He Stopped Loving Her Today
By: ZekksGoddess
Disclaimer: The song is "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones, and everything else belongs to George Lucas. I do, however own the narrarator.
Timeframe: Long after the Yuuzhaan Vong war.
Summary: A young girl, who served as a maid and friend many years ago, recounts the tragic events that she encountered during her service.
Characters: Peckhum, Zekk, Jacen, Jaina, Narrarator
Keywords: illness, broken-heart, sorry
Genre: angst, drama
AN: My first songfic! Hope you guys like!
I can remember the house, each little nook and cranny of it. That shouldn't be surprising though; after all, I am the one who cleaned it from the inside out each and every day for…oh, Force knows how many years by now.
It was a lovely house indeed, but I loved the people in it even more. They were so real, so complex and fascinating. I will never forget the time I spent there, for every moment has been etched deep into my heart as well as my mind.
In the beginning of my time there, Zekk was never around; it was always just me and old Peckhum. Often times I wondered if hiring me to care for Peckhum was Zekk's unspoken apology to the old man, an apology for rarely coming home.
I would often sit on the soft carpet of the drawing room, listening eagerly as Peckhum would regale me with endless tales about Zekk. Aside from the fascinating life the young man led, I noticed, without too much interest at the time, that a Jaina Solo was a recurring character in many of the stories, and that a strange look would pass over Peckhum's face whenever he spoke of her. I was also rather careful to notice that on the rare occasion that Zekk was home, this Jaina Solo was never mentioned.
As old Peckhum recounted the glorious tales for me, one right after another, at one point he would always look me straight in the eye with a strange expression and tell me how Zekk was a free man, never staying in one place too long, always on the move across the galaxy. I remember that one of those times I had commented on what an amazing way that must be to live. I was completely enamored with Zekk, by then of course. Old Peckhum had given me such a solemn stare in response that I was shocked, and I'm not sure he meant for me to hear him mutter, "Not when you're running from the past."
Not long after that last day of stories, Zekk fell ill. No one could figure out what was wrong, not even the best of the doctors, but Zekk was no longer well enough to leave the house. He must have hated that house, now that I think back on it, must have resented it as though it were a vile prison, trapping him within hard, durasteel confines that he could never be rid of again.
On his good days, which were the usual in the beginning, Zekk was always a fairly cheerful person. He would even help me out at times, when he feeling especially well. He said he didn't like having someone do everything for him, that it didn't seem right.
No matter how he seemed as the years went by though, I was a smart enough young girl to know that something wasn't right. Whenever he smiled, the expression never reached those stunning emerald eyes of his. Despite what his exterior may have led people to believe, he was suffering. And somehow I got the feeling it had nothing to do with his illness. On some days when I cleaned, I managed a quick glimpse of him with some strange box in his quarters, but only if I was quick enough. Zekk was very adept at hiding his treasures.
He said "I'll love you till I die",
She told him "You'll forget in time"
As the years went slowly by,
She still preyed upon his mind
I developed quite a crush on Zekk as the years went on. In my eyes, illness or not, he was perfect. I can only remember confiding that secret to two people. One, of course, was old Peckhum. He'd chuckled at me, stroking his stubbled chin and said, "I wouldn't get your hopes up, young miss…Zekk's only got eyes for one."
The other person I remember confiding in was Jacen Solo, on one of his frequent visits to Zekk, whose condition was growing steadily worse. I remember how his dark, liquid brown eyes had looked straight into mine before he turned away and said, "Don't expect much…in a way, Zekk's already taken."
I didn't understand what either of them meant for a very long time. But I did get a little closer to it the night Peckhum died. I remember it so very clearly. Zekk, despite his condition, had refused to leave Peckhum's side. He'd fallen asleep in one of the chairs, his head propped onto his fist. I remember Peckhum's hoarse whisper calling me closer. When I was close enough to feel his breath touch gently against my face with each word he spoke, he asked me to stay and take care of Zekk for him if anything should happen. I agreed in a second. I loved these people; I never wanted to leave, especially when Zekk was still around. Peckhum's voice grew quieter when he next spoke, and the low words were, "The illness, that's the least of his problems…did you know that? He's suffering, young miss…suffering from something much worse…"
I was slightly taken aback by the strange remark, but my curiosity and need to satisfy Peckhum's last wishes reigned. I responded in an equally low voice, right in old Peckhum's ear so Zekk wouldn't be woken. I asked what was wrong with the poor young man…what was he suffering from?
Peckhum's response was barely audible, but I managed to catch it. He'd whispered, "A broken heart." Moments later, he was gone.
He kept her picture on his wall,
Went half-crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all,
Hoping she'd come back again
With Peckhum's death, Zekk lost ground in his fight against the illness, but I kept my promise and stayed to care for him. I hadn't anywhere else to go of course, but I'm sure that even if I had, I would have stayed. One day, Zekk had an especially bad spell unlike any he'd had before, one where his emerald eyes stared off into space and he'd begin to talk to someone as though they were right there in the room with him.
That was only the beginning of his bad spells, however, and I never paid much attention then. I guess I always thought they'd go away. All I knew was that he always talked to the same person, someone named Jaina.
Kept some letters by his bed
Dated nineteen sixty-two
He had underlined in red
Every single "I love you"
It was a few months after Zekk's bad spells began, and they became more frequent with time, that I found that box he'd always kept so carefully hidden. I remember wondering for a moment if it was wrong to open it, but my curiosity was too much to bear with.
I remember lifting the small lid and peering cautiously inside. It was filled almost to bursting with holodisks. Each and every one of them was of the same person, I know because I looked. It was the same girl with the brandy eyes, dark hair, and charming crooked smile.
As the months went by, I started to listen to Zekk as he held conversations with the imaginary Jaina. It was a little frightening, but I didn't know what else I could do for him. It was then that I realized what old Peckhum and Jacen had tried to tell me. Zekk's heart had been stolen away a long time ago by this mysterious girl. I'd just refused to admit it to myself until now, when I could hear for myself as Zekk spoke to her, occasionally even professing his love for her to the empty air. It was a heart wrenching sight, really. All I knew of Zekk's mysterious love was her face, so lit up by that crooked smile, and a name, Jaina…
I went to see him just today,
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away,
First time I'd seen him smile in years
One morning, I'd woken up to find the house completely silent. Not allowing myself to worry, I immediately started for Zekk's room, wondering why he had stopped his now-daily ritual of talking to Jaina.
I'll never forget what I found when I arrived. The image has been permanently ingrained into my memory, and I carry it around with me each day. No matter where I go, or how far across the galaxy I travel, I see it. And every time it brings me to tears.
Zekk's secret box had been dragged from its hiding place, and the dozens of holodisks lay scattered about him on the bed. But there, clutched in his hands, he held a holograph tightly to his chest, just over his heart. The disks switch was still in the on position, and it showed the merriment in her brandy eyes as her face was lit up by that trademark crooked smile.
His cheeks glistened; they were wet, as though he'd been crying. I knew then, as the tears flooded down my cheeks in mass rivers. It was just as Peckhum had said. The illness hadn't been enough to defeat Zekk; it had never even come close. No, the illness hadn't been Zekk's downfall, but his broken heart had.
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today
I remember the days of planning Zekk's funeral after that. They were filled with many strange, teary-eyed faces.
There was a rather large debate on whether she, I assumed they meant Jaina, would show up or not. I recall many of them doubting it, one saying that Chiss Space, where she lived with her husband, was probably too far of a distance for her to want to bother. Another, in Jaina's defense, quietly remarked that returning might just be too hard for her to face. I noticed that many of them agreed with that second statement.
You know, she came to see him one last time.
Oh, and' we all wondered if she would.
In a way, they were right. She never showed up at the funeral. In fact, the brandy eyed girl with the so-charming smile never came.
But I wonder if they know about the woman with the dark eyes and the tears. She didn't go to the funeral either, but she came.
The only reason I, myself saw her was completely by chance. I remember glancing out the window as I cleaned the house one last time to see a lone, cloaked figure making their way slowly among the trees. I was curious and rather anxious to get out of the house anyway, so I followed. The cloaked figure walked as though they knew the place well, and headed straight for the old grove.
I'll never forget that day, the first and last time that I saw Jaina Solo.
She lowered the hood of her black cloak, freeing her chocolaty tresses into the wind. Her eyes were dark, missing the youthful spark they'd always held in Zekk's holographs, and there was no trace that a joyous, lopsided smile had ever touched her lips.
She knelt to the ground, her hair still flowing about her as the wind passed gently through it. Slowly, a slender hand reached out from the folds of her robes, reaching, and her lips moved, the wind stealing the words and carrying them away. I'll never be sure, but I thought the words, "I'm so sorry" reached my ears. Her hand finally came into contact with the smoothness of Zekk's gravestone, tracing the engraving of his name before finally bowing her head, surrendering to her tears.
And it kept running' through my mind-
"This time he's over her for good."