Only the Lonely

Chapter 10: Blushing Beast, Drunken Kitty

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Ellen- How can I not have Hank say 'stars and garters? 'It's his frickin' catchphrase. It's like having Jubilee not saying 'When I was with the X-Men…' And Hank is a cool nerd. More Wisdom coming right up.

Melissarxy1- Yup, there's lovin' coming Hank's way. Yes, that does make you a sadist. Not that there's anything wrong in enjoying seeing comic book characters getting beaten up.

TheLegendaryManHimself- Yup, Hank had better watch himself with Cecelia. She don't take no crap. Heh. Yeah, I think it would be funnier if Kitty was a mean drink.

Agent-G- I'm not sure whether Hank and Cecelia actually dated, I think all they did in the comics was flirt. As for the Juggernaut hearing Jono part, he could perfectly hear him in the comics so I didn't mess that up.

Quote of the day- 'My cat's breath smells like cat food.' Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)

London-

It was a typical Saturday night in the city of London. Even though there was a slight breezes in the air, that didn't deter the partygoers from going about their business of sampling the many nightclubs that London had to offer.

One such nightclub was 'Wannabees', a place where mutants and regular humans could party together in peace.

This was where Britain's premier metahuman team, Excalibur, brought the small group of X-Men to show them how Brits partied.

Betsy and Brian Braddock, Theresa Cassidy, Jonothon Starsmore and Pete Wisdom were showing Kurt, Meggan and Kitty around London's trendiest nightspots. Just to make sure that the kids didn't get up to any shenanigans, Hank McCoy and Cecelia Reyes decided to accompany them. If the present sight on the dance floor was anything to go on, Hank and Cecelia were the ones that needed to be supervised.

Kurt and Meggan were on the dance floor, the blonde metamorph grinding against her fuzzy blue boyfriend. Normally, being such a good Catholic boy and all, Kurt would be blushing like a loon but for some reason he felt fine about Meggan's sexy dancing. It might have had something to do with his excessive consumption of alcohol though…

Talking about excessive consumption of alcohol, Kitty was a little worse for ware. Seeing that the legal age for the consumption of alcohol was lower in Britain than in the States (1), Kitty was actually able to have a legal drink.

'Kit, don'cha think you've had enough?' Pete asked as he saw the petite brunette sway about. 'Yer drunk.'

'M'not drunk…' Kitty slurred. 'I-I'm as sober as a… very sober thing.'

'Sure ya are, luv.' Pete snorted. 'An' I'm the Queen of Sweden.'

'Your majesty…' Kitty said, taking a deep bow.

Pete just shook his head and downed his last shot of Scotch.

'I'm off fer another.' He said. 'Now you make sure you stay here, 'kay Kit? We don't want you gettin' lost in your state.'

'Aww, yo' momma.' Kitty mumbled, her head resting firmly on the tabletop.

With their dancing finished, Meggan led Kurt over to the table.

'Pete gone to get another round in?' Meggan asked.

All that came in reply from Kitty was a barrage of giggles.

'Hee, hee. You said in.' Kitty giggled. 'It sounds rude, get it?'

'Umm, no.' Meggan replied, looking at Kurt with a confused expression. 'I think you've had enough to drink anyway.'

Kitty at up straight and glared at Meggan.

'And I think…' Kitty's face turned blank as she tried to think of a witty reply. 'Aww, screw it…'

'Sounds like somebody's gonna have a hangover in ze morning.' Kurt chuckled.

'Aww Kurt, don't tease.' Meggan cooed, patting Kitty on the shoulder.

Kitty threw Meggan's hand of with a grunt.

'Don' make me go upside yo' head!' She slurred, shaking her fist at the blonde metamorph.

'Kitty, you couldn't even take me when you're sober.' Meggan sighed. 'And shaking your fist at somebody has never been scary.'

Kitty just mumbled something incoherent and slumped onto the table again.

'Pff, lightweight.' Meggan snorted. 'Fortunately, some of us have a natural resistance to alcohol.'

'And just how much have you had to drink, liebe?' Kurt asked.

'Well let me put it this way…' Megan replied. 'I feel suitably lubricated enough to float… something.'

'You actually need to be drunk to feel zhat vay?' Kurt asked. 'Frankly my dear, I am disappointed.'

'You won't be saying that when I've got you tied up in knots later, fuzzy.' Meggan giggled. 'There's something that I've been wanting to try with your tail for quite some time…'

'Who's trying what with whose tail?' Betsy asked as she walked up with a familiar face on her arm.

'Nothing…' Meggan quickly replied, blushing furiously.

'Right…' Betsy said, not believing a word of it. 'Anyway, this yummy piece of man flesh is Warren Worthington the Third.'

'We've met.' Kurt nodded. 'Warren.'

'Kurt.' Warren nodded.

'Oscar Wilde, eat yuir heart oot.' Terry snorted as she slumped down on to the seat.

'What happened to that cute Canadian guy I saw you dancing with?' Meggan asked. 'If those jeans he was wearing was anything to go by, he had a huge…'

'Meggan!' Kurt hissed.'

'Personality.' Meggan quickly said. 'I was going to say personality.'

'Oh ja, sure you vere.' Kurt snorted.

'What's up with Kitty?' Warren asked. 'Is she okay?'

'Pissed as a fart.' Meggan replied. 'Lightweight.'

'I c'n hear ya, y'know…' Kitty mumbled. 'I may be as pished as a wotsit but I c'n still whup yo' ass.'

'And it's wonderful that you believe that, dear.' Betsy said, patting the drunken mutant on the back.

Kitty just let out a burp in reply.

'Oh yeah, real nice.' Meggan winced. 'Real demure and ladylike.'

Kitty opened her mouth to make a witty comeback but lost control of her powers and phased through her seat.

'This sucks…' Kitty pouted. Then a lecherous grin spread on her face. 'Wahey! That sounds rude, get it?'

'No…' The others replied.

'Suck.' Kitty repeated. 'It sounds an awful lot like fu…'

Back at Excalibur HQ, the next morning-

Excalibur had been kind enough to let Kurt and co stay over for the night and sleep off their hangovers. Kurt and Meggan were relatively hangover free but Kitty on the other hand, she felt like crap. And that was putting it nicely.

A door to one of the rooms opened and a fuzzy blue head peeked out. This fuzzy blue head didn't belong to Mr Wagner however, it belonged to Hank. And the room whose door he was peeking out of belonged to Cecelia Reyes. It didn't take a telepath to see what they got up to last night.

Hank quickly checked himself over to make sure any signs of last night's debauchery had gone and carefully snuck down the corridor.

'Going somewhere, Mr McCoy?'

Hank froze in mid-step at the sound of the voice. Hank carefully turned around to see Meggan leaning against her door with a knowing smile on her face.

'Meggan, this is not what it looks like…' Hank said.

'It looks like you're sneaking out of Cecelia's room after a night of red-hot monkey sex to me.' Meggan replied, admiring her nails.

'Perhaps it is what it looks like…' Hank sighed.

'Perhaps we had better talk about responsibility, Herr McCoy.' Kurt added as he appeared next to Meggan.

'Oh my stars and garters.' Hank groaned. 'Will this never end?'

'Shut the Hell up!' Kitty yelled from her room. 'Some of us are hung over here. Don't make me come out there and pummel your asses!'

'We shall talk about this later, Mr McCoy.' Meggan said cheekily. 'Somebody's been a bad-bad boy.'

'Ooh! Is it me?' Kurt asked, clapping his hands excitedly. 'Please say it's me!'

'Kurt…' Meggan hissed. 'Ixnay on the ankingspay.'

'Pardon?' Kurt asked, blinking in confusion.

'Aww forget it.' Meggan sighed as she retired back into her room.

TBC…

Next: Metamorphs, Fuzzy Dudes and Dragons, Oh My!

Back in Bayville, Kurt, Meggan and the others go camping. Whilst there, Kitty finds something unusual in the woods. Introducing: Lockheed the dragon!

Notes-

(1)- In Britain, the legal age for the consumption of alcohol is 18.