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Beloved on this Earth

~ 0 ~

Severus Snape was in an exceedingly bad mood, which was obvious, apparently, even from his walk.  Striding through Hogwarts corridors the milling students gave him a wider birth than usual, not that it did them any good.  On the short journey from the Staff Room to the Infirmary he had managed to deduct a total of sixty House points, a personal best, which he couldn't even enjoy.  He was too busy silently steaming over an encounter with Flitwick, during which he had had to endure yet more - as Lois termed it - "affectionate ribbing" and what he more properly called an  "inexcusable invasion of his privacy."  Unfortunately, since the incident in his classroom with Peeves, his relationship with Lois had become something of an open secret with the rest of the staff.  Mercifully after enlisting the assistance of the Bloody Baron, the poltergeist had been convinced to keep his mouth shut as far as the students were concerned, but it was a case of too little, too late for Snape. 

The reactions of the other Professors to their relationship had ranged from triumphant glee, through vaguely insulting bewilderment, to open hostility, courtesy of Elena Roupe.  Despite his misgivings, Lois at least seemed exceedingly pleased with the current state of affairs.  Her declarations of love had continued unabashed and now that she wasn't required to hide the fact that they were together, she was apparently on cloud nine.  Regrettably that was not the case for Snape who had had to bear the brunt of the teasing - good-natured and otherwise – most likely because he flatly refused to satisfy their prurient curiosity on the subject.  On the other hand it wasn't all bad news; he had to admit Lois's increased happiness had proven to have decided… compensations for him.

Approaching the Infirmary he felt his annoyance begin to dissipate in the eagerness to see her again.  He cursed his pathetic neediness under his breath, but couldn't prevent his stride from lengthening as he turned the last corner and pushed the large doors open.  Finding the sickbay deserted, his eyes swivelled to the office at the end of the room, searching for a familiar flash of blonde hair and was disappointed when only Poppy Pomfrey emerged.

'Morning Severus.  If you're looking for Lois, you're too late.  She left with Remus about ten minutes ago.'

'As a matter of fact I wasn't.'  He lied stony faced.  'I came to check in with you.  You were going to keep an eye on Lois's room?'  He reminded when she looked at him blankly.

'Ah, yes.'  Poppy said deflatedly, her face falling at his lack of response to her teasing before she rallied gamely.  'Well, I'm afraid I haven't got any news for you there.  I've kept a look out as I promised, but I haven't come across a single pupil behaving oddly, or even being where they shouldn't be for that matter.  In fact the only student I've seen visiting Lois is Harry Potter, sometimes with those friends of his.  Oh, and the Weasley twins once.'

'What were they up to?'  Snape demanded instantly suspicious of any unexplained appearances by that pair.

'Trying to bypass me to get yet another self-inflicted magical injury looked at.  Hoping to avoid a scolding I suppose, not that it did them any good; Lois wasn't in and they had no choice but to confess once I saw the state of them.'  She said with equal parts amusement and exasperation.

'I see, well thank you anyway Poppy.'  Snape nodded accepting her explanation.  He made to walk towards the door but, stopped and turned back towards her before he had taken more than two steps.    'You said Lois went with Lupin?  Did she happen to mention where she was going?'  He asked casually.

Poppy's expression lit with glee which she quickly smothered before he could notice.  'No idea I'm afraid.'  The mediwitch murmured vaguely watching him closely.

'Fine, fine.  I suppose he's here making a nuisance of himself quite often with his… illness?'  He questioned his tone decidedly indifferent, but the intent gleam in his eyes telling another story entirely.

'Who Remus?  Now that boy couldn't be a nuisance if he tried and as for his illness – well he's certainly never been one to wallow in self-pity, I'll say that for him.  If he comes to me for treatment you can be sure he needs it.  But you're right, he is here a fair bit what with one thing or another.'  Poppy said musingly.  'Why do you ask?'

'No reason.  I was simply curious as to how much additional work his appointment had caused the staff, myself included.'

'Really?'  She asked highly sceptical.  'Because it sounded to me as though you were trying to find out how much time he and Lois spend together.'

'I was simply making conversation Poppy, if you're going to overanalyse everything I say –'  He began repressively.

'You don't make conversation.  You barely remember to be civil most of the time and when you do initiate conversation, it's generally for the sole purpose of gathering information'

'If that's how you feel, I won't inflict my company on you any longer.'  Snape said strangely offended despite the fact she was quite right in her assessment of his actions.

'Good grief Severus, what's got you in such a snit?'  Poppy asked surprised.  Snape generally enjoyed nothing more than a good argument and she had just given him a perfect opening.  'And don't try to tell me you're seriously jealous over Remus. It's as plain as the nose on your face that Lois loves you and any fool can see you love her.'  Snape growled warningly but Poppy waved him away.  'Come on something's bothering you, you can't fool me; I've known you far too long.'

Snape looked over at the plump witch with affection that he carefully didn't let show.  'Nothing's wrong, I'm simply tired of having to put up with snide comments everywhere I go just lately.  I can't step foot outside of my door without some imbecile making a smart remark and now I've got Flitwick giving me advice.'

'Well it serves you right.'  Poppy said without pity.  'Lois might not mind because of her muggle upbringing, but you know as well as I do how the wizarding world gossips and it's only going to get worse with time.  When are you going to put an end to this foolishness and make an honest woman of her?'

'I don't believe that is any of your concern.'  Snape said icily, heartily wishing he hadn't confided in her and quickly summoning a glare that was guaranteed to send even the most foolhardy Gryffindor scurrying from his sight.  Unfortunately, Poppy was apparently immune.

'Don't you give me that look Severus Snape!'  The Matron said sharply, eyes blazing and Snape battled the urge to immediately apologise, but she stormed on before he had chance to succumb.  'It doesn't work anyway when the person you're trying to intimidate has seen you in your underwear.'

'What on earth do you mean?!  You most certainly have not!'  He burst out horrified, frantically trying to recall any incidents when such a thing could have occurred and coming up with not one.

'Oh yes I have.  Who do you think patched you up after you backed into that Incisid bush in Herbology?  The poison had you out for the count and wounds that big don't heal themselves mister.'

'Then?  That was almost twenty five years ago!' 

'Makes no difference,' she said smugly. 'I still remember.'

'That's utterly perverse.'  He said in high disgust, his exceedingly private nature instinctively abhorring the image of him vulnerable and practically naked in front of anyone, even if it was the school nurse.

'Maybe it would be if I'd gotten some illicit thrill from the sight.  However, I'm eternally glad to say that scrawny eleven year olds wearing  "Martin the Mad Muggle" underwear have never done a thing for me.'  She assured him greatly amused by his ruffled dignity.

'Poppy!'  He bellowed having forgotten all about his closet childhood fascination with that particular comic book creation until just then.  'If you tell anyone…' 

'Of course I wouldn't!'  She reprimanded watching sadly as he let out a deep, calming breath, his usual emotionless mask shifting seamlessly into place once more.  The rigid control he exerted over his feelings simply wasn't healthy she thought not for the first time; until Lois's arrival, practically the only time she saw him enjoying himself was when he was terrorising the students and that certainly wasn't healthy either!  'Ah, Severus, I won't pretend to have the first clue what goes on inside that convoluted head of yours.'  She said quietly, her expression concerned.  'And I know you'd probably be far happier if I minded my own business altogether, but I worry about you being so alone and now that you've got Lois, I just don't want to see you mess it up and lose her.'

His face blanched at her words and taking pity on him the older woman patted his hand comfortingly, her features softening into sympathetic lines.  'She's been good for you Severus and you know it.'  He was silent for so long that she had given up any hope of a response, wondering regretfully if she had only succeeded in making matters worse when his quiet reply broke the stillness, his voice almost too low to be heard.  'I do.'  He admitted, his expression forestalling any further discussion. 

'Well, that's something I suppose.'  She conceded, not letting her relief show.  'But you think on about what I said; she might love you, but no woman is going to wait around forever, no matter how dark and smouldering you might be.'  She warned

A slight smile, almost instantly banished, touched his lips at that.  'Dark and smouldering?  My, my Poppy, I'm beginning to worry a little now about your apparent photographic memory for my underwear.'  He said with an intense stare from under lowered lids that he had always found had a very pleasingly breathless effect on Lois.  It seemed to work on older women too he saw smugly as Poppy's colour heightened and she became unusually flustered.

'Away with you now and out of my Infirmary.'  She ordered pink cheeked and Snape smiled fully this time, his hand raised in farewell salute as he sauntered unhurriedly from the room.  His thoughts however, were nowhere near as calm and measured as his pace, bordering instead on confused chaos. 

Poppy's insistence that Lois loved him echoed his own slowly growing belief that her feelings for him might indeed be real.  She was a grown woman after all, surely she could be trusted to know her own mind, however unlikely the emotions she was experiencing.  And if that was the case, maybe permanency wasn't completely out of the question he thought, cautious hope rising.  Okay people would talk about her, but as Poppy had pointed out, they were doing that already.  Wasn't it better she was disparaged for marrying him rather than for just sleeping with him?  A much more respectable state of affairs all round, he mused with satisfaction, before a quiver of panic shot through him.  Marriage?  Bloody hell!  Was he ready for that?  A resounding YES! was the very definite reply.

****

Lois would have been greatly reassured if she had been privy to Severus's thoughts just then, but as telepathy was not a skill she possessed, she remained sadly oblivious, chatting instead with Remus about her recent essay on methods of dealing with gnome infestation.  A knock at the door had both their heads lifting as he called out  'Come in.' The classroom door pushed open almost before he had spoken the words, to reveal Harry and the biggest dog Lois had ever seen in her life.

'Good grief Harry!'  She said in shock.  'Is that a dog or a bear?'  She asked, honestly believing it could be either.

He opened his mouth, but was prevented from answering by Remus rushing over to the boy and dog, reopening the door and obviously trying to shoo them both from the room.  'Harry, perhaps you should come back later?'  He said with a sidelong glance at Lois.  The large dog gave an equally large bark at Remus's approach, but Lois was glad to see it didn't appear dangerous with its huge pink tongue lolling out of his mouth, an almost friendly expression on his face.

Harry frowned in confusion for a moment before his face cleared as understanding dawned.  'It's okay Professor Lupin.'  He reassured his teacher.  'Lois knows all about it.'  The dog barked again and after a furtive look into the hallway, Remus quickly closed his classroom door drawing his wand to place a ward on it.

Confused by their strange behaviour and feeling very much in the way, Lois walked over to the now silent trio.  'We were nearly finished anyway Harry, so if you need to see Professor Lupin alone, don't let me…' She broke off mid-sentence, looking down in surprise having missed the large dogs approach until it began enthusiastically licking her wrist, which she pulled away with a giggle.  'Stop it mutt.'  She scolded playfully, scratching his large head.  'That tickles!'

'Sirius!'  Remus said reprovingly and Lois looked over at Harry surprised. 

'Isn't that the name of your godfather Harry?'  What were the chances of the dog also being called Sirius and how would Remus know that anyway?  Lois wondered curiously.  Was it his dog? 

'It's okay.'  Harry said again but this time, strangely, to the dog.  'This is Lois, you remember I told you about her?'  The huge dog tilted his head to one side in an oddly assessing gesture, before suddenly transforming into a human in front of her startled eyes. 

Lois jumped back in shock.  She had seen Professor McGonagall transform into a cat, but this was different – both the man and the dog he had been were enormous.  Looking a very long way up into the dark strangers face, Lois found him staring back down at her, a hint of smile on his lips.  Examining him closer, she realised he was as tall, if not taller than Snape, and very handsome.  His dark eyes however, were shadowed and grim making him appear older than his unlined face suggested him to be.

'Lois this is my godfather – Sirius Black.'  Harry said with a hint of pride.

'Pleased to meet you Lois.'  Sirius said with a smile holding out his hand to her, which she cautiously took.  'Harry's told me a lot about you.'

'And vice versa.  Well – except for the fact that you're a dog.'  She admitted, still not quite over the shock of his transformation.  'What was that?  Punishment?'

'A disguise.' Sirius answered amused.  'Very few people know I'm an Animagus which allows me travel undetected and,' he said with a warm look over at Harry.  'Pay long overdue visits to my godson.'

'More convincing than a wig and false moustache.'  Lois conceded.

'Just slightly.'  He agreed with a wry smile, turning back towards Harry who was watching the exchange with interest.  'Now that you've delivered me safely into Remus's hands, hadn't you better be getting to class?'

Harry glanced at his watch and grimaced.  'You're right I'm going to be late.  Damn, it would be for Professor McGonagall as well.'  He grumbled heading hurriedly for the door, Remus removing the spell on it from across the room.  'What about after school Sirius?'

'Dumbledore said we could use his office - just come straight up, I'll be waiting for you.'  Harry nodded dashing off with a quick wave leaving Lois alone with the two men.  Remus smiled warmly as Sirius cuffed his shoulder with affection.  'Good to see you old friend.'

'And you,' Remus agreed. 'But something of a surprise, what are you doing here?  Has something happened?'

'No, things are pretty quiet, worrying so in fact.  I do have some information for Dumbledore though, which I thought I'd deliver in person so I could see Harry.'

'I'll leave you two alone to talk.'  Lois said into the break in conversation, realising they would hardly want her listening in on their discussion about the progress of the war against Voldemort. 

'No, please don't go just yet.'  Sirius said quickly.  'We've got a meeting with the Headmaster in an hour, so Remus can hear all the news then, but I was hoping I'd get the chance to meet you during my visit Lois; I wanted to thank you for taking care of Harry when he was injured. No,' he insisted when she tried to wave away his thanks. 'I know what you did for him, even going as far as to check up on him once he was back with that poor excuse for a family and I'm well aware that's not part of a muggle nurses job description.'

'There's nothing to thank me for - I wanted to do it.'  Lois said honestly.  'I'm very fond of Harry and he doesn't deserve to be stuck with people like the Dursleys.  Anyway, if it wasn't for him I would never have learnt I was a witch, so really he was the one doing me a favour.'

'Nevertheless, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate it.  It kills me him having to let him go back to those people every summer, but until I can take up Harry's guardianship, I'm forced to rely on the hope that should he ever need help, he'll have the good fortune to encounter someone like you.' 

There was such genuine gratitude and sincere concern for his godson in his eyes that Lois felt herself warming to the man, despite her predisposition not to.  He had almost gotten Severus killed after all, schoolboy prank or not, and she hadn't expected to find anything remotely likeable about him. 

'As I said, it's truly not necessary, but thank you anyway.'  Lois said with a warm smile and watched entertained as the concern faded from his face and a flirting gleam lit in his eyes.

'I must say Lois, now that I've actually met you, I can understand why Harry is so smitten.'  He said with a charming smile. 'Your name has appeared in his letters a great deal lately.' 

'As has Ron and Hermione's and a good many others I'm sure, but if that was supposed to be a compliment, it was very well disguised.'  Lois said amused but attempting to sound offended.  'Are you tying to say the only reason Harry likes me is because of the way I look?'

'Of course not.'  He replied sincerely.  'And perhaps I'm misjudging him, but on the whole, teenage boys aren't generally renowned for seeing any further than surface appearances  – "Only God, my dear, could love you for yourself alone and not your yellow hair."  He quoted, his eyes glinting wickedly.

'Yeats?'  She asked after a surprised pause finally placing the line.  'I didn't know wizards read muggle poetry?'

'Most don't I suppose, but then I've always been fascinated by all things muggle; literature, poetry - women.'  He said with an admiring glance.  'I believe you're half muggle yourself Lois?  I would love to chat with you about that sometime.  It's so difficult to get a true understanding of the muggle world from books alone I've found and especially so with poetry, which has always been something of a… passion of mine.'  He said, his expression purposely soulful.

'The fact that he can con gullible witches into believing he's written it himself has nothing to do with it of course.'  Remus snorted sarcastically.

'I wouldn't dream…' Sirius began attempting to sound highly offended, before trailing of good naturedly when both Lois and Remus shot him identical sceptical looks. 'You see Lois.'  The dark haired wizard said mournfully.  'That's the problem with old friends; they know all your secrets.  Then again true old friends wouldn't dream of revealing them.'  He growled pointedly. 'Don't you agree?'  He asked smiling winningly at Lois.

'Give it up Sirius.'  Remus laughed, amused by his friends intentionally over the top flirtation. 'She's already spoken for.'

'Really?'  Sirius asked with disappointment before brightening almost immediately, a broad smile flooding his face.  'Oh I see!  So the two of you are…?'  He questioned delicately, genuine pleasure in his voice.

'No, just friends.'  Remus and Lois answered almost simultaneously, their eyes meeting with amusement at their dual denial.

'Are you sure?'  Sirius asked directing his question to Remus who nodded firmly and then watched amused as his friend swivelled on the balls of his feet to face Lois once more.  'Well in that case… I see you're not married Lois?'  He said gesturing to her bare left ring finger and she shook her head, her lips pressed firmly together to hold in the laughter that was bubbling.  'And as partners aren't allowed at the school, that can only mean you're involved in a long distance relationship which in my experience never work out, even more so if the man in question is a muggle.  No, what you need Lois is an experienced wizard, one who can be there for you, advise you and even guide you through your initiation into the magical world.'  He said, his eyebrows waggling suggestively in his humour filled face.

'I've got it covered, thanks.'  Lois said with a roll of her eyes at his light-hearted attempt at seduction. 'And you're wrong on both counts anyway; he's not a muggle and this isn't a long-distance relationship.  He's right here at Hogwarts as a matter of fact.'

'He is?  Damn.  I was on a roll there too.' 

'You were?'  Lois questioned with mock amazement.  'You're not seriously telling me that stuff ever works with women?' 

'Hey, you'd be surprised.'  He insisted with a grin.

'I really would.'   

'Ah, Lois you shouldn't have stopped him.' Remus chided joining the conversation.  'I was looking forward to hearing him sell you on how an escapee on the run from Azkaban was still somehow a safer bet than an absent muggle.'   

'Worth a try old man, worth a try.'  Sirius said unoffended.  'So who is this paragon of virtue that holds your complete devotion Lois?  If it's not Remus here, it can't be any of last year's staff.  A new professor?'  He questioned curiously.

'No, an old one.'  Remus answered for her obviously enjoying himself.

'Old?  How old?  Dear god, it's not Dumbledore is it?'  He teased. 'Although now I think about it, I thought the sly fox had an extra twinkle in his eye earlier!'

'Not quite that old.'  Lois replied, bracing herself for his response.  'Actually it's Severus.' 

'Severus?  Severus Snape!?   No, please tell me you're joking?'  He said a look of horror on his face.

'I'm not joking and mind what you're saying about him if you please.'  Lois warned. 

Sirius however wasn't listening to her, instead turning an accusing gaze on his friend.  'You knew about this and you didn't warn her about the greasy slime bag?  I thought you said the two of you were friends?'

'Incredibly important though I'm sure your opinion is to Lois after knowing you for all of five minutes,' Remus said calmly noticing the militant gleam her eye.  'I think it might be better if you kept it to yourself for the time being.'

Sirius snorted, obviously about to continue with his insults when something in Lois's expression stopped him short.  'Er, I suppose Remus is right, as usual; I hope you'll accept my apology Lois.'  He said stiffly.  'It's just that Snape and I have something of a… history which makes it a little difficult for me to hold my tongue on matters relating to him.'

'Yes, I know all about it and rest assured, Severus is equally unbiased.'  Lois said mildly and Remus stepped quickly in, obviously deciding to separate the two of them before the conversation had chance to deteriorate again.

'Well if Snuffles here has quite finished putting his paw in his mouth, perhaps it's time we made our way to Dumbledore?'  He questioned.

Snuffles, Snuffles?  Where had she heard that name before?  'Wait!  You're Snuffles?'  Lois demanded in shock as recollection bloomed.  Harry's godfather was the man Remus was involved with?  Why wouldn't Severus have mentioned Snuffles and Sirius Black were one and the same; he'd certainly had no qualms about voicing his dislike of the other man.  The bigger question occupying her mind right at the moment however, was how the hell Black had the nerve to flirt openly with her in front of poor Remus!  'But…but you licked my hand!'  She said accusingly, latching onto his very first offence.  The lecherous goat had been coming on to her even in canine form! 

'I make a point of kissing the hand of every beautiful woman I meet Lois, but in the absence of human lips, I had to improvise.'  Sirius replied his philandering nature apparently too deeply ingrained to be silenced because although the actual words were as flirtatious as ever, his tone was definitely wary now, her odd outburst along with the revelation about Snape obviously making him reconsider his initial impression of her.

Lois felt herself grow warm with embarrassment as she caught Remus's questioning gaze.  Severus had been right to call Sirius arrogant she fumed silently, angry at being placed in such an awkward position, how could he be so brazen, didn't he care about Remus at all? 

But wait, that wasn't right she realised, as rational thought slowly returned now that the shock had worn off.  Remus hadn't been hurt by Sirius's flirting, only amused and Sirius himself had seemed genuinely happy with the idea that she and Remus were a couple.  In fact thinking about it, none of this added up.  There had been nothing vaguely lover-like in their reactions to seeing each other after what must have been months apart and that wasn't something they could have convincingly pulled off, even if it was a case of them being discrete in front of Harry. Not that they didn't seem fond of each other, there was definite warmth between them, but it was the warmth of best friends, brothers even, certainly not two people who were romantically involved.  Lois bit back a curse as realisation dawned.  Of course they didn't act like lovers, because they weren't lovers at all!  She was a gullible idiot and Severus was a lying toad!

'Is there something wrong Lois?'  Remus asked worriedly, as she began muttering under her breath.

'No, no, just remembered something I'd forgotten to do.' She said unconvincingly, already heading for the door and stopping just before she reached it.  'Er Remus will you have some free time later on, after your meeting with Dumbledore?'

'Certainly.'

'Great!  I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall, before lunch if that's okay?'  She asked shooting him a thankful smile when he pulled his wand to open the door for her.  'Sirius, it was very nice to meet you.'  She called over her shoulder, vaguely aware from the careful way he was watching her that he probably thought her slightly unbalanced. 

'You too.'  He said hesitantly, but by that stage Lois had already gone.

***

Seven o'clock that evening after missing both lunch and dinner, Lois strolled into Severus's chambers with an abstracted greeting.  On seeing her he immediately threw down the article he had been reading and strode towards her.  'Where have you been all day?'  He demanded highly annoyed.

'Oh, just in Hogsmeade.  I needed some new robes.'  She said breezily.  'Actually I've had a lovely day.  I bumped into Remus and we were having such a good time, we didn't realise how late it was until the shops began to close and by then we'd missed dinner, so we decided to eat in the village.'

'Really.'  He said without expression, a dangerous glint appearing in his dark eyes.

'Yes.'  She continued.  'You know it's so nice being able to get a male perspective on clothes without having to worry about any sexual tension or awkwardness getting in the way.'  She chattered on blithely, closely monitoring his reaction out of the corner of her eye as she made herself a cup of tea.

'Indeed.'  He said succinctly, his lips tightening.

'But honestly in this day and age, you wouldn't believe how shocked Madam Malpass was when I invited Remus into the changing rooms with me - no one would bat an eyelid in muggle London.'  She said with a slight laugh.  'Mind you, Remus seemed a bit surprised at first too.'  She admitted thoughtfully.  'And saying he's not interested in women, his eyes certainly seemed to be on stalks I can tell you.'

'What?'  Snape shouted, his pretence of calm completely out of the window.  'He was actually in there with you!'

'Well there wasn't much room outside the changing room.'  Lois said reasonably, 'But it was absolutely huge inside - it would have been silly for me to have to keep running backwards and forwards when there was plenty of space in with me and even a chair for him to sit on.'

'Are you telling me you let him see you undressed!'  He bellowed.

'Well yes, but he didn't mind.'  She hurried to assure him.  'I mean he seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, but he soon got the hang of it.  By the end of the day he was grabbing robes left right and centre for me to try on.'  She informed him happily.

Snape looked stunned, his mouth opening and closing, but no words emerging.  Finally managing to pull himself together long, silent moments later, he attempted to speak again, but looking into her glinting eyes his face stiffened into a pained wince, which remained as he spoke.  'You know, don't you?'  He asked rhetorically.

'Yes I know you lying ratbag!'  Lois said sounding highly annoyed.  In reality however, thanks to her lifelong, and vexing, inability to hold a grudge, the majority of her earlier anger had gradually dwindled to almost nothing over the long day, and his immensely satisfying impression of a stunned halibut just then, had very successfully burnt away the last remaining traces.  Not that it would do to let him know that of course; he still owed her an explanation and an apology.

'How did you find out?'  He asked carefully.

'Because I met Snuffles today and I could have very easily made a complete idiot of myself thanks to you!  I can't believe you lied to me like that!'

'I didn't precisely lie…'

'Don't!  Don't you dare try to wriggle out of this Severus.  You knew full well Remus wasn't gay, or at the very least that he wasn't involved with Sirius Black, and you deliberately led me to believe he was.  Honestly, what the hell were you thinking?'  She demanded fixing him with an accusing stare.

'If you must know,' he bit out begrudgingly. 'I suppose I was thinking that it wouldn't hurt to thin out the competition, which, as far as I'm aware, isn't a hanging offence.'

'What?  Even back then?'  Lois questioned, slightly surprised even though unacknowledged in the back of her mind, she had rather hoped that was the reason why. 

'Yes.'  He hissed, obviously hating having his emotions on display, before visibly calming to say placatingly.  'Look, there's really no need to be upset Achelois, I was simply trying to…'

'Stack the odds in your favour?' 

'Well… yes.'  He admitted with chagrin. 'But none of that mattered ultimately anyway and I fail to see what will be achieved by dwelling on it now.  Water under the bridge.'  He said, attempting a casually dismissive wave, his eyes however were watchful and wary, cataloguing her every reaction

Viewing his discomfort Lois suddenly saw that slightly unhealthy though it was, and much as Hugo might disagree, these shows of possessiveness and jealousy in a man who was normally so unrelentingly reticent, gave her hope that it was in fact love he felt for her, even if he didn't use the words.  His sharply voiced, 'Well?' had her reigning in her drifting thoughts and refocusing on him as she realised he was still waiting for a response.

'What I don't understand is why you would even think he was interested in me anyway?'  She asked genuinely bewildered by the logic behind his reasoning.  Remus had never once indicated he saw her as anything other than a friend.

'Don't be ridiculous Lois, of course he would want you, he's a man isn't he?  He has eyes doesn't he?'  He barked impatiently and despite his unromantic tone, the words alone would probably have been enough to get him off the hook on the spot.  If he had stopped there that was.  Unfortunately he had more to say and when Severus Snape had more to say, he generally said it.  'And that's without the fact that you're the only woman under fifty in this godforsaken hellhole we're all condemned to for ten months of the year.  Obviously he wouldn't have turned you down if you'd showed a speck of interest in him.' 

'Oh well that's charming isn't it!  So the only reason we're together is because you're trapped in a wasteland of female companionship and I'm handy?'

'That isn't what I meant; I was simply attempting to answer the question that you asked.  It was Lupin I was suggesting had indiscriminate tastes, not me.'  He said calmingly, aware his rash response was about to cause the argument to mutate into something far messier.  'In any event,' he hurried on, deciding a good offence might indeed be the best defence. 'I really don't see why you're making such a performance about this; what difference does it make?  You're with me now. Or is that the problem?'  He said his voice suddenly harsh.  'That you wouldn't be with me if you'd known there was a chance with Lupin?

'Of course not you idiot!'  Lois rebuked recognising the real concern behind his sudden belligerence. 'I like Remus immensely but I'm not attracted to him, how could I be when you're all I've bloody thought about since practically the moment I met you!'  She held up a warning hand as some of the tension faded from his tautly held body, and a complacent smile began to edge its way across his lips.  'But that still doesn't make what you did okay, my problem is that I don't like being manipulated.  Put yourself in my place Severus; how would you have felt if I'd done that to you?' 

As a matter of fact, he thought, he would be very happy indeed to discover she was insanely jealous of him, but he guessed that wasn't the answer she was looking for, so instead said as sincerely as he could.  'You're right, I shouldn't have lied to you; it was immature and wrong of me to try to influence your decision in that way.'  His eyes widened with dismay as an unpalatable thought suddenly occurred.  'Am I going to have to apologise to Lupin?' 

Lois considered drawing out his torment, but relented, he had apologised, which was all she'd wanted, and quite nicely too.  'No.  I did go to Hogsmeade with him, but that was just to keep him out of your way.  I should have told him though, it might have taught you a lesson.  No more lies.'  She said sternly pointing a warning finger at him.

'You have my word.'  He assured her, thinking for a guilty moment of Spinks who was still canvassing for information and Poppy who was continuing to watch her room, neither of which she knew about.  He pushed the guilt aside; it was for her own good after all.  Deciding a change of subject was needed and wishing for a more pleasant topic he reluctantly asked, 'So Black's turned up again has he?  Do you know why?' 

'To see Harry, oh and Dumbledore.'  She remembered.  Severus raised a questioning eyebrow and Lois shook her head.  'He said things were quiet and that he had some information, but I don't know any more than that I'm afraid. '  She said with an apologetic shrug.

'Damn, that must be why the Headmaster wanted to see me, I wonder if Black's gone yet.'  Snape muttered his face twisting with dislike.

'Probably not.'  Lois admitted.  'Harry was going to meet him in Dumbledore's office after school, so they're more than likely still there and what do you mean wanted to - haven't you been to see him yet?'  She asked surprised.  A summons from Dumbledore wasn't taken lightly by anyone.

'Actually I was rather more concerned with your mysterious disappearance.  I didn't give him second thought until just now.'  He confessed quietly, already halfway out the door and Lois grouchily forced back her burgeoning guilt, annoyed that he had somehow managed to leave her feeling childish and petty.

***  

The meeting hadn't taken long and Severus was back in a surprisingly short amount of time, saying only, and with a definite air of superiority, that Black had had no information he wasn't already aware of.  Aware, or not, he was decidedly tense and grim faced on his return and Lois hadn't questioned him further, instead sending him off to soak his tensions away in a hot bath.  Despite his protests, she had refused to join him knowing full well that if she did, relaxing would be the very last thing on either of their minds.  

Once Severus was safely, although begrudging, ensconced in his solitary bath, Lois looked around the room for something to occupy her time until he finished.  Spying her wand on a side table, and remembering a lecture from Severus on proper wand care earlier in the week, she decided to try out the bottle of Linseed oil he had pointed out to her for just that purpose.  Ten minutes later she gave the soft rosewood wand one last polish, reluctantly impressed with the gleaming lustre she had achieved. 

Wondering whether there would be any improvement other than cosmetic, she raised the wand high in the air for an experimental wave.  She was immediately less impressed when the wand shot out of her grasp on the first downward stroke and promptly disappeared under the bed.  Grumbling she stooped next to the four-poster and blindly ran her fingers along the floor underneath it.  When they encountered nothing, she gingerly knelt down on the cold stone floor, twisting her head to one side and peering searchingly into the gloom, finally spotted her wand lying a frustrating distance away.  Not keen on the idea of lying flat out on the freezing ground, she instead tried ducking her shoulders under the high bed and flattening herself as much as possible on her bent knees.  Constricted in the awkward position, she tilted her head to see the wand now only a few tantalising inches out of reach.

'Stupid slippy wand.  What's the point of being a witch if I still have to crawl around on the floor?'  She muttered grumpily.

'Did you say something?'  Severus called from the bathroom.  'No just talking to myself!'  She shouted her voice muffled by the bed.

She waited for a second and when he made no reply, she bent back to her task her shoulders protesting as she tried to stretch the last few inches needed.  'Stupid…. Bloody…. Why can't I just… Accio wand!'  The wand flew across the floor at her impatient words straight into her outstretched hand.  Lois jerked up with a gasp, her head cracking sharply against the wooden beams of the bed above her.

'Damn, damn, damn.'  She chanted quietly, eyes watering and stray tears spilling down her cheeks from the pain in her throbbing head, which she barely even noticed so panicked was she by what had just happened.  Did wands have a homing device?  Or was it…?

She shuffled awkwardly backwards until she was free of the confines of the bed and looked with distaste at the wand in her hands.  Oh god, had it come back?  Her heart thumped slowly with dread and she heaved herself onto the soft bed, sitting cross-legged in the centre, her wand lying on the covers in front of her.  Check and see, a little voice whispered in her head and quickly before Severus comes out.  She couldn't say precisely why, but she didn't want him to know if this… thing had returned, probably because of the relief he had been unable to hide at the failed feather experiment with Dumbledore. 

Anyway, she tried to assure herself, perhaps wands did have a homing device and even if they didn't, Dumbledore himself had said it could have been caused by heightened emotions and she had been pretty annoyed just then.  He had also said that it would fade as her skills grew, so maybe this was just a last spurt before it disappeared altogether.  So try it then, the annoying little voice whispered slyly, try it if you're so sure.

She took in a gulping breath of calming air and stared intently at a book on the desk across the room.  Closing her eyes she took a second to focus her thoughts before shouting silently "Accio book!"   Feeling a shift in the air around her, she opened her eyes just in time to fling out a hand to grab the book, milliseconds before it hit her square in the face.

'What's wrong?' Severus asked making her practically jump out of her skin with shock.  She hadn't even heard the bathroom door opening.

'Nothing!'  She said quickly turning to look at him.  His hair was damp and he was wearing only a long green bathrobe, the colour so dark it appeared almost black under the flickering lamplight in the room.

'What's that?'

'Nothing!  Oh, er, a book.'  Lois muttered feeling foolish as he stepped forward to take it from her limp grasp. He pulled a disparaging face as he read the title before dropping it back onto the bed next to her.

'Muggles.'  He snorted  'As if there aren't enough monsters in the real world without them making up more.  What were you doing?  Reading it and frightened yourself silly in the process?'  He mocked, but his eyes were watchful as they took in her pale face and wide eyes.

Seeing his concern Lois ordered herself firmly to get a grip, after all Dumbledore hadn't seemed excessively worried and no one knew more about magic than he did.  'No I wasn't actually.'  She managed to inform Snape haughtily, her panic retreating as she spoke.  'Thanks to your advice, my wand slid out of my hand and I banged my head on the bed trying to get it back.  It never did that before I oiled it.  And on behalf of muggles everywhere, I resent your remarks.'  She said with a smile in her voice.  'It might not be one of those highbrow, impenetrable tomes you read and okay, perhaps this isn't a prime example.'  She admitted indicating the trashy paperback with its gory cover.  'But muggles have been responsible for creating some amazing works of art.'

'I couldn't agree more, in fact your father's creation is worthy of particular note.'  He said his eyes gleaming hotly in his impassive face.

'You old flatterer you!'  Lois smiled with delight.  His voice had been so expressionless it had taken a moment for the compliment to sink in.  This, she thought with a surge of affection, was why she loved him.  The compliments might never flow as free and easy as they would with someone like Sirius Black, but that was what made them all the more valuable and precious to her; quality not quantity.

'Less of the old if you please!'  He huffed in an offended tone.

'Well Severus you have got almost ten years on me and I have to confess, I've been a little worried lately about your keeping up with me, you know – in the bedroom department?'  She said her voice lowered confidingly on the last two words.

'Why you little…!   I'll have you know…' He began his black eyes flashing fire before he noticed the smile she was making no attempt to hide.  'I see.'  He said silkily.  'In that case, perhaps a small experiment is in order to see which one of us gets tired first?'  He suggested softly, a predatory gleam in his eyes now.

Lois shivered delicately at the promise in his voice, rising up on her knees to edge towards the end of the bed where he still stood.  Her arms looped loose around his waist, almost on eye level with him because of the height of the bed.  'I'm game if you are Severus, but are you quite sure you're up to this?'  She enquired solicitously, shrieking with startled laughter when he pushed her suddenly backwards onto the bed, prowling over her like a sleek jungle cat.

'Perfectly sure.'  He purred his descending lips cutting off her soft sigh of delight.

***

So successful were Severus's methods of distraction, including at one point sharing a bath with him after all, that Lois had been able to push her worries over the wandless magic out of her head almost completely.  However, when four o'clock rolled around and she was still lying sleepless in his arms, she knew it was time to concede defeat.

'Severus, are you awake?'  She said in a rather loud whisper, knowing full well that he was not. 'Sev-er-us are you sleeping?'  She asked with an accompanying nudge.  He grunted softly only pulling her closer. 'Severus please wake up!' She gave in, struggling free of his arms to lean over him and shake him roughly by the shoulders.

'Wha… What d'you want?'  He mumbled sleepily opening his eyes for a second before closing them almost immediately.

'I can't sleep.  I need to talk to you.'

'Fine, you win.'  He groused, not opening his eyes.  'You have more stamina than me, now go to sleep Achelois and let an old man get his rest - it's the middle of the bloody night.' 

'I did magic again tonight without my wand.'  She said quietly.

He sat up with a jerk muttering a spell so that the room was illuminated suddenly, both of them blinking painful in the harsh light.

'What spell?'  He asked.

'When I lost my wand under the bed, I tried to reach it and when I couldn't I accidentally  "Accio-ed" it to me.'

'Oh is that all?'  He said on a release of breath, lying back down again.  'That's nothing.  Dumbledore told you we're all capable of basic wandless magic and retrieving your own wand from a short distance is probably one of the easiest spells there is.'

'I thought of that.'  Lois said still sitting tensely by his side. 'But to be sure I tried something else without my wand.  And without words.'

'What?'

'I called that book you saw.  I'd just done it when you came out of the bathroom.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'  He asked angrily sitting up again.

'I don't know.'  Lois admitted miserably.  'I was scared and I thought…. Oh I don't know what I thought. What am I going to do?'

'Is it still working?'

'No, I tried before I woke you up – nothing again.'  She said her face pale and suddenly very young looking. 

He sighed heavily. 'It's still probably nothing, or at least no more than what the Headmaster already suspected.  You were frustrated I take it when you couldn't reach your wand?'

'I certainly was.'

'And did you really hit your head?'  He asked his tone darkening, plainly still annoyed she hadn't confided in him immediately.

'Yes I really did.'  Lois said quickly.

'Well there you go, extreme emotions – anger, frustration, pain, fear.  If Dumbledore is right in his hypothesis that emotions trigger your ability, that would all add up and if as he said it will cease occurring with time, that would explain why it only happens intermittently.'

'Do you think so?'  Lois asked already feeling much better, despite the fact he had only confirmed what she had already been thinking and kicking herself for not telling him immediately.

'I'm almost positive.'  He assured pulling her back down to lie next to him and drawing her close.

Lois settled her head against his chest with a happy sigh snuggling against him.  'Thanks Severus.'  She murmured totally exhausted. 'I don't know why I panicked.'

'Go to sleep.'  He replied and listened to her breathing slow and even out as she did so, staring into the darkness for a long time afterwards until his own exhaustion finally caught up with him sometime just before dawn.

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A/N   Summersun – Well a big part of the reason is because it would muck up the plot if he did : ), but just as importantly Snape - I've always thought – wouldn't actually even like himself very much, let alone love himself.  Now that being the case, it would take a lot of convincing before he would believe that someone could love him in return hence his hesitation and doubt, but as you'll see from this chapter, he's getting there. 

Squirrel thanks and sorry, but yes, you're right, the story is nearly finished.  Two more chapters, maybe three I'm thinking and then that's me done.  I'm not sure yet whether I'm happy or sad about that.  Happy I think, well I'll see soon enough I suppose :)

Finally thank you all as always for your reviews and I'm sorry this chapter was so long, I don't know what happened. I'll make a concerted effort from now on to keep them to a more reasonable length!