Prelude to Insanity.
By BloodyChaosDragonKnight (...meow.)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my muses, and my oc's
Author's notes: It's supposed to be something like a prequel to CII. Dedicated to Yakuza Princess for being my 100th reviewer on CII. Hope you like it!
Warnings: Too lazy to type out again
Reno's eye twitches as he stares at the clock, his gaze moving back to the stack of papers in his hand. He sighs, hand going for the lighter in his back pocket to light the cigarette dangling from his lips. A glare from Tseng prevents him from setting the paper ablaze too. Rude snorts, rubbing his bald head as he signs a mission report.
"Have you ever noticed how quiet it gets before the day ends?" Reno asks, tipping his chair back as he considers the paper he's supposed to be signing. There seems to be more and more paperwork on his desk everyday, it's almost like someone wants him to set his desk on fire...Which may actually be true considering it would make the day a lot more interesting.
"No Reno, we've never had the chance..." Tseng says scowling at the paper which more than likely came from Heidigger...who was admittably not the brightest of the shinra execs. Once Reno had 'forgotten' his pants and the man just complimented him on his use of technology...They were still trying to figure that one out.
"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" Reno asks taking advantage of Tseng's temporary distraction to whip out his lighter and set the stupid report ablaze. Tseng looks up at the smell of smoke, eyes automatically narrowing.
"RENO! PUT THAT OUT!" Tseng yells grabbing the much used fire extinguisher and spraying the paper...and Reno down. Green eyes blink in confusion, staring up at Tseng innocently. Tseng's eye twitches violently, Rude coughs lightly pointing to the door.
"Well I see some things don't change." Reeve says walking in with a huge stack of paperwork in one hand, coffee making supplies in the other. Rude grins, grabbing the coffee maker and starting the process of making coffee. Tseng's eye twitches again as Reno shakes the foam off and grins at Reeve who smiles back.
"So who you stalking now?" Reno asks wiping the foam off of his face and tossing the paper in the trash. Tseng glares at him but doesn't argue. The paper couldn't be saved anyways. Reeve just smirks mysteriously as he starts to sort through the huge stack of papers.
"These are the new applicants for the Turks." Reeve says placing a stack of about fifty papers on Tseng's desk. Reno made a face, waving his lighter around like a cross to protect him from paperwork. Rude stares at him like he's lost his mind.
The leader of the Turks sighs, praying that there was at least one person who could deal with the pressure of dealing with Reno...and himself on a daily basis without losing what little sanity they had like the last one did. It wasn't pretty, it took days to clean out the chocobo feathers from his hair. And it was all Reno's fault. Tseng told him not to set people's pants on fire...and three guesses as to exactly what he did.
"Who's the rest of the papers for?" Rude asks peering curiously at the huge stack in Reeve's arms. Reeve flushes and shifts it to the other arm, the top paper falling off into the floor. All three Turks stare at it.
"Man, why are you carrying around photocopies of Hojo's car with chocobo tracks on it?" Reno stares at the paper with amusement in his eyes. Reeve sighs, rolling his eyes skyward.
"Hojo wants me to hand these out...apparentally someone's trying to scare him to death and the rest of the excecs are worried...Rufus wants to pin a medal on whoever did it." Reeve says shrugging in confusion. Tseng blinks and wonders if they're going to have look into this little chocobo incident. Reno starts messing with his lighter which Tseng confiscates as soon as it comes near Reeve's stack of papers.
"Do they know anything about who did it?" Tseng asks rubbing his forehead with one hand and grabbing Reno's back up lighter with the other. Rude looks at the door and wonders if he could sneak out before on of the other execs came in and started talking to Tseng, he had a sneaking feeling that he was not going to like this.
"I heard from Rufus that it was a cult called the bloody snakes or something like that..." Reeve says, Reno's eyes grow bright at that. Tseng starts to go through a mental list of all the cults he knows...nothing matches, but then again he didn't know all the weird cults in Midgar.
"Was it the Bloody Serpents?" Reno asks practically bouncing in his chair with excitement for some odd reason. Tseng stares at him with a strange look in his eyes. Reeve nods, wondering exactly how Reno knew this cult. And Rude, well he gets really pale and falls out of his chair.
"Uh Rude, are you ok?" Reno asks getting out of his chair and staring down at the twitching bald man. Tseng and Reeeve sweatdrop and look at each other. Rude squeaks...
"It seems that everytime I walk in here something's either on fire or someone's lying on the floor twitching. Though usually it's Reno." Rufus says walking into the office and staring at Rude. Rufus scratches his chin thoughtfully as he watches the man twitch.
"So what brings you to our little corner of insanity?"Reno asks finally succeeding in setting Reeve's stack of papers ablaze. Reeve shrieks and drops the flaming stack of papers on the floor of the office which is thankfully flame-proof. Tseng's eye twitches as he regards Reno, Rufus just laughs.
"I'd like you guys to go with Scarlet to meet with the heads of the Bloody Serpents." Rude screams again twitching violently, Rufus looks down at him and continues on talking. "Just Reno and Rude though...they might uh...molest Tseng. And if they attack Scarlet, just stand back and watch the show...I don't want you guys put out of action just cause Scarlet wants to mess with a group of violent psychopaths."
Everyone in the office blinks, except for Rude who twitches dangerously close to the pile of burning paper, Tseng's eye twitches again and he looks at Reno who's laughing maniacally now. Rufus rubs his forehead as Reeve finally finds the fire extinguisher and put out the fire.
"So why does Scarlet want to meet with these psychopaths?"Reno asks, frowning as the pretty flames are doused. The red head sighs bringing out his twenty-seventh lighter and bringing it dangerously close to his paper filled desk. Rufus watches him with glowing green eyes wondering why Tseng wasn't confiscating the lighter.
"She wants information from them...She has a feeling they know something we don't. Though why she doesn't go ask one of the members in Shinra I don't know." Rufus says crossing his arms and leaning up against Rude's desk. Tseng blinks in confusion. "About half the people in Shinra belong to this cult. It's a wonder we haven't heard of it before...I think that there's something Scarlet isn't telling me."
Tseng frowns picking up the top paper of the new recruits and staring at it. Reno sets his desk of fire while Tseng was distracted again. Reeve flushes and raise the fire extinguisher only to find that it's now empty, leaving Reno's desk to burn. Tseng sighs and rubs his forehead, Rufus just watches with amusement.
"I think we should hire this young lady...So help me god Reno if you set this on fire I am going to kill you." Tseng growls as Reno brings his lighter closer to the page. The red head blinks and backs off. Tseng turns back to Rufus. "As I was saying. She describes herself as belonging to the cult...Perhaps we can learn more from her."
"Perhaps..."
And so Scarlet got her ass kicked by two priestesses and was shoved in a trashcan, Rude was chased up a flagpole by a man who threw a sparkly purple fuzzy snake at him after revealing he was deathly afraid of snakes to Reno, Tseng contacted the young lady who applied for the Turks position and was scared out of his mind, but still decided to hire her, Rufus went back to his office to plot and Reno, well he was Reno. He laughed his ass off at everyone else and set someones's pants on fire.
The End...Until CII starts.
Special thanks for my CII readers and reviewers for cotinuing to inspire me to write more insanity.
BloodyChaos: "Well...It's not as good as I would've liked but...well there's not much I could've done cause I didn't really want to go into Rhiana and Juno's meeting with Scarlet because we all know what happened...Well my CII readers do anyways."
Zach: "Must you plague me with your insanity?"
BloodyChaos: "I will hang you in the closet again, so shut it. Anyways please review and tell me what you think. and if you want to read more, go read CII this is just the prequel. I felt I needed some more inspiration...I'll get the next chapter of CII up soon hopefully..."