Title: Jagged Pieces
Summary: It's been a blissful whirlwind of love the past six months for Kira and Rei, but perfection doesn't last forever. From the smooth, asphalt-paved path, one can see the twisted and broken path that it is about to become. Connections are formed, ties are severed, declarations are made, backs are stabbed, and it becomes a struggle for everyone to pick up the jagged pieces.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Fuyumi Souryo and various publishers including but not limited to Tokyopop. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: It's my first time writing fanfiction of any kind, so any comments/suggestions would be appreciated. This hasn't been beta-ed by anyone and if anyone would like to beta for me (for the upcoming chapters), I'd really appreciate it.Just leave your emailin the reviews (is this allowed? sorry, I'm new here and I'm not sure how I can contact other people) andI'll get back to you as soon as I can. Hopefully I'll be able to update with a new chapter every few weeks or so.
6 months later.
Rei has become a prominent member of the Honda Racing Association, and as for Kira, she has become a free-lance painter, taking commissions on the side while she is currently enrolled in art school as a part-time student. Rei and Kira have been gaining a lot of world-wide recognition; Rei for being a spectacular motorcyclist and Kira for her ability to capture the essence and soul of a person on canvas.
After the old apartment building where Rei used to live alone was demolished, he and Kira bought the land and built a modest home on the plot using up a portion of the money Kira and Rei earned from her commissions and his racing career, respectively, and a generous loan from Rei's dad. Alongside their newfound home is a generous backyard, 2 garages for Rei's prized motorcycles and an extensive studio for Kira.
Kira stepped out of PSA, Prestigious School of Arts with her black portfolio in hand. She breathed in the fresh air and tingled while the warm sunshine bathed her fingers, spreading throughout her limbs. From the distance, she could hear faint hoots of laughter, scattered applause and the increasing sound of an approaching motorcycle. Kira patiently waited and peered down the street, expecting Rei to swerve around the corner and blaze down the street with a brand new HRA test motorcycle.
Sure enough, it was Rei swerving around the corner 2 minutes later. He accelerated and popped a wheelie before catching sight of Kira, standing in front of PSA with a furrowed brow upon her face. Rei abruptly braked and skidded in front of PSA when he caught sight of Kira waiting.
Rei sheepishly nudged the bike stand in place and got off the bike. He pulled off his helmet and ran his fingers through his ruffled hair and stared even more sheepishly at the ground while a hesitant smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Kira! I didn't know you were going to be out early today! You should've told me earlier, I would've come earlier and we could've… done lunch or something." Rei said as he fiddled with Kira's pink hair tie that was strapped around his wrist. Rei often stole Kira's hair ties to tie back his own hair, and as a convenience he always had one strapped around his right wrist.
Kira glared at Rei for a second before raising her hand to her mouth and laughing softly at him. Rei smiled at Kira and lightly looped his arms around Kira's waist, casually pulling Kira closer to him for a kiss. Kira laughed again, casually tossing her hair back as she gently dropped her portfolio and looped her own arms around Rei's neck.
"Miss me?" Rei asked, innocently, "I know you do, I can see it. You're dying for me. You're dying to be with me. You're dying to be me! Who wouldn't after all? I'm gorgeous and talented. Oh and also, you can't forget the beautiful wife I have under my possession. Just look at this hair! This body! If it weren't for you, I'd probably fall in love with myself." Rei smirked at Kira as he pulled her in closer for a quick embrace.
"Don't be so full of yourself Kashino!" Kira playfully retorted as she jabbed a finger at his chest. She extricated herself from the tangle of arms and pulled away. A shadow of inexplicable sadness passed across Kira's face. Kira sighed a barely audible sigh and mournfully sat on the seat of Rei's new test motorcycle. She laced her hands together, bowed her head and stared intently at them.
"Kira, what's wrong?" Rei gently asked her as he maneuvered to tilt up Kira's head and look her in the eye.
"I, I don't know. I guess I'm just not feeling so great. I asked to be excused from class earlier today because I kept having this jittery feeling in my abdomen. I couldn't even stomach that corn beef sandwich I packed for lunch today, and you know how I love corn beef." Kira sighed and looked up at Rei with mournful eyes.
"I don't know what's wrong with me . . ."
Rei looked at her with genuine concern, pulled one of her hands away from the other and laced his own hand around hers. "Kira, what did the doctor say at the appointment last Friday?"
"He hasn't phoned back with any news yet, so I'm not sure what's wrong with me." Kira painfully looked at Rei with glistening, misty eyes. Rei slowly turned away from her, unable to bear looking at her pained face without the possibility of also breaking down.
"What if – what if I'm dying? We already know that there's no possibility of me bearing a child. And my family has a history of genetic hereditary diseases. My mother is in the hospital, dying of ovarian cancer, what am I going to do without her if she dies? What if I die?" Kira choked out in a whisper.
"I'm scared Rei." Rei pulled her up from the motorcycle and she fell into his arms. He pulled her close, cupped his hand against the back of her head and softly stroked her hair while murmuring nonsensical soothing words in her ear.
"It'll be alright Kira, I'll always be with you and you're stronger than anyone, you're my love, my support, I need you."
"Oh baby! I need you so much! You're my love! Myyy looooovvveee!" Rei was singing in a horrendous off-key tune during his after-work shower when the phone rang.
"I'm craaazzyyy, crazy, crazy, crazy, dying in your arrrmmmss! I need youuuu!" Rei joyfully sang out loud as he picked up the bottle of shampoo, preparing to squeeze out a dollop onto the palm of his calloused hand. As Rei trailed off, he realized the phone was ringing.
"Can't a man take a shower in peace? Damn telemarketers." Rei grumbled and frowned, shut his eyes and proceeded to start lathering his hair when he realized that it might be Kira calling.
The phone continued with a determined ringing.
"I should get that." He muttered to himself.
Rei's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes flooded with concern and skepticism. He desolately sighed and turned off the water. Rei grabbed his fluffy towel off the towel rack and gingerly wrapped it around his waist as he left the bathroom. He strode down the hall towards the ringing phone, leaving a trail of water puddles behind him.
Rei halted in front of the phone and hesitated a moment before picking it up. "Hello?"
"Is this the residence of Kira Kashino?" The cool female voice that responded sounded distant.
"Yes, this is the Kashino residence. If you're selling anything, it's a no. If you're asking me to model for you, it's also a no. If you're calling to beg Kira to paint you, it's a definite no. If you're inquiring as to WHY I'M STANDING IN THE HALL, STARK NAKED WITH NOTHING BUT A TOWEL AND DRIPPING WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR, then I'll be happy to explain why." Rei huffed out, annoyed. Kira would kill him later if he didn't clean up the puddles.
"Err, I'm sorry – this is Mr. Kashino, right?"
"Right"
"Very sorry to bother you Mr. Kashino, this is Natsuko Akabashi calling from the Oka Hospital. I called to inform Kira Kashino that her test results are in. Doctor Sachio Shita requested that I set up an appointment to review Kira's test results."
"What? Appointment? Is this something confidential? I'm her husband; I deserve to know these things!" Rei fumed, he clutched the phone and gripped it tightly with both hands.
"Oh no, no, Mr. Kashino, if Kira wishes for you to attend the appointment as well, then that is perfectly fine. An appointment needs to be made because the test results are complicated and Dr. Shita would like to review the results in person with Kira."
Rei's hand went numb as he faltered, unable to say anything in response to Natsuko's quiet, far away voice.
"If it is okay with Mrs. Kashino, Dr. Shita will be available this Tuesday to review the results. The appointment will take no longer than an hour, and his preferred time is 5:30 in the afternoon. Is that okay with you, Mr. Kashino?" Natsuko's far away voice droned on as Rei closed his eyes, slowly lowered his head and lifted one of his hands to his forehead, partially covering his face.
"Yes, that's fine. I'll be sure to tell Kira." Rei said in a hollow voice.
"Okay, then it is settled for Tuesday, and don't worry Mr. Kashino, things will be just fine."
Rei nodded, forgetting that he was on the phone. He heard a faint clicking noise as the connection was cut. Rei gently pulled the phone away from his ear and settled it upon the receiver, staring blankly at the phone.
Natsuko Akabashi knew nothing. She didn't know Kira, know her history. Natsuko was nothing more than a secretary. She wouldn't understand how things would not be fine if something happened to Kira. As strong as Kira looked and acted, Kira was just as fragile as he was, and he knew it even if Kira didn't. Without Kira, he would not know what do without her, and if something happened to him, Kira would never be the same again. Together, they fit together, like a hand-made puzzle, where the pieces don't always fit perfectly because of sloppy cutting or tears, but you knew which pieces were meant to fit together anyway.
Rei slumped against the wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor, still in his towel. Kira was sick; he knew it even before she showed any symptoms of it. He could feel her strength wavering. There would be moments when he would pause, stop whatever he would be doing and look at her, while she would be cooking, while she would be painting, while she turned and smiled at him when she would catch him looking at her, and in Rei's eyes, he would see his wife – a thin, fragile figure – and the shadow of fragility and weakness looming over her, shadowing her once clear eyes.
Kira struggled with a wafting paper bag of food in one hand and her keys and her black portfolio art case in the other as she approached her and Rei's home. She had her bag of art materials slung over and sliding off one shoulder, precariously in danger of falling to the ground. Kira frowned and concentrated as she aimlessly tried to thrust the key into the keyhole to unlock the door without dropping their dinner. The door abruptly opened and Kira glanced up in surprise at Rei. She stood in the threshold absorbing and soaking in his disheveled appearance. Rei was sporting a casual white t-shirt with the logo of the HRA stamped across his broad chest and a pair of worn jeans hung loosely and comfortably off his waist. His hair was slightly ruffled, but it gave him a cute scruffy just-woke-up look. Kira smiled inwardly at herself as Rei lifted his right hand and casually pushed a strand of his hair out of the way. She could see the pink hair tie, ever intact around his wrist.
Rei shot Kira a puzzled look as she stood there in the doorway, not moving to walk past him and not greeting him either. Adopting a slightly playful smirk, Rei leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Planning on standing there all night, just staring at me and pondering the question as to why you have such a sexy husband? Or are you planning on seducing me somehow?" Rei teased. He smiled at Kira, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. Kira furrowed her brows and looked into his eyes. She sensed that there was something wrong, and hesitated for a second before smiling sweetly back at Rei while brushing past him to go inside.
Kira walked into the kitchen, calling over her shoulder, "I figured that we would have a fun and relaxed dinner without the hassle of doing the dishes tonight. So I picked up something ready-made for us." She heard Rei quietly close the door behind her and soundlessly follow her to the kitchen. Kira tossed her keys on the counter, gingerly deposited the bag of food on the table and gracefully dropped her art materials and portfolio on the ground. Rei was leaning against the counter, staring at Kira when she turned and glanced at him, noticing that he was definitely upset about something.
Kira frowned again and stepped up to Rei. She leaned towards him and fluttered a soft kiss on his cheek. She stood back, tilted her head and surveyed him. Rei was also surveying her, to her surprise, and she couldn't decipher the emotion that filled his eyes. Kira reached out and lightly touched his arm.
"Hey," she said softly, "are you okay? Tough day at work? What's wrong?"
Rei dropped his head and mumbled something about being tired. Without any more audible words, Rei strode up to the kitchen table and unfolded the top of the paper bag. Kira stared blankly at Rei as he set their dinner on the table. Kira had picked up some bento boxes and miso soup before coming home, acknowledging Rei's passion for Japanese food. Rei pulled out the wooden chopsticks packed along with the food, out of the bag, and briefly glanced at Kira before slumping into his chair.
Kira didn't understand what was wrong. She didn't know what she did wrong but she knew that Rei was upset with her. Kira let out a heavy sigh, pulled out her chair, sat down, and folded her hands on top of each other on the table. As she did, Rei appeared to snap out of his reverie and pushed one of the bento boxes towards Kira. He slid a pair of chopsticks across the table toward her and lightly placed his hand on top of hers.
"Kira . . ." Rei began, trying to catch her eye, "I got a call today." Kira lifted her chin up and met his eyes with hers. She shifted her hands away from Rei's touch. He was cold, his fingers were chilling her own and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable sitting at her own dinner table, with her own husband, eating her own bento box, in their own home. She closed her eyes and brought a hand up to her forehead.
I feel so old, and weary. I'm tired, tired of this. Kira's eyes flew open and she felt a wave of hysteria wash over herself.
"Kira?" Rei had pulled back his hand and was gripping his chopsticks in them. He was frowning at her and he looked angry at her. Kira fumed, she wanted to shout at Rei, lash out at him and tell him to forgive her, but the moment of hysteria passed and she realized that he was concerned, not angry. Kira shut her eyes again and drew a rattled, shaky breath. She forced herself to smile and looked up at Rei again.
He loves me, I love him, we love each other, we're happy –
"The results from your tests taken at the clinic are in, Kira," Rei cautiously announced. He had reached out to lightly touch her hand again, but Kira involuntarily shuddered, withdrew her hands and resolutely rested them on her lap.
"We're going to meet Dr. Shita on this Tuesday at about 5:30. Are you okay with that?" Rei asked in a tentative, soft voice.
Kira looked away and stared out the window for a moment. She could see the sun setting, casting its last rays over the horizon, touching the tops of the buildings and the clouds. Losing herself in the moment, Kira looked at Rei and smiled shyly, lovingly, at him before dipping her head in a slight nod. Kira reached for her chopsticks and slid them out of the paper casing. Briefly closing her eyes, she grasped the ends of the chopsticks in her hand, silently whispered a wish and quickly snapped the connected chopsticks into two separate pieces with succession. It was silly, really; making wishes on wooden chopsticks, but Kira knew that sometimes hoping and wishing was all a person could hold on to.
The sun lowered past the horizon and they ate in increasing darkness and silence as the clock mounted on the kitchen wall ticked on.