Fifteen
Sasuke-kun. Isn't if funny how familiar that is? Even though I don't mean it, the words just keep coming, laying down the barrier. Is that what I am destined to be? A mindless love machine, always ready to accept to boy I crushed upon for three years before falling apart, broken hearted? And then only to come back when he comes back?
No.
At age fifteen, my mother had already had me; my father was dead. Her family disowned her, threw her away like garbage. And I haven't even been kissed, much less had the guts to profess that I love someone, truly this time. Why is that? Why is it that if I asked him on a date he would refuse me or insult me, when I was his last chance for happiness? Or at least, I thought I was. Naruto would offer the same to me and I would repeat the incident, pouring all of my hurt into him.
Even Ino has had a kiss; hell, she's had a hundred. And yet here I am, waiting, wishing. Mother would have smiled in her own special way and tell me that waiting can often make things better.
But she's not here anymore.
…And what of Kakashi-sensei? What would he think? What would he say? That I should pursue love at all costs? That it was unimportant? Well, I'll never know. Like the rest of my family, he's buried beneath stone.
So I wonder, what would love be like? Is it worthwhile?
Will it ever come to me?
The last one I doubt. After all, I am a shinobi.