.'

'I see and you believe your aeons of experience in the wizarding world makes you a suitable candidate?  Really Potter the extent of your arrogance astounds even me at times, although having known your father I suppose it shouldn't.'  He said cruelly pleased when he saw Harry's hands clench tight in anger.  'Nevertheless, your half-baked opinions aside, I am quite certain she does not need you chipping in your two sickles worth and frankly even if she did, what on earth would make you think you have the right to interfere in her personal life in any event?'  He asked silkily.

Harry was breathing heavily by now, his anger with the situation and Snape quickly spiralling out of control.  'Because I found her!'  He exclaimed wrathfully, unable to think of a better argument over the fury rising within him. 

'She was not a lost sock Potter.'  Snape said curtly.

'Yes but… well she was, wasn't she really?  I mean Lois was lost and if I hadn't had my accident, she would never have come here!'

'So what are you saying boy, that because of that you now own her?' Snape demanded contemptuously.

'No!  It's just… Lois means a lot to me.'  Harry said his anger subsiding briefly into sincerity.  'I don't want her to be hurt.' 

'While your concern is… touching.'  Snape mocked maliciously.  'It is also misplaced; she is not your mother boy, nor in fact any relation to you at all.  You have absolutely no claim on her.'  He said with great satisfaction.

'I know that!  But she means more to me than just… She's like, like….' He stopped there, searching desperately for the words to explain how he felt and was incensed when he was unable to find them under Snape's basilisk-like stare.  'Oh it doesn't matter.'  He muttered finally, defeat crashing heavily down onto him as he realised all he had accomplished for his efforts was to provide amusement for Snape.  'You'll do what you want anyway.'  He finished bitterly.

Humiliation rising, Harry bent down to retrieve his belongings under Snape's cold and impassive regard. Standing from his stooped position he chanced another quick look at Snape to find him watching him still.  His face burning with shame, he was just about to turn away when the Potions master blinked once and when he opened his eyes, Harry was astonished to see a new expression there.  Only someone who had spent as many years staring into his loathing-filled, black eyes as Harry had, would have even noticed the change.  Slight though it was, there was a definite warmth and a general softening of his whole demeanour.  With another blink of his eyes however, it was gone and his voice when he spoke was as emotionless as ever.

'If indeed you did find her, then I suppose that I am in your debt Mr Potter.'  He said slowly and precisely.  'And since I do not enjoy being forced into such an odious position, I will address your concerns on the understanding that after which, all debts between us will be repaid in full:  My relationship with Miss Scott, Potter, is none of your business and I have absolutely no intention of discussing it with you in any way, shape or form.  However, what I can assure you of with the utmost certainty - and it had better suffice because it is all you are going to get - is that she will come to no harm from me.  Now.'  He practically snarled, his expression more evil than Harry had ever seen it. 'Get out of my sight and if I have to listen to even one more word from you on the subject, or from any of your cretinous hangers-on, I will make you regret that you ever heard the name Hogwarts.'  

While not sure yet whether to consider this a victory or a defeat, Harry was smart enough to realise that their talk had gone far better than he could realistically have hoped for and hardly daring to believe his luck, he hoisted his cauldron more securely in his hands and dashed for the door not risking saying another thing.

'Oh and Potter.'  Snape said silkily just before the door closed behind him.

'Yes Professor?'  Harry asked his feelings towards the cold Potions master oddly ambiguous for probably the first time ever.

'You appear to be late for your next class – ten points from Gryffindor.' He said evenly, an unholy gleam clearly visible in his black eyes as he turned dismissively back to his work.

***

Lois banged on Snape's door with her left elbow, her hands too full to try the handle. When the door swung open and he appeared in front of her, she pushed quickly past him dropping the heavy bags she had been holding onto the floor.

'Have you carried those?'  He asked, his eyebrows shooting up impatiently when she nodded agreement. 'Why didn't you use magic to bring them down?'  He questioned disbelievingly.

'Fillius only taught me how to lift one thing; I was having trouble balancing two – they kept going wonky.  Thought this would be safer.'  Lois admitted, slightly out of breath.

'What's in there anyway?'  He asked as she let out a puff of air blowing her hair away from her hot face.

'Just a few things so that I don't have to keep dashing up to my room before anyone spots me first thing in a morning.'

Snape eyed the bulky holdalls on the floor warily.  'A few things?' 

'There isn't much really.'  She assured him.  'Just some toiletries and clothes and books - that kind of stuff.'

'I see.' He said without expression.

'You don't mind do you?'  Lois asked hesitantly, suddenly realising she might have been presuming a little too much turning up like this, looking as though she was angling to move in.  She quickly pushed her doubts determinedly aside; while she was prepared to give him time to get used to their new relationship, she wasn't prepared to give him space.

'No.' He said calmly walking towards the sofa and pulling her with him, settling her close by his side as they sat.

'Well you don't exactly sound thrilled about it.'  Lois grumbled good naturedly, dropping her head down onto his chest to listen to the comforting sound of his heartbeat, which speeded noticeably when she ran her fingers tormentingly up and down the sleekly defined muscles she found there. 'Hearing you talk anyone would think you weren't happy to have me as a girlfriend.'  She said with a sly upwards glance.

'That is where you are wrong.'  He insisted, the soft emotions she inevitably evoked bringing his instinctive sarcastic nature to the fore.  'I consider this development very fortuitous indeed.  It's always such a bind when I receive an invitation to a Dark Revel with the dread phrase "and partner".  Now that I am involved in a relationship, I no longer need to worry about facing the scorn of the Dark Lord's finest for failing to produce a companion.'

'Stop being an ass Severus.'  Lois said without heat pinching his arm through his robes, 'and don't call him that either!' She said more sharply with a pinch to match.

'Careful!'  He growled absently rubbing his upper arm.  'And don't call who what?'

'The Dark Lord.'  She said affecting a spooky, echoing voice.  'It makes him sound like he owns you or something.  Lord.'  She said with a disparaging snort.  'Who the hell made that poor excuse for a human a Lord anyway?'  She grumbled.

'No one.'  Snape managed to answer distracted by her exploring fingers, which had returned to their previous task. 'His actual name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.  He just rearranged the letters to make I Am Lord Voldemort.'  He explained uninterestedly.

'Riddle?  His name's Tommy Riddle and you all just agreed to start calling him Lord Voldemort?'  She asked astonished.

Snape shook his head, having trouble concentrating on her questions while trying to locate the fastenings on her muggle clothing. 'Well for the main most people forgot he ever was Tom Riddle and in any event, you don't call a madman of his stature by any other name than that which he has chosen.'

'You see that's half the problem with you wizards.  You've built this psychopath up into some kind of unconquerable god.' Lois said in disgust, her fingers ceasing their movements.

Her words had a similar effect on Snape, who was diverted enough from his own efforts to lift his head and focus on her fully.   'Lois, you don't understand how powerful he is, how powerful his followers are. You're not far wrong when you call him unconquerable; if it wasn't for Lily Potter's sacrifice, I think it highly likely he would have won the war. And I am not the only person to believe that, whether they admit it or not.  Is it any wonder people are so afraid of him?'

'No, but I think using his real name would help.'

'It's easy knowing what you should do.'  Snape said in a hard voice. 'But never quite as easy doing it.'

'I know.'  Lois apologised with a sigh.  'And I didn't mean to sound flippant, I just hate the idea of you having to pretend to be loyal to him.'

'Unsurprisingly I don't particularly enjoy it myself, but there isn't a lot of choice in the matter; I can hardly spy on him if he doesn't trust me.'

'That's another thing I really hate - spying on him?  It's insane!' She blurted out unable to help herself.

'I had no idea you felt like that.'  He said sarcastically. 'Would you like me to give it up?'

'Yes actually I would!'

Snape was silenced for a second.  He honestly hadn't expected that answer.   'Well I can't, as you very well know.'  He almost snarled, the discussion reminding him unpleasantly of how precarious his position was, not something he generally preferred to dwell on.  'There is a great deal riding on the information I may be able to provide.'

'So why did you ask!'  Lois yelled in frustration, pulling away from him and sitting at the other end of the sofa, her legs tucked underneath her, an annoyed expression on her face.

'Because I thought you'd say no.' He admitted truthfully.  It had been a good many years since anyone had put his welfare before the common good, in fact had anyone ever put his needs first, in anything?  

'Why on earth would I say no?'  Lois asked raising her hands in bewilderment.  'Of course I don't want you to risk your life and Severus, I honestly do have serious reservations about all of this, quite apart from the fact I don't want you anywhere near him.  If I was Voldermort, I wouldn't trust you after what happened.  Can't someone else be a spy, someone less likely to be suspected?'

'I owe…'

'You don't owe!  You've paid your debt.'  She spoke over his words, crawling back towards him and grabbing hold of his hands.  'There must be other ways.  Better ways.  Won't the muggle authorities help?'  She asked suddenly.  'It seems like there's far more of us than there is of you lot.'

'Ah yes, the terrifying prospect of swarms of muggle policemen brandishing their little wooden sticks…'

'Truncheons actually and I don't think they're even made of wood anymore.' Lois informed him snippily dropping his hands, but he continued on as if she hadn't spoken.

'…I can just see it now.  I'm sure the Dark Lord – fine!  Voldemort.' He bit out at her censurous gaze. 'Will be shaking in his boots.'

'Oh very clever Severus.'  Lois derided with a scowl, before pressing on undeterred.  'I wasn't talking about the police anyway, I was thinking of military intervention - I mean he's only one man; couldn't the army just blow him up or something?'

'Muggles and muggle weaponry couldn't hope to destroy a wizard as strong as he is, the only thing that will defeat him is magic more powerful than his own. And not only that, Voldemort despises muggles, if they became involved in the war he might focus his attention on them and the results would be catastrophic.  In any event, they don't even know of his return. Fudge refuses to acknowledge the possibility and has therefore made no attempt to forewarn them.'  He said heavily.

'Fine, no muggles.'  Lois accepted disappointedly.  'But I still say that you returning to spy on him is needlessly reckless; you'll just get yourself killed Severus and what will that accomplish?'

'Reparation for my sins?'  He suggested bitterly.

'Rubbish!'  She snorted. 'Death doesn't equal redemption, it's just an easy way out and if you're imagining it's the ultimate "I'm sorry" then you're a fool!'

'Actually I don't.'  He said coldly.  'I'm doing this because it's necessary and because I am in a position to do so.  I have no intention however, of sacrificing myself in a pathetic bid for absolution.' 

'Good.'  Lois said simply, closing her eyes briefly in relief, mightily reassured by the disgust in his tone.  She had been genuinely afraid that his guilt over his past meant he subconsciously believed he deserved to die.  She could cope with what he did as long as all the danger came from external sources; no one could hope to survive the sort of risks he took carrying around a death wish.  'Because if you'd have been planning to make a martyr out of yourself, I for one wouldn't have been very impressed.'  She finished coolly, not wanting him to see how foolishly scared she had been. 

'You're being very blasé about the possibility all of a sudden.'  Snape said smarting slightly.   Shouldn't she be all teary-eyed at the prospect?

'I'm not being blasé; I'm just very glad to hear you agree with me.  After all, there are plenty of things worse than death Severus.'  Lois said wanting to drive her point home.   

'Are there indeed?' He asked in a patronising tone, still vaguely miffed. 'For example?'

'Having to watch someone you love die.'  Lois said mildly.  'Being left behind without them.'

Looking into her calm face, Snape repressed a shudder with more difficulty than he liked as he felt an icy trickle of foreboding run down his spine.  'So in your opinion dying is the easy option is it?'  He mocked in an effort to shake off his odd mood.  'Are you telling me you wouldn't be afraid if Voldemort was standing here right now?'

'No, I'd be on the floor in a puddle of fear calling him "Your Highness."' Lois admitted without shame. 'And I never said dying was easy, especially where Voldemort is concerned I'm guessing.  I said death was easy - you know when you actually cease to exist and float off to wherever.  You're not going to be worrying about much right then.'  She finished in a matter-of-fact tone.  The turn the conversation had taken had reminded her, yet again, just how brief a time on earth everyone really had.  She didn't want to waste a second of it in pointless argument.  Severus would continue spying, regardless of the risks, and she either had to accept that or drive herself crazy worrying about it.  

'I'd protect you.'  He said suddenly, his voice deadly serious.  'From Voldemort I mean if he were standing here right now.  I feign allegiance to him because I'm required to, but there is absolutely none left within me.  Whatever there was died a long time ago.'   

'I know that Severus.'  Lois assured him, surprised by his vehemence.  'You don't need to convince me.' 

'There are those that will always doubt me, I just wanted to make sure you understood that you don't have to - that I'd do everything I could to keep you safe.'  He said intently.

'Oh so you wouldn't be afraid?'  Lois taunted, hoping annoyance with her would lift the air of hopelessness that seemed to have descended on him as he spoke.

'Don't be an idiot Lois.'  He snapped disparagingly, his face thankfully reverting to its normal irritable expression.  'Of course I'd be afraid.'

'Ah but in true hero fashion you'd protect me anyway.'  Lois chided him gently.  'Tell me, would  "To the death" be too strong a term to use?' 

'No that would be spot on.'  He said ruefully, his tense shoulders relaxing slightly as he let out a deep sigh.  'I don't expect my grand gesture would be worth much against him in any event.  We would both probably be dead within seconds.' 

'Yeah.'  She smiled unworried.  'But we'd be up in heaven, swinging on a cloud and he'd be down here, snake faced and still called Tommy Riddle.'

He nodded a slight smile on his lips, but his heart clenched painfully in his chest.  She would be up in heaven he had no doubt, surrounded by her husband and family.  He… he would be somewhere else entirely, condemned to an eternity gazing skyward with longing.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A/N   Jelsemium – Chapter 18 had a title it was just on temporary hiatus.  Someone had problems accessing certain chapters because of her parental controls and the last time it didn't work it was the title that was causing the problem, hence the blank.  It's back now :)  As for whether Lois knows about Harry and Voldemort – yes she does and darn it, I never even thought of Peeves being a possible suspect for the trashed room!  Let's pretend I had and that there was an incredibly plausible reason why they both immediately knew it wasn't him :)

Gotsnape – I'm not promising, but I might try and post it as a separate fic, as a couple of people have suggested, so I don't have to up the rating - leave it with me :)

Gaby – Gosh you have been paying attention – how nice!  There will be resolution to the empathic abilities and I haven't forgotten about the nightmare, but Lois never realised it was Harry's dream (and probably never will) so she isn't trying to figure it out and no one else knows about it.  There is a reason for it though, which will be explained.  Hmm and you're right, the story isn't an action packed thriller with Voldie and Unforgivables and whatnot – I'm sorry; the direction does change a little towards the end, (which won't be long, thank god) but I don't know whether it can be considered "action" as such… Oh well, in summary - sorry!

Elspeth – You can put the puppy dog eyes away – you're right Sirius will be coming to visit his godson. ^_~ 

QE Too – In answer to your question a git is: "An idiot or contemptible person. Although more commonly used, it is derived from the word 'get.'"  That definition came from www.peevish.co.uk/slang/, which is a dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms – should you ever need one.  While I'm English myself, it's tricky to know what terms aren't common outside the UK and not only that, sometimes I don't even really know precisely what they mean, for example, I use the word git fairly often, but I still had to look it up to give you an answer :)

Trisana – I don't know - I hadn't thought about that!  I suppose I'd better decide!  And thank you all for the reviews.  You honestly wouldn't believe how much I appreciate them.