Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Square Enix staff (and it would be kind of wrong if I did) and baka is one of very few Japanese words that I know, my friend in 7th grade taught it to me. I did buy this "teach yourself Japanese" book but it's way too vague and confusing, and I think I'll just take a class or something.
OK well I wasn't sure if I'd get 10 reviews, but I did, and if I got that then I'd write this extra chapter. :) A few years ago when I used to write a bunch of comedy for the FF's I got a bunch of reviews, like 3 per chapter, so it was more like 15 for extra chapters and I wrote a total of three for one story once. But, that's all stuff I did in the 7th/8th grade. The old days... ahh... since then I moved 9 miles down the highway and made friends with a bunch of idiots at my new school. Anyway, I hope you like it!
Chapter 8- Wedding
"So, what are you here for, Squall?" Dr. Kadowaki asked.
"Just a checkup. Is there something new about this place?"
"I got a new chair. It moves by remote control. Here, get on." She motioned for him to sit on the chair. "Okay, let's see how this works." The chair turned. "Oh wow, that's cool!" It turned again. "OK, doctor, that's enough, I'd like to have my checkup now." The chair raised, then lowered, turning again. "Hey, will you just stop that now?"
"The remote is broken!"
"What?" The chair went berserk, changing height and rotating. Eventually, the chair turned, throwing Squall out of it. "Oh, thank God that's over... no!" The chair fell on top of Squall, beating him senseless. "Doctor! The chair's killing me!"
Kadowaki ran over and pulled the plug out of the wall. "OK, let's try this one more time."
"Is it okay this time?"
"Yes, Squall, I turned off the electricity. Just have a seat."
Squall eased into the chair. "Well, now that that's over, I just want to what the hell!" The chair went berserk again, atttacking Squall.
In the cafeteria, Squall met Rinoa at lunch. "Wow, Squall, what's wrong with you? You look horrible."
"I was attacked by a dentistry chair."
"O...K... anyway, here." She handed him a card. "This is our invitation to Zell and Selphie's wedding."
He studied the card. "The 26th... that's ten days away."
"Who would know, Selphie and Zell getting married before us..."
"What?"
"Well, you'd know from the beginning we're perfect together."
"What gives you that idea?"
"Well, duh! We're both on the cover of the game."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know... but whatever it means, it's true. You know, just like Cloud and Tifa, or Tidus and Yuna... what?"
Squall had been staring at Rinoa. "Who are all these people? What the hell are you talking about?"
"I don't know, it's like someone's willing me to say it... hey, you!" Rinoa spotted a Japanese man behind a counter. He tried to run, but she and Squall chased him down and caught him. "Who are you?"
"I... am Yoshinori Kitase."
"No you're not!" Another Japanese man bounded from the hallway. "I'm Yoshinori! You're Hironobu Sakaguchi, you cheapskate! Why do you always have to be such a bully...?"
"Because you're fun to mess with. Get him now!"
"Huh?"
Another Japanese man, this one holding a trumpet in one hand, ran in from behind and shot Kitase with a rubberband.
"Nobuo Uematsu! I'm going to tell your mom! You guys don't even work for Square anymore!"
"Oh..."
"Yoshi, you're such a baka no shinbun!"
"Why did you just call me a stupid newspaper?"
The three men walked away, arguing with each other.
"The hell was that all about?"
"I don't know. Hey, you wanna go make out?"
"OK."
"I just can't believe my friend from Trabia is flying all the way out to be my bridesmaid! How cool is that?"
"What was her name again?"
"Selphie's Friend."
"Well, that's what the text bbox said." Zell stared up at the grey box above his head that said 'Zell' at the top. "Hey, you spelled 'box' wrong."
"Oh, sorry," said a mighty voice from nowhere. The second B was erased. "You know I had a dream that we lived in a world where there were no grey boxes above peoples' heads."
"Then how would you know what people are saying?"
"Well, these weird noises came from peoples' mouths. I think it was called... a voice."
"A voice? You have some crazy dreams, Zell. Anyway, who's gonna be your best man? Your dad? One of your friends?"
"Actually, I was thinking... it'd be cool to have a monkey give me the ring."
"A monkey?"
"Yeah. Wouldn't that be cool?"
"How about... someone else? That guy Rich from Balamb is, like, your best friend, right?"
"Yeah, but I would really like a monkey."
"I don't really want a monkey at our wedding."
"Do you have something against monkeys? Pfft, fine... a GF then! Ifrit! You should have Shiva."
"You mean Siren?"
"Is that the one you like? Well, okay, no monkey. But Ifrit, please?"
"...okay, fine."
"YES! I love you babe!" Zell passionately kissed Selphie and ran out of the room, eager to make sure everything would be ready in time for the wedding.
"So, what kind of things do you like to do?" Irvine was bored out of his mind.
"I like to read," Xu answered.
"Great," Irvine said, forcing a smile. Why did his friends and squad keep hooking him up with people? He didn't even like Xu. "Do you do any sports?"
"I do chess. Back when I was crazy I used to play shuffleboard. Ah... but, that was a long time ago. I've grown up since then."
"Right... you know what, I remember something I have to... do... so if you don't mind I think I'll go now."
"Okay. Bye, then."
"See you." As Irvine walked down the central path, he saw the Headmaster and that Trepie, Glenn Quagmire.
"I said OUT!"
"But, but, you see, I-"
"ENOUGH! You're not even a real student! How many girls have you impregnated since you got here, fourteen?"
"Yeah, it's been a slow week... you know, only twelve of those fourteen were actually girls."
"GET OUT!"
"Giggety giggety!" The Trepie ran out the front gate in fear."
"Aren't we moving?"
Soon after the Trepie left, they heard a fading scream as the Trepie fell below. "GIGGETY GIGGETY Giggety Giggety giggety giggety..."
"That was weird..."
At the wedding
"So, how exactly did all the GF's get here?" Cid asked his wife Edea. "I just pulled some strings, being a sorceress and everything." She smiled and waved at Shiva, who waved back.
"We are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony..." The pastor continued.
Zell whispered to Ifrit, "I just wanted to thank you for coming on such short notice."
"Oh, don't worry about it, it's the least I can do."
"Be careful there, make sure you don't catch that cloth on fire."
"Oh, sorry."
"If anyone objects to these two being married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Everyone turned to Irvine. "...what? I'm not gonna say anything? Stop staring at me! Hello people, they're getting married!"
"I do."
"In that case, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Everyone cheered as Zell and Selphie locked lips. They had finally married.
Quistis saw Quezacotl arguing with an old man nearby. "Hey, hey, what's the problem here?"
"Quistis, this clown says he's better at casting thunder than me."
"You ungrateful bird, I can beat you any day!" the old man shouted. Quistis recognized him as Ramuh the thunder god.
"Let's go, right now!"
"Hey, you two, this is a wedding reception, okay? Besides, Ramuh's obviously better." She walked away.
"Oh come on, you're just being biased because he's human. Well guess what, Quistis, he's not! He just looks like it but he's not! Yeah, you better run!"
Leviathan was chatting with Bahamut. "You know, something tells me we shouldn't be here. I'm getting some sort of weird feeling."
"Yeah, I'm getting it too. Don't worry about it, it'll go away."
Meanwhile
"Cloud, just summon Bahamut and then Sephiroth will be dead!"
"I can't! He's just not coming! Bahamut, come on! Please!"
Sephiroth advanced on Cloud slowly. "Bahamut! Bahamut! BAHAMUT! I want my mommy..."
Irvine approached Zell and Selphie. "Hey, I just want you guys to know, I'm happy for both of you. I really am."
"Aww, thanks man! That means alot."
"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll find someone someday."
Irvine smoothed his tuxedo. In a cool-guy type of way, he said, "I am a loner. I don't need anyone. I do things my own way. Ooh, check out that hottie! Who is she?" Irvine left to go talk to her.
A new song started to play. "Well, Selphie, would you like to dance?"
"Hmm... I got nothing better to do, why not?"
Zell noticed something. "Hey, you! Yes, you, on the computer, I'm talking to you! The story's over, why are you still reading? Get outta here!"
And THAT is the final finalest chapter. Hope you enjoyed, and remember to look for the sequel, The Year of the Fujin.
Also by Desertman-
-fanfiction. net
The Iris- Final Fantasy 7- Action/Adventure
-fictionpress. net
French Grammar for Dummies- Essay
The Central Continent- Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Y'all come back now, ya hear:) sucks on wheat stalk