Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or the characters. I don't own Raven Symone or That's So Raven. I do not own Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff. I don't own the Disney Channel…. I think I covered everything so far….

Author's Notes: OK…. I had to sit with my little sister, Marissa, in the hospital overnight. She'd been in there for a few days already…. Kidney stones… they blasted them and put another stint in and then took it out… lotsa pain….etc. Anyways, I had to sit with her overnight last night and all she wanted to watch was That's So Raven. So… I had to write another chapter or I would have gone insane with murderous thoughts racing around my head. And to make things worse… now Marissa, Brianna (my other sister), and I all have to have these stupid tests to see why we keep getting kidney stones and such young ages…. Oh well… at least my mom offered to pay for this since I have no health insurance.

Anyways… onto the story!

Raven Symone Must Die

Chapter 2

Jack awoke the next morning and this time he looked at his VCR… which was indeed set to record. He sighed and got ready to go to work at the base… hoping that today would be a better day than the one before and wondering how Hammond had ever dealt with everybody and everything that happened while he was there.

When Jack arrived at the base, he found that his hopes for a better day had been in vain. Before he even reached his office, he was confronted by Teal'c, who was concerned for Daniel's mental health.

"Daniel Jackson is acting in an extremely paranoid manner. He has held disdain for this Raven Symone ever since he started watching the Disney Channel, but I believe it has become an unhealthy obsession."

"Thanks, T… I've become aware of the situation. I'll… figure something out." Jack said. He nodded at Teal'c and excused himself to continue on his way… but he paused when he heard a familiar song coming from Daniel's room.

"… I try to save a situation, then I end up misbehaving… oh oh oh… (that's so Raven) It's the future I can see… (that's so Raven) It's so mysterious to me…"

Jack changed directions and ended up in Daniel's office, looking at a man who was at the end of his wits.

Daniel looked as if he hadn't slept all night and he had stubble on his ace as if he hadn't bothered to shave either. When Daniel looked over at him, Jack could see Daniel's eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles underneath.

"Daniel! Dangit, don't you have more important things to do?" Jack crossed his arms.

"What could be more important than exposing Raven Symone?" Daniel asked.

"Uh… work? Your job?"

"Finished… I'm weeks ahead in my base work and have nothing else to do anyway. Besides… I think I made a new discovery…. A breakthrough." Daniel sounded excited so Jack just had to hear what Daniel thought he had discovered.

"Ok… what is this breakthrough?"

"Well, I was watching That's So Raven back to back and in between shows there was a music video by Lindsay Lohan and I-"

"Wait, wait…" Jack interrupted, "Lindsay Lohan sings? I thought she just acted." Jack sounded confused.

"No… that's just how they all start out. Raven Symone, Hilary Duff, and Lindsay Lohan. They acted for Disney and then became singers even thought they don't have that much musical talent to begin with. Well, I think that Raven, Hilary, and Lindsay are the trifecta from Hell and have come to Earth to bring the Apocalypse." Daniel explained.

Jack stood slack jawed for a minute before regaining his wits.

"Daniel, have you been feeling okay lately?"

"Never better, Jack. I feel so clear… like I've never been so clear headed before in my life."

"And when did the… clear headed-ness start?"

"What? God, Jack… don't you understand what I'm saying? These three girls will be the end of us all. Someone's got to stop them before it's to late!" Daniel was up and in Jack's face now. He was close to grabbing Jack's shirt to get his point across until Jack broke his concentration.

"I'm… going to go to my office now…. Don't come near me for the rest of the day." Jack slowly walked backwards out of Daniel's office, never taking his eyes off of Daniel's form, which had gone back to staring at the TV.

As soon as Jack reached his own office, he finally relaxed and sat down in his comfy chair.

"I really need to get that man an off-world assignment and soon."

End Chapter

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