m: Due to the fact that I'm a lazy bum, This chapter is gonna be mostly made up of flashbacks and crap (not real crap, obviously.) that Nat and Ano remember as they prepare for the twins to move out as well as general stuff that just happened, in the italics. Pennywise the clown belongs to Stephen King and the producers of the crappy movie, 'IT'. Special thanks to Tamora Pierce's 'Trickster's Choice', the movie 'The Incredibles', that random joke that I heard, the parenting magazine that I read during my last doctors visit, the movie 'Roxanne'. Me and my sister used to pull the same crap with the cookies when I was six years old. (Of course, we never got caught.) Various jokes from 4degreez that inspired me. The song, 'Daddy's Little Defect' by Sugarcult. 'If I Could Fall In Love' by Lenny Kravitz.
shadow0015: Ana probably sees it as a war story now. Especially considering what Snuggles has been telling her. LOL. Why do guys always say, "You should see the other guy." after a fight? I've always wanted to say, "Can you give me his address? I wanna congratulate him for the kicking the crap out of your dumb ass." Just kidding. We can only wonder if Redspear is still alive…I think Ano might not be as redeemed as he thought, either. LOL. If he is, then Redspear's hospitalized and most-likely handicapped. I think I'm gonna make AJ a bard. He's gonna be a dragon disciple and a fighter, but bard seems to suit him more than sorcerer. Pliac will be the sorcerer, and Del and Tam will be bards. :D Sharwyn jumping out of cake…well, she never did say what kind of performing she did with Dannen in Beregost that got them noticed. LOL. They should be waving in unison, and maybe Ano could fall off his chair…I assume some type of marijuana was in the brownies. On the subject of Sharwyn's hair, what do Ano and Shar have in common? They were both born brunette. Ha-ha, I've been watching too much 'Cheers' Carla kicks ass…I think Nat and Ano would have killed each other over a Twinkie at the dinner after their little 'run-in' with the brownies. "I'm more of a freelance worshiper." You're welcome to use that line, on the condition that I get to kidnap Telaya and subject her to Ilivarra. Just kidding about the kidnapping, you're welcome to use the line. The scene where Ana captured all those soldiers was inspired by 'Wild Mage' by Tamora Pierce. (Greatest authoress. Ever.) "And of course you are mean, rude, pompous, arrogant and self-righteous for not revealing the meaning of the dream...but I still like you anyways." Why thank you, Shadow. I was afraid that I wasn't living up to my standards. Like every other skill, bitchiness is one I must practice a constant basis to remain superb at it. I'm very dedicated to The Way of the Bitch. ;-)
Chapter Eighteen
Ano smiled as he pulled out the book. His son and daughter had recently graduated from their high school. Both had been accepted into academies, and were preparing to move out. Ana would attend an academy devoted to the study of becoming a ranger, while AJ would attend a school to become a bard. Ano sat in his bedroom, looking at a photo album.
The first page held pages of the twins' first year. Ano smiled as he remembered.
"Anotalex, go check on our son. He's asleep in the twins' room." Nathyrra said as attempted to feed Ana a spoonful of baby food.
"Sure, Kitten." Ano walked up the stairs. When he entered AJ's room, he gasped. Flames roared in every part of the room, setting everything on fire. AJ laughed with delight at the fire. Ano raced into the room and immediately grabbed his son. He then used a spell to douse the flames. The dragon disciple breathed a sigh of relief and looked at AJ. "You okay, Buddy?"
AJ pointed at Ano's chest. Though Ano was immune to fire's affects, his shirt was not. AJ giggled as Ano's shirt was reduced to cinders.
A smirk was heard from the doorway. Ano turned around to see his wife holding Ana and chuckling at her husband. "It seems our son has inherited our arcane magic." Nathyrra smiled at Ana. "I wonder if you have as well." She murmured to the infant.
"This is normal to you?" Ano asked, mildly surprised.
"This is quite normal for children with magical abilities. Drow children in particular." The drow put on a wry grin. "I was told that I once burned down an entire section of House Kant'tar when I was AJ's age."
"That doesn't surprise me." Ano said dryly.
Nathyrra handed Ana to her father and began to cast protection against fire spells in the room. "I'll cast some more around the house. Chances are it's only a phase. However, we should be careful about who we allow to hold him. Just because we're fireproof doesn't mean everyone else is."
AJ suddenly spit up, right in Ano's face.
Nathyrra blinked. "I'm afraid I don't have a spell to help with that."
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Of course, AJ wasn't the only child that explored their powers at a young age.
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The family stood in a field. It was the day of the twins' baptism. After much arguing over which religion the twins would be raised with, Nathyrra prevailed and Eilistraee was chosen. The Seer herself had offered to baptize them.
The guests looked at the family. Ano held AJ in one arm, while he used to the other to help Nathyrra hold up a large sheet. The virtual hammock squirmed violently. A bird's claw stuck out. A moment later, a snake tail hung over the edge.
The Seer looked at Anotalex. "Would you like me to take your son while you sort out things with your daughter?"
Ano nodded and gave AJ to her.
Sharwyn blinked at the sheet. "I can't imagine nursing her."
"It's a challen-" Nathyrra began but suddenly stopped when the bag dropped, too heavy for both parents to hold. The bag rolled towards Ano, knocking him down.
"Are you sure it's yours, Ano?" Drak asked. "She doesn't look very much like you." he stated, looking at the baby elephant that was Ana.
Ano glared at him.
Nathyrra grabbed one end and attempted to pull the shape shifting child off her husband.
"Come on, Joragin." Sharwyn commanded. She and her lover walked over to the sheet.
Joragin began to count. "One…Two…Three!"
Just as the threesome pulled, Ana changed again. The three all fell backwards from the force of their pulling, and a small black kitten landed on Nathyrra's chest.
Drak laughed as the kitten licked Nathyrra's face. "Now I understand. She takes after her mother."
"Funny." Nathyrra stated, a bit irritated. The drow looked at her daughter—now a puppy—who was trying to dig a hole in Nathyrra's shirt. Ana stopped and walked towards Nathyrra's face, proceeding to lick it.
"I love you too." Nathyrra declared as she wiped away the slobber on her face.
Jaheira shook her head as she walked over. "You two need to be firmer with children. You're going to spoil her."
"It's a bit hard to reason with an infant." Nathyrra pointed out.
"Or a cub." Ano added.
Jaheira walked over to Ana—now a wolf cub—and picked her up. No matter what shape Ana took, Jaheira held her firmly. "Stop it." Jaheira ordered sternly.
Ana stopped struggling, her tiger cub eyes fixed on Jaheira.
"You're exhausting your parents. If you continue this, you'll tire yourself out before you're twelve. Go back to your natural form, Anathyrra." She stopped and cocked her head to side as though she was listening to something. The druid looked at Ana. "Not until you're at least six, Anathyrra. Learn the limits of your own body before attempting to change into another."
Ana changed back to her half-drow form. Jaheira gave her back to Nathyrra. "Next time, don't change shape while you're pregnant. It gives them ideas."
Nathyrra nodded.
Jaheira looked at AJ. "Don't even think about it."
AJ blinked and stopped casting the fire spell.
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Ano turned the page. The twins' two-year-old pictures stood out.
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Ano sat on the floor, once again trying to teach his offspring to talk. He held up a flashcard. "Can you say 'monkey'?"
"Monkey." Ana pointed at Ano.
Nathyrra snickered from her position on the couch.
Ano snorted. "What do kids know?"
"Ana, can you say 'carnivore'?" Nathyrra asked.
"Carnivore." Ana recited, pointing at Snuggles.
Ano scowled. "AJ, can you say… 'pig'?"
"Pig." AJ pointed at Ano.
Nathyrra chuckled. "AJ, can you say 'sarcastic'?"
"Sarcastic." AJ walked over to the shelf, took out a photo album, flipped through the pages, and pointed at a picture of Drak.
Ano glared at Nathyrra before turning back to Ana. "Ana, can you say 'cow'?"
"Cow." This time, Ana pointed at Nathyrra.
"WHAT?" Nathyrra cried.
"No, Precious, the correct term is 'al'vur'." Ano told his daughter.
The drow gave her husband an incredibly cold look. "That was low."
"Well, I am a pig."
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Another memory of the twins at age two came to Ano's mind.
XXXXX
Ano scooped the sleeping AJ into his arms. Maybe Nat won't notice the living room, he thought.
"ANOTALEX DERLYN!" A shrill voice shrieked.
Ano winced.
Nathyrra stormed into the kitchen. She strode over to Ano and planted herself in front of him. "You idiot! I leave you for hour with our son and what happens? You give him a bucket of sugar and let him run rampant all over the house! It's going to take weeks to get the stains out of the carpet!"
AJ frowned and squirmed in his father's arms. Why is this weird lady always talking, the two-year-old wondered to himself.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get juice stains out of the carpet? Well, you're going to because you're going to clean it up! As soon as-" She was cut off by AJ taking his pacifier and sticking it in Nathyrra's mouth.
"Be quiet, Mommy. I'm trying to sleep." He told her before closing his eyes.
Ano laughed. "I wonder if I can teach him to do that on command." he joked.
Nathyrra pulled the item out of her mouth, glared at her husband, and walked away.
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Ano looked at the next year. Not only had the twins become three years old, but his niece, Delilah, had been born. The dragon disciple chuckled as he remembered that day.
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Nathyrra and Anotalex stood in the hospital room. Sharwyn was propped up on the bed. "Where the hell is Joragin? I swear, when he does get here, I'm going to kick his skinny little ass so hard…"
"I doubt you'll be doing any ass kicking for a while, Shar." Nathyrra pointed out.
"You want me to go look for him?" Ano offered.
Sharwyn nodded.
Ano walked out of the room.
Sharwyn let out a deep sigh. "How the hell did you do this with twins?"
Nathyrra smiled. "I wasn't aware that I was carrying twins. I thought I was going to have only a boy or a girl. I never expected two. Especially since drow twins have been known to kill each other in the nine months of pregnancy."
Sharwyn blinked. "That's an interesting fact." She sighed. "Where the hell is he?"
"Don't worry, Anotalex was late. Now that I think of it, he wasn't just late, he passed out too."
Sharwyn wasn't listening. "I'm going to kill him. As soon as I recover from giving birth, I'm going to murder him. Starting with his slow feet. I'll tell my child that he was in a…scimitar accident. Yes, scimitar accident…that's it…"
Nathyrra gestured to the nurse. "Get the painkillers. Now!" the drow whispered urgently.
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Ten minutes later, Joragin ran down the halls. He accidentally knocked into a nurse, which caused her to fall down. The bard didn't stop to apologize and continued running.
"Ass wipe!" The nurse called after him.
"Sorry!" Ano shouted as he ran past her.
Joragin burst into Sharwyn's room. "Shar, I am so sorry-"
Sharwyn interrupted, "Don't worry, Jor, Jorry, Joragin! Ha-ha-ha. Ya know, I was a bit worried about this at first, but now I'm okay about it. It'll be fun! We'll teach him or her how to sing, how to play a musical instrument, and how to be really sexy. If it's a girl, I'll teach her! If it's a boy, Drak will teach him. Those scales are so hot…"
Joragin blinked. "Sharwyn, are you drunk?"
"Nope, they loaded me up on painkillers. Ha-ha-ha! OW!" Sharwyn cried.
The doctor rushed over and nurses rushed over. Joragin and Ano watched with growing anxiety.
"I think I see a head!" One of the nurses called out.
Joragin's eyes widened and he fell backwards, unconscious. Two seconds later, Ano passed out.
Nathyrra arched an eyebrow at the two men. "I suppose it must run in the Derlyn family…"
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An hour later, the tired Sharwyn rested her head on the pillows. Ano was wide awake, but Joragin was still unconscious.
"Should we wake him up?" Ano asked Nathyrra.
"No. Let him rest. He's going to need all the sleep he can get for the next few weeks." She replied.
Sharwyn sighed. "I need a drink."
"You're not getting one." Nathyrra informed her.
"I still want one."
"Too bad."
The doctor entered the room. "Ma'am, we have something to tell you about your child."
"When can I see her?" Sharwyn asked anxiously.
"That's the thing; your child is a hermaphrodite."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that the child exhibits both female and male parts."
"…"
Nathyrra spoke up, "He's saying that your child is a boy and girl, Shar."
Sharwyn gasped. "You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"
Nathyrra decided not to answer this.
The doctor laughed. "I'm just kidding. I like to play jokes on my patients."
The glare that Sharwyn gave him could have frozen lava.
The man gulped. "A nurse is coming with her." He left the room.
Joragin slowly opened his eyes. "What happened?"
Ano grinned. "Congrats. You're a dad, Jor."
Joragin's eyes widened. "Where is he? Or she?"
"SHE is coming." Nathyrra told him.
Joragin walked over to Sharwyn and knelt down beside her. "Are you alright, Shar?"
"I want a drink."
"You're not getting one."
A nurse walked into the room, carrying a small bundle of cloth in her arms. "Would you like to see the child, sir?" she asked Ano.
Anotalex pointed at his brother. "He's the father. I'm the uncle."
The nurse smiled and handed the baby to Joragin. The bard gazed at the infant with stunned wonder. He held her carefully, as though he was afraid that he would break her if he was not careful.
Joragin walked over to Sharwyn and handed the child to her mother. "What's her name?"
"I haven't decided yet."
"How about… 'Delilah'?" Joragin suggested.
Sharwyn smiled. "Delilah it is, like my mother."
Joragin grinned and pressed a kiss to his wife's hand. She smiled and held the infant with her other hand.
XXXXX
Ano smiled once more as another memory came to mind.
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"Daddy, tell me a story." Ana demanded as her father tucked her in for bedtime.
"Alright, but just one. After that you have to go to sleep."
The four-year-old nodded vigorously. "Tell me the one about the follower of Eilistraee."
Ano grinned and began the tale, "Once upon a time, there was beautiful follower of Eilistraee. As a wizard, she was quite active in the name of her goddess and the only thing she enjoyed more than coming home were her reunions with her beloved husband, and a good night's sleep. One time, it was too late for the couple to return to their home, so they spent the night at the follower's base. Their room was on the second story of the building, and right next to the dog house. The dog house held many guard dogs, used to assist the followers with things that a humanoid was incapable of performing. The keeper of the dogs set up seats beneath the couple's balcony and sold tickets for the seats. Late that night, they started banging on the doors to the dog house. This awoke the animals, and they all started barking. The wizard was rather hotheaded and when she awoke, she ran onto the balcony, a dagger in one hand, a fireball in the other. The male spectators below rejoiced in the fact that their coworker slept without pajamas. Needless to say, the head priestess put a stop it when she found out and made the keeper use his earnings to move the dog house away from the followers' lodging. However, there are still men who will swear by Eilistraee that she is one of the most gorgeous wizards in the world."
Ana grinned. "Tell another one, Daddy."
"No, Precious, it's time for bed." He tucked the sheets around her and walked towards the door.
"Night, Daddy." Ana said, yawning.
"Night, Precious."
Ano shut the door behind him and turned around to see Nathyrra glaring at him. He grinned sheepishly. "Hey, Kitten."
"Did you really have to tell her that story? You know how I despise it."
Ano chuckled. "She doesn't know it was you, Nat."
"Hmph. It's been years and I still get teased about that at work."
"Yes, but the Seer fixed the problem, remember?"
"I know." She shook her head. "You sleep like a log, do you know that? You didn't even hear the dogs and didn't even wake up until I ran out of the room."
"I tried to warn you."
"You were still asleep. And you were laughing when I went back into the room."
"It was quite amusing."
"Maybe to you. I am actually surprised that you weren't angry about those men staring and catcalling at me."
"Well, there's significant difference between them and me. They get to look," Ano wrapped his arms around Nathyrra's waist. "I get to look AND touch." He leaned down and kissed her.
Nathyrra returned the kiss for a few seconds before pushing away from him. She playfully raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to spoil you."
Ano grinned. "Please do." He kissed her again.
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Nathyrra walked down the hallway. She stopped when she heard the sound of sniffling. Curious, she followed the sound. It was coming from her room. The drow opened the door.
Ano sat on the bed, crying as he looked at a picture album.
"Ano, what's wrong?" A concerned Nathyrra asked as she sat down next to him.
Ano jumped with surprise. "I didn't realize that you were in here." He grabbed a tissue and began wiping away his tears.
"Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying."
"Ano!"
"Fine." He sighed. "I'm gonna miss the twins. I was just looking at their pictures throughout the years and…" The dragon disciple suddenly grabbed Nathyrra in a hug, buried his face in her shoulders, and started bawling.
"Uh…it's okay, Sweetie." A startled Nathyrra stammered, patting him on the back.
Ano pulled away. "Sorry."
Nathyrra smiled and reached over to wipe away his tears. "Don't be. I'm glad that you're not bottling this up."
He chuckled. "I am too." He wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders and pulled her closer. "I was just about to look at their five-year-old pictures."
A memory flashed through Nathyrra's mind.
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"Behave yourself while you're here." Nathyrra ordered her five-year-old daughter as they approached the house.
Halieth answered the door. "Hi, Ana!"
"Hi, Hali!" Ana greeted.
Hali's father materialized behind his daughter. "Does Ana have everything for the sleepover?"
Nathyrra nodded.
"Do you have everything for the sleepover?" He asked Nathyrra, winking.
Nathyrra decided to play along. "I think so."
"Did you remember your pajamas?"
Nathyrra was about to answer when Ana cried out, "She doesn't need pajamas! She sleeps naked!"
Everyone was silent for several minutes after that outburst.
"Er…Well," The red-faced father began, "When do you want to pick her up, Nudethyrra—I mean, Nathyrra."
"Two hours before noon." Nathyrra said from behind clenched teeth.
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That was mortifying, Nathyrra thought later that night as she soaked in the bath. I'm going to have to speak with Ana tomorrow. And possibly AJ. He may have said something when Ano dropped him off at Res's house.
She stood up and wrapped herself in a towel. The drow walked out of the room and looked out the window. Her eyes widened when she saw that Snuggles had somehow gotten outside.
Nathyrra walked onto the back porch. "Snuggles! Get back inside!"
Snuggles walked inside. As he walked through the entrance, he brushed against the door and accidentally closed it. Nathyrra tried to open it, but it was locked. She tried to walk away, but her towel was caught in the door. "Shit!" The drow cursed.
Sighing, she let the towel drop to the floor and snuck around to the front of the house. The front door was locked as well. The drow gritted her teeth. "This just gets better and better. Good thing Ano's gonna be home soon." She heard someone approaching. Thinking quickly, she ran towards one of the bushes.
Nathyrra breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was only Ano. "Anotalex!" She hissed.
Ano looked at the bush. "Nat?"
"Yes."
"What are you doing in the bush?"
"I got locked out."
"That doesn't explain why you're hiding in a bush."
"…I'm not wearing any clothes."
Ano smirked. "How did that happen?"
"I had just taken a bath. Snuggles got outside and I brought him back in. The door accidentally closed while I was still outside and my towel got caught. I was trying to open the front door but as you can see, it's locked and I don't exactly have any lock picks with me." She glared at him. "Stop laughing at me!"
"I'm not laughing. (Snort!)"
"Just shut up and open the door."
"I don't have a key."
"WHAT?"
"Well, you were home. I thought that I wouldn't need one."
"You imbecile!"
"I'm not the one who's completely naked, Nat."
"Look, this arguing is pointless. It's freezing and I wanna go back inside."
"Do you want my coat?"
"No, Ano, I just want to freeze." Nathyrra snapped sarcastically.
"Alright then." Ano starting walking.
"You're not gonna give me your coat?"
"You said you didn't want it."
"I was being sarcastic!"
"Oh, I couldn't tell. I am an imbecile after all."
"You are the most frustrating man in all of Toril!"
"That's a problem, isn't it?"
"I am going to kick your ass in a few seconds."
"Then you'd have to leave your bush."
"You've seen me naked before."
"Yes, but unless you've been leading a double life, the neighbors haven't."
"You are absolutely infuriating! Open the door! NOW!"
"Make me!"
One of their neighbors stuck his head out his window. "Is everything alright, Anotalex?" He called.
"We're fine, Bob!" Ano replied.
Bob blinked before closing his window and leaving.
Nathyrra took a deep breath. "Ano, if you ever want to sleep with me again then open that door!"
Ano immediately sped off to obey. I am such a man-bitch, the dragon disciple thought as he climbed the wall of his house. He crawled into an open window in the attic. "Wrap yourself in this!" Ano threw a sheet out the window.
Nathyrra grabbed it and wrapped the item around herself. A minute later, Ano opened the front door and she was able to go inside.
Ano smiled at her.
She rewarded him with a sneer.
"I was just teasing you, Kitten."
Her eyes continued to smolder.
He took a step towards her, his arms wide open.
She took a step backwards, her eyes daring him to come forward.
The fighter gasped. "What's that?" He cried, pointing behind Nathyrra.
Nathyrra quirked an eyebrow and turned around.
While she was distracted, Ano grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace.
She scowled but soon gave in and rested her head against his chest.
His brow furrowed. "By Tempus! You're as cold as ice, Kitten!"
"I wasn't joking." She growled.
Ano pulled off his coat and wrapped it around her. "Let's get you warmed up."
"How might we do that?" Nathyrra asked, giving him a mischievous grin.
Ano looked at her and burst out laughing. "You are a wicked, wicked woman, Nat."
"I'm glad I haven't lost my touch."
He shook his head. "I'm gonna go start a fire."
Nathyrra reached up and caressed his face, using her other hand to walk her fingers across his chest. "Are you certain that's the wisest choice of action?"
Ano stared at her. "You are really confusing sometimes. First, you're angry at me. Now, you wanna have sex. Are you sure that you're not a bit of a nymphomaniac? I truly don't understand you sometimes-" He was cut off by Nathyrra pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. That'll shut him up, the drow thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck…
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Ano laughed. "I rather enjoyed that."
Nathyrra frowned at him. "You're not the one who was freezing outside."
Ano grinned. "We should try that again sometime."
The drow returned her husband's grin with a glare and flipped the page.
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Nathyrra and Anotalex ushered their twins into the petting zoo.
"Have fun." Nathyrra murmured.
The five-year-old twins grinned and ran inside.
AJ looked at one of the roosters. "Hey, Mom!"
"Yes?" Nathyrra responded.
AJ pointed at the animal. "This one's the biggest. I think he must be the daddy."
"That's nice, but don't go too close. I don't him to attack you with that beak of his."
Several minutes later the twins and their parents started to leave.
AJ looked at a family that was just entering the zoo. "Watch out for Daddy. He's got a huge pecker!"
The other family stared at Anotalex, their eyes wide.
A mortified Nathyrra grabbed her son's arm and pulled him out of the zoo.
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Nathyrra sighed. "AJ has a knack for saying mortifying things."
Ano grinned wickedly. "I was actually rather flattered that the family thought he was talking about me."
Nathyrra rolled her eyes.
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"…Okay, that's the plan. You got all that?" AJ asked his six-year-old twin.
"Are you sure this is okay? This seems wrong." Ana said.
"It's only wrong if Mom catches us." AJ retorted.
The twins stealthily crept towards the kitchen. Nathyrra placed a tin of cookies on the counter before going back to a steaming pot. She whispered a spell and a cloud of blue smoke rose from the pot.
The twins looked at each other.
"I'm not coming down to dinner." AJ declared.
"Me neither." Ana added.
Ana walked into the kitchen. Nathyrra turned around and smiled. "Hey, Ana. What do you want?"
"Mommy, I think my ears are getting pointier. Could you check?" The half-drow gestured to her ears.
Nathyrra hid a smile and looked at her daughters ears. While she did this, AJ snuck into the kitchen. He tiptoed towards the counter, took the tin of cookies, and slipped out of the room.
"I think they are." Nathyrra stated.
Ana smiled. "Thanks, Mommy." She ran out of the room.
A few minutes later, the twins made their way up the stairs.
"Wow, it worked." An awed Ana said.
"I know what I'm doing." AJ replied.
The two weren't looking as they walked up the stairs and accidentally bumped into something. AJ looked up to see his mother, staring down at her children. She unfolded her arms and held out one of her hands.
AJ grudgingly handed over the tin. He shot her a defiant glare. "This isn't over! You have won the battle, but the war is not over!" He shouted.
"Go clean your room." Nathyrra said in a flat voice.
The twins walked towards their room.
"How does she do that?" Ana asked. "It's amazing, really."
"I don't know." AJ admitted. "But I'll figure it out. Then, I'll turn it against her."
Ana arched an eyebrow at her brother. He's so weird, she thought.
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Ano looked at Nathyrra. "How did you know that they had stolen all those cookies?"
"I'm was an assassin. It's my part of my job to know when things are amiss." Nathyrra informed him.
Ano turned the page.
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"Night, Mom. Night, Dad." AJ and Ana recited tiredly.
"Night." Nathyrra and Anotalex said in unison.
The two parents walked into their room. As they prepared to go to sleep, Ano decided to ask a question that he had been wondering for some time, "Nat?"
"Yes, Ano?" Nathyrra responded as she slid under the covers.
Ano slid next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Do you think…well…"
"What is it, Anotalex?"
"That we'll have anymore children?"
Nathyrra gave him a weak smile. "Ano, we have an extremely long life ahead of us. Due to your Bhaal taint and my elven heritage, each of us has almost a millennium left to live. I think we should let our current pair of hell-raisers grow up before we even consider having more."
Ano nodded a bit sadly, "I understand. That's a good idea."
Nathyrra kissed his cheek. "Twenty years. Then we'll discuss it more."
Ano grinned. "We can still do the activities required for childbirth. Right?"
Nathyrra smirked. "Of course." She pulled him towards her and pressed a kiss to his lips…
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The next morning, Nathyrra sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She smiled at her husband, who was still fast asleep. The drow walked into the privy.
A minute later Ano was woken by the sound of someone screaming, "SHIIIIT!"
The dragon disciple immediately got out of bed and cast a burning hands spell. He ran into the privy. "What is it!" he shouted, his eyes crimson.
Nathyrra was so pale that her face had turned from obsidian black to light grey. "I have lost…my birth control scroll."
Ano's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. "WHAT?"
"Stop shouting! Can't you see that I'm distressed enough as it is?" Nathyrra bellowed.
Ano's eyes turned back to there normal emerald green color. "Don't worry, Kitten. We'll find it."
"How can you say that? Do you have ANY idea how long it takes for me to order the damn things? By the time they come I'll be sitting around asking you if you want to hear the baby kicking!"
"Calm down, Kitten."
"Calm down? CALM DOWN? I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN I DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!"
There is no calming an angry female, Ano decided.
Nathyrra continued ranting, "How the HELL can you say something like that? You're not the one who could be-"
"Mommy?" A small voice said from the doorway.
Ano and Nathyrra looked up.
Ana stood in the entrance, her azure eyes wide with puzzlement and fear. "Are you okay?"
Nathyrra managed a small smile. "I-I'm alright. Don't worry about it, Ana."
Ana approached her mother and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist in an embrace. The seven-year-old did so with caution. She was well aware of how temperamental her mother could be, and had no wish to set her off again.
Nathyrra felt part of her anxiety and anger melt away, and knelt down to return the gesture.
After a few seconds, Ana broke away. She smiled and started to leave the room. The kid pulled a crumpled up scroll out of her pocket and started to play a one-person game of catch with it.
Nathyrra's jaw dropped as Ana stepped out of the room.
"Uh…you might wanna close your mouth before something starts nesting in it." Ano pointed out.
The drow ignored the jibe. "O-Our daughter has t-the scroll."
Ano winced. "I'll go and get it from her. You take this time to…err…compose yourself."
XXXXX
Ano walked into his daughter's room. Ana was sitting on the bed, practicing making her wings disappear. Ano had taught her to do so several years ago and she had decided that she—and AJ—liked to be wingless. When Ano asked why, she had told him that it was easier to fit through doors.
"Ana," Ano began, sitting down next to her.
The child gave her father a brilliant grin. "Yes, Daddy?"
"What happened to that scroll?"
Ana giggled. "I hid it."
"…What?"
"I hid it. Now you and Mommy have to find it if ya want it back." She walked out of the room, leaving her astonished father sitting on the bed.
XXXXX
Nathyrra crept into Ana's room. While Ano distracted her with a game, Nathyrra would find the scroll. First, she looked under the bed. Downstairs, Snuggles suddenly started barking. Nathyrra jumped with surprise and accidentally hit her head on the bed. "Damn it." She cursed and rubbed her aching head.
She could hear Ano answering the door. "Hey, Drak."
"Hey, Ano."
"DRAK!" The twins shouted gleefully.
Nathyrra scowled. She had forgotten that Drak was visiting today. He's going to have a field day with this one, she thought as she continued to search. She was unsuccessful in finding the scroll. She attempted to open another drawer. This one was locked.
Nathyrra attempted to open it. It remained locked. Nathyrra muttered several obscenities that insulted the drawer's mental abilities and sexual history with its mother, and once again tried to open it. The drawer refused to budge.
Nathyrra heard voices approaching. Thinking quickly, she crawled under the bed. She whispered a prayer of thanks to Eilistraee for her slim figure, and waited.
Ana, Drak—in his human form—and Ano walked into the room. Ana said, "It's just under the bed."
Shit, Nathyrra thought.
Ana walked over to the bed and bent down to look under. She blinked. "Mommy, what are you doing?"
"I thought the dog was the one who used to hide under the bed when company came." Drak drawled.
Nathyrra glared at him and pulled herself halfway out from under the bed. She looked at her daughter. "Ana, I really, REALLY need that scroll."
Ana smiled. "Okay."
"Where is it?" Nathyrra asked, trying not to sound impatient.
"In your room!" Ana said brightly.
"…What?"
"I hid it in Daddy's sock drawer."
Nathyrra was silent for several seconds.
"I'll go get it." Ana offered.
As soon as Ana left, Drak started roaring with laughter.
Nathyrra glared at him. "I'm glad you find it amusing."
"I find it far more than amusing. Though now, Ana's nickname, 'Daddy's Little Defect' is even more justified than ever."
Nathyrra ignored him, and left the room.
XXXXX
Ano chuckled. "At least now we can look back and laugh at it."
The look Nathyrra gave him was anything but amused. "I'm not laughing, Anotalex."
Ano shrugged. "AJ wasn't much better, if I recall."
XXXXX
AJ walked down the hall. He could distantly hear his parents' voices in the living room.
"You bitch!" An enraged Ano shouted.
"WHAT? You bastard!" Nathyrra shot back.
AJ walked into the room. "What does 'bitch' and 'bastard' mean?" the seven-year-old asked innocently.
Ano and Nathyrra's eyes widened.
"Err…it means 'ladies and gentlemen', Buddy." Ano said quickly.
AJ smiled. "Okay." He left the room.
Nathyrra sighed and turned towards Ano. "Tomorrow's Midwinter Eve. We shouldn't be fighting."
Ano smiled. "I'm sorry."
"I am too."
XXXXX
The next day, Ano was in the privy, shaving. AJ walked into the room.
Ano accidentally cut himself. "Shit!" he cried out as he reached for something to stop the blood flow.
"What does 'shit' mean?" AJ asked.
Ano's eyes bulged. "Uh…it means 'shaving cream'."
AJ nodded and left.
XXXXX
Nathyrra stood in the kitchen, cutting the turkey.
"Hi, Mom." AJ greeted as he walked in.
Nathyrra was surprised by his voice. The knife slipped and she accidentally cut the web between her thumb and index finger. "FUCK!" she shouted. The drow grabbed a rag off the counter.
"Mom, what does 'fuck' mean?"
Nathyrra froze. "Err...it means 'to cut a turkey'."
"Oh."
XXXXX
Five minutes later, the guests arrived. AJ opened the door to greet his relatives and the close friends of his parents. He gave them all a wide grin. "Hello, bitches and bastards. Sorry my parents aren't here. My dad's upstairs putting shit on his face and my mom's fucking the turkey, but they'll be here in a few minutes."
The guests looked at the boy in stunned silence.
Drak blinked. "All I never wanted to know about Nat and Ano…and so much more."
XXXXX
Ano winced. "That was mortifying."
Nathyrra nodded in agreement and turned the page.
XXXXX
"Hey, Sweetie." Nathyrra greeted as she walked into the room.
Ano looked up at her. "Hey, where were you? I know you said you were gonna be home late but it's two hours until midnight and you said that you were gonna be home an hour ago."
"I know. I got pulled over for speeding."
"Did you get a ticket?"
"No. I talked the officer out of it." Nathyrra said, wearing a smug grin.
Ano scowled.
Nathyrra smiled and smoothed back Ano's hair. "All I did was speak to him. Nothing else." she assured him.
"It's not that." Ano said, frowning. "I just think it's really unfair that you can get out of getting a ticket by pouting and flirting. If I ever tried that, I would get arrested."
Nathyrra chuckled before bending down to kiss him.
XXXXX
Later that night, Ano sat up. His eyelids were half-closed, and he slowly dragged himself out of bed. If anyone had seen him from afar, they would have believed him to be awake. In truth, Ano was still asleep. He walked out of the room.
XXXXX
Later that night—around three hours past midnight—Nathyrra suddenly woke up. She rolled over to see that her husband was not there. The drow blinked in surprise. Where is he, she wondered. Perhaps he's in the privy. She waited for half an hour for him to come back, but he did not. After awhile, she fell asleep.
XXXXX
Nathyrra's eyes fluttered open. She checked the time and saw that it was seven hours past midnight. The twins won't be up yet, she thought. The drow looked over her shoulder and saw that her husband was still absent.
A bit confused, Nathyrra got up. A few minutes later, she finished getting dressed, brushing her teeth, combing her hair, etc, and walked out of the room.
When Nathyrra entered the kitchen, she saw Ano. His head rested on the kitchen table as he rested. Was he here all night? Nathyrra wondered, noting that he wore only a pair of pajama pants.
"Ano." The drow whispered, poking him in the shoulder.
He slowly opened his eyes. "Huh?" He asked dumbly.
"Where were you last night?" Nathyrra asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"I woke up and you weren't there." She quirked an eyebrow. "Care to explain what you were doing at three hours past midnight?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't lie to me, Anotalex."
"I'm not lying!"
Nathyrra studied him for a long moment, her eyes calculating. "You are telling the truth."
"No, but I remember…" He suddenly smiled. "Just a minute."
Nathyrra gave him a quizzical look as he walked over to the counter. "What are you doing?"
"I remember having this in my hand." Ano held up a scarlet rose. "I must have gotten it for you." The dragon disciple handed it to his wife.
Nathyrra smiled despite herself. "You don't have to go out at three hours past midnight to get me roses. You could go any time that I'm at work."
"That's the thing; I wouldn't." Ano's eyes widened. "No! Not that I wouldn't buy you roses, I probably just wouldn't at three hours past midnight. I mean, it's a good idea. Why wouldn't I buy you roses? You're my wife; I'm supposed to buy you roses. And-"
He was silenced by Nathyrra pressing a finger to his lips. She smiled. "I understand, Ano. I appreciate the gesture."
Ano breathed a sigh of relief.
Nathyrra chuckled at his momentary anxiety and pressed a kiss to his lips.
XXXXX
The next morning—at three hours past midnight—Nathyrra once again woke. Anotalex was not there.
XXXXX
"Where were you?" Nathyrra asked later, once again finding her husband asleep on the table.
Ano lifted his head. "Huh?"
"You left again."
"Oh. That explains this." He held up a purple rose and another red rose.
Nathyrra took them, feeling half-flattered and half-puzzled.
XXXXX
Over the next several days, Ano continued to leave during the night and Nathyrra continued to receive roses. She and her daughter sat at the kitchen table, surrounded by dozens of roses.
Ana held up a red rose. "Red symbolizes true love." The eight-year recited. "Purple basically means 'I will always love you'. Lavender stands for love at first sight. Burgundy means unconscious beauty. Lilac means the first emotions of love. Blue symbolizes fantasies and miracles. Orange represents desire and enthusiasm and pretty much says 'I'm proud of you!' Coral means desire. Pink means that Daddy has sweet thoughts about you. White means a love stronger than death. Yellow means pure joy. Pastel means friendship. Hybrid tea says that he'll remember you always. All these together definitely mean that Daddy really, REALLY loves you."
Nathyrra blinked. "How do you know all this?"
"I looked it up."
Nathyrra ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't understand why your father won't just admit that he's done all this for me. I'm flattered, but it's quite obvious that all this going out at night is taking a toll on him. I caught him asleep on his desk three times today."
Ano walked into the room. His emerald green eyes had a glazed over look and he was swaying slightly. "Going. Store. Back. Grapefruit. Walrus." He turned around and accidentally knocked into his son. "Sorry, Faeryl." He muttered before leaving.
AJ raised an eyebrow. "Who the heck is Faeryl?"
Nathyrra shook her head. "Never mind that."
"Did what Dad said even make sense?" Anathyrra asked.
"No." Nathyrra replied.
"So what are you gonna do about Dad?"
"I have a plan."
XXXXX
That night, Nathyrra tied the end of a two meter string around her ankle and the other end around Ano's ankle. He barely even noticed as she did so, and fell asleep immediately.
A few hours later, Nathyrra felt a tug on her ankle. She opened her eyes just as Ano started walking towards the door, which caused Nathyrra to be pulled off the bed.
"ARGH! What are you doing? You stupid male!" Nathyrra shouted as she was dragged across the floor.
Ana and AJ walked out of their room. AJ was the first to speak, "Mom, what are you doing?"
"Being dragged across the floor by your father." she replied in a flat voice.
"I think Daddy's been sleepwalking." Ana stated.
Nathyrra used her magic to cut the string. She stood up and watched as Anotalex walked out the door. "Let's follow him."
"Mom."
"Yes, AJ?"
"…You're in your underwear."
"It's dark. No one will see."
"What? Whenever I wanna walk around in my underwear you always tell me to put clothes on!"
"That's because you always want to walk around in your underwear when we have company over." Nathyrra shook her head. "We don't have time for this. Let's go."
The three stepped outside. Ano walked down the street, occasionally waving to people that weren't there. The man eventually stopped in front of a flower shop and walked inside.
"So this is where he's been going." Nathyrra murmured.
"Why do you think he started?" Ana asked.
"I don't know, but I have a scroll that can fix it." Nathyrra looked at the twins. "Wait here. I'm going to get your father."
XXXXX
"Hello, Sir. What can I do for you?" The florist asked. The man was a bit curious as to why this dragon disciple was here so late at night, but didn't press the matter.
The disciple muttered something indistinct.
The florist gave him a confused look. "I'm sorry. Could you repeat that please?"
At that moment, a drow female walked into the store. His expression turned from surprise to admiration. She was beautiful, and she was in her underwear.
"Wake up, Sweetie." She said to the disciple, giving his arm a light tug.
The man blinked, his emerald green eyes becoming more focused. He gave the drow a puzzled look. "Nat? What are we doing here? What time is it? I thought…" He paused. "And why are you in your underwear?"
"I'll explain everything later. The twins are outside." She took his hand and led him towards the door.
The florist's eyes followed the woman as she left. Her husband noticed and shot him a warning glare.
XXXXX
The next morning, the entire family sat at the kitchen table. Ano looked at Nathyrra as she sat down. "Are you sure the scroll will work?"
"I'm positive. And even it doesn't, I have a special present that will help you sleep, but I'll give it to you tonight." She winked at him.
Ano's eyes widened. "Special present? I don't wanna wait! Come on, I've been giving you roses all week! I want the present right now; I want the kids to see!"
Nathyrra stared at him in utter shock.
Ano blinked in realization. "Oh…right. I'll wait." He winked at her as well.
XXXXX
Nathyrra glared at Ano. "You are incredibly dense at times."
"It's not my fault. It's genetic." Ano turned the page.
XXXXX
Ano entered the building. Joragin and a human Drak waved at him from the bar. Ano sat down and ordered a drink. "Shadowdark Ale, please."
"In a fight with Nat?" Drak asked.
"How did you know?"
"You always drink that when she's pissed at you. Or PMSing." Drak responded.
"What happened?" Joragin asked.
Ano sighed. "The kids are spending the night at a friend's house. We decided that we'd…uh…"
"Have craz,y wild sex?" Drak suggested.
"Yeah. But, we somehow got into a fight. I said some things…and she kicked me out. Now I need to figure out how to fix it."
Drak sighed.
"What?"
"You see, Ano, you married an unbelievably bossy and spirited woman. In case you haven't noticed, she bosses you around like a servant AND kicks you out like a lapdog. You gotta show her who's boss. Women will never admit it, but they like to be controlled. You need to take her behind that bedroom door and show her who's in charge. This is no time to be a gentleman."
"He's right, Ano." Joragin pointed out. "I got tough with Shar once. I came home the next night and she was wearing nothing but a plastic wrap bikini. Of course, now I can't look at sandwiches the same way…" (AM: Quote from Cheers. Go Norm.)
"But-"
"But what? Quit being a wuss. You've faced worse than her and lived. She's just one woman. Stand up to her, dude!"
Ano put on a fierce grin. "You're right." He stood up and strode proudly out the door.
"You think it'll work?" Joragin asked.
"Please. Nat's gonna eat him alive." Drak said matter-of-factly. He then grinned. "It'll be great."
XXXXX
Ano pounded on the door. "Nathyrra!"
"Go away, Anotalex!" She shouted.
"If you don't let me in, I'll break down this door!"
"Leave me the HELL alone!"
"I warned you!" Ano took a stepped back and rammed into the door. It took him several tries, but he managed to break through the door. Nathyrra stared at him in complete astonishment. "I said-"
Ano grabbed her wrists and pressed a forceful kiss to her mouth. After a few seconds he locked his crimson eyes with her own thunderstruck blue. "I don't care what you said. We're going to forget about our fight, and we're going to do what we planning to do." He swept her off her feet and carried her up the stairs, putting her down when he reached their room. "Go inside, woman." He commanded.
A foolish grin curled her lips. "Okay." She said in a slightly ditzy voice. Holy shit it's working, Ano thought with amazement.
"Just give me a few minutes to slip into something more comfortable." Nathyrra purred.
Ano nodded.
Nathyrra walked into the room and shut the door. Ano could hear voices from within. "Who are you talking to?" He demanded.
"No one." Several minutes later, Nathyrra stepped out wearing the same pair of jeans and red, sleeveless shirt she had been wearing.
Ano gave her a confused look. "I thought you said that you were gonna slip into something more comfortable!"
"Oh I know. I didn't have time. I had to call the militia, after all. Do want some coffee?" She pushed past him walked down the stairs.
Ano ran after her, shocked. "WHAT? Why the hell did you call the militia?"
"Breaking and entering, threatening, etc. Do you want cream or sugar?"
Ano walked into the common room and sat down on the couch, a helpless expression on his face. Nathyrra walked in with two coffee cups and placed them on the coffee table.
"First of all, it's both our houses. Second of all, I wasn't threatening you!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "You're a nightmare! I can't please you, I can't win against you. What am I supposed to do?"
Nathyrra sat down next to her husband and locked her fingers with his. "Now do you understand that behaving like that will do no good for you?"
Ano sighed. "I'm sorry."
Nathyrra grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I rather liked being carried though."
Ano picked her up, giving her a wry smile. "You've made my life a living hell."
"Consider it my gift to you. You know, it wasn't easy to make you think that I had called the militia."
"…You didn't really call?"
"I didn't really call."
Ano gaped at her. "You little-" He was cut off by Nathyrra pressing a kiss to his lips. "Let's go upstairs, Ano."
He started walking towards their room…
XXXXX
Nathyrra looked at the next year. "The pictures from my birthday. Don't think I haven't forgotten that poem." she glared at Ano.
He grinned back at her.
XXXXX
"Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin singing 'Happy Birthday' I'd like to recite this poem for my wife." Ano stated as he stood on the stage.
Nathyrra's eyes bulged. "Oh gods no."
Ano cleared his throat.
She's the prettiest woman I've seen
I adore her, my wonderful queen
I love how she hates her nickname, Kitten
She probably hates this poem that I've written
I love her smile
To find her, I'd run a mile
I love her wit
Even though she gives me shit
When's she's embarrassed, she turns as red as a beet
Gods bless the ground beneath her feet
I love how cute she is when she's mad
And how wonderful I feel when she's glad
I love to do whatever she fancies
She occasionally lets me dance around in her panties
I love how lucky I am
To have someone like her
I love you, Nat
Count on that
The guests clapped, looking at Nathyrra. She wasn't sure whether to kiss Ano or kill him. The drow folded her arms and shook her head, smiling slightly.
Drak flew up to her and perched on her shoulder. "…Do you really let him dance around in your panties? How the hell does he even fit in those?"
"Shut up, Drak."
XXXXX
Ano flipped the page to the twins' eleven-year-old photos.
XXXXX
AJ sat on the playground, eating a sandwich. Resotyr sat next to him, drinking a juice box. Behind him, stood Terrence Blueshield. AJ could distantly hear him talking.
"…Derlyn, that little half-breed."
AJ immediately snapped to attention.
"Little bastard son of a traitor and a drow whore. I can't believe that his dad actually would sleep with a hideous creature like a drow. But then again, that lunatic did kill his own dad, so he knows what else he's done."
"But Terrence, isn't Anotalex Derlyn redeemed?" Another boy asked.
AJ gritted his teeth.
"Let it go, AJ." Res pleaded.
"Yeah right. What decent human would marry a drow? Although, AJ may be a winged freak, but his sister is HOT. Love to see her naked."
That was the final straw. AJ walked over to the boy. "You wanna say that to my face, Terrence?" He asked angrily.
Terrence gave him cruel grin. "You're a half-breed bastard."
AJ snarled and shoved him. Terrence, being at least a foot taller, barely even budged. AJ threw a punch at him. Terrence dodged and threw a punch at AJ. It hit the boy in the jaw, sending him to the ground. Terrence looked at him with disgust and started to turn around.
"Where are you going?" AJ spat, shakily standing up.
Terrence looked at him, confused.
"Hit me again. I ain't dead yet." AJ declared, his blue eyes smoldering.
Terrence grinned and walked towards him.
XXXXX
Ano picked up the letters and began sorting through the mail. "Death threat. Death threat. Death threat. You have won. Death threat. Death threat. Letter from Aribeth. Death threat. Death threat." He looked up. "Nat! We got another death threat from the followers of Lolth!"
"Oh. Send them a fruit basket!" She called from the kitchen.
The wisp suddenly started buzzing. Ano couldn't make out what Nathyrra was saying. A few minutes later, Nathyrra walked into the room. "AJ got into a fight today."
Ano sighed. "I'll get my coat."
XXXXX
An hour later, they returned home with AJ. Their son was covered in bruises and badly beaten.
"I'll get a healing kit." Nathyrra stated as she walked out the room.
Ano gave AJ a weak smile. "You win?"
"No." AJ said bitterly.
"Well, we can't win 'em all."
"Dad."
"Yeah?"
"I want you teach me how to fight. I know you've been teaching me to use a sword, but I wanna learn how to fight with my fists. I wanna be able to defend myself."
Ano looked uneasy. Seeing this, AJ said, "Come on, Dad. I need to know how. I just wanna be able to defend myself."
"Alright, but on two conditions. One, no telling your mother. We had planned to teach you this when you turned thirteen. And two," His emerald green eyes bore into AJ's blue. "Promise me that you will fight only for good. In self-defense, or the defense of someone else. It'd break my heart if you became a ruthless killer."
"I promise."
"Good. We'll start tomorrow."
XXXXX
The next morning, Ano quietly snuck out of his room and into AJ's. "Wake up, Buddy." The dragon disciple gently shook him.
AJ groaned. "What time is it?"
"Four hours past midnight. Now get up. We only have three hours before your mother wakes up."
"Fine."
Ano lead AJ into the combat room of the house. AJ had been in the room many times before, but this time was different. This time, he would learn to fight without a weapon.
Ano motioned for him to come nearer. "First thing's first. We're going to learn the stances." He went into an offensive pose and bade AJ to copy him. After a number of tries, AJ perfected most of the stances his father had taught him. Ano smiled with pride. His son was a natural fighter—though he had lost to Terrence—as well as a quick learner. The disciple also saw that whatever his son lacked in strength, he made up in speed. Just like his mother, Ano thought as AJ performed a basic pattern dance.
"That's all we'll do for today." He commanded.
XXXXX
Three days later, Ano and AJ stood in front of a combat dummy. "Do as I do." Ano threw a right hook at the dummy before slamming his knee into the torso. AJ copied him. "OW!" he cried out, not realizing how hard the dummy actually was.
"Keep practicing. You'll build up calluses on your hands which soften the impact."
AJ nodded.
XXXXX
Two months passed. Ano had already started to show him some of the more advanced moves. Everyday Ano became prouder of his son. He was already a decent fighter, and could hold his own against a much larger opponent.
"That's all for today." Ano ordered.
"Dad, I wanna try fighting you sometime."
"Don't be foolish. I'm far more experienced and you're not ready to fight me. In a few years, you will be."
"Fine."
Later that night, Ano heard a crash. He blinked. "Must be a burglar."
"Ano…"
"I'm going." Ano said tiredly and stood up.
"Wake up, Sweetie. You're sloppy when you're tired. Also, don't break anything." Nathyrra said.
"I know. I know." He walked out of the room and Nathyrra closed her eyes.
A man wearing a black mask and hood stood in the living room. He reached towards a candlestick.
"Ya know I bought that for my wife last Midwinter." Ano said casually.
The man spun around and gasped with shock at the 6'7" dragon disciple that stood behind him. "Holy-"
Quick as a flash, Ano grabbed the man's throat and lifted him into the air. "Quiet please. My wife has to work tomorrow." Ano whispered. He switched his grip to the back of the thief's shirt and carried him out of the room.
"AJ, wake up." Ano commanded, gently shaking his son with one hand, holding the thief with the other.
AJ woke up. "Burglar?" The elven-year-old asked, gesturing to the man.
Ano nodded. "Let's go into the kitchen."
When they reached the kitchen, Ano dropped the man on the floor.
The thief stood up and brushed himself off. "Are you gonna call the militia?"
"Naw, I'm not really a militia kind of guy. I'm gonna give you a choice." He gestured to AJ. "You can fight my son…or me. Take your pick."
"You want to fight a ten-year-old?" the thief asked incredulously.
"Eleven!" snapped AJ.
"You heard me. Take your pick." Ano stated.
"Your son then." The thief said.
Ano smiled. "Have fun, Buddy."
AJ snarled and tackled the thief to the ground. Shocked by the ferocity of the child, the thief barely even managed to block his attacks. Ano watched with mild amusement as his son beat the thief.
Ana walked into the kitchen, just in time to see AJ jump on the thief's back. "Thief?"
"Yep. I'm letting AJ fight him for practice. Don't tell your mother that I've been teaching him how to fight for the last two months."
"Two months? Mom's been teaching me since I was four."
"She has?"
"Yeah." Ana walked towards the pantry. "Can I have a cookie?"
Her father shrugged. "Sure."
XXXXX
Several weeks later, Ano and Nathyrra received another wisp call. When they arrived at the school, they saw that AJ was unscathed. Ano smiled. AJ smiled back.
Nathyrra arched an eyebrow at Ano, her expression saying volumes of 'I know what you've been doing.'
Ano merely grinned.
XXXXX
Nathyrra smiled at the next page. "That's the year Pliac was born."
"Yep."
XXXXX
Sharwyn carried Pliac into the room and placed him in his crib. "Do you want me to sing you a lullaby, honey?" she cooed.
"Do I ever wish to hear your nauseating voice perform the art of singing?" Pliac snapped. "But if you must exercise your pathetic talents, please sing this." He handed her a piece of paper.
Sharwyn smiled. "You want Mommy to sing this? Sure thing." She cleared her throat and began to sing.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
I'm gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't tweet,
I'll break that stupid birdie's feet
And if that diamond ring turn brass,
I'll kick that jeweler's sorry ass.
And if that looking glass gets broke,
I'll make the dumb shopkeeper choke
And if that Billy goat don't pull,
I'm gonna shove it's face in bull.
And if that cart and bull overturn,
I'll send them to the hells to burn
And if that dog named Rover won't bark,
I'll kill him when it's night and dark
And if that horse and cart fall down,
I'll kick his corpse out of the town
By the time she finished, Pliac was fast asleep. Joragin blinked from the doorway. "That's a bit of an odd song."
"Yes, but he wanted me to sing it." Sharwyn bent down and kissed Pliac's forehead before standing up to leave.
"Don't I get a kiss?" Joragin asked mock-indignantly.
Sharwyn chuckled and pressed a kiss to his lips.
"Loathsome wretches." Pliac muttered in his sleep.
XXXXX
Ano grinned. "Remember Pliac's birthday the next year?"
XXXXX
Pliac scowled as Sharwyn placed the cake in the backyard. "Matriarchal imbecile. What fool would desire such an idiotic celebration on the day of their creation…I just said a rhyme…DAMN IT TO HELL! "
"Jor! Did you get a hold of that petting zoo yet?" Sharwyn called.
"Not yet, Shar!" Joragin replied.
Pliac sighed. "That's it. I will take my leave now." The young child walked around to the front of the house.
"Hey kid!" A voice called.
Pliac stopped. "What the hell was that?"
"Come here!"
Pliac looked over in the direction of the voice. It was coming from the sewer drain. Pliac walked over to the drain.
A white-faced, red-haired clown grinned at him. "Hey there kid, what's your name?"
"What's yours? Ronald?" Pliac taunted.
"It's Pennywise. What's yours?"
"I feel absolutely no incentive to give you that information."
"Come on, I just wanna know your name."
"If you must be informed, it's Pliac. Now leave me be!"
Do you want a balloon? I've got red and green and yellow and blue..."
"My favorite color is black, cretin."
"Well…I can make black."
"Is it filled with all the deadly venom of a poisonous arachnid?"
"…No, but it floats."
"What makes you think I am interested in such a mediocre fact?"
"You're a kid. Kids love balloons that float!" The clown said desperately.
"I don't care, Pennywuss.."
"It's Pennywise, you little bastard!"
"That's it. I am no longer to sully myself with your repugnant company." Pliac turned around.
Pennywise reached out and grabbed his arm. "They float. And when you're down here with me, Georgie, you'll float too."
"My name is Pliac! Not Georgie, you mentally challenged entertainer! I've seen harlots who wear less makeup than you! What grotesque feature are you trying to deemphasize with all of that hideous covering?"
"That's it!" Pennywise opened his mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth. He leaned towards Pliac's arm.
The child's hand glowed with a prepared spell. "You may wish to rethink your current course of action."
Pennywise's eyes widened. Oh shit, he thought. The clown immediately let go of Pliac's arm. "I'll just be going now."
Pliac smiled cruelly. "Excellent. Leave now before I change my mind about sparing you my wrath."
The clown disappeared back into the sewers.
"Victory is mine." Pliac said, grinning.
"There you are!" Sharwyn cried. She picked up the boy. "It's almost time to sing Happy Birthday."
"Blast! Damn you, woman." Pliac hissed.
"I love you too." Sharwyn hugged him.
XXXXX
Nathyrra turned the page once more.
XXXXX
Nathyrra walked into the kitchen. She sighed. Dammit. Ana forgot her lunch. She checked the time. I suppose I can drop it off. The drow grabbed the paper bag.
XXXXX
"So anyway, those ice-cream carriages are a conspiracy. The music the drivers play has subliminal messages, encouraging young children to buy their ice-cream at any cost, no matter how outrageous it may be." AJ stated.
"You're on crack, aren't you?" Ana asked in a flat voice.
"No, I'm not. By the way, Mom is standing at the door."
Ana turned around. Her mother stood in the doorway of the classroom. Ana stood up and walked over to her. "What are you doing here?"
Nathyrra handed the fourteen-year-old her lunch.
"Oh. Thanks, Mom."
"No problem, Ana. Your father will pick you up after school." Nathyrra said before leaving.
Ana walked over to her desk. Three of her classmates—Oliver, Pete, and Wayne—were staring at her.
"What?" Ana asked.
"Holy crap, your Mom's hot." Wayne said in awed wonder.
"Uh…thanks…I guess." Ana said uneasily.
"You should forget your lunch more often. I mean there's hot, but then there's hot. And your Mom is definitely the latter. I mean…WOW." Pete said, grinning.
"Yeah but I don't think my 6'7" war veteran father would be too pleased by me forgetting my lunch." Ana said, smiling as well.
Pete's eyes widened and his smiled slipped.
"Ana's Mom, has got it goin' on. She's all I've wanted, and I've waited so long." Oliver sang. "Ana can't you see-"
Ana punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow." Oliver muttered, rubbing his shoulder.
XXXXX
"How was school, Ana?" Nathyrra asked several hours later.
"Well, you made a lasting impression on my male classmates."
"Oh?"
"They all think you're the hottest thing they've ever seen."
"Punks." Ano spat.
"Ano, be quiet." Nathyrra commanded.
"So if we start getting wisp calls where no one's on the other line, it's probably one of the guys, wanting to hear your voice, Mom."
Nathyrra raised an eyebrow. "Alright then."
Ana left the room.
Ano wore a disgruntled scowl and mumbled something incomprehensible.
Nathyrra looked at him. "Don't tell me that you're feeling competitive with a bunch of teenage boys."
"Well, how would you like it if a bunch of Ana's female classmates starting getting crushes on me?"
"I wouldn't care, Anotalex." She grinned and sat down next to him. "I know that you're mine." The drow pressed a kiss to her husband's lips.
Ano grinned. "I feel so loved." He kissed Nathyrra.
XXXXX
"Now that I think of it, when was the last time I did this?" Ano leaned towards Nathyrra and gave her a kiss.
Nathyrra smiled. "A few minutes ago."
"Well good. If I don't do that at least twenty times a day, I feel empty inside." The dragon disciple said, winking at her.
Nathyrra chuckled and flipped the page.
XXXXX
"So, did you figure it out, Res?" AJ asked.
Res leaned over in his desk. "Almost."
"Well-"
"Mr. Derlyn," an annoyed Ms. Townsend began, "Would you like to share what you did this summer with the class?"
AJ smiled. "Certainly, Ma'am." The fifteen-year-old cleared his throat. "Well, I fornicated with a bisexual, but then his girlfriend walked in on us just when it was getting good. Naturally, she kicked the living crap out of me and sent me running for life, naked and speeding down the street. I had really connected with him that night, and I wanted him back. So, I performed several animal ritualistic slaughters, sacrificed cheerleaders and small chipmunks to Mephistopheles, and held several orgies and drug conventions, but it was decapitating the voodoo doll of his girlfriend that eventually worked. I was the only one who could comfort him during the troubled time that his headless girlfriend was rotting in a grave. We ended up having wild, passionate, homosexual love-making and I danced around in his girlfriend's thong to make him feel better. Things didn't work out, but we're still friends."
The class smirked at Ms. Townsend's appalled face.
XXXXX
Anotalex and Nathyrra sat in the principal's office. Anotalex glared at AJ as he walked into the room. "What did you do?"
AJ shrugged. "I was just expressing myself creatively."
Nathyrra sighed.
XXXXX
Ano scowled. "That was nothing compared to what he did the next year."
"Yep."
XXXXX
AJ and Tamorlyn stood behind the field stadium.
"Are you sure about this?" Tam asked.
"Of course I am. I wanna go out with Daniel and she'll only go out with me if I find a date for her twin, Tanya. You'll go out with Tanya. But in order to get their attention, we're going to dazzle them. Plus, I already paid the school band leader."
Tamorlyn sighed. "Why am I doing this?"
"Because we're family. Now come on, Tam." The sixteen-year-olds climbed to the top of the bleachers.
Meanwhile, Daniel and Tanya walked over to Ana. Daniel spoke, "Hey, Ana, what was that assignment in Mr. Druis's class?"
"Yeah, we have to—oh gods no."
"What?" Tanya asked.
Ana pointed behind them.
AJ grinned and gave the band the signal to start playing. He and Tamorlyn began to sing.
When I was young
I fell in love
She was a goddess
With a world inside of her mind
When she moved on
Something went wrong
She took my power
And the love I had inside
Now that I found you
I don't know how to
The three girls stared at them in utter shock. AJ grinned at Daniel as Tamorlyn grinned at Tanya. They continued to sing.
If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you
If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl I would
I pray in time
I'll come to find
Away to break through
And save this heart of mine
You've waited long
If you can't hold on
I wouldn't blame you
I don't think I'd be that strong
What am I to do
If I can't have you
What did I do to deserve a brother like him? Oh good, here comes security, Ana thought.
Tamorlyn and Anotalex Junior jumped from bleacher to bleacher and easily avoided the security guards.
If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you
If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl I would
You love me so
Even though I don't know
How do you deal
With a man like me
If I could fall
In love again
I'd fall in love with you
If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl I would
I would, I would, I would
As soon as he finished singing, AJ shouted, "Will you go out with me, Daniel?" He and Tamorlyn ran out of the stadium.
Ana buried her face in her hands for several seconds before looking up. "Daniel, I am so sorry."
"For what? I'm flattered." Daniel pulled out a slip of paper. "Could you give me your brother's wisp number?"
"Who was the guy that was with him?" Tanya asked.
"My cousin, Tamorlyn." Ana responded.
"Could you give me his number?" Tanya asked.
Ana sighed and began to recite the numbers.
XXXXX
"It's a shame things didn't work out." Nathyrra commented.
"Yeah. Then there was that thing with Delilah the next year."
XXXXX
Anathyrra and Delilah sat next to the lake. It was a hot, summer day and they had both decided to go to the village lake rather than stay at Ana's house.
"I still can't believe Sampson said Hailey was hot." Del grumbled.
"Well, you asked him to be honest."
"Yeah, but he was supposed to agree with me and say that she wasn't!"
A young boy accidentally threw his dodge ball over by Ana. She bent down and threw it back to him, not noticing that he was looking down her swimsuit.
"Well, you can't always get your way, Del."
The boy returned again. Ana once again bent down and gave it back to him.
"I know that. He should have agreed with me, though."
This time, the boy brought two friends with him. Ana bent down, and suddenly realized why they kept coming back. The angry half-drow stood up. "Have a good look, you little perv?" Ana grabbed his arm. She dragged him to the edge of the lake and pushed him into the cold water.
His friends ran over to him. "Dude, she touched you! How was it?"
"A-A-Awe-s-s-ome." He said through chattering teeth.
Delilah chuckled as the seething Ana sat back down. "I think I'll talk to your mom about this. She's an expert on female dominance."
Ana shrugged. "Suit yourself."
XXXXX
"Aunt Nat, can I talk to you?" Delilah asked when she and Ana returned home.
Nathyrra smiled. "Of course, Del. What is it?"
"Well, I asked Sampson if he honestly thought my friend Hailey was hot and he said yes. I'm mad at him and I want him to agree with me."
"The world doesn't revolve around you, Del."
"Well HIS world should."
Nathyrra shook her head. "I've met Sampson before. You picked a strong man, Del. It takes time, but eventually they'll just get tired and stop arguing with you. For now however, you should pick battles that you CAN win."
Ano entered the room. He obtained a mug of beer and started to leave.
"Watch this." Nathyrra looked at her husband. "Ano!"
He turned around. "Yeah, Kitten?"
"Will you go to the store and get me some coffee? We've run out."
He looked at the beer. "But it'll turn warm in the time it'll take me to go!" the dragon disciple whined.
"Ano…" She gave him a pleading, pitiful, and pouting look.
He sighed. "Damn." Ano put down his beer and grabbed the keys to the carriage.
Delilah stared at her aunt, stunned. "That was amazing! How did you do that?"
"Years of practice. Now then, why don't you invite that boyfriend of yours over tomorrow and try it out."
XXXXX
"Okay, Sampson, I'm gonna give you one last chance to agree with me." Delilah said the next day.
"I told you, Del. I think she's hot. You wanted me to be honest. Don't know what you're so worked up about." The tall teen ate another spoonful of ice cream.
"Fine. I don't care anymore." Del looked over at Nathyrra. The drow nodded.
Delilah looked at Sampson. "Sammy, will you go to the store and get me a 'Teen Bard' magazine?"
He looked at his ice ream. "But it's gonna melt!" He cried.
"Sampson…" She stuck out her lower lip in a pouting expression.
The teen sighed. "Damn." He put down his ice cream and walked out the door.
Del grinned. "It worked! Thanks, Aunt Nat!"
"No problem, Del."
XXXXX
Nathyrra and Anotalex stood in front of their children. They all hugged each other.
"See you all next summer." AJ said.
Ana nodded. "We'll miss you."
The twins both got into a carriage. The academies were only five minutes away from each other, so they would take the six-hour drive together.
Nathyrra and Anotalex waved as they left. Eighteen years had been devoted to raising them, and both parents knew that their children would do incredible things. They watched the carriage fade into the distance, the beginning of the twins' own spectacular adventures.
AM: No, this series is not over. I have plans for a kotor II crossover, a Linu romance that takes place during that crossover, and an NWN 2 story with Del, Tam, and possibly Pliac. :D