m: In case anyone is wondering, P.L.I.A.C stands for Pompous Little Intelligent Anti Christ. 'Overdrive' belongs to Katy Rose. 'Breaking the Habit' belongs to Linkin Park. 'For You' belongs to Staind.

Chapter Thirteen

"Are we there yet?" asked a bored AJ.

"We get there when we get there." Anotalex replied and continued driving.

"AJ, aren't you a bit old to play the 'Are we there yet' game?" Ana asked.

"Aren't YOU a bit old to…eat snacks right after school?"

"That was terrible, AJ." Ana said flatly.

"Both of you stop it." Nathyrra snapped.

"Listen to your mother, Kids." Ano added.

"That was kinda redundant, Dad." AJ pointed out.

"Be quiet." Ano snapped. We should reach your uncle's house in about thirty minutes."

"Great." Ana said sarcastically.

XXXXX

"Hey there." Joragin greeted. He grinned and hugged his brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew.

"Hey Uncle Jor." AJ greeted. "Where's Tam?"

"He's around here somewhere." He motioned for everyone to come in.

XXXXX

Nathyrra walked into the kitchen. The rest of the family was elsewhere. Ano was with Joragin and several other guests in the common room, Anathyrra was with Delilah, and AJ was with Tamorlyn.

"Hello, Sharwyn." Nathyrra said to the woman.

"Hey, Nat. I'll be with you in a second." She turned towards the year-old child sitting in a high stool. "Come on, Pliac, it's good for you." She coaxed, trying to get the boy to eat a spoonful of baby food.

Pliac glared at her. "How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda! Continue to do such and I shall be forced to dispose of you."

"You'll grow up to be big and strong like your father." Sharwyn pleaded.

Pliac snorted. "Yes, there's nothing more I desire than to resemble that paternal imbecile. Do you honestly believe-" before he could finish, Sharwyn put the spoon in his mouth while he was speaking.

Pliac gaped at her in open shock. "What the hell is wrong with you? You dare to place such a vile substance in my mouth? You shall pay for that, you heartless witch!"

"Perhaps he's teething," Nathyrra suggested, "Maybe that's why he doesn't want to eat."

Sharwyn shook her head. "He's not teething. I'm not worried though, Del did the same thing when she was his age."

"I will not sit here and be compared to that pathetic girl! Get me out of this seat, woman, I have more important matters to attend to."

Sharwyn smiled and put Pliac down on the floor. "There you go, Sweetie."

"Victory is mine!" Pliac ran out of the room. Now then, to find that buffoon of an uncle and learn how he managed to take over a country. His tactics could be a great asset to my plans for world domination.

Sharwyn grabbed a rag and began cleaning the area on the chair where Pliac had spit up his food.

"Do you need help?" Nathyrra asked.

"No thank you." She looked at the rag and scowled. "I'm just glad that this isn't one of those gag rags with black ink in them."

"What?"

"Tamorlyn is going through his 'prank stage'."

"Ah. AJ did the same thing when he was eight."

"I know. It's driving the rest of the family mad. Joragin especially."

"That's not good."

"What do you mean?"

"Ano almost turned into the slayer."

Sharwyn dropped the rag. "WHAT?"

"You've never seen Jor turn into the slayer, have you?"

Sharwyn shook her head. "He's managed to keep his temper in check for all these years. Amazing really."

"Thirty-six years without becoming the slayer? That's impressive."

"Thirty-seven. Today's his birthday, remember?"

"Really? Ano only lasted for twenty-six years. Apparently it was Aribeth's death that drove him over the edge." Nathyrra stated, a hint of irritation in her tone.

Sharwyn smirked. "You still hate her, don't you?"

"I do not hate her. I merely loathe her entire being and wish that she had remained dead. I am also quite pleased that we have not come into contact for about nine years."

Sharwyn rolled her eyes.

Nathyrra reached into her pocket and produced a holy symbol of Eilistraee. "Here. Use this if he ever does turn into the slayer."

Sharwyn took the item. "Thanks but don't you need one?"

"I can always get another one at work."

"That's good. Oh! I just remembered, is Ano any good at carpentry?"

"Gods no. The last thing he tried to build was two beds and he ended up having to buy some for the twins rather than build them. That was ten years ago."

"It must run in the family then. Damn. I was hoping he could help Jor."

Nathyrra arched an eyebrow. "With what?"

"Joragin has started building a tool shed in the backyard. He doesn't need it, he'll never use it, and he certainly can't build it but he wants it."

Nathyrra sighed in exasperation. "What is it with men and trying to build things when they can't? That goes for fixing things as well. I remember, A few years ago, Ano accidentally split the dinner table in half while cutting meat. My husband insisted on fixing it himself and managed to blow up half of the kitchen."

"How did he do that?"

"One word."

"What?"

"Magic."

"Ah."

XXXXX

Drak was about to tell a joke when Pliac walked in. "So a pirate walks into a bar…"

"Hey there, Pliac." Joragin greeted and pulled the child into his lap.

"Bah! Release me, you idiotic patriarch! I demand to see your sibling at once!" Pliac cried.

"You wanna see Uncle Ano? Okay." Joragin handed Pliac to Anotalex.

Ano grinned. "Hey, little guy."

Pliac scowled. "Hmph. I shall overlook your mockery of my height on one condition." He raised his fist in a threatening manner and grabbed Ano's shirt. "Enlighten me on how you conquered Amn. NOW!"

"Whoa. Someone needs a nap." Joragin declared and picked up Pliac. Pliac snarled in frustration as he was carried out of the room. "Damn it all! I will prevail! You will tell me your secret, Anotalex Derlyn!" Pliac shouted.

"Bye, Pliac!" Ano called after him. Ano, Sarevok, Imoen, Jaheira, Linu, Daelan, and Tomi resumed their conversations.

XXXXX

Ana and Delilah walked into Delilah's room. Del stopped Ana before she sat down. "Wait."

The thirteen-year-old arched an eyebrow at Del.

Del reached under the cushion and pulled out a whoopee cushion. The twelve-year-old gritted her teeth in annoyance. "Tam, you little freak, get out of my room!" Del began searching the room. "Where is he?"

"THEY are up there." Ana replied. Del gave her a confused look. Ana pointed at the ceiling. Del looked up to see AJ standing on the ceiling, holding onto Tamorlyn.

Delilah glared at the two boys. "Get out. NOW!"

"Talk about pissy." AJ muttered as jumped down.

"She's always like that." Tamorlyn informed AJ.

"Get out my room, loser." Del snapped.

They left the room. Del rolled her eyes and sat down. "He's been going through this whole 'prank stage'. It's freaking obnoxious."

"I know. AJ did the same thing when he was eight. I ended up eating laxatives."

"What did you do?"

"I dyed my Mom's hair pink and blamed it on him."

"Ooh…that's not a bad idea…"

"I don't think Aunt Sharwyn would be too distressed if her hair was dyed pink. After all, she puts fake highlights in her hair."

"Yeah. Ya know, I wanted dye my hair blonde but she wouldn't let me. When I brought up the fact that she puts highlights in her hair, she grounded me for a week. Hypocrite." Delilah declared, idly twisting one of her wavy, red locks around her finger.

"That sucks." Ana commented.

Delilah suddenly grinned. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"Can I give you a makeover? It'd be so much fun!" Del exclaimed cheerfully.

"Yeah! Sounds great!" Ana cried brightly.

"Really?"

"No." Ana said flatly.

"Fine. Be that way." Delilah walked over to the wisp and whispered several commands. Music began playing.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I'm independence

Yeah, Yeah, yeah I'm borderline

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm California

My mind's all smeared and upside down

But my heart's on overdrive

Ana immediately switched the station.

I sit here locked inside my head

Remembering everything you said

The silence gets us nowhere

Gets us nowhere

Gets us nowhere

Way too fast

Del frowned and switched the station. Ana raised an eyebrow. "Can we compromise?" She switched the station again.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't why I instigate to say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

Tonight

They looked at each other and nodded.

XXXXX

Pliac scowled and paced back and forth in his room. "Damn it. How can I extract the information I require?" He smiled as a sudden thought struck him. "Perfect! If I perform that, then my moronic older brother will take the blame."

XXXXX

Ano walked towards the dining room. Unknown to them, Pliac stood on the stairs above them. Now is the time to strike. Pliac dragged one of his father's scimitars towards the edge. After checking to make sure that it was sheathed and would only cause blunt damage, Pliac dropped the sword over the edge. The item met its target, Ano's head. The dragon disciple's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed, unconscious.

"AHA! Victory is mine!" Pliac did a little victory dance.

"Ano?" asked a familiar voice.

Pliac immediately canceled his dance. "Blast!"

Drak flew over to the unconscious sorcerer. "Wonderful, just wonderful. That's blow to the head is probably gonna make him even stupider." Sighing, Drak turned into a human and began dragging Ano towards the kitchen.

Pliac was steaming. "Damn that dragon! Next time I shall get rid of him before targeting Anotalex…"

XXXXX

"Oh for Eilistraee's sake! What happened to him this time?" Nathyrra growled as Drak pulled Ano into the dining room.

"Apparently Tamorlyn and AJ thought it would be fun to play a prank on him." Drak replied.

"Are you sure it was them?" asked Daelan.

"Who else would do that?" Drak asked.

Jaheira stood up. Linu started to stand as well but the druid shook her head and motioned for Linu to stay where she was. Jaheira knelt down next to Ano. "He'll be alright."

Tomi started roaring with laughter. Linu glared at him. "Why am I not surprised that you find this funny? The poor man is unconscious and all you can do is laugh."

"I'd pickpocket him if his wife weren't in the room. And she knows what she's doing with those knives of hers. Nasty little buggers."

Nathyrra glared at him and knelt down next to her husband.

Joragin stood up. "I'm gonna go speak with Tam and AJ."

All of a sudden, the sound of an explosion filled the air.

XXXXX

"This is gonna be so cool." Tam declared.

"Will it really work?" AJ asked.

"Of course. These are premium firecrackers." Tamorlyn declared. He pulled the string. Much to the two boys' surprise, the firecracker shot into the air and crashed into the unfinished tool shed.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Tam and AJ dropped to the ground to avoid flying pieces of debris. Three minutes later, the cousins stood up. Tam paled at the ruins of the shed. "Dad's gonna be so pissed."

"TAMORLYN ANOMEN DERLYN!" Joragin shouted when he saw the rubble.

"ANOTALEX SEELAMIN DERLYN!" Nathyrra screamed.

AJ and Tamorlyn both smiled sheepishly.

XXXXX

"Wow, AJ. That's the fifty-sixth thing you've managed to blow up this year." Ana noted a while later in the carriage.

"Shut up." AJ hissed.

"Can it, both of you." Nathyrra spat. "As soon as your father wakes up, we'll discuss your punishment."

AJ glanced at his unconscious father in the front passenger seat. A sly smile played across his lips.

"And don't even think of casting a sleep spell on him. I'll know if you did."

"Dang it."