Chapter Twelve

Ano looked up as his children entered the kitchen. "Hey, kids, how was school?"

"Good." AJ replied and sat down across from his father.

"Hmph." Ana mumbled and poured herself a glass of water. She left the room without so much as glancing at her father.

Ano blinked. "What's wrong with her?"

AJ shrugged. "Dunno."

XXXXX

Nathyrra observed her daughter that night at dinner. The twelve-year-old was acting unusually surly that night, scowling and picking at her food.

"Ana, you haven't touched your food." Nathyrra pointed out.

"So?" Ana growled.

Nathyrra bristled. "Why not?"

"I dunno." Ana responded.

AJ grinned. "She's anorexic."

Ana glared at him, her eyes crimson with anger. "Why don't you go fuck a crag cat?" she snapped.

Ano spoke before Nathyrra could. "Go to your room!"

"Whatever." Anathyrra said uncaringly and left the table.

Ano stared after his daughter. What's wrong with her?

XXXXX

That night, Ano could not sleep. He turned his head to look at the backside of his wife. "Nat?"

"Hm?" she grunted.

"Are you awake?"

"I am now." She rolled over. "What is it?"

"I'm worried about Ana."

"How so?" Nathyrra asked, yawning.

"She's been rather moody lately. It's unusual. What's wrong with her?"

"Ano, don't worry about it. Her thirteenth birthday is coming soon…it's normal for someone her age to act like that."

"AJ isn't acting like her."

"Well, Ana's the older twin."

"I guess you're right…"

"Good. Now go to sleep. You're taking the twins to school tomorrow. I have to work."

"Do I have to take Hali and Res too?"

"No, their mothers are taking them." Nathyrra said as she closed her eyes.

"Okay." He paused for a minute. "I love you."

"I love you too but let me sleep."

XXXXX

The next day, Nathyrra bent down and hugged AJ then reached up and kissed Ano. "Bye, Sweetie." She took out a teleportation scroll and cast the spell.

When Nathyrra had completely faded away, Ano checked the time. "AJ, go tell your sister to hurry up or else we'll be late."

A few minutes later AJ came back. "She won't come out of the bathroom."

"Why not?"

"She won't tell me."

Ano frowned and walked upstairs. "Ana! Come on! We're gonna be late!" he called outside the bathroom door.

"I'm not coming out!"

"Fine. I'm coming in." He started to chant a knock spell.

A scowling Ana opened the door before he could finish.

"Now what's wrong?" he asked.

Her face turned bright red.

"Ana?" A confused Ano asked.

Wearing an expression of pure mortification, Ana picked up a pencil and a notepad and wrote a sentence down. Ano took the notepad and began to read aloud. "Dad, I have just started my period." He stared at his daughter, astonished. "You…you…"

"I got my first period!" She cried, half-hysterical.

"Calm down, Precious."

"What do I do?" she shouted.

"Didn't your mother tell you anything?"

"I can't remember it!" Ana yelled, her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey! Hey! Precious, don't cry." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'll go raid your Mom's bathroom for something to help you."

Ana nodded. "Okay."

"Just wait here." Ano commanded and walked away. When he reached Nathyrra's bathroom, he began to search for something to help Ana. "Let's see," Ano said to himself, "Aspirin, Prozac, plastic razor, contraceptives, cotton balls…Midol?" He held up the bottle and examined it. "Does make the blood stop flowing? No wait, it's only for cramps." He continued searching. "Mouth wash, spare toothbrush, shampoo…Edible underwear?" He held up the garment. "I never knew she had any of these." He examined it closer. "Hey! It's cherry." Ano shook his head. "No. Focus, Derlyn." He finally found something useful. "Tampons!" He cried cheerfully and closed the cabinet.

Ana stared at her father as he returned. "Dad! I can't use those!"

"Why not? Your mother uses them."

"Do you have any idea wear I'm supposed to put those?" she exclaimed.

Ano gave her a blank look. Sighing, Ana reached and whispered something in her father's ear. His eyes bulged. "Oh! So that's where they go…"

Ana raised an eyebrow. "You've been with Mom for about fourteen years, didn't you ever learn anything?"

"I never paid attention." Anotalex shook his head. "Let's go get you some kotexes."

XXXXX

"This is great! We get to miss school because Ana's hormones are broken!" AJ cried gleefully a few minutes later in the carriage.

Ana glared at him. "Burn in hell."

"Ana…" Ano warned.

They reached the store. "Let's go." Ano commanded.

"I'm not coming." Ana stated.

"Why not?"

"I refuse."

Ano sighed. "Fine." He and AJ walked towards the store.

XXXXX

Ano and AJ stopped in front of the feminine products isle. Despite all of his years of marriage, Ano had only been forced to go down this isle once or twice. Now he was scared out of his wits. "Well, AJ, you get your sister's 'necessities' and I'll just go get a carton of milk…"

AJ reached out and grabbed his father's sleeve to keep him from walking away. "No way, dude. I'm going down there alone."

"Uh…it'll be a test of courage!"

"So let's test your courage too." AJ said and lead his father down the isle. Ano's gaze fell upon the products. He broke into a sweat. "Too…much…PINK!" He cried.

"Dad…" AJ said fearfully.

Ano crushed his son in a giant hug. "Hold me!"

"Bah! Ano, get off me!" AJ shoved his father away. "Look, man, I'M supposed to be the kid, YOU'RE supposed to act like an adult! Now quit whining and face this like a man!"

"I don't wanna be a man!" Ano put on an insane grin. "I'll get a sex change! Then I'll be fearless when I walk down this isle!"

AJ backhanded him. "Snap out of it, Anotalex!"

"Thanks, Buddy. I needed that." Ano admitted.

AJ slapped him again.

"What the hell was that for?" Ano yelled indignantly.

AJ shrugged. "I dunno."

Ano frowned.

AJ scanned the shelves. "I can't find any. Maybe we should just ask one of the workers…?"

"No, let's just go to another store." Ano said hastily and ran towards the exit.

XXXXX

It took some heavy persuasion from AJ to make his father go down the isle again at the next store. They were unsuccessful in finding the product. AJ started to walk towards one of the store workers.

"AJ! What are you doing!" Ano shouted.

AJ rolled his eyes and walked towards the woman.

She smiled at the boy just as Ano ran over to AJ. "May I help you?"

"Do you have kotexes?"

She blinked at AJ's request but answered anyway. "I'm sorry, we just ran out. You should try our store on the other side of town."

XXXXX

The third time, they successfully acquired the product. The clerk stared at Ano when he saw the kotexes.

Ano glared at him. "They're for my daughter."

The man nodded. "Paper or plastic?"

XXXXX

When the three arrived home, Nathyrra was waiting for them.

Ano blinked. "You're home early."

Nathyrra shrugged. "It was a simple assignment." She stared at the twins. "Why are our children home?"

Ana scowled and muttered something. It was incomprehensible to Anotalex but his wife's acute sense of hearing picked it up. The drow's eyes widened and she herded Ana towards the bathroom.

Ano ran his fingers through his hair. "I…I think I need to go lie down." He said, a bit disoriented.

AJ grinned mischievously, seeing the advantage of the situation. "Can I have a can of frosting for lunch?"

"Sure, Snuggles." Ano said, now completely unfocused.

The dog looked up from the bone he was chewing. Poor Ano. He's lost it now that Ana is in heat.

XXXXX

A half hour later, Nathyrra walked into her room. Anotalex was sitting on the bed, a bottle of wine in one hand, a wineglass in the other. Nathyrra strode over and took the bottle and glass away. Ignoring her husband's protests, she put them back where they belonged.

"What was that for?" Ano asked mournfully.

"So I can talk to my husband while he's sober rather than intoxicated."

"I needed a drink after what I went through."

"Surely it wasn't that bad-"

"We went to three stores. That's three trips down a feminine products isle, Kitten!"

She rolled her eyes. "You fought a medusa, a lizard queen, the woman you once loved, and a duke of Hell but you're frightened of the feminine products isle?"

"There's something evil about that isle…"

She shook her head. "You're so strange."

"And that's why you love me." Ano said, grinning.

Nathyrra rolled her eys and reached down to kiss him. A slight cough was heard from the doorway. The couple looked up. Their son stood in the entryway. "Ana needs you, Mom."

Nathyrra stood up. Ano frowned as she did so. Nathyrra smiled. "Later." she promised and left the room.

XXXXX

The next day, Ano gazed at his daughter. Ana was wearing a t-shirt with the phrase 'Piss Off' on the front—a midwinter present from Drak—eating a pint of Chocolate chip ice-cream, wearing a disgruntled scowl, and watching 'Oprah Winnblade' on PV.

"You look so much like your mother." Ano commented.

"I'm not quite sure if that's compliment considering my current state."

"Neither am I, now that I think about it."