Anywhere but in Between
Happy Holidays everyone. Sorry for the delay on this, but the real world was getting busy for a while there. Thank you to everyone for their overwhelming continued support, and thanks to RonandHerm4eva for the wonderful review. How flattering!
As usual, only the plot is mine, so let's get on with it
Chapter 11 – Seeing Clearly
The first thing Hermione saw when she woke up the next morning was her name written in Ron's illegible scrawl on the end table. She rubbed at her tender, puffy eyes and reached for the note.
Hermione,
Sorry you had to sleep on the sofa, but I didn't want to wake you up. I'll be at the office all day if you need me, and at class until around eight. I'll stop by after, if that's okay, and maybe we can get some dinner.
I hope things look better this morning. I'll keep Eleanor's family in my thoughts today, and you.
Ron
Hermione smiled softly. All at once she recalled, with perfect clarity, the feeling of his warm, reassuring arms around her and an involuntary shudder ran through her body.
He had been so incredibly sweet last night. It was a very confusing thought, since he had always kept a fair distance with her when she was upset. It was almost as if he felt she would break into pieces if he approached her while she was crying in the past. Last night, though, he'd held her and listened to her cry and ramble on for hours.
The changes in him had been hard for her to accept, but she'd been getting more and more used to them as time had passed. He was still as he was as a boy, but the hazy things had come into focus, making him a truly incredible person to know.
She was amazed at his ability to juggle his job and school, along with a large family and his friends. He was working round the clock, but still found time to hand-deliver a thank you note and check up on his best friend, then stay and listen until well into the next day.
Suddenly, she wanted very much to see him again. She wanted to tell him how much last night meant to her, and how proud she was of him. She let the note fall to the table as she stood to get a piece of parchment and a quill.
Ron,
I do feel better this morning, and that is largely in part to you. Thank you for what you did for me last night. Not for the first time, I'm thankful you're my friend.
Please come by after work, but don't worry about dinner. I'll make pasta. I heard somewhere that it's your favorite. Consider it my very poor attempt to thank you. Or punish you. I also heard somewhere that I'm not a very good cook.
Hermione
Feeling better already, she smiled and sent the letter off with the morning mail. Her spirits were lifted merely at the thought of seeing Ron again tonight, and she realized she was smiling despite herself.
She stopped, standing perfectly still. She knew this feeling. She had done her best to ignore this feeling for so long, and with dating Terry, she was sure that all of this had passed. Now, though, it began washing over her slowly, setting her pulse racing and her skin practically buzzing.
There had been a time, long ago in school, that she had cherished every moment Ron would tease her, or look at her out of the corner of his eye. Every silly grin, or angry shout he threw at her made her feel the rush she was feeling right now.
She sighed and sank back onto the sofa. It had been the most confusing time of her life, when she'd found herself fancying her best friend. She hadn't known how to act around him, and often she felt as if he could tell what she'd been holding back. That he'd never done anything to encourage anything more between them had convinced her that he didn't, however, or worse. That he did notice, and didn't want to draw attention to it because he didn't feel the same.
When she'd started dating Terry, she had hoped, somewhere very, very deep down inside her, that he would get jealous like he did when she'd been corresponding with Viktor in school. Because if she was being honest with herself, that had been the only time she'd ever truly allowed herself to think that he could possibly feel the same way, but was just as scared as she was to say something.
But he hadn't. He had accepted her dating Terry with much less resistance than she had expected.
Thinking of Terry, she sighed wearily. She really did like him, but the detachment he had expressed over Eleanor's death bothered her slightly, as did the way in which he dealt with her in the aftermath. She supposed that all of the things she was feeling right now were related to that, and she hated herself for making the comparisons. Ron had been a part of her life for ten years. She had only known Terry for five months. It was unfair, and she realized she was making more trouble for herself than she needed.
She forced herself off of the sofa, and decided to set about getting ready for the day. She luckily had the day off, so she could spend it straightening the apartment and catching up on some reading.
Then, halfway to her bedroom, she was hit with an overwhelming desire to see her parents. It had been two weeks since she'd seen them last, and considering the events of the previous day, it made her practically ache to talk to them. She took a quick shower, dressed hurriedly, and was out the door a little before noon.
Her parents welcomed her with open arms, and listened sympathetically when she talked about Eleanor and her family. It was just what Hermione needed, and it finally took her mind off of all the thoughts that had been storming through her head since waking up.
"Oh, sweetheart, why didn't you call us last night? You shouldn't have been alone," her mother said softly.
"Honey, I'm sure Terry saw her home safely, and stayed to make sure she was alright," her father responded.
"Actually, Ron stopped by last night after work, and he pretty much stayed with me until I stopped crying," she explained.
She had forgotten how much her parents liked Ron.
Suddenly, the focus was brought back onto the one thing she was hoping to forget.
"Did he now?" her father replied, his eyebrow raised. "Well, that was certainly very nice. Of course, he's always been a very nice bloke."
"And so sweet," her mother added. "He's always so sweet when we see him. He's becoming quite an extraordinary man, isn't he dear?" she asked, training her eyes on her daughter.
"He always was extraordinary," Hermione said automatically, not even realizing she had spoken until she heard herself. She blushed, knowing that her parents had always assumed that her and Ron would get together someday.
Sure enough, she saw her parents exchange a look, and she sighed. "For the millionth time, we're just friends," she said emphatically.
"And why is that again, dear?" her father asked, a small smile on his face.
Hermione opened her mouth to issue the same reasons she had always given when her father had teased her about Ron in the past, but no sound came out. Today, the question didn't seem as easy to answer, and that thought above all else was what kept her company the rest of the day, even after she'd left her parents' house.
It stayed with her while she went for groceries, and while she cleaned her loft from corner to corner. It bothered her in the shower, and confused her as she got dressed.
By the time she started cooking, she was sick of thinking about it, and forced herself to focus on the task at hand.
It all came rushing back, however, when she heard the soft rapping on the door.
Get a grip, Hermione, she scolded herself. You're just friends because not being his friend would destroy you. She collected her thoughts quickly, straightened her back, and went to open the door.
The first thing she saw was a rather large, rather unattractive looking plant. Then, the plant moved, and Ron's clear eyes came into view.
"Hey, there. I know this looks disastrous, but it's actually a healer's plant. It is a hybrid of about six different herbs, so you have the base ingredients of about thirty different potions," he explained as he entered the doorway.
The thoughtfulness of the gift touched her and she stood completely still as he walked around her and set the plant on the end table near the sofa. "It's bloody heavy, though," he said, turning to face her with a grin.
Suddenly, having him right in front of her, seeing his lopsided grin and smiling eyes, she was overcome with the desire to be near him. Her feet carried her to him almost of their own accord. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her cheek up against his chest.
"What's this for?" he asked after a moment, sounding surprised.
"Thank you, Ron," she said quietly, holding onto him tightly. She felt him chuckle softly under her cheek, and she pulled back to see his face.
"If I had known this was how you responded to hideous plants, I'd have gotten you one long before now," he teased, looking down into her upturned face.
Thousands of emotions ran through her at such an alarming pace that she released him and took a step away from him to regain some clarity. "Are you hungry? Dinner is all ready."
Ron appeared confused by her sudden switch in behavior, but then again, so was she.
She cursed herself under her breath and turned to the kitchen. She busied herself with the plates, setting the table and bringing out two glasses.
"I don't want you to be scared," he said as he took his seat at the table, "but I haven't eaten since eleven. Watch your hands."
Hermione laughed, and suddenly she felt better. Thinking of Ron's eating habits as a boy in school gave her what she needed to distance herself from how confused she felt right now.
Ron talked throughout most of the dinner, which she found impressive since he was eating at an alarming pace. He told her about his day and what he had learned in class that night, and Hermione found herself smiling at him the entire time. He sounded so awestruck by what he was studying, and the pride she felt for him increased near to busting when he told her about his most recent exam score.
"A 97, can you believe it?" he asked incredulously. "The only thing I ever earned a 97 on in school was my flying test first year."
Hermione laughed, taking in the boyish look on his face. She was so happy for him, knowing how much it meant to him to finally have found something that he was perfectly suited for.
"I'm so proud of you. You know that, right?" she asked, meeting his eyes across the table. He looked back at her steadily, and the expression in his eyes was unreadable. He didn't say anything for a moment, but then he smiled at her and pointed toward the last meatball on the platter.
"You want that?" he asked.
She shook her head, and he speared it with his fork and rested it on his plate. She laughed suddenly, remembering a film she had seen when she was a little girl.
"At least you didn't try to nudge it toward me with your nose," she said, still laughing at the image of Ron's head bent over his plate.
"Huh?" Ron asked, looking at her as if she'd gone mental.
She shook her head again. "Nothing. It's from a Muggle film."
Ron still looked completely confused. "Some bloke pushed a meatball at a girl with his nose? What kind of film was this?"
Hermione burst out laughing. "It wasn't a film about people. It was two dogs and –" she trailed off when she saw the confused look grow into one of utter bewilderment and laughed even harder.
"Are you trying to make some connection between me and a dog here, Hermione?" he asked, raising an amused eyebrow at her. This caused her to fall even deeper into a fit of giggles, and she held her side.
"Stop, I'm going to be sick," she said, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. Ron was grinning at her now, and his hand was moving toward his fork.
"Let's see if you are laughing with sauce all over your face," he threatened lightly, picking up the fork with his meatball still speared on the end.
Hermione's eyes rounded, and she pushed away from the table. "You wouldn't. That's so childish, Ron, and I really don't think –"
"I'll do it?" he finished for her, and she rose from her chair.
"No, I don't think it's proper for you to threaten your host with her own food," she said, backing away toward the kitchen.
Ron rose out of his chair as well, a devilish glint in his eyes. "It's a small loft, Hermione, there's nowhere to run."
He lunged for her, catching her with one arm around her waist. She let out a small scream as he pulled her back toward him, holding the food over her head. She pushed at his chest with both hands, but he was much stronger than her. She then tried backing away, but he just went with her, until her back was up against the wall.
"Stop, Ron, that's enough," she said, half-fearful that he might actually do it. She shoved at his chest again, but that only caused him to tighten his hold on her.
"Say I'm not a dog," he said, waving the food in front of her face quickly, then retracting it when she made a swipe for it.
"I never said you were a dog," she explained, rolling her eyes. "Forget I said anything."
"Say it," he threatened again, this time the food coming much closer to her face.
"Fine!" she said loudly, "You're not a dog!" Then she burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Ron released her, but didn't move away, trapping her against the wall.
"You got lucky, Ms. Granger," he said, staring down into her face with a wide grin.
That was how Terry found them when he entered her apartment moments later.
Hermione heard the door open and his voice from the front room. "I knocked, but you must not have heard me so I just let myself –"
Hermione wished the floor would open up under her when she saw the look of open surprise on Terry's face when he spotted them in the corner. He was holding a bouquet of orchids, which dropped to his side.
"In," he finished, staring at Ron with a level look. Ron took a step away from Hermione, who was now free of the wall. She didn't move, however. She knew how it must have looked to Terry, but she didn't explain. She remained silent, and Ron cleared his throat.
Terry's brows drew together in confusion. "What exactly is going on here?"
"Nothing," Hermione responded automatically. Suddenly, with the power of speech came the power of movement. She practically jumped away from the wall, and crossed over to the far side of the table, far away from Ron. "We were just having dinner, and Ron decided to start a food fight."
Terry's eyes swung back to Ron, who shrugged sheepishly at him in return. "She called me a dog."
Hermione felt the giggles threaten to spill out of her again, so she reverted her eyes from Ron's amused ones and focused on her still put-out looking boyfriend. "What are you doing here, Terry?" she asked.
He seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts as he extended the flowers to her. "I felt badly about the way we left things yesterday, and even worse about what I said. I just thought I'd come by and apologize since you weren't in today."
Hermione forced what she hoped was a natural, normal look on her face as she accepted the flowers. "Thank you, Terry. They're lovely."
Terry smiled at her, and she forced a smile on her own face.
"Yes, lovely," said Ron, and Hermione's gaze slid to his of its own accord. He wore an unreadable expression on his face, although all signs of his light, teasing mood were gone. "Not at all hideous."
"Well, I do have you to thank," Terry said, making an attempt to smile at Ron. "After all, you were the one who clued me in on the preference."
"I guess I'm just that kind of guy," Ron said shortly, giving Terry a tight lipped smile in return.
Hermione felt incredibly uncomfortable, standing there between them not saying anything. In fact, she was downright miserable. She hated that Terry had spoiled the light, easy fun of the evening, and she hated even more that she felt that way.
Terry cleared his throat. "Well, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner, so I'll just talk to you tomorrow," he said to Hermione, clearly not wanting to leave in the slightest.
"No," said Ron suddenly. Her eyes came up to meet his, and she saw that he was studying her face closely. Then he smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "We were finished actually, and I was looking for a way to skip out on doing the dishes." He turned to face Terry. "You stay. I've got a busy day tomorrow and I really need to get home."
Ron moved around to the sofa and collected his jacket. "Thanks for the dinner, Hermione. I'll see you at the Burrow on Saturday," he said quickly, shrugging on his jacket and making his way to the door.
"Ron, you don't have to go," she said, not really knowing what to say. All she knew was that she didn't want him to leave. She wanted – well, she didn't know what she wanted, but seeing him walking out the door was not it.
Terry stepped over to her and put his arm around her waist lightly. "No, of course not. Why don't you stay and I'll see if I can scrounge up some dessert," he said.
Ron watched Terry for a moment, his eyes darker than they had been throughout dinner. "No, thanks. I really do have to be up early tomorrow."
His gaze slid to hers for the briefest of seconds before he turned to the door. Hermione wanted to slip away from Terry's arm, but couldn't think of a way that wouldn't seem suspicious or strange. So she stayed there, her skin feeling too small for her body, watching Ron walk out her front door.
"Goodnight Ron," she called out to him.
"G'night," he replied just before the door shut behind him.
She grew silent as the echo of the door faded into the room. Terry pulled her closer to him, and he kissed the tip of her nose.
"I really am sorry for yesterday, and I promise I'll make it up to you. How about I start with the dishes?" he asked, smiling down into her eyes.
Hermione stared back at him and found that she couldn't speak, so she simply nodded. He kissed her again and set about clearing the table. She watched him silently, only half-listening to him as he spoke about his day at work. All she could think about was how wonderful she had felt all throughout dinner, and how confused she felt right now.
She realized then, in one painfully clear moment, that things were different between her and Terry, and her and Ron, whether she wanted them to be or not. She had watched the wrong person walk out the door tonight.
She sat down in the nearest chair and rested her forehead in her hands.
Please read and review. I know the chapter only dealt with Ron and Hermione, but I wanted to get a scene in there that would help her move away from Terry, and it got a bit long. No room for Harry and Ginny today. Tomorrow maybe.