A/N: Well, thanks to all those who reviewed. And, for anyone who is less than enthused about reading about Ron Weasley attempting to perform and erotic dance, I suggest that you proceed with caution, because chapter two barely squeaked by, getting exactly the five reviews necessary to force Ron to live up to his end of the bargain. I tried to stop it, but Hermione was rather insistent. Anyway... read on, if you dare.

Chapter 3:

Arrival At the Burrow

Ron was looking around nervously, Hermione had an excited gleam in her eye (that's right, just the one of them... the left one, actually), and Harry and Ginny were looking awkwardly at each other as if they weren't sure they should be here for this.

"We got five reviews!" squealed Hermione. "That must mean we're writing this correctly! I just love getting reviews. Plus, we get to see Ron do an erotic dance now."

Ron looked around nervously some more.

"But first, let us respond to our wonderful reviewers," suggested Hermione. So, they did.

A/N: Jessica L'Rynn: Thanks for the review. We would've gotten back to you last chapter, but we posted chapter 2 just before we got your review. (Also, Gryffindor777 would like to register that he's a bit confused about what you mean by having the characters do something that they would enjoy in character, but wonders whether the Harry/Ginny combination counts?)

grangerlovesweasley: yes, it's rather too bad that you can't actually see Ron do the dance... but we'll give you the play-by-play.

princess sparkle: Ron would like to answer your question personally and register that he must've been more sleep-deprived than he had realized when he agreed to the dancing, and he's now feeling rather anxious about it. (Gryffindor777 says that he was considering having Fred and George come over to cause some literary mischief in a later chapter, does this suit?)

GrannyAdams: We're glad that we succeeded in making you feel special and also, apparently, encouraging you to review again. Thanks for saying it's brilliant, and we can assure you that the plot will only continue to regress as it gets less and less realistic in future chapters.

RupertGrintLover14 (read her review if you want this next part to make sense...): We were enjoying the e-monkey quite nicely until the e-zookeeper showed up. We tried to tell him that he had just been hanging around like you said, but the zookeeper found this a rather odd story for him to hear in Britain. So Mr. Weasley had to modify his memory, but now everything's good. And we're allowed to keep the e-monkey.

RubberDuckiesofDoom: Thanks for the review (Gryffindor777 would like to add that he just reread your Truth or Dare Parody and still thinks it's brilliant and that anybody reading this story should definitely also go read that one. He also hopes that this makes up for the fact that he makes fun of the Lily/Ginny similarity, which you seem to be a fan of, in this chapter.)

Now then: The moment that at least three of you have been waiting for: Ron does an erotic dance. Now to begin the play by play, which I, Hermione, am typing hurriedly as I watch the dance: Ron gets up, looks around nervously (this is becoming a habit with him as of late). He then fixes a gaze which he seems to think is alluring on nobody in particular and sort of starts... gyrating. Yeah, that's the best word I can come up with to describe it. And he's moving his hips around in a rather odd manner. Well... it's not sexy, but it's about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Ron now seems to be contemplating whether or not he should try taking off his shirt to make the dance more erotic. At this point, Harry and Ginny each exit the room, looking mildly grossed out. The e-monkey politely excuses itself as well. Ron slowly removes his shirt in a way which is still no more sexy than the rest of the dance has been, but which is still very amusing. Oooh. Wow. I think he's done."

As Hermione stopped typing the authors' note, Harry and Ginny reentered the room while Ron put his shirt back on considerably faster than he had taken it off. It didn't seem as if it was necessarily a wise move for him to be putting on more clothes at this point, as he had turned red and was looking exceptionally sweaty, but that was probably due to embarassment more than heat.

"Well, that was... entertaining," said Hermione somewhat derisively. "But we did get our 5 reviews out of it. Which I'm very happy about."

"Yeah, we could tell," said Ron, echoing Hermione's derisive tone because the author can't think of another appropriate tone for him to use.

"We should think of something else we could offer for more reviews," said Hermione conspiratorially.

"Whoa, ease up there," said Ron, who didn't notice that he sounded like a cowboy because he was gearing up for an argument, and unfortunately never thought too well whenever he was about to launch into an argument. "We haven't even started this chapter and you're already thinking of the reviews! You've become a review-Nazi!"

"What? I have not!" countered Hermione, "I simply like to get feedback!"

"Look, why don't you two settle your differences later?" asked Harry curiously. "We've got a chapter to write tonight! What's the agenda for this one, Hermione?"

"Well, the first thing we've got to do in this chapter is to get Harry to the Burrow from the Dursleys' house. Now, I've seen this done in a number of ways. For instance, the Dursley's could be killed in a close shave for Harry, in spite of the protection that Dumbledore is so confident that Harry has while he's at that house. Or, Molly Weasley could be so desperate to see Harry happy that she would actually contradict Dumbledore's obvious wish to keep Harry at his relatives' house for a portion of the summer, and she could go rescue him herself."

Harry seemed to be about to say something, but was cut off when Hermione started speaking again. "However, as neither of these scenarios seem to me to be convincing in the least, I think we ought to just have Dumbledore say that it's okay for Harry to come to the Burrow about two weeks after he gets the letters from last chapter."

Harry looked slightly put out by the announcement that he would not be allowed to write about the Dursleys dying after all, but didn't argue. Hermione said, "So, why don't you start this chapter, Harry? Write up to the point when you arrive at the Burrow, and remember to include a typo or two, but not any adequate transitions. You should probably jump the story right up to the day where the Weasleys come to get you. And remember to write something about your unnaturally passionate developing love interest toward Ginny. At this stage in the pre-relationship, most fanfictions tend to have you as very reluctant to show your feelings, afraid that she won't like you back, and interested in her mostly for her looks and Quidditch abilities. Fanfiction writers seem to think that you're a fairly shallow bloke, when it comes to love, although your choice of Cho as your first romantic interest may give them some justification for this."

"Yeah, I think I've got this under control," said Harry. "Last night, I had some trouble falling asleep, so I glanced over some fanfictions as well. I think I'll be able to mimic their style pretty well."

Harry started to type.

"Due to laziness on the part of the authors, nothing worth writing about occurred over the next several days, until the day when the Weasleys, with Dumbledore's consent, would come to get Harry. Harry was so excited to see Ginny that he had nearly forgotten that Ron lived at the Burrow too.

Harry had been thinking a lot about Ginny lately, and had been writing to her constantly over the previous days. Basically, they managed to respond to each other's letters at least twice daily, even though neither Pigwidgeon nor Hedwig was actually able to deliver letters quite that fast between Little Whinging and Ottery St. Catchpole.

Ginny was, a great friend for Harry, and he rather wondered why he hdn't noticed it before. He was also beginning to remember that Ginny was very attractive, although he had not quite realized it before (if you're wondering how he could have remembered this without having realized it in the first place, you're not alone). As he counted down the minutes to the time when the Weasley's were scheduled to come to pick him up (that time was 6 pm, and the author would have mentioned this before but declined to do so on the grounds that it might look too much like a transition) he thought about what he admired about Ginny.

Well, first there was her beautiful red hair. And her cute freckles, and her deep brown eyes. Plus, she was very good at Quidditch. At this point in his mental appraisal, Harry realized with a start that brown eyes, red hair, freckles, and Quidditch abilities were traits that also applied to Ron, and therefore compensated by thinking about Ginny's more uniquely feminine features. This topic shall not be explored in greater detail at the moment as there are females currently present in the room, as well as Ginny's brother.

Then, the Weasleys came and whisked Harry away to the Burrow. Just like that. Unfortunately, the Dursleys were not in any way wounded in the process."

"Yes, yes, that should do it," agreed Hermione. "Now then. Ginny might as well type the next bit, as it will be mostly about her anyway. The most important part of this chapter is this first meeting between Harry and Ginny after their long separation of... well, it was only about a month, but we're obligated to be melodramatic about it anyway. At any rate, this section has to include a comparison between Ginny and Lily, or between Ginny and Mrs. Weasley. Maybe we can get extra credit for comparing her to both in one story! I suppose the reason for these comparisons is that there's really not all that much characterization of Ginny in the books (A/N from Gryffindor777: that's right, they've read the books too (except Ron, who doesn't go for that type of thing). I mean, why not, it's no less realistic than having them post fanfiction, right?) and so the authors have to compensate by characterizing her through comparisons to others. Speaking of Molly Weasley, by the way, she has to show herself in a very motherly roll toward Harry in this scene, and should also naturally realize that Harry needs to date Ginny to help him get over Sirius. The fanfiction-author consensus on this seems to be that Molly will be perfectly okay with Ginny wooing Harry, even if it means, as it usually seems to, that she's going to have to wear provocative clothing to do so. Remember, Harry's got to be semi-perverted in this chapter. And, by the way, in order to make the comparison between Lily and Ginny more obvious, it is perfectly acceptable to change Ginny's eye color to green."

"But that doesn't even make sense, I just mentioned in the last part how I love her beautiful deep brown eyes!" exclaimed Harry. "I mean, I mentioned how the fictional version of me likes Ginny's brown eyes. The opinions of the fictional Harry do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the real Harry. I mean, me. Crap, now I can't stop speaking in the third person."

For the sake of tact, Hermione decided to let Harry's verbal slip slide and simply clarified, "It doesn't have to make sense. Fanfictions don't have to have internal logic. In fact, I'm not sure that they're even allowed to. Oh, and Ginny, see if you can put in at least two typoes."

"Okay," Ginny said, as she sat behind the keyboard, "listen to this:

Without any proper transition, Harry was back at the Burrow where he was quickly embraced by Ginny. She was, of course, whering... well, not much as it turned out. She had on very short shorts and a sleeveless shirt that left her midriff exposed. And, it practically goes without saying that these clothes were very fashionable. This is realistic because it makes sense that even though her family did not have enough money to buy her decent robes, or first-hand school-books, they would definitely have enough money to go out to the mall and buy her sexy muggle outfits. Speaking of sexy muggle outfits, Harry's mother, Lily Evans, had been a sexy muggle-born, and it just so happened that Ginny looked exactly like her. Even down to her eyes which Harry, upon further reflection, noticed were green instead of brown. Harry, being a pervert, was very pleased with Ginny's choice of clothing and immediately began to think impure thoughts about her. Harry probably also noticed that Ginny looked exactly like his mother, but didn't seem to care about the fact that Freud would have called all of this a classic example of the Oedipal Complex-"

"Wait a minute," Ron interrupted. "What the Hell's an Edible Complex?"

"It's "Oedipal" and it means that Harry wants to have sex with his mum," Hermione attempted to explain quickly.

Harry, who apparently also had not heard about Oedipus or his complex, looked horrified.

"On a sub-conscious level," soothed Ginny. "I was just making fun of how fanfiction writers have you being attracted to a gril who looks like your mum."

"But, you don't look like my mum," Harry attempted to defend himself.

"In fanfiction I do," reminded Ginny.

"Oh, that's right," remembered Harry.

"Anyway, carry on," commanded Hermione.

"Okay," continued Ginny,

"Speaking of Ginny resembling people's mothers, she also quite resembled her own mother, although not on a physical level. If she had, it would have been rather horrifying for Harry to see her in the outfit she was wearing. No, she was like Molly Weasley on a psychological level. And on the level that she would someday grow up to have a whole slew of kids.

And while we're on the topic of Molly and her kids, this would be a splendid time to explain Mrs. Weasley's reaction to Ginny's outfit and newfound habit of embracing Harry for long periods of time (it had already been 20 seconds and she was showing absolutely no sign of letting go). Her attitude toward the matter, of course, was to be very glad that Ginny was giving Harry what he needed. And of course, what Harry needed basically amounts to scantily clad young ladies hugging him. And what Ginny needed, reflected Molly, was to have a large number of children. And what better father for this large number of children than Harry Potter? Molly simply hoped that she could convince Harry to marry her daughter once he got her pregnant.

That's right, Molly in no way objected to prostitooting her daughter. Which is why it was pretty convenient that Ginny was rather experienced in this area, having dated pretty much every (non-Weasley) male Quidditch player at the school. Except for the Slytherins, because she just can't bring herself to date Slytherins. Not even in a fanfiction."

Ginny looked up. "How's that then?" she asked.

"Splendid. And I think that'll do it for tonight," Hermione said. "You see, our entry's already going to have over 700 words of text, not including author's notes, and if we make the chapters short, we'll get more reviews!"

"You are a review Nazi!" accused Ron. "And I thought we were supposed to start going out this chapter?"

"We're not dating this chapter because you called me a review-Nazi. And your erotic dance was also rather less alluring than I had hoped!" shouted Hermione. They exited the room, off to have another one of their famous Ron and Hermione arguments.

"So, I guess that leaves us to write the author's note then, eh?" asked Ginny, smiling.

"It would seem so," said Harry. "You were pretty harsh on yourself in your writing," he commented.

"Yeah, I've learned not to take myself too seriously. It's rather impossible to take oneself too seriously when one is constantly being the butt of one of Fred and George's practical jokes," said Ginny.

"So you haven't really dated every Quidditch player at the school?" he asked with mock-relief.

"Nope, and I'm not even really a prostitute," she confided. "I'm really rather charmingly chaste."

"That's good to know," joked Harry. Really, this girl was funny, charming, and didn't look like his mother in real-life. He considered again that he might in fact be developing a crush on her. But, there were more pressing matters at hand. There was another author's note that didn't appear to be writing itself. So, they gave in and decided that they would write it instead.

A/N: All right, after the little fiasco that just occurred with Ron, neither of us are stupid enough to offer anything in exchange for reviews. But, we still rather hope you review, if for no other reason than to appease Hermione. Remember, it's all okay for you out there reading about this on the internet, but we've actually got to live with her here for the rest of the summer, and she really is becoming rather dependent on her review-fix. So, come on!

A/N (from Gryffindor777): Right, well, I just hope I'm not offending anybody, and that nobody feels that I'm infringing on their stories by making fun of a concept that is included in a story of theirs. For instance, I have seen a story where Ginny has lots of kids, but I feel that this is justified enough by the books for me to use it as well, especially since I'm using the idea in such a different way than the person who used it in their story, which was not meant as a parody. I don't really think I'm doing anything wrong here, as all of this is fanfiction and none of the ideas are really our own anyway. But if someone thinks I'm impinging on their creative territory, they should let me know via e-mail and if you make a decent case, I'll remove the offensive reference. Although I think this might take away from any possible creative integrity I have managed to accrue. Oh well. Anyway, I'm glad I'm getting reviews on this, although I think it's weird how many more reviews per chapter I'm getting for this than on my Sixth Year fic even though this one's so much easier and fun to write. Thanks to everyone who has read up to this point and is now (hopefully) thinking of something to write in a review.