Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro, Golden Oreos, Sylvan, or Cool Tools.

Here's a request from kitty-gurl1, 'Golden Oreos'!

Golden Oreos commercial.

Cappy is seen eating 'Golden Oreos', and Hamtaro comes to sit down beside him.

Hamtaro: Watcha eatin'?

Cappy: Golden Oreos.

Hamtaro: I remember back in my day when they used to be black!

Cappy: Isn't this your day? You've only been around for 1 year longer than me!

Hamtaro: Yeah...so I'm older than you! Now as I was saying-

Cappy: (sighs) Just have an Oreo.

Hamtaro: -that oreos used to be black back when I was a kid-

Cappy: But you are a kid!

Hamtaro: -and I'd twist the top off, and duck 'em in milk! Boy the fun I had when I was young!

Cappy: This is stupid!

Cappy gets up and leaves.

Hamtaro: Hey! Come back, youngster! I wasn't done my story about black Oreos! Respect your elders!

Cappy: (from a-distance) You're almost as young as me, dummy!

Hamtaro: Fine! Be that way, you poopy-head! (Sticks tounge out) How immature! Golden Oreos...sheesh! (looks at box, and takes one) Ah, what the heck!

And because I hate Sylvan so much, I'm gonna do another 'Sylvan Sucks' commercial, and a complete one this time!

Stan, inside a house, puts his report card on his skateboard and rolls it towards his mom (Pashmina) in the kitchen.

Pashmina: Stan! What did I say about skateboarding in the house?

Pashmina 'unfortunately' steps backwards, and steps on the skateboard, sending herself flying in the air and crashing back onto the ground.

Pashmina: Oooow! STAN!! What did I just tell you! How could you let this happen-Wait! (sees report card lying on the ground behind her) Ahh...report card...

Pashmina looks at the report card as Stan hides behind a corner, waiting in suspense.

The cheesy annoying Sylvan music begins to play…

Pashmina sighs as she smiles a bit.

Pashmina: Well, at least ONE thing went right today.

This moment was brought to you by the Sylvan Learning Centre.

Stan: School was like, so hard man! But Sylvan totally changed that!

Sylvan is a proven process that works for those who struggle in school.

Pashmina is standing in a body cast from the skateboard fall.

Pashmina: My son struggled in school, and what a difference Sylvan made! I probably wouldn't be in this damn body cast! If he got a bad report card, he would've just hidden it and never attempt to show it to me by the means of rolling a skateboard through the kitchen! But at least this got him good marks, but honestly, that skateboard-

Pashmina is cut off by the advertising voice.

We have highly-trained professionals who love to teach! So if your child is challenged or just not challenged enough, Sylvan can help.

Stan: School's a lot easier now! Mom, however, is still totally mad at me.

Sylvan. The confidence to do better in school. The confidence to do better in life.

Wh00t! Sylvan sucks! And now for a rather old commercial that some might not remember or haven't seen.

Cool Tools commercial.

Boss is seen working on a truck while Cappy and Panda are playing. They then approach the truck where some tools are laying.

Panda: Cool! Look at all these tools!

Cappy: Let's play with them!

Boss: Oh-no, kids! Those are grown-up tools. But you can play with these!

Boss hands them a box of 'Cool Tools' toys.

(Note: Cool Tools are basically plastic tools used for play.)

Panda & Cappy: Wooow! Cool!

Background music is heard with men are singing the 'cool tools!' song, with a bunch of words that can't be made out.

Panda takes the toy hammer and begins to bang on his toy kitchen.

Panda: Cool!

Cappy takes the toy screw driver and tries to drive it into his toy car.

Cappy: Cool!

Singing men: Cool Tools!

Cappy: Hey! Now that we got our own toys, we can help daddy with fixing the truck!

Panda: Good idea! Let's go!

Singing men: Cool tools!

Cappy puts his toy screwdriver on the truck's wheel.

Panda puts his hammer against the screwdriver, and begins whacking it, driving the screwdriver into the truck's wheel.

Panda: Yay!

Cappy: Now daddy will be happy with us!

Singing men: Cool Cool Cool! Cool Tools!

Boss comes around, whistling merrily, and sees Panda and Cappy stabbing and hammering the 'cool tools' into the truck wheel.

Boss: What the-no! Stop, kids!

A 'pshhhhh' sound is heard, and the truck collapses onto Cappy as Panda runs out of the way.

Singing men: Cools Tools!

Cappy: (from under the truck) Aaaaahhh! Help me! The truck ate me!

Boss: No! How could I let this happen? I'm such a bad father!

Boss breaks down sobbing.

Cappy: Heeeelllllp!

Panda: ...Can I get eaten by a truck too?

Boss: NO!

Singing men: Cool Too-

Boss: SHUT UP!

Singing men: Our bad...

Cool Tools! Buy them today!

Singing men: Cool Tools!

Please review, and feel free to submit requests! I'll try my best to get to them.