Future Found in Dreams
As the sun rose on November 1st the cries of mourning could be heard. Students gathered together for support and comfort. Many were scared, many were injured and many were dead. Not sure of what to do to help Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Luna surrounded Ron as he held a grieving Ginny in his arms. Her tears had yet to cease and she refused to leave Dean's body. The Weasleys sent word to Charlie hoping that once again he could perform another miracle and reach her, where ever her mind had retreated to. "Ginny, please eat something," Mrs. Weasley begged still receiving no reaction from her baby girl. So they continued to take turns holding her and comforting her. Sleep finally began to take Ron as he passed her to Bill who gently took his place rocking his sister in his arms. "I'm headed to the dorm; I'll come back as soon as I can." He hugged his parents as he turned towards the door. Harry and Hermione fell into step behind him. "Alright mate?"
"Tired…you know she hasn't acted like this since the Chamber." Harry and Hermione shared worried glances behind him as he walked. "She never would tell me what happened. I guess she didn't trust me to be able to help her, I guess she was right. I can't."
"Ron…you are doing everything for her you can. She's just been thru a very traumatic experience. She will come around. She's a Weasley and you have more strength than any family I know. You all will help her, I know it. Just give her time, she loves you and will talk about it when she is ready."
"If she knew what I did she probably wouldn't feel that same about me?"
"What are you on about Ron?" Harry asked curious and cautiously.
Ron sighed deeply, "I guess you'll eventually find out anyways. I'm probably going to be carted off to Azkaban any day now. I…IusedanforgivableonMalfoy." He wouldn't look at his friends faces afraid of the hate he was sure to find there.
"Is that all? That's what you are worried about?" Ron and Hermione both shot there heads up at Harry's nonchalant manner. "Hell I'm not there and people are dying to get me carted off. Don't sweat it mate. It's a war; you did what you had to do to defend yourself. Besides, brooding is my gig, funny is yours." Time seemed to stand still as the trio stared at each other. It was only when Hermione started laughing that silence was broken. "Hermione? Hermione? What is so funny" she couldn't help it. She just kept laughing and soon the three friends stood in the corridor laughing at nothing and laughing at everything. They knew it seemed wrong but the tension was there, and for now this was their release. Grief and pain did that sometimes, it found unusual outlets to clear your soul.
It was almost a day later when the group awoke from their restless sleep. Ron showered and returned to his rightful place with his family and took his sister back into his arms. Hermione and Harry leaned against their favorite tree by the lake. Not saying much but letting the silence say it all. Dumbledore had spoken to the student body like he had done after Cedric's death, the halls were lined in black, Dean's family were on their way, students still cried for the lost and injured and some screamed in terror during the dead of night. Many students were still giving their view on the events in Hogsmeade to the Ministry. As the wind blew against their skin Hermione slowly and shakily began to talk to Harry. "I took a life Harry. A human life…I feel so…vile. We can never go back can we? This is what Mrs. Weasley was worried about wasn't it? Us…losing our selves to the darkness of war." Harry wrapped his arms tighter around her small frame. They both seemed much frailer having not slept well or eaten in a couple of days. "I…I don't know how you can still look at me. I close my eyes and immediately see the blood on my hands. I can't get rid of the image; it haunts me even as I am awake. How? How do we go on from this and still find happiness to live for?" Harry took deep breaths.
"I am not sure Mi. I tell myself I did it for the good, to keep people safe. But I know in my mind that I took one step closer to becoming…him."
"Harry, please don't talk like that. You are not him…you can never be him. You love too much to become…that."
"He said that to me in the Chamber." Seeing her confusion he told her about his conversation with the young Tom Riddle. "He said there strange likenesses between us…both half-bloods, both orphans raised by muggles, even our looks. Now…now we have both cast unforgivables and taken lives." Tears stung his eyes, fear filled his heart afraid that this would be the time that Hermione could not forgive him or understand. This would be the time she left. He waited with baited breaths as the silence surrounded his revelation. Slowly she turned to face him. Here it comes, this is when she tells me it is all too much and not worth it.
"Harry that all may be true but you are forgetting what makes you so different than him…so much more than him…you feel the guilt and the sadness. You feel badly for those you have hurt even when they are your enemy…and you have love and forgiveness. I love you Harry James Potter. I have loved you since I was 11 years old and I am going to love you until I take my last breath. And even then I will find a way to still love you no matter where the afterlife takes me. This is what keeps you different. This is what makes you…you. This is what makes you the man I love. The man I would give my life for."
Weakly and shaking his voice interrupted her, "Mi…pl-please don't. P-please stop." He took a breath trying to gain his confidence to speak. "I don't want you to give your life for me, I want you to be my life…I-I c-couldn't do this with out you." He had his hands on the sides of her face and his fingers grabbed handfuls of her hair as if holding on for dear life. "You are the only reason I keep going, you're the reason I fight to breathe everyday…don't leave me, please I am begging you to not leave me." His cries became his chant as he begged and held onto her as if he were dying as the tears flowed from both of their eyes. This is the time they granted themselves. This moment of pleading and forgiving…this moment of holding onto each other and forgetting that their time may not be as long as they prayed for; this time was theirs.
Ron continued to hold Ginny until the door burst open and Charlie came running towards her, fear written in his face. His mother briefly recounted the events and who Dean had become to the youngest Weasley. Quietly hugging his mother and father and patting his brothers' shoulders as he made his way to the still crying sister. He spoke more gently than anyone could have imagined coming from a dragon handler. "Gin…Ginny girl…" He paused. Holding his breath and silently praying that his luck to reach his sister still held. He had a hard time looking at her so distraught and not seeing his little sister barely walking trying to get his attention while her pigtails bounced with each step. This…this was a woman in love and suffering heart break like none of them had known before. Carefully he crouched in front of her and tilted her chin to meet his eyes, "Ginny girl…its Charlie…can you hear me? Please…I need to see you look at me." Slowly to everyone's amazement she turned her eyes to look in his as more tears began to fall from her eyes. It was now that Harry and Hermione walked into to witness this exchange between siblings. They watched as Charlie seemed to read her thoughts. He kept his hands on her face, drawing circles at the back of her neck. "Oh Ginny girl…I'm so sorry…please, talk to me. You loved him didn't you?" The group held their breath as Ginny began to respond for the first time in days by simply nodding, trying to controls her tears and her fears. "He was the one wasn't he?" She nodded and took a deep breath as she began sobbing out loud for the first time. Charlie working on instinct quickly embraced her into his arms. Letting her sobs be as loud as they needed to be, letting her use all his strength that he could give her. Mrs. Weasley gasped as Ginny threw her arms around Charlie holding him as tightly as she could, afraid to let go. This was the first movement she had made since the incident. Not knowing how long she would remain like this, Bill gently brought a chair over to Charlie and helped him to take a seat without letting her go. It seemed to be understood that this was time to leave them alone as the Wealseys retreated to the corridor outside the hospital wing with Harry and Hermione. Bill was the first to speak, "I'll never understand their connection. But I am thankful at least one of us has it with her. Will she be alright?"
Mr. Weasley hugged his oldest son, "I think she will, after everything she has been through, she will survive this too. She has her whole family and all of her friends here to help." With this, their waiting began unknown that a shadow watched over them from behind the curtains. Watching thru the windows of the doors as Ginny cried on Charlie's shoulder.
The week after was the hardest on everyone in attendance of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the day of memorial services. The great hall was still draped in black as six caskets lined the front of the hall. Ginny had to be sedated by Madam Pomphrey and Charlie had to practically carry her to her chair. The Thomas family had asked her to sit next to them knowing the joy that she had brought to Dean's life, along with the rest of the Gryffindor sixth years. What bothered Harry the most was knowing this was the first of many loses. The battle had begun and his greatest fear was in his ability to stop it. As if Hermione could read his thoughts she squeezed his hand lending support.
Days turned into weeks. Life began to move on for most. Some still grieved. Some trained harder. Each dealt with the hand that was played as well as they could. The teachers tried to sympathize to the best of their abilities and still teach class but some days were harder than others. They tried not to be too hard on the students that would break down and have to leave class. Hermione worried, she knew Ginny had left in hysterics more times than she attended. Several evenings she had begun to stroll the halls looking to comfort her best friend to find that she could not be found. Charlie had not told what Ginny had told him that day in the hospital, nor did he tell about her experience with Tom Riddle. The trio waited for her to return to the common room every night. Every night she would walk by with out a word. Tonight it would be different.
As Ginny entered Hermione stepped in front of her. "Ginny, please talk to us."
Ron was by her side, "Please Gin. I love you and I just want to help you. I know I was a prat about Dean but I knew you loved him very much." Ginny continued to stare not meeting their eyes, until Harry spoke.
"Ginny, we want to help."
She glared at them, "You…You want to help. How can you help me? In all your glorified powers of a mage can you bring him back? Can you bring back the one person I felt loved by more than anyone? Can you tell me how it is to feel this way? No! You can't say yes as you stand there holding Hermione's hand can you Harry? Tell me, how do you look in the mirror and know you took a life? Because I can't. I can't do it and my strength is lying in a casket beneath the earth. So can you help me? Do you really need an answer to that?" Harry stood there in horror. It was Hermione who spoke.
"Ginny, we can't change what happened, but we can help you cope with it. We all have to live with the decisions we made on Halloween, you are not the only one who had to see blood on there hands! How dare you think you are the only one to grieve for what happened! He was our friend too! How do you think Seamus feels right now? We cared for him and we all have blood on our hands! Do you think there is not a night I shut my eyes and not see the stains? But you…you make your family and friends worry to death about you as well as having their own demons to deal with. I'm not sure what happened to you with Riddle but I will tell you this…GROW UP! We all had to do the most unimaginable things that day to save our lives and I will be damn if you blame Harry for your loss. Dean chose to fight, Dean chose to protect you and Dean would not want you to be throwing your life, family and friends away. I'll be understanding to a point but hell will freeze over before you take this out on anyone else that I love!" Ron and Harry stared as Hermione ranted to Ginny. Ginny had a stunned expression as tears left tracks on her cheeks. Hermione wasn't sure what had come over her but knew that Ginny had been coddled enough. If this did not snap her out of it nothing would and then they would have to deal with more loss. She would not lose Ginny to grief, not if she could help it. With this Hermione turned and left for her dorm room calling goodnight to the others over her shoulder.
Training was hard. It drained most of them. Their bodies ached. But they would not give up…now more than ever people knew how important it was to learn. The DA worked just as hard too. Many trying to work out their fears and grief, some more determined. But they worked and they formed bonds that only came with combat. Many friendships had grown between the strangest of pairing since the DA took a stand together against the dark. Many approached Harry about him reconsidering his decision to let them join; he changed his mind on a few. It was nothing new now days to find many from different houses lingering after the meetings to visit with one another and this gave Harry hope. He watched as the group before him mingled in and out of the crowd. Slytherins talking to Gryffindors, Ravenclaws helping Hufflepuffs. Some found friends, some found love. As his eyes found Hermione a smile formed on his lips. She looked so happy talking to Blaise Zabini of all people. Who would have thought they would have something in common. Hermione had over heard Blaise singing as he left Advanced DADA one day. It was only then she had told him that she had sung with her cousin's band before entering Hogwarts and that she still frequently wrote her songs. Harry was amazed that none of them had known this side of Hermione. She also told him that the letter this summer was to say her cousin would be in town over the Christmas break and wanted her to attend the performance. They would be debuting the new song she had written. Since then Harry often found Blaise and Hermione discussing music. He enjoyed seeing her smile that way as she discussed her passion; he loved that she could still surprise him after six years. Life was still going on every where he looked, he still worried about Ginny, she kept her distance but opened a little more each time they talked. No one knew where she went but she had reassured them she was not alone and had been talking through her grief. Now he just had to wait for the other shoe to drop.
The shoe dropped in the beginning of December when Ron was called to help the Order on a mission as Harry and Hermione waited for his return.
"I don't know, maybe we should have joined. Then I wouldn't feel so helpless, I could be there helping."
"Hermione, we made a choice, besides I feel better with you being here where I know you are safe." He regretted that the moment the words left his mouth. Her eyes held fire as she turned towards him, "What is that supposed to mean Harry!"
"Mi it just means that I would be worried about you if you were out there and not here with me. Don't you realize how petrified I was that day? Do you even realize how close you came to dying?" He knew this would be the moment he had been dreading.
"I know EXACTLY what I did…I did it for you!"
"FOR ME? YOU NEARLY GOT YOURSELF KILLED AND YOU SAY IT WAS FOR ME?"
"YES! FOR YOU! I didn't want you to lose another parental figure Harry you had been thru so much I just wanted to protect you?"
"FROM WHAT?" He knew that the entire common room was witnessing this fight. At the moment his only thought was on how stupid she was behaving. She only thought about ungrateful he was acting. "IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A PRANK? DO YOU NOT REALIZE I THOUGHT YOU HAD DIED! YOU JUMPED IN FRONT OF AN AVADA KEDAVRA HERMIONE…DON'T YOU GET IT? IF YOU HAD BEEN WRONG YOU WOULD BE DEAD! DEAD! HERMIONE, AS IN NOT HERE WITH ME!"
She walked slowly towards him, "Harry, I wasn't wrong."
"You could have been."
She laughed nervously, "Have you forgotten Mister Potter that I am the know-it-all of the group. I am never wrong." She bit her lip hoping that she had managed to lighten his mood. "We agreed to fight together, this means that we may not both make it…it also means doing anything to save the other. I've never told you anything but the truth Harry, I would give my life for your happiness and health."
He grabbed her face in his hands, fury still in his eyes but fading to love, "Don't you get it? You…you are everything. As long as you are there I can lose everyone else, including Remus and Ron…but not you! Not you Mi…you're my everything! I don't know how to live or breathe without you…I nearly died the moment I saw you do that. My heart stopped beating." She was crying in huge sobs as he spoke. "You…you are what I fight for. Without you, I am ready to be with my parents and Sirius, don't you get it? It's you…only you!" Tears placed tracks down his face as he held her for life; she sobbed feeling everything he felt through their link. He had some how transferred those feeling to her. But she still found the strength to tell him the truth.
Pulling back slightly she rubbed his cheek with her thumb, "I still won't sit back and not fight Harry." He nodded with his forehead against her forehead. He knew he could not stop her but that didn't lessen the fear anymore either. "I will promise not to be so reckless though. I truly believed I was trying to save your happiness, I love you Harry James Potter. More than I can ever tell you." She stepped back into his embrace as he remained silent as they waited for Ron's safe return.
For days people could feel the tension passing between Harry and Hermione. It had been their first fight and most didn't believe they would fight. After all they were the perfect vision of happiness. But deep down Harry and Hermione both new that things had changed between them. He had confessed his feeling to her and the words haunted her thoughts. She had felt his pain and anger over her action. But how could she not fight; how could he not fight? The fear of losing the other to a reckless act fed their worst fears. This strained their relationship until they could figure out their feelings. Ron felt the tension the most; he often left to seek out Vicky.
One night he returned to the common room devastated.
"Everything okay mate?" Ron simply flung himself on to the couch next to them and shook his head no.
"Did something happen with Vicky?"
"Yes, she broke it off with me. Said that it was too much for her to deal with knowing that I would put myself at such risk for Harry."
"Sorry…"
"Not your fault. It was just more reality than she is ready to deal with. I'll be alright but for now I think I'm going to catch some much needed sleep. I'll see you in the morning." Hermione forced herself to look at Harry.
"Is this what is going to happen to us?"
Shocked Harry answered, "Is that what you believe? Is it what you want? Do you…do you regret becoming involved with me."
"NO! Harry that is the last thing I want. This tension between us…it will pass right?" Her hope was wavering and she needed reassurance.
"Mi that is the last thing I want…I just don't know what to do. The fact you nearly died haunts me. I wake up screaming for you. I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't want to be with you…I thought you were having second thoughts."
"Me? I thought you couldn't come to terms with me not wanting to be left out. I thought you were mad at me. I'm sorry…I should have known you would blame yourself."
"Can you just come here?" She slowly put her books away and slid towards his awaiting arms. She felt at home and peaceful for the first time in days. "So…I guess we survived our first fight."
"Guess so."
"Are we fine now?"
"As long as you are with me I am." Things were getting better. They sat in contented silence watching the fire. "We should head to bed."
"Harry…can I…will you…hold me tonight. I don't want to see the things I see when my eyes close."
"Sure Mi, come on. I'll go in first to make sure that all the other blokes are asleep." He held her hand as they crossed over to his bed where they both immediately fell into each others arms. Tonight maybe he could sleep. Tonight maybe he wouldn't wake up wondering if she was still alive. Tonight, he felt safe.
Time continued to move and students continued to heal. Harry and Hermione knew they shouldn't but continued to sleep in each others arms every night. It was the only way they felt safe. The guys didn't mind and never said anything about Hermione sneaking up there each night. On one occasion they were glad she was there. Seamus had woken up screaming for Dean which led to him having a panic attack. They were glad a female was there to help soothe him. Guys just didn't have the same touch as a female when it came to comfort. The Christmas holidays were fast approaching and with each day more students fell back into a depression. More staying at Hogwarts than ever before; muggleborns especially. They feared this would lead to an attack on their families. Harry was actually looking forward to returning. This was the first year he had ever had a home to return to. Although thoughts of last Christmas with Sirius haunted his dreams he was able to smile remembering the good times.
Hermione woke Ron and Harry early knowing they still needed to pack before the train left. She quickly headed over to Ginny's dorm to find her no where. She worried when the roommates told her Ginny had not returned last night and that it was not uncommon since Dean's death. The boys came down to find Hermione sitting on their favorite couch deep in thought biting her lip. "Mi? Heeelllooo? Anyone there?" Ron's attempt to stifle a laugh brought her back to reality.
"What? Sorry I was thinking about Ginny."
"What about her?"
"I went to wake her so she could pack and her roommates informed me she didn't come back last night and that it happened more than I care to admit."
"Where is she? Where does she go?"
"I do not know Ron." They sat there looking defeated until Harry leapt up and darted up the stairs. Upon his return he held a huge smile on his face.
"Sometimes I can be so brilliant!" He laughed as his best friends rolled their eyes. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
Grins broke out on their faces as they realized what he was holding. The Marauder's map.
Students gathered in the Entrance Hall to pass on their heart felt good-byes to one another. Hermione noticed Ginny seemed to be lost in her own world again as she stoically said her good-byes. Throughout the carriage ride she stared blankly out the window. Several attempts had been made to discourage her mood but none were successful. The group of friends were lucky to find their favorite compartment empty and quickly stowed away their trunks. The train ride was no different from any other trip except the movement of students who drifted in and out of each other compartments. Several people stopped into say hi and to Harry's surprise Blaise did as well along with three fifth year Slytherins. During that time is when things took a wrong turn. Neville stood as he saw the figure opening the door.
"I must say that this is an interesting site. Zabini with the Mudblood, Weasel, and of course Potty. Tell me Blaise…how much have you sold out for?"
"Shove it up your arse Malfoy…I do have to deal with these people in class. I put up with you so it's not that much different."
"Watch yourself Blaise…the dungeons can be dangerous some nights."
"Are you threatening me?"
"Of course not…but you must realize what this looks like? What else is your housemates supposed to think when you run around with this lot. You think we didn't see you? You think we don't know about where your loyalties lie?"
Harry stood and stepped right up to Draco's face, "What are you going to do about it Malfoy? Run tell your half-blooded Master?"
"Watch yourself Potter!" Malfoy sneered taking a step even closer to Harry.
"You think I am scared by you? A little snot nosed prat? Why don't you go ask him as you bow down kissing his robe?" Seeing the look in his eyes encouraged Harry to keep talking. "Yes Malfoy, I know. I know that you bend down to the floor, level with the dirt and kiss the hem of his robes. I'd also bet that you stand right between Wormtail and the Lestranges. Ahhhh, I see I'm spot on. Cor!" Harry leaned right next to Malfoy's ear and whispered, "Go back to your sandbox Malfoy, I know more about your little family than you probably…you can't play with the big boys…you are too scared. Your face gives it all away…you're shaking just knowing that I know that much. Go away ferret before I show you something you can really run and tell your Master about." Harry stood up straight with his arms crossed over his chest accentuating his muscle development.
"You think you are so invincible…you'll find your time will come Potter and I am going to dance on your grave when it does. Then maybe…just maybe…I'll take Mudblood for a test drive." He winked at Hermione to agitate Harry further.
"GET OUT FERRET!" Ron stood quickly pointing his wand directly at Malfoy's chest.
"Potter you should really put a leash on your pet…something may happen to him like it did with your dog…" that was all he finished before suddenly transforming into a ferret. Crabbe and Goyle stood shocked not knowing what to do as the ferret squeaked frantically.
"HARRY!"
"Hold on Mi, I am not at fault for this."
"No, I am!" everyone turned to see Ginny sitting up straight in her seat glaring daggers into the troublesome trio. "Now Dweedledee and Dweedledum, take you annoying ferret out of here before I make him remember his bouncing days." Crabbe leaned down and scooped Malfoy up as they fled the compartment. "Are you alright Hermione?"
Shakily Hermione nodded. She noticed Harry hadn't taken his eyes off of her since Malfoy's remark. It never ceased to amaze her how the world disappeared when he stared at her with such intensity. His eyes could tell her anything and right now she knew the comment both infuriated and terrified him. She casually walked forward placing her forehead on his crossed arms. It only took seconds for his body to relax as he uncrossed his arms and enfolded her in them. "What did you say to him Harry?"
"Nothing. Everything. Helpful insight…but Ginny" he turned towards her smiling like a crazy person "that was simply brilliant!" Laughter infused the compartment as the train continued to King's Crossing.
"YOU DID WHAT? How could you Ginevra? Do you know how much trouble you could be in?"
"STOP! LEAVE HER ALONE!" the room froze as the youngest male Weasley did the unimaginable, he shouted at his mother during one of her tirades. "Hasn't she been through enough? It's just Malfoy."
"Ronald Weasley I don't care who it was…rules are rules…"
"Leave him alone Mom. It's not like this hasn't been done before, you just found out about this one. If you are done berating me I would like to go to my room." The room was silent at Ginny's boldness. Very few had spoken to Molly in that tone and she definitely did not enjoy two of her children doing it in a matter of minutes. Arthur quickly stepped in as Ron, Harry, and Hermione turned to the stairs after Ginny. "Molly dear, she has been in a terrible state…it was nice to see Ron stick up for his sister wasn't it." Molly was still seething as she glared at him. "Let's go get a cup of tea." The room watched in amazement at how practiced Arthur was in calming down his wife.
Knock. Knock. Ginny pulled open the door "WHAT NOW?"
"We just wanted to make sure everything was fine?" Hermione said staring down at her feet.
"I'm sorry Hermione, come on in before Mom decides to hunt me down and kill me."
"She won't. Dad was handling her…but that was bloody incredible Gin!"
"Thanks Ron…and thank you for standing up to her for me. I can not see what she is so upset about…it's Malfoy."
"No problem Gin, besides, it was great to see the bouncing ferret again!" Immediately he had three pillows slam into him. This was war.
Laughter flowed down the stairs until dinner time. Bustling thru the kitchen door still giggling and playfully pushing the group called out greetings to adults around the table. Harry blushed a bit when Lupin briskly stood to give him a hug. "Welcome back!" Harry and Lupin stared at each other for a moment, neither saying what they really felt. Finally Hermione spoke what neither was secure enough to say. "Aren't you glad to be home Harry? I'm sure Moony missed you too." Mrs. Granger smiled at her as she nodded in admiration.
Shoving his hands in his pockets and slightly turning red Harry confirmed, "Yeah, what she said."
"Wotcher Harry! It's been ages since I saw you." Tonks added pushing Remus out of the way in order to hug Hermione.
Hermione giggled as Harry playfully added, "Yes it has. So what have you been up to? Married? Kids? Dying of old age?"
"No I could only get the kids part in since this morning…you know all 234 of you on the train." Listeners around the table laughed at the playful banter, none noticing the watchful eye of one in particular.
The house was quiet. Everyone had been asleep for hours. Harry continued to toss and turn. He was relieved when he heard a knock at the door. He quickly ran across the cold floor and smiled as the opening revealed his girlfriend. "Sleeping?"
"No, you?"
"Not much. Can I come in or do we have to each sit on one side of the door to talk?"
"You sure are being a smart arse for this time of night." He replied extending his arm to open the door enough for her to walk under. His mouth dropped as he noticed her attire. She was wearing a sheer sea green robe over a matching satin night gown. Spaghetti straps lined with tiny butterflies and sheer fabric at the hem resting about 5 inches above her knee. All though the robe hung two inches longer, it didn't help since it was sheer. Quickly closing his mouth he shook his head. "So what do I owe this pleasure?"
She blushed, "I couldn't sleep."
"Me neither. Here you must be freezing." Placing a blanket around her shoulders which really he did to try and stop his own mind.
"Thanks," she whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug. Slowly pulling away to sit on the couch as he relit the fire. "I guess I got accustomed to being with you at night. I also kept thinking about how good it felt today to see Ginny behaving like her old self. Did you see Mrs. Weasley's face? I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. As if we would get in trouble for hexing the ferret."
"Well there is a chance we could, but I doubt he would want everyone to know about it. I'm sorry you can't sleep."
"I'm just glad you were awake, we haven't really had a chance to spend too much time together in awhile have we?" He shook his head as he scooted closer to her on the couch. Nervously she whispered, "Harry…" as his mouth claimed hers. It all became too much for him as he continued to look at her in that outfit, knowing everyone else was asleep…especially her dad. As she ran her tongue along his lips seeking entrance he pulled her onto his lap. What he didn't noticed was that in doing that, she was now straddling him. He couldn't resist the temptation as he ran his hands up and down her smooth legs. She shivered breaking the kiss, "Harry…not here."
"Why?" as he began kissing the hollow of her neck where it joined her collar bone. Her breathing hitched. "What do you expect me to do when you show up here in the middle of the night, wearing that, knowing I haven't been able to have anytime with you at all since everything happened." His lips were moving south to the point of the v-neck line which hung right between her breasts but did not reveal anything. "Do you know how much control it took," his hands pushed up the hem of her gown so his hands could trail across her abdominals, "you sleeping in my arms every night, feeling your breath on me, wishing the circumstances weren't what they were." Her hand was gripping a handful of hair at the back of his head as the other was running trails down his chest. Her head thrown back allowing him more access. "Do you remember your birthday Mi? Do you remember the way I made you feel?" She swallowed trying to fight the heat that was building in her. "I've fought those memories, the memories of what you did to me that night…" he breathed deep "every night I have had you in my bed and knew I shouldn't touch you. Shouldn't be happy that I had you there. Knowing others like Ginny weren't so lucky."
Barely audible she managed his name again, "Harry…"
"Do you really want me to stop Mi?" pulling back to look into her eyes.
Biting her lip she shook her head no, deviously she leaned next to his ear, causing a hitch in his breath as she whispered, "No, I want you to close and lock the door." It took all his strength to pull away long enough to flick his wrist at the door and mutter the charms under his ragged breath. Picking her up, claiming her lips he carried her the short distance to his bed.
She gripped the sheets as his tongue ran over the nub between her legs. His fingers moving in and out in all the right places. Her thighs were beginning to tremble after just having one orgasm and already on the edge of another. As a cry escaped her she was relieved they had remembered to put up a silencing charm. They had been touching and exploring for hours. Each giving as good as they got. Bodies covered in sweat and sex. The final scream escaped her as he shook his head sideways with his tongue inside of her. He crawled back to the pillow grinning at his success. "I guess I did that right then?"
She rolled over to face him as his arms slipped around her, "That was…" she blushed more than he had ever seen.
"You know there is something that would be better than that…"
"Harry…I know what you are going to say…I-I'm not ready for that." She watched as his face fell. "Are you mad?"
"No Mi, I'm not mad…I just…there's all these feelings and…everything so far has been so…intense! That I wonder what it would be like. I love you and I guess I don't understand the difference between doing all of this and then you saying no to sex. Isn't this sex too?"
"I guess…I'm sorry Harry, I'm not ready. I love this; I love every new experience you give me. And…I do…feel the urge to go forward but emotionally Harry, it's a great deal more."
"How? Explain to me Mi…we've been completely exposed to each other, how is one more…act going to be so different. I've seen you in the most intimate way possible, my tongue has been in places that most would probably cringe from, so what is one more part of our bodies giving each other what we so desperately want?"
"How can I explain this…a girl's virginity is very important to her. I can only give that gift once in my life. To one person, no do-overs, no second chances. It's also comes with a lot of responsibility. Pills or potions, trying to remember to take them at the precise time and date every time, the worries of getting pregnant anyways. All the things we have done so far are wonderful and I love being able to share that with you, but I'm not ready to give you that gift Harry. It's the only thing I have left to give my husband."
"What are you saying Mi? You don't love me enough?"
"Harry James Potter do not put words in my mouth! I said no such thing, I said my husband. That's all. I love you and you should know that by now. If you want it so bad then maybe you should put in your application for the position!"
"Who said I won't!" They both stared at each other reliving the words that had left their mouths.
"W-would you w-want the position?"
"I-I thought that was clear." He said as his face flushed with embarrassment. "Is-is that something you think about?"
She pulled the sheet tighter around her body as she inched towards him to take his hand. "Most girls think about their wedding all the time. You play bride when you are young, you dream about dresses when you are my age, and then you dream about the entire wedding day in detail and what your life will be like afterwards. I always dreamed that I would give my husband the gift that no one else would or could ever receive. I want that night to be more special than any other night in my life. I know you probably think it's childish or sil…"
"Stop. Answer me this…when you dream about that day and your future…am-am I there?" He wouldn't look at her. He couldn't. That question had so many meanings he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
"Yes Harry…I think it has always been you. Before, I dreamed of leaving Hogwarts and maybe sharing a flat with my best friend. I knew Ron would stay at the Burrow like Percy and the twins always have. Ginny told me once they always talked about sharing a place after school which left you and me to share one. Then you kissed me. The dream was still the same but this time I had a ring on my finger and my best friend was my husband." She played with her fingers completely mortified that she had shared those silly school girl dreams with someone, especially him. Well that officially made him run for the hills! Way to go Hermione, shove this on a 16 year old boy who has the weight of the world on his shoulders! Bravo…but her thinking was cut short as he stole the breath away. His lips were on hers and her body melted into his. Every time she thought she had felt the most passionate kiss he surprised her. She slowly lifted her eyes open feeling the air sweep over her swollen lips. His eyes were greener than anything she had seen and something was there…wishful, love, maybe a desire. Too intense for her to tell.
His voice was barely a whisper, "Then will wait. As long as you promise me that I will be the only one ever considered for the position." She nodded yes gently. "If you dream it that way, then I promise to do everything I can to see it come true. I love you Hermione, more than I knew I could love anyone. I don't dream about a future, I'm not sure if I have one but it…I feel this warmth knowing you do. I hate to see you disappointed, I never want to lie to you, so I Harry James Potter promise with every breath I have will try to make those dreams come true. If you'll have me? N-not now…but when the time is right and we are older…and there isn't so much going on. Promise me something?" She nodded gently as a tear fell down her cheek. "You keep me up to date on those dreams…I need a few good ones." Tears continued to streak down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him. She was smart enough to read between the lines. She knew he also meant that he wanted to know if she believed he would survive. That they would survive.
Hermione cast a few cleansing spells and redressed. The night was quiet for both as they laid in each others arms knowing that they had promised each other a future they could not guarantee. As her breathing slowed he slowly untangled himself from her. He moved to the couch, taking a blanket and pillow with him. He hated leaving her but the fear of Mr. Granger finding him sleeping with his daughter…in that outfit…they would no way be able to deny the extent of their intimacy. But at least she was here, where he could see her and hear her shallow breathing.
"GET UP! WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON IN THERE!" Mr. Granger was banging on the door. Remus was trying to calm him down. "You'll wake the whole house, you know the Order was up extremely late last night, some just closed their eyes. Why are you pounding on Harry's door?"
"My daughter is not in her bed. Remus we spoke of this while they were gone. This is what I feared. They way they looked at each other on her birthday. If he lays one hand on her…"
"I think you should not finish that sentence." Remus glared his eyes going a faint red. "Have you even tried the door?"
"No but if things were as innocent as you claim them to be why haven't they answered the door yet?"
"Would you answer the door for your wife's screaming father?"
"I-I…"
"Yes I know…neither would I. I'm not sure what you did in your youth, but I do know about mine. I will say it again…Harry is like any other teenager when it comes to…certain issues, but I know both those kids. They're to smart to do anything to jeopardize their futures. My guess is a silencing charm."
"Why would they need one of those? I know why they were placed on all of our rooms so why would Harry's room need one?" Mr. Granger said crossing his arms as his face flushed with fury again.
"Remember your years as a teenager when you would stay up to late and then pray there was a way to silence your parents?"
"Yes, especially after a night out…"
"You forget…these teenagers have a way. My guess, knowing Harry, he didn't even get to sleep until dawn. Knowing who normally wakes the kids up…he probably wanted to keep Molly out and be able to sleep in. Look" he said turning the door knob, "the door is open." Both men walked into the room to find Hermione tucked securely in Harry's bed but more than relieved to see Harry snoring on the couch. Not even in touching distance. The men quietly left the room being careful to close the door gently.
"I'm glad to know they aren't sharing the bed, but I still don't understand their need to sleep together? I would have never been able to control myself at that age. How come you are so sure they can Remus?"
"Simple…they aren't there because of hormones…they are there out of fear. What they saw and did on Halloween would cause anyone to be frightened to close their eyes." As the men walked down the stairs towards the smell of coffee Hermione's father voiced his deepest fear.
"Remus, honestly tell me if I am going to have my little girl when she is done with all this. Most fathers worry about what their child will do about the future after they graduate, my wife and I go to sleep wondering if ours will live to graduation."
"Me too…" was all Remus could answer knowing he prayed the same prayer each day, sometimes more than once.