A/N: I really want to continue this story for awhile, but I'm having a problem. See, whenever I'm reading a lousy fanfiction of the type that inspired this parody, I tend not to get too far into the school-year (on the off-chance that the author actually keeps interested for long enough to allow the story to progress that far). So I'm having a bit of trouble thinking of things to make fun of later in the story. If anybody can think of any cliches that I can include, feel free to e-mail me or leave them in a review. Of course, if I use your idea in a chapter, I'll be sure to give you credit within the author's note for the chapter in question.

Chapter 7:

O.W.L. Results

The next evening, Ginny and Harry once again were the first to arrive in the computer room.

Ginny decided to strike up some conversation, saying, "Hmm... so this will be the first full chapter in which our fanfiction counterparts are dating. Just too bad yours took so long to break the ice."

"Yeah," said Harry. And, in that moment, his mind temporarily broke, or must have, in order to explain the following lapse of memory. See, Harry had once again forgotten that Dean and Ginny were dating, and said, before he had a chance to think about it (don't you just hate it when that happens?), "Yeah, it is such an obvious pairing though, isn't it? Kinda makes you wonder why we're not going out in real-life."

Ginny put on a false look of surprise, even though she had been planning for Harry to say something much like what he had just said (sly one, that Ginny). "But, Harry," said Ginny innocently, "in real life, Dean and I haven't broken up yet."

Harry, who apparently hadn't caught the hint contained within the word "yet" immediately became pale and embarrassed as he said, "Oh damn, I forgot about that!"

Ginny then continued in her voice of false innocence, "But, Harry... You're not disappointed that Dean and I are still dating, are you?"

Harry began to sputter a reply when Ron and Hermione entered the room. Ginny gave Harry a "we'll finish up this conversation later" look with her previously mentioned very expressive eyes of indeterminate color as Ron and Hermione sat down.

"So, Ron," said Ginny in an effort to cover the awkward silence that had settled on the room since Harry had stopped sputtering, "do you think you can get through tonight's chapter without saying anything that's going to get you in trouble?"

Ron reddened slightly but mumbled, "I think so."

"Oh, that was my fault," said Hermione, "I was just being a little bit oversensitive." A little? wondered Harry, although he thought that on the balance, it was rather mature of Hermione to be able to admit that. Harry decided that even if things had worked out between him and Cho, she would not have been nearly that mature. He momentarily wondered whether Ginny would be an easy girlfriend to get along with before he forced himself to stop thinking about it. He didn't want to get his hopes up. She hadn't offered to break up with Dean... she just sounded politely curious about why Harry should care. But... honestly... Dean and Ginny would probably break up soon enough anyway, right? She had been dating Michael Corner for, what, a few months?

Harry forcibly refocused his attention on the current situation, just as Ginny was asking, "So, do you want me to type the beginning author's note again?"

"Might as well," said Hermione.

Ginny began to type:

A/N: Once again, thanks to our reviewers. And now to respond to those who reviewed the last chapter:

Rebekahek: We will definitely try to include a fake make-up scene somewhere. Perhaps fanfiction Harry can think fanfiction Ginny is cheating with fanfiction Neville. Because Neville really deserves some action, even if it is only in fanfiction, and even if it is only a misunderstanding and didn't actually happen. (Gryffindor777 would like to comment that parodies are so much easier to write than serious fics, as I know from my still in progress attempt at a sixth year fic. Being able to write a parody does not mean that I'm intelligent, simply that I'm a smart-aleck.)

Lizzie Iz Bizzie: Good luck with getting your stories up, and the story that Harry, Hermione, Ron, and I are writing will probably include the whole school year, although the amount of time per chapter will probably increase as time goes on.

humblelilbookworm: We're glad you like the story, and we're glad you like the typoes. We enjoy them a bit too much.

mimbulus: Yeah, the birthday party is always an amusing part of the stories. About the boyfriend thing... I'm working on it.

ash vault rose garden: Heh... w00tness, eh? Great word. Yeah, we'll definitely keep writing.

gigifanfic: Who's doing a satire? Do you mean to say that fanfics aren't supposed to contain all these cliches?

voicesinmyhead12: We're glad you still like it and yeah, there will be at least several more chapters.

koryanshea: I don't think Hermione would ever be outright violent... and I also think she secretly enjoys it when we eavesdrop on her. Otherwise, why would she talk so loudly?

rupertlover14: We're glad you're back and would like to wish you good luck w/ your chocolate fix.

grangerlovesweasley: Yeah, British slang is great, although you'd think we'd use it more in our dialogue... Gryffindor777 (whose existence I should not know about) must be American.

"Okay... now onto the rest of the chapter. We'll get the O.W.L. results, at least. Why don't you write this bit, Ron?" asked Hermione.

"I'm really no good at typing," Ron said.

"Oh, well... do you want to dictate what you want to say and I'll type it?" Hermione asked.

"All right, sure," agreed Ron.

"Okay, let's just go over the rules for this section awhile. First of all, Harry's results must be good enough to allow him to take all the classes he'd need to be an auror," Hermione said.

"But," Harry said, "there's no way I got an Outstanding in Potions, even though that's what Snape requires. An exceeds expectations would be pushing it, even."

"Well, however many fanfiction writers can actually read will have gathered that from the description of you taking the potions test in book five. However, they will tactfully ignore this description on the grounds that it's easier to write you as having an "Outstanding" score than to figure out a way to get around Snape's rule. In spite of the fact that most fanfictioners think of themselves as "aspiring writers" many of them show very little sign of actual imagination. Another reason why Harry needs to get an "O" is that otherwise, our story will probably get flames from fans telling us that Harry would never get anything below Outstanding in Potions, even though he was normally a pretty poor student in it. It's almost as if they feel that a personal friend of theirs is being insulted. Many fanfictioners are of the opinion that Harry must be perfect. Which is probably for the best considering that if he were not perfect, he'd be a complex character. And most fanfiction writers are simply not qualified to handle complex characters, especially in the lead role."

"But haven't we already violated that rule?" asked Harry. "We've already made it perfectly clear that our fanfiction version of me is an absolute pervert who sees girls as nothing more than objects..."

"Yeah, well, apparently this is what fanfiction writers expect of you, considering that you're a teenage boy, and fanfictioners seem to believe that all teenage boys are perverts. Except, of course, for the ones who see you as being gay. In which case you instead see Draco, Snape, and perhaps Crabbe and Goyle as nothing more than objects instead. But you get the picture," said Hermione.

"More of a picture than I had wanted, in fact," said Harry, apparently grossed out by the suggestion that he might like Draco, Snape, or (honestly!) Crabbe and Goyle.

"So, anyway, you've got to get great scores, and Ron has got to get good scores too, although he doesn't necessarily need to get an 'O' in potions (although some writers apparently still see this as a possibility) because not all writers believe he will become an auror," said Hermione cautiously, hoping not to offend Ron.

"Oh well... I probably won't get an 'O' in it, but we may as well write it as if I will," said Ron.

"Okay. And apparently," said Hermione, "I've got to get O's in everything. Which, of course, you and Ron are extremely annoyed at. This chapter, of course, would also be a great time to work in a joke about S.P.E.W. (perhaps when we're discussing our career goals) or 'Hogwarts a History.' Or both. Apparently, fanfiction writers really like to make fun of me," finished Hermione, looking somewhat saddened by this.

"Oh, it's all right, Hermione," Ron comforted awkwardly, because he was pretty sure that was the right thing to do. Well. The comforting part anyway, not so much the "awkwardly" part, but some things just couldn't be helped.

"Well," anyway, go ahead, said Hermione, preparing to type what Ron said. For the purposes of still being able to include typoes, the following text is to be understood as being what is typed by Hermione, not what is said by Ron, because it makes less sense to have typoes in speech than in typing.

"Immediately after Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny dried off from being in the pool, lake, or shallow puddle that they had been swimming in, Hogwarts O.W.L.'s delivered their owl scores and supplies lists. In an effort to build suspense, the author will decline to immediately reveal the scores but instead will take a moment to describe Harry's emotions. He was very nervous, because he knew that there was no way in the world that he could have achieved the required 'oh!' on his potions test and thus would not be able to become an arorarur. But, of course, when thinking of possible factors that might bring his potions grade up to the required level, he had not counted on the whims of fanfiction writers. The feelings of Ron and Hermione will not be discussed at this point, owing to the fact that no fanfictioner really cares what Ron gets on his tests, and everybody already knows what Hermione got."

At this point Ron paused, which gave Hermione a chance to say, "Wow... you're including some stuff that's in fanfiction but I forgot to mention about. How'd you know about the cheap suspense building tactics?"

"Er... well... I was bored last night, so I decided that I'd try this whole 'reading for pleasure' thing you're always on about... Considering that I don't own any decent books that are about something other than Quidditch, I decided to give the site a try. So, I discovered some of the insanity of fanfiction on my own," said Ron.

"That's really nice that you've decided to try reading. Although fanfiction's probably not the best place to start. I've got some books I could lend you..." Hermione trailed off, practically bursting with pride at the fact that she had finally convinced Ron to read something that he wasn't forced to.

"Oh, what a cute romantic moment," said Harry somewhat irritably, rolling his eyes. It wasn't that he wasn't happy that Ron and Hermione were getting along, it was just that once again the fact that he was the only person in the room who was single was annoying him. "But, why don't you two finish this nice little conversation when there aren't two other people in the room?"

So, Ron continued to dictate as Hermione continued to type.

"Harry opened his male and found the following list of scores which is undoubtedly incomplete owing to the fact that the author can obviously not be bothered to look back in the books to reference which classes Harry actually took.

Astronomy- Exceeds Expectations (who cares that he hadn't been concentrating on the exam?).

Care of Magical Creatures- Outstanding (because during that one, he was paying attention).

Charms- Exceeds Expectations (Because he can't get all O's or it won't be as impressive when Hermione does)

Defense Against the Dark Arts: Outstanding (Fine, this one might actually be realistic).

Divination: Exceeds Expectations (Because the author can't remember what the other scoring options were).

Potions: Outstanding (Because potions has always been easy for Harry).

Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations (Just to keep the pattern going, at this point...)

Completely unphased by the fact that this list was missing several of his subjects, Harry exchanged lists with Ron, to see what he had gotten. The list read:

Astronomy- Poor (Because the author conveniently remembered some of the lower scores where Ron was concerned.)

Care of Magical Creatures- Oustanding (Why not?)

Charms- Acceptable (Because fanfiction writers don't feel that Ron is the brightest tool in the shed... wait, I think that's what it was... I'm not great with muggle sayings... Hermione, why haven't you stopped typing? Whatever...)

Defense Against the Dark Arts: Outstanding (Because all members of the D.A. have to get Oustanding scores).

Divination: Exceeds Expections (Because Trelawney had really managed to get through to him and teach him something.)

Potions: Outstanding (Because Ron wants to be an awroarer too!)

Transfiguration: Excceeds Expections (Sure, why not?)

"Did you get all O's?" Ron asked Hermione, sure he knew what the answer would be.

"No," said Hermione embarrassedly.

"Really?" asked Harry, "what'd you get?"

"Well, half my scores were O's but the rest were 'R' for 'Really Freaking Excellent.' It's a new grade that they made up just for me," Hermione said.

Ron groaned. Even though they had now been going out for several chapters, he still got annoyed by her perfect academic record sometimes. "Well, you could be anything you wanted, couldn't you?" he asked. "What are you going to do with yourself once your out of school?"

"Well, I will of course do something with the Ministry, something where I can address social injustice!" said Hermione proudly, using an exclamation mark because doing so makes this chapter seem more exciting.

"Oh good, then maybe you'll be able to create more activist societies with acronyms describing things to do when they're sick!" said Ron, also using an exclamation mark in an attempt to keep himself awake through this rather boring conversation.

"You'd think with brains like yours, you'd know enough to know that House elves are happy how they are," said Harry.

"Unfortunately, she spends too much time reading 'Hogwarts a History' to have time to use her common sense," added Ron. "In fact, with all her reading and studying she probably doesn't have any time to think about or do anything else! Really Hermione, sometimes you make me sick with your great grades!"

At this point Ron stopped. Not only had he finished the part of the story that he had been asked to furnish, but he could see Hermione was getting slightly upset. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, it's just... you're pretty good at describing yourself as being sickened by my grades. You don't really think I'm over-occupied with school work and reading, do you?" Hermione asked.

"No, of course not," said Ron in a way that was apparently convincing enough to fool Hermione. "No, I really admire you for how motivated you are. Sometimes I wish I could be more like you."

Harry stifled a laugh because he didn't want to ruin the effect. Hermione seemed to be buying it, and Ron seemed to have worked his way around an argument with Hermione. Wow, Ron really was getting better at this whole relationship game. He was doing better than his usual new-born skrewt emotional maturity level; he was now on the level of at least an adolescent skrewt.

"Well, I think that's enough for tonight," said Hermione after thinking for a moment.

"What?" asked Harry, somewhat surprised. "I thought we were supposed to include our trip to Diagon Alley in this chapter too?"

"That's all right, fanfiction writers are always failing to include what they're supposed to in chapters. So, we'll arrive at Hogwarts in chapter 9 instead of chapter 8. No big deal really," said Hermione.

"Well, all right," said Harry.

"I'll write the author's note, I suppose," said Hermione, as she began to type.

"A/N: All right, well, that's it for this chapter. Sorry to anyone who's anxious to see us get our characters to Hogwarts, but it should happen soon. The description of the O.W.L. results took longer than expected. Really, we, like other fanfiction writers, seem to have no control over what actually gets typed and what doesn't. Oh well, review if you feel like it, and we'll continue soon."

Now, although the author knows that until this point, he has finished the chapter basically right after the ending authors' note from the characters, he feels compelled to continue this chapter to include the conversation which Ginny and Harry had once Hermione and Ron had left the room. He hopes you don't mind. He also is curious as to why he seems to feel compelled to write in the third person.

Anyway, once Hermione and Ron left the room, Harry looked awkwardly at Ginny. "Er, about what I said earlier..." Harry struggled to think what to say next and decided that he probably should have thought of the end of the sentence before saying the beginning of it. Then, in a sudden burst of inspiration, he said, "I was just joking about us going together!"

"Oh," said Ginny, sounding disappointed. "You were?"

The author, who is still on this third person kick for reasons that he does not wish to explore at the moment, is aware that in traditional Harry/Ginny fics, this conversation should end with Harry confirming that he was just joking so that the awkward tension between the two could continue for another several weeks. However, the author does not feel like drawing the process out for quite so long, and therefore will allow Harry to actually detect the disappointed tone in Ginny's voice. Why not? He's not deaf or anything. So, Harry said, "No, I wasn't joking. I was just trying to cover up for making myself look stupid." He said this because the conversation will go quicker if he is really blunt.

"Oh, well, you'd look even more stupid if you let me continue my relationship with Dean just because you're too shy to admit your feelings," she said.

"Wait, are you saying that you'll break up with Dean?" asked Harry hopefully.

"Well, I was probably going to anyway. He hasn't been responding to my owls," confided Ginny.

"Oh. Well..." Harry trailed off awkwardly. "I'm sorry that that relationship didn't work out for you."

"You are?" asked Ginny, confused.

"Well, no. Not really. I'm actually rather glad, but figured it would be rude to admit that. But, er... will you go out with me?" he asked, realizing at the last moment that he was not really sure how he was supposed to phrase his request for Ginny to be his girlfriend. He hoped he hadn't sounded too stupid.

"Sure, of course," said Ginny.

A/N: All right, this chapter was a bit long, but I think it was decent. Maybe. Well... that's for you all to decide really, so let me know what you think!