EDIT 2016

See below for any warnings and disclaimers.

Pain In The Ass

Chapter 6
In Which Tsunade Starts to Get the Move On, Everybody Falls to the Power of ….Nosebleeds and Ibiki Succumbs

"STOP!" Tsunade waved them back. "I have to heal the cut first!"

Placing a hand over the flesh wound, she blushed red and tried to focus her chakra into her hand. Her face went red as she (legitimately) groped up the white-haired hottie.

Kakashi gasped. "That hurts…!"

Tsunade focused some more, and started to really heal the Jounin. After all, if Kakashi died of tetanus or something, Konoha would be losing a great warrior – screw it, she admitted – Konoha would be losing a sex god. Kakashi sighed with relief as the wound slowly began to close.

Everybody who had been unconscious woke up just in time to hear Kakashi's husky voice say with a soft groan, "Ahhhh… that feels sooooo good!"

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!

Immediately everybody fainted again.

Ibiki, carrying an important message from Sand for the Hokage, appeared in a cloud and nearly fainted (but of course he would never fully succumb to a massive… nosebleed, since he was an elite Jounin, known for being impervious to all sorts of.. pressures). All he could see was Tsunade leaning over Kakashi, her hands fully groping up the Jounin's bared bottom. Visions of Kakashi. Visions of Tsunade. Visions of Kakashi AND Tsunade floated through the interrogator's head.

"Hokage-sama! Is everything all right?"
"Does it look alright!" snapped Kakashi, as Tsunade paused for a moment in her healing to look over the scroll.
"Don't worry, Kakashi," Ibiki whispered, "Your secret will always be safe with me."
"What secret?" asked Kakashi, growling. "EVERYBODY knows what happened!"

Ibiki paused.

"You're right… Well…" His gaze drifted down the torso of the Jounin.

All of his life, watching Kakashi work as ANBU and as Jounin, he had known Kakashi to be a well-built shinobi... but this…

"What're you staring at?" asked Kakashi, a dangerous gleam in his eye.

Ibiki coughed and shut his eyes – but it didn't work.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Jiraiya, noticing another nosebleed coming on.
"Handcuffs…" murmured Ibiki, cryptically.

THUMP!

He too collapsed.

Please review~!

Warnings: Extreme silliness, OC Canon Charas
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story does not reflect Kubo Tite or any of the original producers.