Only the Lonely

Chapter 8: The X-Men Take London

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Aquila Tamyrlin- Yup, I got that from an old Queen song, Bohemian Rhapsody I think.

Ellen- Yup, the British guy that Kitty is dating is Wisdom. This is one of the best fanfics you've ever read? What about my stuff with the Flash?

Agent-G- Sorry, no plans for an Excalibur Evolution story, it's already been done.

Thanks to- Shawn Provoncha, soreki.

Xavier's-

It was quite a busy day at Xavier as several of the students were bustling about for an upcoming trip. Hank was taking some of them on a trip to England. It was originally Meggan's idea so she could get some alone time with Kurt. The fuzzy elf then pointed out that they would need a chaperone to hide the fact that the trip was little more than a dirty weekend. That's why Hank was taking them, he was the one most likely to leave them alone, unlike Logan who would always be mere feet away form them ensuring that they wouldn't get up to any shenanigans. Fortunately, Ororo had the feral Canadian otherwise occupied so the dirty weekend was go.

Meggan was in her bedroom packing her clothes for the trip. There was a Bamf and the smell of brimstone as Kurt appeared and laced his arms around her waist.

'You ready for ze off, liebe?' Kurt asked as he kissed Meggan's neck hungrily.

'Kurt, stop it!' Meggan giggled as she swatted ad the fuzzy elf. 'What if Kitty phase din and saw us?'

'Perhaps I'd ask her to join in.' Kurt replied cheekily.

'You wish.' Meggan snorted as she closed her case and handed it to Kurt. Kurt gasped at the extreme weight of his girlfriend's case.

'Mein Gott, what have you got in here?' Kurt wheezed. 'Your whole entire wardrobe?'

'Not entire.' Meggan replied. 'Just a few bits and bobs.'

'Just a few bits and bobs my fuzzy blue butt.' Kurt muttered as he struggled to carry the case down to the waiting X-Jet.

The X-Jet, later-

Meggan and Kurt were sat in the X-Jet waiting to take off. As well as Hank, they were joined by Kitty and her new boyfriend, Pete Wisdom. Wisdom was much older than Kitty, much to Logan's annoyance. But even though Logan didn't like the guy, Wisdom was a gentleman at heart, albeit an uncouth gentleman that smoked like a chimney.

'How long does it take this crate of crate ter take of any way?' Wisdom muttered. 'My Auntie Alice can move fast than this, and she's bloody dead!'

'I have to make the pre-flight checks, Peter.' Hank replied. 'That is unless you wish the X-Jet to spontaneously combust with you onboard.'

'That's never happened has it?' Pete asked, hoping the fuzzy blue scientist was joking. Kit, please tell me he's jokin'…'

Kitty just smiled assuredly and crossed her arms over her chest.

'Oh bollocks, I'm gonna die…' Wisdom sighed.

'Your boyfriend looks so cute when you're torturing him, Kitty.' Meggan snickered.

'I'm a sadist at heart.' Kitty replied. 'It's always so much fun to like, screw with a guy's mind.'

'Kurt's mind is too nice to screw with.' Meggan said. 'His body on the other hand…'

'Meggan…' Kurt groaned. 'This'll be all over the mansion by the time we get back.'

'If it's about you and Meggan getting together during the thunderstorm, everybody already knows.' Kitty replied. 'You two made like, a load of noise.'

Kurt just groaned into his hands.

'Mein Gott. Please kill me now…'

'Kitty, please don't mess with my boyfriend's mind.' Meggan said. 'He's so innocent, I'd dread to think what your perverted mind will do to him.'

'Says the girl boinking the guy with the tail.' Kitty snickered.

England, several hours later-

After Hank had stashed the X-Jet somewhere safe, he went to book in to a hotel. England was a little more tolerant of mutants so there wasn't any need for anybody to wear an image inducer. As a matter of fact, the hotel manager was happy to have such celebrities as the X-Men staying at his hotel. The quintet weren't looking forward to meeting the British press however, but they would deal with that problem when the time comes.

Kurt and Meggan were in their room unpacking their stuff. Well, Meggan was unpacking while Kurt was in the en-suite examining a small contraption nest to the toilet. It looked kind of like a small bath.

'Uhh, Meggan?' Kurt asked. 'What's zhis thingie next to ze toilet?'

'That's the bidet, sweetie.' Meggan replied, not even looking up from the case. 'You use it to wash your arse.'

Kurt nodded in appreciation. Perhaps it was time for a test…

After Kurt had done his business, Kurt sat on the bidet and pushed the lever. Kurt's eyes widened in shock as a jet of ice-cold water shot up his backside.

Meggan came running into the bathroom at the sound of Kurt's screams, only to burst out laughing at the sight of the fuzzy blue elf dancing around the bathroom with his pants around his ankles.

'Zhat damn thing is dangerous!' Kurt said as he pointed at the offending contraption. 'How do you people cope?'

'We don't.' Meggan replied. 'You only usually get bidets in hotels and posh peoples' homes. Plus, I couldn't help but see your expression once you use it.'

'You are one evil woman, Meggan.' Kurt muttered as he pulled his pants back up. 'You've been hanging around vis Kitty too much.'

TBC…

Next: Chaos at Nelson's Column

Hank takes the kids on a sightseeing tour, only to become embroiled in a fight with Juggernaut and Britain's own super team, Excalibur! Introducing: Captain Britain, Psylocke, Chamber, Banshee, Siryn and Cecilia Reyes.