Disclaimer:  Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe belongs to J K Rowling, no infringement is intended to any copyright holder

Beloved on this Earth

~ 0 ~

Lois trudged across the grounds away from the greenhouses and her rather wasted tutoring session with Sorrel Sprout.  She had still been too filled with joy over the discovery that the ring was responsible for the wandless magic, to be able to concentrate properly on Sorrel's instructions on how to safely transplant Biting Buddleia Bushes.  Noticing her distraction, Sorrel had offered to postpone the lesson and they had instead spent a pleasant couple of hours drinking herbal tea and gossiping.  Lois had only left as lunchtime approached and some of Sorrel's more demanding plants had started yowling to be fed.

Catching sight of movement out the corner of her eye, Lois looked up, the voices that had obviously been calling her name for some time finally penetrating her oblivious state.  Smiling now as she recognised Harry, Ron and Hermione, Lois waved in response across the expanse of grass and changed direction to head towards them. 

'Hello there, where are you three off to?' she asked when they all met up half way.  'Not bunking off classes I hope?' she said mock sternly, knowing full well they wouldn't be.  Not so much because she imagined they had never done such a thing, but more because if they were, they certainly wouldn't have let her catch them in the act.

'Certainly not!' Hermione insisted scandalised.

'As if we would Lois,' Harry assured smiling broadly, while Ron unsuccessfully attempted to look mortally wounded by the suggestion.  'No, we've got a free lesson so we're visiting Hagrid,' Harry continued gesturing towards the small round hut behind him, the smoke billowing cheerfully from the chimney making it look lived in for the first time since Lois had arrived at Hogwarts. 

'Um, you should come with us,' Ron said managing to look her fully in the eye.  His crush had been slowly dwindling with all of the exposure to her company, and he could actually talk to her now for long stretches of time without changing colour once. Lois had noticed he only seemed to regress to his original stuttering state when she wore Muggle clothing, especially anything that showed a hint of cleavage.  After realising this, she had done her best to make sure she was covered from neck to toe if she knew she was going to be seeing him with Harry.  Luckily thanks to the cold weather that day, she was well wrapped up and barely an inch of uncovered skin was on show.

'Oh no, no,' Lois demurred immediately.  'He's only just got back.  I'm sure you all have a lot of catching up to do.' 

Hagrid had apparently returned from his "secret" visit with the giant population two days ago.  The first Lois had seen of him was when he had clomped into the Great Hall yesterday morning for breakfast, the enormous man beaming from ear to ear with pleasure at his return home, and bellowing greetings over to Harry and the others, as he settled himself at the High Table two chairs down from Lois.  She and Elena Roupe had both been introduced, and Lois had quickly found that Hagrid's sweet nature belied his rather fearsome outward appearance, just as Harry had assured her it did.  She had been in the middle of happily chatting with him about her time at Hogwarts, over an increasingly sour faced Snape who separated the two of them, when Hugo Quade had arrived.  Hagrid had immediately pulled out the empty chair to his right for the temporary Care of Magical Creatures professor, and had begun interrogating him on his classes before Hugo had even sat down.  Lois had watched amused, as an increasingly incredulous Hagrid had systematically worked his way through the lesson plans he had left, obviously dismayed that Quade had used practically none of the creatures he'd intended. 

Looking more and more distraught with every passing second, the groundskeeper had eventually pulled a tatty notebook and quill from one of his many capacious pockets, and begun reading out what had apparently been his class curriculum for the year.   Listening to the catalogue of terrifying sounding creatures, Lois at least had been exceedingly glad Hugo had made his own arrangements.  Hagrid, however, had not been as delighted.  By three quarters of the way through the list, his disappointment could no longer be contained.

'What about the Occamy?  Did yeh use him?  Took me forever to talk tha' bloke at the sanctuary into lettin' us borrow it ter study,' he said plaintively. 

Hugo shook his head apologetically.  'Well, no, I thought it would be a bit too dangerous Hagrid, especially for the first years.  They are very… aggressive creatures after all, and perhaps a little advanced for eleven year olds?'

Hagrid seemed to shrink in his seat at this.  'D'yeh think so?' he questioned a little uncertainly, his bright black eyes dulling momentarily as he glanced back down at his battered notebook with a frown.  'But… but didn't yeh use any of me animals?' he finally asked mournfully, 'not even the Bewilderbeast?'

'No, definitely not the Bewilderbeast,' Hugo said forcefully wincing at the prospect, before seeming to take pity on the other man who looked crushed by the news.  Leaning over he pulled the notebook towards him, scanning his way down the messily written list with difficulty, until finally spotting an entry towards the bottom of the page, and tapping it with the butter knife he still held in his hand.  'Here you go!  We had nearly three weeks worth of lessons on fire crabs.  The students really seemed to have fun with those.' 

Hagrid brightened slightly at that, a smile briefly illuminating his features.  'Yeah, thought they'd enjoy 'em.  Anyone get burnt?' he asked interestedly and Hugo shook his head no, shooting a quick wink at Lois as Hagrid nodded approvingly.  'Real shame 'bout the rest though.  Had a great year planned 'fore…' he trailed off with a deep sigh. 

'There's still plenty of the year left,' Hugo pointed out bracingly, 'and I'm sure you'll be eager to get straight back in the saddle?' he asked to which Hagrid nodded enthusiastically, his long beard dangling in his porridge as he did so.  Sitting at his side, Snape's face twisted in disgust as Hagrid immediately jerked his head sharply backwards, causing porridge to splatter across the potion masters previously pristine robes with a wet squelch.

'Right, that's it!' Severus snarled, having already narrowly avoiding having hot tea spilled in his lap twice in the last five minutes when Hagrid had reached for the sugar bowl, and then the toast rack moments later. 

Snape's irritated tone finally succeeding in distracting Hagrid from his beloved class for a minute, and he turned away from Hugo to beam at the scowling potions master.  'Missed seein' yer smilin' face at breakfast Snape – good ter be back,' he announced cheerfully. 

Snape grunted in reply, standing abruptly and impatiently waving away the other man's attempts to assist him as he brushed ineffectively at his stained clothes.  With a muttered, 'Clumsy oaf,' to Lois in lieu of an actual goodbye, Snape stalked off towards the rear entrance without speaking another word to anyone.

Lois glanced cautiously over at the large man expecting him to be annoyed by Severus's rudeness, only to find him still grinning.  When he noticed her watching him, he bent towards her across the now empty chair at his side. 

'Don' normally sit next ter Professor Snape,' he confided unabashed.  'Never his best at mealtimes tha' one.'  Hiding her smile at his serious tone, Lois had simply nodded her agreement, excusing herself from the table not long afterwards leaving Hagrid and Hugo still deep in discussion about magical creatures.

'You should come Lois,' Harry said his voice dragging her back to the present.  'Hagrid said to invite you, but when we went to the Infirmary to ask if you wanted to come, Madam Pomfrey didn't know where you were.' 

'Are you sure?' Lois questioned not wanting to intrude, but also not having anywhere in particular to be for the rest of the afternoon.  She could study she supposed, but really she was in far too good a mood at the moment for anything that productive.  Anyway, if she returned to the castle now, she ran the risk of bumping into Severus, something she'd planned to avoid until he'd had the chance to get over his annoyance with her for not rebuffing Moody's overture of friendship that morning.

'Positive,' Harry insisted and Lois smiled her agreement, joining the three of them as they retraced their steps back towards Hagrid's little wooden house.  Moments later they were all sitting cosily around a large table, Hagrid bustling about making a huge pot of tea, while Ron took his turn being slobbered over by Fang the borehound, who was obviously delighted to see the children again.

'Stoat sandwich Lois?'  Hagrid asked appearing at her side and brandishing a huge plate of doorstep-sized sandwiches with a flourish.

'I'm sorry?'

'Stoat sandwich,' he repeated smiling through his bushy beard and jiggling the full platter enticingly.

'Er – is that made with a…. real stoat?' Lois questioned carefully making no effort to take one, and in fact unconsciously shrinking back slightly when she spotted what looked like a patch of fur poking out from between two slices of wholegrain bread.  At least she hoped it was wholegrain bread.

'Course it is!'  Hagrid defended quickly, apparently appalled by the suggestion that he might be offering her some type of inferior stoat substitute.  'Fresh an' all.  None o' that canned rubbish!  Foun' it in one of me traps when I got back.'

Lois was hard pressed to pin down what was the most disturbing aspect of that statement.  The fact that you could get canned stoat, the fact that Hagrid's idea of fresh was something that had been caught, at best, two days ago, or the fact that she was being offered stoat as a snack in any form whatsoever.

'Umm, thank you Hagrid but I've just eaten a big… thing,' she finally said lamely, her mind refusing to come up with anything more convincing in the rush to turn down the revolting dish.

'I could cut it in half fer yeh?' he offered generously. 'Prob'ly seems a bit big fer a tiny thing like you, eh?' he said putting the plate down and picking up a huge carving knife that Lois was sure in Victorian times would have been used to saw off a leg.

'Oh no, honestly I'm full,' she protested hurriedly.  Hagrid obligingly adjusted the knife reducing the size of the slice still further.  'Really Hagrid, thank you but I couldn't possible eat any because I… I'm a vegetarian!' Lois declared in ringing tones of relief. 'Almost verging on vegan really,' she added quickly, not wanting to risk having to consume anything of an animal nature.

Out the corner of her eye she caught sight of Harry and Ron nodding approvingly at her lie.  Even Hermione, whose love of honesty occasionally bordered on obsession, looked reluctantly understanding.

'Are yeh?' Hagrid asked his eyebrows scrunching together with puzzlement and thankfully lowering the huge knife back to the table.  'Thought I saw yeh eatin' bacon this mornin' at breakfast,' he mumbled thoughtfully.

'Oh, well you see…' Damn why hadn't she just said she was on a diet?  'I'm not really, totally strict about it.  I eat fish sometimes and eggs and… bacon.' Lois attempted a smile that crumpled slightly around the edges when the half giant only looked even more confused.

'It's a Muggle thing Hagrid,' Harry said quickly and Hagrid's perplexed frown disappeared in an instant as he nodded knowingly. 

'Ah!  Yeh've got some funny ways you Muggles,' he said with an indulgent shake of his head.  'Met a Muggle bloke once who said he was a "postman."  Can yeh believe it?  Had ter walk fer miles pushing letters through other Muggles doors.  Imagine tha' – a man doin' an owls job.  Ah, bless 'em,' he said with real affection.  'Still pity that though Lois - you bein' a vegetarian.   I've bin workin' on a new recipe for vole-au-vent's this mornin'.  Got the idea when I was visitin'… er, some… friends recently,' he trailed off covering his slip with a cough.

Lois along with the others pretended not to notice.  Although Harry had already told her his suspicions as to where Hagrid had been since term began, the other man plainly believed his mission had been top secret.

'Vol-au-vent's?  That is a shame,' Lois lied repeating his strange pronunciation.  'I love them actually, but there's no way I could make the pastry from scratch, I'd have to buy…' she trailed off as what he had said finally sank in.  'The filling's a vole isn't it?'

'Yeah, o' course!  Never would have thought of it meself, but the ones I tried came out a real treat.  Smashin' idea fer a buffet an' all – jus' the right size,' he said enthusiastically.

Lois nodded queasily and made a mental note never to attend a soiree Hagrid was hosting unless she had eaten before she arrived. Still, a small voice pointed out fairly, who was she to judge?  When you came right down to it, animal flesh was animal flesh and who decided that rat was disgusting and chicken delicious?  Of course, the only reason she could be objective on the subject was because she wasn't holding a pastry stuffed with dead vermin at the moment. 

'It's nice swapping recipes,' she finally replied limply, apparently the only person able to speak at the moment.  At the first mention of vole-au-vent's, Harry, Ron and Hermione had begun frantically cramming fudge into their mouths from the package in the middle of the table.  Lois had thought their behaviour odd at the time, especially given how sickly they had all been looking.  Now, however, she realised they had seen what was coming and were obviously far more experienced than she at gracefully refusing the food Hagrid offered; with their mouths conveniently glued shut, they had no need to make excuses. She shot Harry a vaguely accusing glare for not warning her and he managed an apologetic grimace with difficulty.  Clearly when it came to avoiding Hagrid's culinary experiments, it was every man for himself. 

Realising no assistance would be forthcoming from the now mute trio, she turned her attention back towards Hagrid to find him beaming bushily at her.  'Still,' she managed to ask semi-cheerfully into the fast growing silence, 'voles must be very difficult to bone?'

'Bone?'  Hagrid repeated, his tone echoing his bewilderment at the concept.

Lois went green.

**

'I'm sorry, but I'm really going to have to go,' Lois said rising regretfully half an hour later.  'I've got a couple of essays due tomorrow that I haven't even started yet.'  Hermione's instinctive reproving frown vanished almost immediately, as she realised that for once she wasn't dealing with one of Harry and Ron's many attempts to avoid their homework.  Noticing her reaction, Lois grinned over at the young girl.  'Hey, maybe I could just say Fang ate it,' she teased pausing to stroke the large dogs ears that had pricked at hearing his name, and Hermione smiled back in response.

'I wouldn't try that one,' Harry advised over the boarhound's ecstatic whines, 'Ron's already used it twice.  Professor McGonagall found out and said if any more of his homework gets eaten, he'd better have a missing hand to back it up next time.'  Ron nodded glumly in confirmation and Lois pulled a consoling face at his doleful expression as she collected her belongings together.

Twisting in his chair, Harry said his goodbyes along with everyone else and watched as Hagrid stood to see Lois the few steps to the door, gruffly waving away her thanks for the tea and telling her she was welcome to visit him any time.  As the cabin door closed behind her, a frown creased Harry's forehead as the unpleasant thought struck him that the real reason she was dashing off, probably had more to do with seeing Snape than any unfinished homework.

'All right, Harry?'  Hagrid asked coming to sit back down at the table and obviously noticing his scowl.

'Yeah,' Harry said hurriedly not wanting to have to answer any awkward questions.  He wasn't sure if the Professors knew about Lois and Snape, and he certainly didn't want to be the one explaining that to Hagrid if they didn't. Especially when he couldn't explain it to himself.  'So when are you going to start teaching classes again Hagrid?'

'Next week mos' likely,' Hagrid said accepting the subject change without question.  'Quade said he'll stay an' finish Streelers with you lot firs' ter give me chance ter catch up on all me groundskeepin' duties.  That git Filch hasn' done half the jobs he was supposed ter do,' he grumbled yanking the still full plate of sandwiches towards him grumpily.

'Professor Quade's leaving that soon?' Hermione asked quickly, the disappointment in her tone gaining everyone's attention.  'Perhaps we should get him a present,' she suggested a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks.

'What for?' Ron demanded eyeing her flushed face suspiciously.  'We've never given one to any of the other professors.  Not even Lupin and we liked him.'

'We like Professor Quade,' Hermione said primly.  'Don't we Harry?'

'He's okay I suppose,' Harry shrugged uninterestedly, most of his attention reluctantly focussed on Hagrid as he enthusiastically demolished three of the disgusting sandwiches in quick succession.  'But I'm not sure about getting him…'

'D'yeh think Quade's classes have bin better than mine then?'  Hagrid interrupted looking crestfallen and dropping a half eaten sandwich back onto the plate with a small thud.  'Cause he's missed a load of good stuff out yeh know; plenty of interestin' magical creatures comin' up now I'm back,' he promised, as though this was a treat rather than a cause for concern.

'No, no Hagrid,' Hermione rushed to assure a touch desperately on seeing Hagrid's distress, and plainly regretting having started the conversation now. 'I just meant it was a shame for him having to leave that's all.  I'm glad you're going to be teaching us again.  We've really missed you, haven't we?' she asked looking to the boys for confirmation.

'Yeah,' Harry said quickly, sincerity shining in his voice.  'Hogwarts isn't the same without you around Hagrid.'

'Course it isn't,' said Ron, shooting Hermione a reproachful glance. 'And your classes are miles better than Quade's,' he disparaged, as though he hadn't been singing the temporary professors praises every time a Care of Magical Creatures lesson had ended with all the Gryffindor students limbs still attached.  In fact, his only cause for complaint so far this year, had been the unlikelihood of an accident befalling Malfoy and his goons with the rather tame animals they had been studying.  

'Thanks fer tha' kids, good to know,' Hagrid said mistily, blowing his nose loudly before looking over at the three of them once he had composed himself once more.  'So are yeh goin' ter get him a present?' he asked interestedly, magnanimous in victory.

'No!' Ron announced forcefully at the same time as Hermione said, 'Well we could start a collection.'

'A collection of what?' Ron asked bewildered.

'Of money!  To buy the present silly!'

Ron snorted loudly. 'Buy?  Forget it, I thought you meant making him something and I wasn't even going to do that.  Anyway, I need all my money.'

'What for,' Hermione questioned disdainfully her nose in the air, 'run out of dungbombs again have you?'

'As a matter of fact no,' he informed her loftily while Harry and Hagrid watched on amused. 'I'm saving it to buy Christmas presents, which you'd think some people would be more appreciative of.' 

'Oh,' Hermione said quietly looking a little embarrassed.  'Well, that's kind of you I suppose.  Although you have had all year to save,' she continued more firmly, 'You've really left it a bit late now Ron – I brought most of my presents in September.'

'You would,' Ron muttered, but Harry noticed, not loud enough for Hermione to hear. 'Anyhow,' he said in his normal voice, 'it's not right, us buying them presents.  We're the ones forced to sit through their classes all year, at least they're getting paid for it.  Quade should be buying us presents.' 

'Of course he shouldn't!  You buy gifts for the people who are leaving Ron, not the people who are staying, that's just the way it works!'

'Well I'm against it on principle,' Ron said refusing to be budged.  'Mind you, I wouldn't mind chipping in if it'd convince some of the other professors to go – Snape for starters,' he muttered darkly, 'then Roupe,' he added as an afterthought.

'What's wrong with Professor Roupe?' Hermione demanded sharply.

'She looks like a troll.'

'Ron!   Don't be so rude,' Hermione snapped ignoring the snort of laughter both Harry and Hagrid unsuccessfully tried to bite back at Ron's declaration. 'Just because she isn't very… pretty is no reason to dislike her.'

'Fine!' Ron huffed.  'What about the fact she nearly cursed Harry's head off not long back?'

'That was an accident!  She didn't mean to hurt him, she was trying to teach him.'

'Didn't do a very good job if then did she?' Ron snorted.

'I bet you wouldn't be saying that if she looked like Lois though, would you?' Hermione asked sharply and Harry was surprised to hear a note of jealousy creeping into her voice. 

Ron however, missed it completely.  'Yes I would.  If she ever nearly took Harry's head off!'

'Oh, you're just being sexist because she's a woman doing what's always been a man's job,' Hermione huffed, her spine ramrod straight as she glared angrily at Ron.  'It's okay to have female professors for Herbology or Astronomy, but let them try to teach something more dangerous like Defence Against the Dark Arts and suddenly they're a troll!'

As Hermione's voice rose higher, Harry started to worry that the argument might result in another S.P.E.W.-like campaign, and he really didn't want to find himself walking Hogwarts halls wearing a badge with Roupe's picture on it.  He was frantically trying to think of something to say to deflate the fast growing quarrel when he heard Ron mutter, 'That's assuming she is a woman.'

'Well, now you're just being silly,' Hermione said shrilly.  'Of course she's a woman and that's what the problem is.' 

'No, the problem is that no one can stand her Hermione, she's a nutter with all her stupid rules and endless homework – she gives us more than anyone!  And we're never even going to need half the things she's teaching us anyway; Fred said a load of those curses and counter curses are from the dark ages.'

'Dark ages or not, we might need them one day Ron, just because they're old doesn't mean they don't work.  And you're wrong about no one liking her – I …' Hermione trailed off as Ron stared at her eyebrows raised, daring her to utter the lie.  'Okay I don't like her, but she's good at her job – as good as Professor Lupin or Moody, which is why Dumbledore hired her.  All these years with hardly a single decent Dark Arts teacher, and now because of…' she glanced at Harry for a second and quickly looked away, 'well, now he's making sure he's got it right.'

'Yeah and he thought he'd got it right with Lockhart didn't he?' Ron asked with a pointed look that caused Hermione to flush angrily.

'Professor Lockhart was a very good teacher!  He just… Wait, don't try to change the subject!  We were talking about your prejudiced attitude towards strong women.  You didn't say anything when that Hysteria Hex Professor Moody was demonstrating on Harry made him try to disarm half of the class because he thought their quills were plotting against him.  You thought it was funny!'

'Well I didn't,' Harry interrupted before Ron could respond.  'Why does everyone have to practice on me?' he asked with remembered annoyance.  He'd had to give Lavender Brown two of his best quills in replacement for the ones he'd melted of hers, and she still wasn't talking to him.  Neville wasn't best pleased with him either for that matter, but with slightly better reason; the curse he'd aimed at his quill had missed and hit Neville's inkwell instead, covering the other boy's face and hands in 'Columbus Frink's Never Fade Ink'.  "Never Fade" might have been something of an overstatement, but it had still taken numerous Scouring Charms in the Infirmary to remove the stains completely.  Unfortunately he now looked like he had a bad case of sunburn, and Madam Pomfrey had said it would take at least another week for it to fade completely.

'Because, Harry, you're the Boy who Lived,' Ron reminded with a grin as he turned to face him.  'The Professors probably reckon they're safe using you – if You-Know-Who couldn't finish you off, what chance have they got?'

'Probably because they think I'm going to need the practice more like,' Harry said with a touch of bitterness that killed the argument stone dead, and left everyone awkwardly silent. 

Finally Hagrid made a loud "harrumphing" noise and patted Harry reassuringly on the back, the force of his blow sending him face first into the box of fudge on the table. 'Or maybe it's 'cause they can see yer a great wizard Harry,' Hagrid said bluffly.  'I know that's why I always pick yeh firs' in class.'

And because everyone else would run screaming into the Forbidden Forrest if he called on them, Harry thought with a touch of humour, grateful for Hagrid's attempt to comfort him.  He looked over at Ron and Hermione through his grease smeared glasses, and saw from their expressions that they'd obviously been the thinking the same thing as he had.  He shot them a conspiratorial half grin, and they smiled back, obviously relieved that his annoyance hadn't lasted.

'I really think we should be going,' Hermione said looking at her watch and standing up immediately. 'We'll be late for class if we aren't careful.'

Ron stood too and picking up his bag made his way to the door, opening it and allowing Hermione to precede him from the hut.  'Cheers for the tea Hagrid,' he called, moving swiftly to catch up with Hermione who had already given Hagrid her thanks and assured him again how very glad they all were to have him back.

Gathering his own belongings together, Harry trailed after the other two slightly slower, stopping just outside the doorway with Hagrid to watch Ron and Hermione, who were now several feet away from the hut, playfully trying to trip each other up.  Ron's greater height and strength would have sent Hermione tumbling to the ground more than once, if he hadn't immediately reached out to steady her carefully against him.  Harry shook his head, amazed anew by their ability to put their arguments so quickly behind them.  Since their return to Hogwarts this year, the atmosphere around Ron and Hermione had been growing steadily tenser by the day, a fact that had been noticed by the majority of their classmates and only Ron and Hermione seemed oblivious to.  Arguments flared up out of nowhere and without warning, and disappeared just as quickly.  The Gryffindor Common Room was fast becoming a dangerous place to relax.   

A playful shout dragged Harry's attention back towards the laughing pair and he grimaced slightly at the picture they made.  The idea of his two best friends being together was a strange one, not exactly surprising of course, but still… odd.  Sometimes it didn't seem like five minutes had passed since they were all nervous eleven year olds, meeting up for the first time on the Hogwarts Express, and now here they were, five years later and two thirds of the trio about to turn into a couple.  Not that he was jealous about the change to their relationship – he'd never thought of Hermione in that way.  Spending time with her had certainly never caused the uncomfortable "flip-flop" sensation in his stomach that just the thought of being around Cho did. And while he'd never really forgotten that Hermione was a girl, as Ron often had prior to the Yule ball last year, to Harry, first and foremost she was his friend.  The idea of kissing Hermione was almost as ridiculous as the idea of him suddenly being overcome by the urge to kiss Ron.  He grimaced again.  Well, maybe not as ridiculous as that.

'Feelin' a bit left out are yeh Harry?' Hagrid commiserated noticing his frown. 'Don' worry, it'll happen fer you too, and when it does, yeh'll be grateful they got a head start when yeh don't have ter go searchin' out spells fer covering up lovebites and the like.  When the time comes, I reckon Ron'll be more than glad ter tell yeh what yeh need ter know.  If not though,' he said his face scrunching into a contemplative frown, 'I think "Awkward Ailments and How to Hide Them" is prob'ly the best place ter look; can't recall which chapter now.  D'yeh know it?'

'No!' Harry said quickly, very uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking, especially when he couldn't help but wonder if Hagrid himself had had need of the book since meeting Madame Maxime last year.  'I mean, I don't you know… need anything like that yet.'  Damn, now he just sounded pathetic.  'Well… that is…  if I wanted I could –'

'Course yeh could!'  Hagrid said reassuringly, obviously taking pity on his stumbling explanation.  'Yeh'll have no problems on that score, I'm sure.  Bet yeh've even got some lucky young witch in mind eh?' he asked with an encouraging waggle of his eyebrows. 

An image of Cho appeared crystal clear in his head, and Harry felt a prickle of heat start at the base of his neck and work its way up and around to his face.  He decided there and then that he really didn't want to be having this conversation with Hagrid right now.  'I… no, well maybe.  No,' he finally managed to stammer, shaking his head forcefully.

Hagrid nodded solemnly, his twinkling black eyes giving Harry the sneaking suspicion that the other man was having tremendous fun teasing him about this.  Reining in his embarrassment, Harry managed a small, rueful smile in response and with a self-mocking roll of his eyes, raised his hand in farewell, turning to jog across the grass towards the others. 

'Harry!' Hagrid called just as he reached Ron and Hermione's side.  'I remember now - it's chapter eighteen yeh'll want – "Who's a Naughty Boy Then!" he bellowed.  Swinging horrified round to face him, Harry caught sight of a huge grin on the groundskeepers bristly features just before he turned and entered his hut, leaving a red faced Harry to provide an explanation to his intensely curious friends.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A/N   Hagrid's vole-au-vent's – although I can't remember anything specific – sound to me like they come from a Monty Python sketch.  I do vaguely recall something about ratatouille (a large bowl with rat's tails hanging over the edge), but vole-au-vent's seem such a very obvious disgusting food, I'm guessing the idea came from someone if not them.  All of the magical creatures mentioned are from Fantastic Beasts, apart from the Bewilderbeast, which came from Badly Drawn Boy. :)

I really, really want to thank you all for your reviews and emails and to say that I'm incredibly sorry it's been so long between updates.  I've had a lot going on lately and I just haven't been able to write.  I'll do my very best from now on though to keep the rest of the story coming at regular intervals.  Also apologies if this chapter seems shorter than normal, but the second, (less pleasant) Snape/Lois half of it wasn't quite ready, but frankly if I didn't post something soon, I was worried I might never get round to it.  It shouldn't be long before it's up though. :)