A/N: Well, another night, another chapter. I'm beginning to think I spend too much time at this, but, I didn't have to work today, so I had a lot of free-time, and so I figured I'd write a bit.

Chapter 5:

Things Get Really Angsty

The next night, Harry and Ginny arrived in the computer room previously to Hermione and Ron. When Ron and Hermione came in, Hermione was smiling broadly. And she didn't even run straight to the computer to check whether there were any reviews. Apparently, she had more important things on her mind, which was something that Ginny and Harry were quite relieved about. Maybe she wasn't a review-addict after all.

Hermione cleared her throat importantly. This was when Harry remembered that he and Ginny, although they had overheard Ron ask Hermione out at the end of their argument, had not officially been informed that Ron and Hermione were dating. The four of them hadn't been alone together yet today, and it seemed that Ron wasn't quite ready to tell the rest of his family that he was dating yet.

Anyway, Hermione spoke up and said, "Ron and I are going together now."

Harry and Ginny looked at each other. "Yeah, we know," said Harry simply, figuring there was no reason to deny it.

Hermione looked at him confused. "I mean, we're going out in real life. Not just in the fanfiction."

Harry and Ginny exchanged glances again, and Ginny's eyes seemed to say, "Maybe we're supposed to act surprised?" The author realizes that this is a pretty complex thing for Ginny's eyes to be able to express, but figures that this is the only way for her to get her point across. Unless the author wants to give Harry the power of telepathy. Which the author thinks would be a ridiculous thing to do, even in a parody. So we're just going to assume that Ginny has some very expressive green eyes. Or, wait. Ginny's eyes are brown. But still. Very expressive.

So, Harry, apparently agreeing with Ginny's eyes, said, "Oh. We hadn't realized you meant that. Congratulations!"

"Yeah, we definitely hadn't seen that coming for the past two years!" claimed Ginny, who was apparently not a very good actress.

Ron and Hermione, however, didn't seem to notice. "Anyway, I suppose that we ought to write our author's note and work on the next chapter," said Hermione unconcernedly.

So, they soon produced the following author's note.

"A/N: Thanks to all of our readers and reviewers, but especially the reviewers. Now for our responses to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

Rubber-duckiesofdoom: Ron is glad you appreciated the reclaimer. Good luck w/ the audition, by the way.

Hermioneballerina: We're all glad you're enjoying it, also, we hope this chapter satisfies your desire for more Harry-angst.

Tinkerbell: We're glad you liked it. (A/N from Gryffindor777: That line was my favorite of the chapter too.)

ThreatenedWriter: Of course Hermione isn't doing this all herself. In fact, she's not even writing this author's note, this is actually Harry. But we're all glad you think it's funny.

Koryan'shea: We're glad you liked it.

Voicesinmyhead12: We're glad you liked it, and good luck with those voices.

Mimbulus: We're glad this is amusing.

ash vault garden: Well... Hermione appreciates the concern. But she assures you that she's not addicted to reviews. Anymore.

hitchk: we're glad you like it, even if it's not serious.

RupertLover14: Yeah, Ron/Hermione arguments are hilarious. I hope they don't stop now that they're going together.

GrannyAdams: Ron's glad you liked his dance. (Gryffindor777 would like to claim that the chapter really wasn't all that short. 2000 words is not short. Which means that this chapter isn't short either. And even if it is, at least it's a quick update.)

"All right," said Harry. "That should do it for the author's note. What's going on in this chapter?"

"Well, we have to have a little bit more about your shattered emotional state. You've got to be really stand-offish towards everybody, and angry, because that's the only way that fanfiction writers can think to have you express your emotions of sadness. You've also got to be really nervous about telling us all about the prophecy, which you think will drastically change the way we think about you," said Hermione.

Harry's jaw had dropped. "Wait. How do you know about the prophecy? I haven't told you about it yet!" said Harry, surprised.

"We've read the books," said Hermione patiently.

"And, then they told me about them," added Ron, in a voice of total calm.

"But-" Harry sputtered. "Doesn't that frighten you? Or... effect you emotionally in some way?"

"Well... Frankly, we're a bit confused as to how it's not old news," clarified Ron.

"What do you mean?" said Harry.

"Well, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (or one of his alter-egos) has attacked you in four out of the past five years. We kind of figured that if he kept going at that rate, at some point one of you would kill the other. And that's all the prophecy said, really. Frankly, we'd have been more surprised if the prophecy had said Snape was going to wash his hair," explained Ginny.

"That's kind of a good point," said Harry, after several moments of reflection.

"So, anyway, at the beginning of this chapter, you've still got to be all angsty, and stand-offish, and have got to find some reason to yell at each me, Ginny, and Ron. Once you've done that, we can have the plot thicken. Which we're definitely going to do this chapter, no matter how long it takes," said Hermione. "Oh, and right. When you're talking about the prophecy, remember that the fanfiction community for some reason assumes that you're going to feel really bad about the prospect of "murdering" the Dark Lord. Also, to complement your angst-ridden nature, you can use subtle literary devices like mood-reflecting weather and deaths of small animals, which symbolize the way that you're dying inside."

"I don't much like writing myself as an angry/depressed/angst-ridden fellow... How long do we have to keep this up?" asked Harry.

"Not for too much longer. Probably next chapter, after a paragraph or two more of that nervous romantic tension that fanfiction-writers love so much, Ginny will comfort you and give you a positive outlook on life. She is fully capable to solve any man's problems owing to the famous Weasley temper, which must be included in all fanfictions that even mention Ginny's name, and the fact that she was possessed by Riddle in her first year," stated Hermione.

"Ah, ok. Just so long as I don't have to be depressed for too much longer," said Harry cheerfully. Then, he began to type.

"The weather outside the next morning was lousy, just like Harry's mood. The weather didn't always coincide with Harry's mood, only when the author really felt it necessary to communicate that mood to the readers whom the author apparently assumes are really thick-headed. But, in case the reader did not pick up on the subtle weather symbolism, the author will also spell it out for him or her. Harry was, once again, very angst. Or, angsty. Or, angst-ridden. Or something. Anyway, he was in a vary bad mood.

The reason for his bad mood, of course, was the Prophecy, as well as the death of his godfather. The death of his godfather had been like the end of the world for Harry, even though he had only known him for two years and had hardly ever seen him even during that time. Still, when Sirius had died, a large part of Harry had died as well. And, with this stupid prophecy, it didn't seem like it'd take much thyme for the rest of Harry to die as well.

Part of him (the part that wasn't dead yet) felt that it might be a good idea to talk to Ron, Hermione, and Ginny about this prophecy. After all, they'd want to help him in whatever way they could. But, of course, Harry could not allow them to do this. Because he didn't want help. He didn't want to kill Voldemort. Because that would make him a murderer. Even if Voldemort did deserve to die. Deserve it very much in fact. That didn't matter, because according to some very deranged logic, even if Harry killed Voldemort in self-defense, it'd still be murder.

Harry was contemplating his bad mood when Ron and Hermione walked in.

"Harry," Ron asked, "is there anything you want to talk to us about?"

Harry emediately began to yell, because, obviously, Ron had crossed a line. "You two don't care about my feelings! Nobody does! You just expect me to do battle with the dark-lord who everybody thought I vanquished when I was a year old and you don't care what it does to me inside! You should all be ashamed!" Harry finished, panting from his excessive use of exclamation marks.

"Er, right," said Ron, as he and Hermione left the room.

Moments later, Ginny came into the room. "I understand what you're going through," said Ginny compassionately, trying very hard to help Harry.

"No you don't! Nobody does! Nobody understands how I feel! Especially, it would seem, the average writer on fanfiction dot net!" screamed Harry.

Ginny left too. Harry, after panting some more from the exclamation marks, went and killed Errol, the Weasley's old owl, to symbolize how he was dying inside."

"Er, well, if nothing else, you got quite a few typoes in there," congratulated Hermione.

"Well, that was pretty exhausting. It's definitely someone else's turn," said Harry.

"I'll have a go," offered Ginny.

"Sounds good," stated Ron.

"All right, just... thicken the plot by giving Harry some new powers. It doesn't much matter what they are exactly since we won't necessarily have to use them in the course of the plot. This is because most fanfiction authors forget about the new powers that Harry acquired over the summer by the time the school year starts. Fanfiction writers do not have very good memories," said Hermione.

So Ginny began to type.

"And then, the plot thickened."

Ginny looked up apologetically. "Wait, that was kind of a transition wasn't it?" she asked.

"Borderline," agreed Hermione. "But don't worry about it. Just be more careful from now on."

Ginny continued to type.

"Harry suddenly realized that he had killed Errol without using his wand. But then he remembered that that wasn't all that impressive considering that the way he had killed the owl was by beating it over the head repeatedly with his broomstick. And let's face it, it doesn't take any special powers to kill an owl with a brumestick, especially if the owl is as decrepit as Url. But after he realized that, he was able to levitate his broomstick back over to his trunk without using his wond to do so. Somewhat amazed at his newfound ability, he then levitated some pillows across the room with a flick of his wrist. Then, he transfigured the pillows into galleons. Also without using a wand. And, after thinking for a moment, he performed a very complex spell which he had never heard of (but knew anyway) to render any magic he performed undetectable by the Ministry, because it simply would not do for him to be kicked out of school this year. Conveniently, this spell also worked retroactively so that the first few spells he performed were also undetected. He was just that good.

His newfound powers took his mind off his angst for a little while. Hence, the weather cleared up a bit, and Pigwidgeon did not have to face an untimely death. Still, his angst was not that far away, and would probably resurface again soon. Because, let's face it, turning pillows into galleons and back again can only entertain someone for a certain amount of time. Probably about five minutes. And after that, his angst would probably come back, and he'd have to be comforted in a far more decisive manner. But, that can wait until next chapter."

"All right, that should do it," stated Hermione. "And bravo on the spelling errors. So, who wants to type the closing authors' note?"

"I'll pass," said Ron, not relishing another round of hunt and peck.

"Why don't you do it, Hermione?" asked Ginny. "You haven't written anything this chapter."

"Okay," said Hermione.

"A/N: Harry, Ginny, my boyfriend Ron (ooh, it's fun to type that), and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And even though I am no longer addicted to reviews, I still wouldn't mind some... At any rate, we won't keep you waiting long for the next chapter."

A/N (from Gryffindor777): All right, that was fun. When I started writing the chapter, I wasn't sure I even had enough jokes to put in this chapter, but things that I, at least, thought were somewhat amusing kept popping into my head. So, if you've found them somewhat amusing too, I encourage you to review and let me know. And if you don't like it, feel free to tell me that too. Once again, thanks to everyone who's read this far. Because even though this would be fun to write just for myself even if I were not posting it, I have a feeling it'd be harder to justify spending this much time on it if nobody was reading it.