Chapter 5- Payback

Revenge Part 1- Taking a Dip

"I'm a very busy person, Selphie."

"I know, just take it."

"Selphie I have many other things to do."

"I know Xu, but just take it."

"Selphie, I have to-"

"JUST GRAB THE DAMN STRING!"

"Okay, okay..."

Selphie and Xu, the next day, set up a series of strings in the main area of the Garden. "So, how's this supposed to work again?"

"Quistis comes running along here. She trips on this wire, sort of regains her footing, then trips on this one, which is angled slightly towards the side. Then she keeps tripping on these wires of decreasing angles until she eventually falls over the edge and into the water below.

"Whose idea was it to fill the floor up with water anyway? Really they should put a plastic floor above the surface or something, people keep falling over."

"Shh! Here she comes! Duck!"

"No, it's rabbit season!"

"Get down here!" Selphie pulled Xu down behind a bench. Quistis approached, walking by on her usual early morning "hall patrol", the perfect time to set this up because she was the only one dumb enough to come out this early.

"You know, I like Quistis, this isn't really the right thing to-"

"Shut up!"

And if Xu had looked close enough, she would've seen the shadow of a demon lurking in Selphie's eyes. "Here it is!"

Quistis tripped over the first wire. Instead of falling on her face like Xu had expected, she regained her footing just before hitting the next angled wire. If someone from afar had seen her, it would look like she was drunkenly performing a wayward dance. And eventually, she fell over the side of the rail into the water below.

"Hey! Help! Somebody! I can't get up!"

Selphie snickered to herself silently. Xu, already guilty enough, got up and showed herself. "Don't worry Quistis, I'll help you up!" And by the time she was up on the walkway again, Selphie was gone. Xu hadn't the heart to tell Quistis that one of her friends had pulled this prank on her. What a horrible choice this was.

Revenge Part 2- Seconds, please!

"Wires, huh?" Rinoa shrugged. "I have no idea how that could've been done, it must've been someone majoring in super geometry or something."

Raijin snorted. "Super geometry, huh?"

Rather than the whole team sitting together like one might expect, they actually sat at several different ones. Quistis, Squall, Rinoa, Raijin, and a gunblade specialist named Jake, aka "Mr. Perfect", sat at one table near the far side of the cafeteria, near the gym (and no there is no gym I made it up, people were asking me about that, spending a whole bunch of time looking for it). Zell sat with an honors student, Nida, and Quagmire the Trepie, who said he was transfered from Quahog Garden, which no one believed even existed. Irvine sat with three other SeeDs, two guys and a girl. Selphie sat at an all-girls table with Fujin, a majority of the library staff, and a student of Quistis's.

"Maybe it was a cross student."

Quistis shook her head. "I don't think so. All my students love me. During the sex ed unit, the boys all kept asking for an activity. Said it would help them learn."

"Did you give them one?"

"Yeah, I paired them up with the girls."

"Is... is that legal?"

"Oh yes, of course."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, they just wrote reports and I paired them up with the opposite sex to give them a second perspective. Why you ask?"

"No reason, none at all. Anyway, let's eat."

"Quistis, what's that?"

"Oh, this? The lunch lady gave me this weird box. Said it was special order."

"Do you remember special ordering anything?"

"No, it was probably one of those Trepies."

Rinoa sighed. "I wish I had a group of public admirers. The Heartilliies. Yeah..."

But when Quistis opened the styrofoam box, a ton of salsa and guacamole sprung into her face, splattering all over her.

The whole cafeteria was silent.

"Uh... need a napkin?"

As Jake escorted Quistis out of the cafeteria, Xu watched from afar, shaking her head in disappointment.

Revenge Part 3- Quistis the Legendary Mud Wrestler

The next day, Quistis was not distraught, but very aware. Someone was out to get her. She walked into class to find one of her students on the floor. "Billy... what are you doing?"

"I'm dying, Mrs. Trepe."

"Why in the world are you dying?"

"I touched the lead in my pencil. Lead is poisonous. Stacy said."

"Did Stacy say she was a D student? Because she is, don't listen to anything she says." Quistis helped Billy up. "Lead is not poisonous, only its fumes, and its graphite in the pencil." As Billy got into his seat, Quistis stepped behind her desk. Clearing her throat, she said aloud, "As many of you may know, a series of pranks has been set on me. I don't know why. If you have any information I'd like to know because being attacked by spinach is not my idea of a fun lunch." The class laughed. "And if you're the one... just know that you'll have to deal with Squall Leonhart." Squall was walking by at the time; he looked inside, faking a maniacal wide-eyed grin as he walked by.

The class seemed to be going rather well. Today Quistis would go in-depth into the history and usages of the GF Quezacotl, the sciences of conjuring a thundara spell, how its formed, and how it reacts with other types of magic.

"Which brings me to Quezacotl's overall compatability." Quistis erased some of her squiggles to make room for more squiggles. "Quezacotl has proven to be most compatible with males and females with seclusive features, because this particular GF thrives on loneliness, or so our technology has inferred. Also compatible with seclusive features, although primarily in the males, are Ifrit and the Brothers, but they will be discussed in later-" The bell rang.

And just as the bell rang, two panels in the ceiling opened up, dropping mud all over Quistis. For what seemed like an eternity, everyone was silent until all the mud stop sliding down her hair. Quietly, she said, "Class... is dismissed. Don't forget to study... for the quiz on Friday."

The students slowly filed out of the room. No one said anything.

Revenge The End- A Nasty Fall

At the 2F hallway

"Selphie, what are you doing this time?"

"Xu, Squall! How nice to see you! You're just in time to see..." She laughed maniacally. "The end of my favorite play!"

"Which is?"

"Quistis Dies! Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"I, uh, I've never heard of that one."

Squall put his arm around Selphie's shoulders. "Listen, Xu told me all about what you're doing to Quistis."

"Then she shall simply die a horrible death and burn in the depths of Hell."

"Okay... listen. There's an old saying. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Xu raised her eyebrow. "Really? I thought that was calimari."

"Yeah, that too. And ice cream. Well, that's an obvious one."

"Shrimp scampi."

"Yeah, that too."

"I love shrimp scampi."

"Ahem! Hello!"

"Oh, sorry Selphie. So, why are you seeking so much revenge on Quistis?"

"She took my Mr. Perfect."

"Um?"

"Jake."

"Oh yeah, him. Since when did you ever notice him?"

"Since I got attacked by the Card Club Jack's acne."

Squall exchanged odd looks with Xu. "Listen... are you sure you're not just... lonely?"

"I... I don't know, Squall. I was so happy before this stupid dance. But then, stuff happened and I... there's something missing, and I can't... I just can't..."

"Aww... Selphie, what about Zell and Irvine?"

Xu was taken aback by the look that Squall gave her as she said this, which made her think she shouldn't have. "You know... forget Jake. Forget all this! I... I just have to... I have to talk to them. Where are they?" She trotted away towards the elevator as Quistis left it. "Oh, hi Quistis!" she said jovially.

"Hi Selphie."

She beamed. "Oh, by the, way, walk on the edge of the walkway."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Um, okay." So then they both left.

Squall shook his head. "Beautiful and crazy. Selphie is a psycho. She's Selphie the psycho. That psycho Selphie. Psychotic. Irvine, what's up?"

"Not much Squall, just going to down to the cafeteria to get a snack."

"Okay, Selphie just went downstairs, she's looking for you."

"Okay." Irvine was innocently walking across the walkway when suddenly the floor gave through, and Irvine plummeted to the floor below.

5 minutes laters, a crowd had formed in the infirmary as Dr. Kadowaki examined Irvine. "Hmm... from what I can tell, I'd say that... Irvine Kinneas is dead."

There was an all-around gasp.

"I'm just kidding. That was fun, you should've seen your guys' faces! Haha well now all of you get out of here! You, Squall, I'll call you up when he's awake."

"Okay. Thanks, doctor. Come on guys... let's go."

And that's it for now. New chap coming soon.

Chapter 6- Depression

"So how is he, doctor?"

"He took what would've been substantial head trauma."

"Would've been?"

"Uh, normally his brain would've been severely damaged but we found very little traces of any brain tissue at all."

"...doesn't surprise me."

"Mr. Kinneas will be all right."

"So he's okay?"

"Not exactly... the left side of his body is now completely paralyzed. He will now literally be 'all right'.