Summary: James Potter has seen only the dark side of life since he discovered a secret when he was thirteen, and since then, he has been becoming increasingly cynical until he has reached the point he could be described as misanthropic. He begins his search for the answer to questions that will change his life, and along the way he encounters a bright patch of light in his dark world, namely Lily Evans.
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own the concept of Harry Potter, of Muggles and Magicals, and all that great stuff. I'm fifteen and I only get six dollars and hour at the bank, and I have to pay $400 bi-annually for car insurance, so I can't afford to have charges pressed!
When Dawn Breaks The Night
Part One-Meeting the Dawn
Chapter Six-Repurcussions
*~*~*
Lily jumped to her feet in a split-second and easily separated herself from James, who had his eyes narrowed.
"Don't mind me. I just wanted someplace quiet to study. I'll go to the Prefect's lounge instead!"
"No! No! Stay!" Lily said hurriedly, ushering Lizzy back into the room, who tried to back her way back out.
"I don't believe I want to! Trust me, this is more embarrassing for me than it is for you. Trust me!"
"No, it's not." Lily assured her, and with a burst of strength, propelled the Head Girl to the couch.
"Lizzy, take a seat." James said dryly, speaking for the first time. "That was an accidental situation that won't happen again in your presence."
"Ohhhh. In my presence, eh? So how long have you two been seeing each other like this? You know, Frank doesn't have the slightest clue. You two are good at clandestine relationships."
"Lizzy?"
"Just drop it."
Lizzy raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything else at James's tone. Instead, she made faces at Lily or James whenever they looked up from the newspapers at her. When Lizzy yawned and stretched, and stood up, the not-couple turned to look at her appraisingly.
"Are you going to say anything?" Lily asked, smiling in a persuasive manner.
"Just maybe to Frank. But no one else." She waved jauntily, and glided out the door, a smile on her face.
"Oh dear God." James groaned. "My whole dorm will know."
"When your dorm knows, that pretty much means the whole school will know within the day."
"So we're screwed."
"I'd say." Lily fell back onto the papers, deciding it wouldn't hurt much. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Kissing you, I shouldn't have."
"Don't worry about it, it was as much my fault as yours. Probably more, since I'm the corrupted pain in the arse of Hogwarts."
"You're only a pain some of the time. I'm going to bed, I doubt we'll have any
breakthroughs to tonight."
"You're right. I'm leaving too. May I escort you to Gryffindor Tower?"
"You may."
The trip to the tower was a mostly silent event, neither wanting to bring up the topic looming at the back of their minds. Or rather, the topic they were pretending to have at the back of their minds. Their conversation didn't exist, other than for random comments about safe topics such as the suits of armor, moving stairs, and obnoxious paintings. When they finally stepped into the common room, James cleared his throat uneasily. "Goodnight."
"Sweet dreams, James." Lily smiled lightly, and looked around uncomfortably, neither of them sure as to what to do next.
"See you in the morning?" James tried hopefully.
"Yeah…I'll see you in the morning." She smiled in a slightly more confident manner and turned up her set of stairs, as James did his.
Success!
When Lily stepped inside her dorm, she was instantly met by Millie, whose eyes were narrowed in an angry way. "You would never believe what Lizzy Wilkens told me."
Oh my dear God! Lily avoided panic by very little. "Umm…she just took off points from some Ravenclaws, and we're in the lead for the House Cup!"
"No, Lily, that wasn't quite what she told me."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. She said you and James were kissing in the Head Student Lounge!"
Lily went with the age-old teenager retort. "So?"
"So? Haven't you figured out he is death, destruction, evilness, and meanness all rolled into one boy?" Millie pointed her finger in accusation, "I have told you, Lily, but you refuse to listen!"
"He isn't as bad as you seem to think."
"Oh, but he is. You think everybody is a lost lamb to be saved, but they're not! There are bad, bad, people out there, and he's one of them! You can't save him, he passed that point many years ago!"
"Millie?"
"Back off right now."
"Excuse me?"
"I said back off. There are some things about him nobody really understands, and I don't feel you are in the position to judge him until you do understand. Apparently, you and the rest of the world think he's awful, but I don't. I happen to think he's nice in a weird sort of way. I appreciate your advice, but I wish you would bow out gracefully. And, to my next point, we kissed once…on accident! By no means does that mean that we are a couple."
"Sure it doesn't." Millie said skeptically.
"Look, it isn't a big deal. Can we just drop it? I don't want to get into a yelling match."
"Me neither."
"Good."
*~*~*
In the boys' dormitory, James ran into a slightly happier scene comprised of his four dorm mates sitting on their beds, waiting for his entry. This was a shock, because it was very seldom that they were all awake and there at the same time. "Uhh, bon jour?"
"Hello, good buddy of ours." Sirius greeted, an overbearing smile on his face. "Now, on with business. I hear you've been tackling our dear, dear Miss Evans in the Head Students' Lounge. Do tell!"
"Have you been drinking? You are disgustingly cheery."
"I am drunk on happiness that my best friend has finally found the girl for him."
"I now have several points. One, I despise your cheesiness…it's honestly nauseating. Two, we only kissed, there was zero tackling involved. Three, it was a mistake, and she is not the girl for me. Four, you're acting ignorant."
"I feel the love."
"We all feel the love. Now tell us what happened!" Peter said, blocking James's attempted exit.
"I'm sure Frank could tell you, courtesy of his blabbermouth girlfriend."
"She only said that she walked in on you two kissing."
"So you felt obligated to tell the whole dorm?"
"No, Lizzy announced it when she walked into the tower."
"Oh my blessed hell!" James's jaw dropped, "You have got to be kidding me. She can't do that!"
"Technically, you can't be kissing girls in your lounge, see?" Remus held up a large leather-bound book, Filch's list of rules, a sarcastic grin on his face. "Page 784, section CIII, part EE, rule six."
"Move, Peter." James said menacingly, baring his teeth.
"Where are you going? To see Lily?"
"I'm going to go strangle Lizzy. Normally, I'm against violence directed at females, but I do believe this is the exception."
"NO! No! You can't hurt Lizzy, she wasn't the one kissing Lily Evans." Frank said hurriedly, standing next to Peter in front of the door.
"That would be rather hard to explain, wouldn't it, Frank?"
"You know what I mean. She was just overcome with excitement. She was just being a silly girl, jubilant in fact, that she was the first to discover the two of you."
"Frank?"
"Yes?"
"I wasn't even going to go see Lizzy, relax. Do you people honestly think I'm some sort of Satanic rampaging beast?"
Silence.
"I think I'd prefer you didn't answer that. Anyway, I'll be back later, I'm going for a run around the grounds."
"Sure you are. Say hi to Lily for me." Sirius waved, and laughed when James slammed the door. "He is so easy to get to."
"You shouldn't have said that, Frank." Peter observed, also smiling.
"You know, I guess this means Lizzy really did walk in on them. Man, we are good at making stuff up."
*~*~*
"Ow!"
The distinct high pitched voice snapped James from his very clouded thoughts. "Watch out! Jesus H. Christ, you would think that by the time you're in Hogwarts, you could-"
"Hey! James, relax, I'm not out to murder you." Lily said, gathering her books and quills that had fallen from her open book bag.
"Oh, sorry. I thought you were that second year that acts like he's drunk nine tenths of the time." James smiled just a tiny bit and helped her to her feet. "What were you doing?"
"I was walking backwards, what were you doing?"
"Checking the roster submitted for the game against Ravenclaw next week."
"Official Quidditch Captain business, eh?"
"Yes. Why were you walking backwards?"
"Why were you checking the roster?"
"I asked first."
"I like walking backwards. It's exciting."
He actually laughed. "So getting stuck in a disappearing stair must be the thrill of your life."
"Something like that. So, are we meeting in the Head Lounge again? I think we're getting close."
"No, let's not."
"You're in a very strange mood today, James, it's sort of scary."
"I'm in an excellent mood today, aren't I?"
"You could say that. Have you been…indulging in anything?"
"No, I'm clean."
"Gee, that's good to know."
"Do you want to go get something to eat with me?"
"We just got done eating dinner."
"But not dessert!"
"Okay, sure. Lead the way." And so, Lily and James went down the hallways together, Lily thoroughly confused at the turn of events. She was even more confused when they passed James's friends, who all winked and waved.
By the time they had finished their brownies and ice cream, the atmosphere between Lily and James was much more relaxed, a million times more than it ever was when they were in the library together. James, in Lily's opinion, was easier, and possibly even pleasant, to be around when he smiled occasionally.
"So now would you like to tell me what you're doing?"
"Uhhh, eating?" James watched her, his old wariness returning with a spoonful of ice cream halfway to his mouth.
"No. Why are you eating here? With me?"
"Because I want to."
"I'm confused, you see, I-"
"Is it about us kissing?" James asked bluntly, laying his spoon down to watch her.
Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times soundlessly, working on an answer, then finally said, "Well, yes, it is. Because, you, I, we, uh, oh gosh. We kissed, and Millie thinks that it means something, but I told her it was just an accident, but she won't leave it alone, and so, I'm just…"
"Confused." James supplied. "Because now you don't know if it means anything or not."
"Right! So does it?"
"I don't know, Lily. I'm in the same boat."
Lily didn't really think they were, considering she was the only one of the two who was dark red. She hit her forehead on the table. "If you can't tell, we really aren't progressing much."
"Oh, I'd say we're progressing in grand style. We've identified the problem, and now we're at the define some possible solutions stage. We could pretend it never happened, fake out our friends, or we could update our status to couplish."
Lily started laughing, and James looked taken aback. "You had this planned! And you said couplish!
"I did have this planned. I didn't feel it would be appropriate for me to make it up as I went along."
"I'm very, very surprised."
"So, which solution shall we use?"
"Can I think on it?"
"What?"
"Can I think on it? It's a serious event. Of course, I understand if it's a one time deal."
"I'm not asking you to have children with me."
"Naturally not. I'll give you my answer in the morning if you still want it. It's your decision, however I would like it if you would accept it." Lily pushed her chair back and stood up.
"But if you want me to accept your decision in the morning, that would imply that you'll say yes, so why not just say yes now?"
"I don't want to get into this impulsively. After all, I've been warned away from you a dozen times."
"So this is about what people think of me."
"No, it's about what I think of you."
"This is very frustrating for me, you know."
"I can imagine, but just think, when I say yes, you can know I did so with full knowledge."
"What a comfort."
*~*~*
"Please tell you the god you believe in granted you with a little sense while you slept." Millie pleaded, sitting at the foot of Lily's bed the next morning.
"If you don't quit whining whenever I mention James, I'm just going to quit including you in my personal life."
"So he's your personal life now?"
"Possibly."
"Have you not made up your mind yet?"
"Of course I have made up my mind. I just feel it would be rude if you knew before James."
"Can we at least go over the reasons why this is a bad idea again?" Millie tugged on one of her braids irritably, not seeing the bright side of this particular situation.
Lily gave the negative, and the girls decided they better be meeting for Amos for breakfast if there was going to be any breakfast consumed by them that morning. Lily had the plan to meet James at breakfast, but that was quickly shoved aside when he wasn't to be found . Instead, she tapped Remus on the shoulder. "Do you know where I could find James at?"
"He's in the Head Students' Lounge working on that project."
"This early? Besides, classes start in fifteen minutes, there's no way he can make it down here in time. And that means I can't make it up."
"He has Study of Ancient Runes, it'll just take a couple seconds for him to get
there."
"Uggh!" Lily sighed, and went over to Millie. "Please take my stuff to class. I have to make it to the North Tower and back in fifteen minutes."
"It's a sign!" Millie said excitedly, "You'll be late for classes, you can't make it in time. Your god has spoken!"
"Get off your false prophet high horse and help me out, here!"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Make sure Figg doesn't notice I'm late.!"
Millie dropped her head on the table in despair. James would be the death of Lily.
Lily ran full speed toward the North Tower, home of the Head Students' Lounge, but full speed wasn't exceptionally fast for her. After running up a set of stairs, she was at a brisk walk with a stitch in her side. So, by the time she went up four more flights and down a thousand more yards, she was gasping and red in the face. Lily, not knowing the password, rapped on the portrait frame. While waiting on a response, she took the opportunity to ponder what in the world she was doing. In all honesty, she could have waited until lunch to tell James she wanted to update their status to couplish but she just didn't want to.
Lily knocked on the frame again, and called, "James? Are you there?"
The portrait of a staunch lady glared at her. "He is in there, but I don't believe you should follow him."
Lily rolled her eyes, and knocked a few more times, and finally, it opened. James stood there, wearing wrinkled clothes, and he had a huge red print on his face. "Have you been asleep?"
"Apparently. What time is it?"
"Eight twenty three."
James growled and disappeared back into the room to grab his book bag. "How could I fall asleep?"
"My guess is that you were tired."
"You are one bright cookie." James said dryly, and used some sort of charm on his robes to make them look fresh again. "Why are you here, anyway?"
"I came to see you before classes."
"Oh! About….?"
"Your offer. Is it still open?"
"Do you want it to be?"
"Yes."
"Then it is. Still open."
"Good. I accept your offer to update our status to couplish."
"Why did you want to tell me three minutes before class started?"
"I wanted to tell you before I told Millie, and there was no way I would be able to hold out under her interrogation all day long." Lily smiled, and then frowned as she felt her heart speed up as she glanced at her watch. "I've got to go. I need to get to Transfiguration."
James stared at her. "You're going to be late."
"Most likely. Maybe not if I hurry."
"No, you're going to be late. Even if you run full speed, trust me."
"Thank you for that bit of encouragement. Oh how it bolsters me."
"But I know how you can get there in time. Follow me." James grabbed her wrist, and started leading her at a fast jog down the hallways until he found a large column, from which he opened a hidden door close to the ground. Lily's eyes widened, not fond of the idea.
"You won't be late."
"Well, okay." Lily crawled in behind him, then found that she could stand straight in the cavernous tunnel, and started to run behind James. "Now you'll be late."
"I'm Head Boy. I can create a crisis that needed my attention, and voila, I am off the hook."
"That is abuse of power."
"It's the way of the world, Lily, get used to it. At least I'm not making innocent people suffer in my abuse of power."
"I guess." Somehow, they did manage to make it to the door of the Transfiguration room five and three quarters minutes. "Brilliant!"
"Call it my status update gift."
Lily laughed, feeling that this was one of those light and happy moments, the kind where the weight of the world has temporarily slid from your shoulders, and all you see are clear skies and songbirds. "Well, thank you. It was very innovative."
James cracked a wry smile. "I do try. I better go, or someone will have to have a brain contusion as my excuse."
"God forbid. Have fun."
"You too." Lily smiled at Millie as she walked into the classroom, very much on time, and settled into her usual seat. "Hello, Millie. You didn't even have to create a distraction. How were you going to distract?"
"I was going to tell her I thought my cat was sick." Millie laughed too, only at the thought of Professor Figg and cats. Their Transfiguration teacher was an older lady who simply adored the family felidae. She also loved fried cabbage, something Lily, Millie, and Amos all found very strange.
"And I was recruited to mention an article I didn't actually see in The Daily Prophet about the advantages of cats." Amos put in, stabbing his quill at Lily. "No doubt I would be caught in a bald-faced lie and be made to groom all of her nasty little pets…without magic!"
"Oh, the horrors!" Millie mocked, then turned on Lily. "So did you meet Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mean?"
"I have no idea to whom you're referring."
"James Potter." Amos supplied, quite unnecessarily, and both of his friends rolled their eyes.
"Yes, I did meet him."
"And."
"We have updated our status to couplish."
"Oh, God's socks!" Millie groaned, then nearly shoved Lily from her seat. "You idiot! I can't believe you actually went through with it."
"Hey!" Lily said, rather shocked.
"Okay, girls, settle down." Amos suggested, sounding nervous about being in the middle of a possible quarrel, his Quidditch captain the cause of it. "I think class should be starting soon."
"Figg isn't even in here yet." Millie pointed out, then rallied on Lily again. "Haven't I told you time upon time that he's a disaster waiting to make a wreck of your life? He damages anybody he's around, for the love of magic! Why won't you listen? I'm just trying to help you!"
"I have to go on my own personal experiences, and those experiences have not indicated he is some sort of raving psychopath on the rampage."
"Lily! He-"
"Millie! I don't want to hear it!" Lily hissed with an uncharacteristic snappish tone in her voice. "I won't change my mind until I have irrefutable evidence. Unless you give me solid proof he is bad, I'm not going to be a prejudiced little twit."
Millie gazed at her attentively. "Amos, we're in big trouble. She swallowed the hook, the line, and the sinker."
"Pardon?" Amos asked blankly, not catching the fishing reference due to his only Magical inheritance.
"It doesn't matter." Lily told him, then to Millie, "He is nice to me, and I like him. I would appreciate it if you could at least be indifferent instead of blatantly rude towards him."
Millie promised she would try, and Lily could tell this would be taxing, considering she could hear her grinding her teeth.
*~*~*
"James?" Lily asked, deciding this was one of those instances she should just jump right on in into the topic. They had been going out for nine days, and she had had enough of Millie's perpetual growling, groaning, and teeth grinding when James Potter was mentioned.
"Yes?" James glanced up from his notes, smiling a bit at her.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You may. However I reserve the right to not answer."
"Naturally. Why does Millie hate you?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to use the right now." He really did look regretful, to his credit.
"Why?"
"It's not my place to tell. You'll have to get it from her."
"But she won't tell me!" Lily threw up her hands in frustration. "Every single day I listen to her gripe and groan about you, and nobody can even tell me why! It is highly aggravating."
"Lily…I really don't feel comfortable telling you. I don't think it would give our relationship a fair chance."
"That bad?"
"Oh yes. That bad."
"Can I have a hint?"
"All it would take, Lily, is knowledge of my family. And that is something I wouldn't wish on anyone."
Lily drummed her fingers absently for a few minutes, thinking. "You know this is very perplexing."
"I can imagine."
"I can't imagine a family that is as awful as you describe them. You make them seem like monsters, and Millie implies it, so did Barty, and nobody wants to explain it. What do your parents do for a source of income?"
"I would suggest you stay out of all of my family's business." James told her coolly, but she was far from deterred.
"Are they in an illegal market? Because if they are, I bet Dumbledore could probably help them see the error of their illegal ways. Because of course, illegally is no way to be raising a child. It would just teach him, being you, illegalness."
"Would you please lay off the illegal crap? They are not in anything illegal, other than the business of blackmail."
"That's the best semi-illegal business to be in, from what I hear."
"Why do I have the feeling you know not one blessed thing about semi-illegal affairs?"
"I have a very limited knowledge of not-nice things, that is true."
"Why you sheltered little hot-house flower."
Lily grinned cheesily and ruffled his hair. "It's the way to be, I can view the world in a natural rose tint. But anyway, all the articles mention Potter Industries or Potter Incorporated, but there is no description. Is it manufacturing, or a service company, or what exactly?"
"I said stay out of it."
"It's an innocent question! Remember, I'm a sheltered hot-house flower, I wouldn't know illegal if I saw it! If you won't tell me, I'll have to guess. Your family makes women's lingerie? Right?"
"Uhhh…no. Not quite."
"You manufacture parchment."
"Close."
"Really? Wow. I am good. Okay, so, you uh…"
"We have a publishing company, among other not-so-innocent things you're too young to know about."
"That is blatant age discrimination! You can't do that."
"I just did. Go appeal to the high courts."
"You can be very disagreeable."
"That's the only thing that makes me a Potter."
*~*~*
Lily groaned as she felt somebody shake her Saturday morning. "Stop it."
"You're going to be late." Millie told her, tossing some clothes at her, and buzzing around the room.
"It's Saturday, you dimwit." Lily shoved the clothes to the floor and rolled over. "I sleep until nine thirty on Saturdays. Leave me alone."
"Not anymore you don't, your marvelous new boyfriend is the absolute star of the team."
"Don't be so cruel." She muttered, and batted away Millie's hand. "I don't watch Quidditch."
"You do now. Come on."
"Noooo." Lily jerked her arm away and pulled up her continental quilt.
"Fine. But remember, I tried. When James Byron the millionth comes back from his game with a killer bee in his bonnet, don't say I should have told you. Got it?"
"I got it, I got it."
*~*~*
"Kiddo, you're in for it." Millie told her three hours later, being the first to re-enter the common room.
"What are you talking about?" Lily closed her book expectantly, waiting to see what was happening.
Millie nodded at the portrait, and sat on a couch to wait with her. Apparently, Millie had either left the game or the revelry afterward early, because the herd of students didn't come barging in for another five minutes. After about twenty minutes, the Quidditch team itself tramped in, Peter Pettigrew brining in good amounts of mud with him. James was the last one to come in, and by far the cleanest.
And by far, he was the one with the largest frown. Lily raised her eyebrows and smiled questioningly, and it was a smile he didn't even try to return. He handed his broom to Sirius, and Lily rose to greet him. "How was the game?"
"Fine."
"Did you win?"
"Can we talk outside?"
"Ummm, yes, I suppose we can."
Lily looked around as she walked with him into the corridor, and down aways, filled with silence and observation.