M: Believe it or not, my sixth grade English teacher actually did this to her stepson.

Shadow0015: I loved her response too.

Guan: Glad you liked it.

Luthe: There are gonna be 18 chapters of this fic. I'm gonna get round to finishing IW. I updated it just recently, in fact.

Chapter Eleven

Nathyrra heaved a sigh and opened the door. She had taken on a job from the Seer on a last minute's notice and required that she awaken at four hours past midnight and travel for the next several hours. The mission had been a false alarm so Nathyrra was allowed to return home before schedule. It was now one hour past noon.

The drow walked down the hall, making no noise as she walked and stopping when she saw her husband. Ano was asleep on the couch, his wings spread out at odd angles and a large pile of magical scrolls spread out on his chest.

Nathyrra smiled and strode towards the sleeping man. She gently shook him. "Ano. Wake up."

Ano snapped his eyes open, his emerald green eyes wide as dinner plates. He abruptly sat up and screamed, "AAAAAAAHHHHHH! NO MORE AMERICAN WOMEN!"

"What are you talking about?" Nathyrra asked.

"I have no idea." Ano replied. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at his wife. "What time is it?"

"An hour past noon."

"You're home early then."

"And you're sleeping late. Why is that?"

"Oh." Ano gave her a sheepish grin. "I couldn't get back to sleep after you left so I decided to get started on those scrolls Imoen asked me to translate. Halieth's mother came to take AJ and Ana to school so I guess I must have lost track of time."

"I see."

Ano shifted into a more comfortable position on the couch before speaking again, "So why is it that you're home early, Nat?"

"It was a false alarm. There was no raiding party. I can only hope that we'll get lucky in two days when I go to the Underdark." Seeing his concerned look she added, "Ano, I have to return to the Underdark. It's part of my job. You knew this when you married me."

"I know. I just hate the idea of you getting hurt."

"I'm quite capable of taking care of myself, Anotalex." Nathyrra said flatly.

"So there's no chance that'll you'll settle down and become a stay-at-home mom?" Ano asked, his eyes dancing.

Nathyrra snorted. "Can you really see me as a homemaker?"

"Yes, yes I can. With a watering canteen and a cute little sundress-" He was cut off by Nathyrra hitting him in the face with a pillow. "The day I wear a sundress is the day Haer'Dalis stops calling you 'Son of My Raven'."

"Aww. Not even once? I'd pay to see you in one of those."

"It's not going to happen."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the wisp buzzing. Nathyrra answered it. "Hello?"

Ano listened as Nathyrra responded to the wisp in the other room. He could only hear one side of the conversation so it was a bit hard to follow.

"Uh-huh…I see…are you sure? Positive? Well, I know he can be…Tomorrow? Alright then…Bye." Nathyrra walked back into the family room. "Our son has been misbehaving."

"Again?" Ano groaned.

"His principal wishes to have a parent-teacher conference tomorrow."

"Alright then."

XXXXX

"Greetings, Mr. Derlyn, Mrs. Kant'tar." Principal Renniks said the next day to the two parents in front of his desk.

Nathyrra nodded. "You called us about our son…"

"Yes. Don't take this the wrong way, Anotalex Junior is a good boy, but sometimes he bends the rules a bit." Renniks said tactfully.

"How so?" Ano asked.

"Well, just yesterday, AJ caused an 'accident' that managed to flood half on the science hallway."

"He flooded the hallway?" Nathyrra asked.

"With tapioca. He claimed that he had mistaken it for one of the ingredients to his experiment."

"I see. I suppose you want me to pay you for the damages?" Ano asked, a bit wearily.

"That would be nice."

Ano pulled out a checkbook. "How much?"

"Seventy gold for cleaning the mess and five gold for the loss of another student's lunch."

Ano scribbled a number on the check and handed it to Renniks. Renniks accepted it. "As you know, this isn't the first time an incident such as this has happened. There was the food fight, the nervous breakdown of Ms. Blake last year, the skunk infestation…"

"We're quite aware of our son's 'antics'." Nathyrra said flatly.

"What do you propose we do?" Ano asked.

Renniks cleared his throat, "What I suggest may be a bit unorthodox but if both of you are willing to cooperate, then things should go smoothly."

"Tell us what to do." Ano commanded.

"You are both mages, correct?"

Ano and Nathyrra nodded.

"In that case, the first part will be rather simple. In order for you to truly see what your son is doing one of you must…"

XXXXX

Ana scowled as she walked towards her draconic class. She already knew the language due to her father and was often bored in the class. She strode into the room and took a seat next to her brother. Anathyrra noticed something different about the room, a bird—a crow to be specific—perched on Mrs. Parsonn's desk.

Mrs. Parsonn smiled. "I suppose you're all wondering about my friend here," she said, pointing to the crow.

The class nodded.

"I'm taking care of her for my sister. I couldn't leave her at home so I had no choice to but to bring her here with me."

"Does she have a name?" Halieth asked.

"Biscuit." Mrs. Parsonn replied.

"What idiot names their crow 'Biscuit'?" AJ whispered to Res.

Mrs. Parsonn began her lesson but Ana wasn't paying attention. Instead, she was far more interested in the crow. The elven-year-old reached out with her animal empathy. She was immediately confronted with several very powerful mental barriers that kept Ana from reading the crow's thoughts. Ana instantly knew that the crow was not a crow at all. She had also recognized the shields. There was only one explanation. What the hell is she doing here disguised as a bird!

At that moment, Mr. Renniks walked in along with a short man in a uniform. "Mrs. Parsonn, I'm sorry to interrupt our class, but we've hired a new janitor and he only speaks draconic."

Ana arched an eyebrow. A human that speaks only draconic? You don't see that everyday.

"I was wondering if one of your students could assist me in showing Joey his duties."

"Certainly. AJ, would you be so kind-"

"Sure." AJ said and stood up.

"Oh, and could you take Biscuit with you? She could use some exercise." Mrs. Parsonn added.

AJ shrugged. "Okay."

XXXXX

"Alright, we're here at the bathrooms." Renniks said a few minutes later. "Tell Joey that he needs to give them a good scrubbing everyday."

AJ turned towards Joey. :You must lick the privy seats everyday. That's the only way they'll get truly clean. And if you wash your mouth out afterwards, it will cause a curse, one of nine plagues.:

Joey's eyes widened. For a minute, AJ could have sworn that Biscuit's eyes did too.

"Duty number two is to restock the vending machines." Renniks stated.

:Restock the vending machines. Cocaine goes on the top, marijuana goes in the middle, and heroin on the bottom. Always separate your drugs.:

"Duty three is to make sure we have enough ketchup in the cafeteria."

:Check to make sure that we have enough ketchup. If we don't, you can murder on of the students and use their blood as a substitute.:

"No students are allowed in the teacher's lounge."

:No students are allowed in the teacher's lounge when a drug deal, murder, or orgy is taking place.:

"Always sweep the floor."

:Make sure none of the murder victims escape. If they do, feel free to use the sexual torture devices on them to make them more open to suggestion.:

"I think you'll be very happy here."

:If you fail to comply with my wishes then you will be locked in the basement with the flesh eating cockroaches and sex-deprived hook horrors.:

AJ and Renniks walked away. Joey followed. : This is a mad house.: He muttered under his breath.

XXXXX

As soon as the lunch bell rang and everyone had left, Ana walked over to Biscuit. "Okay, cut the crap."

The crow transformed into a drow woman. Ana raised an eyebrow. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

Nathyrra smiled. "I always knew you were cunning. Does AJ suspect anything?"

"No, but that doesn't explain why you're here."

"Your father and I received several complaints from Mr. Renniks about AJ's behavior. I'm investigating. Don't tell your brother, okay?"

"Alright. If it's a plan to get AJ in trouble then don't worry about me blowing it for y'all." said Ana, grinning.

Nathyrra rolled her eyes. "Run along now, you'll be late for lunch."

Nathyrra watched as her daughter slipped out of the room. She had decided not to tell Ana about the second part of the plan because it was quite possible that Ana would be displeased as well as AJ.

XXXXX

"Bye, Dad." AJ said the next day as he closed the carriage door and walked towards his school.

A devious smirk formed on Ano's lips. He has no idea.

XXXXX

AJ scowled as his sorcery class progressed. Ms. Odessione was teaching them the basics for a fireball spell and AJ was rather bored.

"…Make sure you are using the correct scroll. You don't want to end up causing a thunderstorm when what you really wanted was a fire." Ms. Odessione stated.

Please, I was casting fire spells as soon as I started making coherent speech. By Eilistraee, this class is boring. I'm starting wish I had animal empathy and divine spells like Ana so I could just spend this period outside in the woods instead of cooped up in this damn room.

A quiet knock was heard at the door. The bored students snapped to attention at the disruption.

"Come in." Ms. Odessione said.

To AJ's shock, his mother and father entered the room and sat down in the desks next to their son.

"Class, Mr. and Mrs. Derlyn are going to sit in on our class today. Take no heed of them. We will continue our normal routine." Ms. Odessione declared.

"It's Kant'tar, not Derlyn. I don't go by my husband's last name." Nathyrra muttered under her breath.

"What the hell are you two doing here!" cried an astonished AJ.

The class turned around and stared at them. A cold glare from Nathyrra sent them back to work.

"We're here to make sure you behave." Ano told his son.

"That you don't pretend to translate for Mr. Renniks and scare the janitor out of his wits." Nathyrra added.

"How did you…"

"A little birdie told me."

AJ's jaw dropped. "You're Biscuit!"

"Shh!" Ms. Odessione scolded.

Nathyrra lowered her voice. "I was trying to observe your behavior for myself. We're going to have a LONG talk when we get home, young man. I'm missing work for this."

"Your mother was supposed to travel to the Underdark. And I have several scrolls to translate." Ano growled.

Nathyrra shook her head. "Pay attention." She commanded, gesturing to the teacher. "This could be on the test."

Deciding not to argue with his mother, AJ tried to listen. A dull expression of boredom crossed his face within minutes.

Ano sympathized with AJ. He knew that his son was bored and had often felt the same way when he was AJ's age.

Out of sheer boredom, AJ subtly started playing a duel with his pen and pencil when his mother wasn't looking. He saw his father's green gaze upon him and put down the utensils. Ano picked up the pen and tapped AJ's hand. Comprehension dawned on AJ and he smiled. The boy picked up the pencil and began dueling with his father.

A cold glare from Nathyrra made them stop. "Ano," she began, "Don't encourage him."

"Come on, Nat, he already knows this."

"If he doesn't pay attention to this then how will he pay attention when he needs to learn the more advanced lessons?"

"Cut him some slack, he knows what he's doing."

"He-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Derlyn, is there something you would like share with the rest of the class?" An irritated Ms. Odessione asked.

"No." They both said sheepishly.

XXXXX

AJ, Nathyrra, and Anotalex walked towards AJ's next class. Ana was waiting near the door. "Hey, AJ." Her eyes widened when she saw Nathyrra and Ano. "What the hell are you two doing here!"

"Watch your language! Say 'heck' not 'hell'." Nathyrra snapped. A late student suddenly ran down the hall and accidentally knocked into Nathyrra, not stopping to apologize.

"Damn it! What the hell is your problem!" Nathyrra shouted after him. Ana smirked at her mother. "Say 'heck' not 'hell'." she said in a mocking tone.

Nathyrra narrowed her eyes. Ana shook her head. "What are you two doing here?"

"Making sure that your brother behaves." Ano replied.

"I know but you didn't tell me that you were actually gonna come to school, Mom." Ana said dangerously.

"I didn't think you would react well to the second part of the plan." Nathyrra said, shrugging.

"Wait, you knew?" AJ asked Ana.

"AJ, I knew from the moment Mrs. Parsonn introduced 'Biscuit'."

"You knew…"

"Not about this. If I did, I would have figured out some way to stop them."

XXXXX

"This is so embarrassing." Ana hissed. The family was sitting in AJ and Ana's math class.

"If you think this embarrassing, you should see what my sister, Zarra, and my mother put me through." Nathyrra shot back.

"I thought this was AJ's punishment, not mine."

"We have to make sacrifices sometimes, Ana."

"Well-"

Their conversation was interrupted by Mr. Cassady. "Would you and your mother like to step outside, Ms. Derlyn?" He growled.

"No." Ana and Nathyrra muttered in unison.

"Good." Cassady started to turn towards the board when he looked at Ano and frowned. "Mr. Derlyn, are you chewing gum?"

"Err…" Anotalex stammered.

"Spit it out, Mr. Derlyn."

Ano scowled and walked over to the trashcan.

"Please tell me I've had a nervous collapse and this is just a side-affect of the medicine." Ana said under her breath.

XXXXX

After lunch came recess. Ano, Nat, Hali, and Ana were sitting on one of the bleachers. Res and AJ had gone to join the other boys playing football. (A/N: By football, I mean the American version with the lemon-shaped ball, not soccer. Just clarifying that.)

"So…why is that you're here, Mrs. Kant'tar?" Hali asked.

"To make sure our son behaves." Nathyrra replied.

"I know. It just seems a bit…extreme." Hali stated.

Ano grinned. "It is. Personally, I'm having fun."

"That's because you're encouraging him." An exasperated Nathyrra declared.

"I am not! Nat, I was exactly the same when I his age. He'll grow out of it."

"Uh-huh." Nathyrra said skeptically.

Elsewhere, AJ and Res were about to play a game of football. "Okay, we're one guy short." Their captain, Tom, said.

"What about him?" asked another kid, pointing at Ano in the distance.

"That's my dad." AJ declared.

"You mean the really tall, muscular guy with wings?"

"Yep."

"Go ask him then."

"Okay." AJ ran over to his father. "Hey, Dad, will you play football with us?"

"Sure." Ano responded and walked away.

Nathyrra observed her husband as he started to play. The drow's eyes widened when she realized the dragon disciple's mistake. "NO! ANO, IT'S TOUCH FOOTBALL-" She was cut off by Ano slamming into two students. The boys crashed into one of the walls of the school.

Ana and Hali winced in sympathy. Nathyrra smacked her forehead with an open palm.

"Should I go heal them?" Ana asked.

Nathyrra nodded. Ana and Hali walked away. Nathyrra sighed. "Just what we need, another lawsuit."

XXXXX

The next class was hand-to-hand fighting. "…And so you bring up your arm to block." Ms. Warren said and demonstrated. The class copied her movements.

"The block's wrong." Nathyrra murmured to Ano.

"Let it go, Kitten." Ano pleaded.

"No." Nathyrra addressed Ms. Warren. "The block's wrong."

"What re you talking about?" she asked warily.

"The block is wrong. You should raise your arm higher."

"How would you know, drow?"

Nathyrra stiffened. "I am well aware of the basics of hand-to-hand combat. I just wish that my children's teacher was as well." She spat.

"It's no wonder your son gets in trouble so often, what with a drow like you as a mother." Ms. Warren snarled.

Nathyrra gritted her teeth. "You bitch." Before Ms. Warren could react, Nathyrra slapped her across the face. Warren kicked Nathyrra in the shins and punched her in the stomach. The drow let out a scream of rage and tackled her to the ground, continually punching Warren in the face.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" The kids chanted.

Warren pushed Nathyrra away and kicked her in the ribs. Nathyrra snarled and grabbed Ms. Warren's neck, putting her in a headlock.

"Dad, do something!" a bright red Ana exclaimed.

AJ stared at her. "Why? This is the most entertaining thing that's happened all day."

"Holy crap this is hot." A grinning Ano said.

"DAD!"

"Did I just say that out loud?"

"GO!"

"I'm going! I'm going!" Ano cautiously approached the two women and wrapped his arms around Nathyrra's waist, dragging her away.

"Let go of me! I'm not finished with that elg'carress yet!" Nathyrra roared.

"Let's go, Kitten." Ano murmured. "Kids! Come on, we're going home early."

XXXXX

Ana glared at her parents as they walked into their home. "I hate you." She declared and stormed upstairs to her room.

AJ grinned. "That was so cool." He stated and walked towards his own room.

"She'll thank us for this one day." Ano said, indicating Ana.

"No…she won't." Nathyrra said.