Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the original version of "12 Days of Christmas"

Roy's Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

A gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the second day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the third day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the fourth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the fifth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the sixth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the seventh day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the eighth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

8 "Do your paper work or else...sir."

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the ninth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

9 'right hooks' to my cheek

8 "Do your paper work or else...sir."

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the tenth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

10 paper cuts

9 'right hooks' to my cheek

8 "Do your paper work or else...sir."

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

11 deadly glares

10 paper cuts

9 'right hooks' to my cheek

8 "Do your paper work or else...sir."

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a gun barrel aimed at my head

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

My Lieutenant gave to me...

12 stacks of paperwork

11 deadly glares

10 paper cuts

9 'right hooks' to my cheek

8 "Do your paper work or else...sir."

7 threats on my life

6 sighs of disapproval

5 wonderful mini skirt dreams!

4 staplers thrown at me

3 dogs bites

2 eyes a rolling

And a bullet just missing my head!

Roy: "Come on Lt. Hawkeye, can't you just give me a break? It's Christmas."

Riza: BANG!

A/N - I know, it's only July, but I couldn't resist. What you think? Good? Please R&R. Constructive criticism allowed. No flames (Roy is the only person who reserves that right.)

Please look in my profile oo0AnimeChild0oo for all my other stories. I have finished stories, in progress stories and some stories that are forever on going with no end. I also often make request in my profile for help finding information. So please, check out my profile. And again, thanks for reading.