A/N: I have nothing to say to anybody at this point. Just read on.

Chapter 8:

Diagon Alley and Alpacas

"Well, I guess tonight we ought to tell Hermione and Ron that we're dating," said Harry the next night when Harry and Ginny once again arrived in the computer room prior to Hermione and Ron.

"Yeah, I don't think they'll be too surprised though... Well, Hermione won't be anyway, because I think she knew that I still had feelings for you, and I wouldn't be surprised if she picked up on your crush for me before I did. We can't rule out the possibility that Ron will be surprised though, because it really doesn't take much to surprise him. Some mornings he's surprised by his own reflection in the mirror."

Harry laughed in a slightly uncomfortable manner which led Ginny, whom the author has decided will be unusually perceptive in this chapter, to realize something was wrong. As a result, she looked at Harry appraisingly. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Well... you don't think Ron will be upset that I'm dating you, do you?" he asked tentatively.

Before Ginny could say "Of course not!" Ron and Hermione walked in the room.

Neither Harry nor Ginny were struck with any sudden inspiration as to how to start this conversation.

"Er..." started Harry in a rather tentative manner.

Ginny, armed with her newfound perceptiveness, understood that there was really nothing to be unsure about, so she said, "Er..." in a much more confident manner.

For a moment, it seemed like they just might be planning to leave the conversation at that, when Hermione decided to help out. "So, I've noticed the two of you have been being rather shifty lately... almost as if you're hiding something. What might that be?"

Harry grinned awkwardly, "Well... it might be that I finally realized what I've been missing out on and asked Ginny out last night..."

"Might it?" asked Hermione, smiling knowingly.

"Yeah, that's it," said Ginny. After giggling slightly, she added, "Although you wouldn't believe how many hints it took from my end before he acted on it."

Hermione smiled at Ron before saying, "I can't imagine what that must have been like."

Ron, apparently oblivious to Hermione's sarcasm, said, "You've broke up with Dean then? It's about time!"

"Oh, you're right! It is about time I should break up with Dean... I'll send him an owl in the morning," said Ginny, blushing slightly.

"So, Ron, you're okay with this and everything?" asked Harry.

"Of course I am," said Ron reassuringly. "You're my best mate. Just make sure you treat her-- Never mind, of course you'll treat her right!"

"Well... speaking of Ron finding out that Harry's dating Ginny, you'll notice that Ginny was hardly even mentioned in the last chapter, so it looks like we'll have to have you guys tell the rest of us during this chapter. But first, let's do the author's note. Harry, do you want to type it?"

"Sure," said Harry as he settled down at the computer chair. He began to type.

"A/N: Well, in case you're curious, we're now 2 for 2 as far as pairings go, as I am now dating the beautiful Ginny Weasley, thus meaning both of the pairings we've put in our fanfiction have now materialized. Perhaps we can abuse this strange matchmaking power we seem to have acquired in later chapters, but first we must respond to all of the lovely (we assume) people who reviewed last chapter.

hrrypttrfan: Thanks for the review. (Gryffindor777 wonders vaguely whether you're being sarcastic about liking that all the characters write in the same tone, as this is something that I probably would change about the story if I had enough skill. But I'll assume that you're not being sarcastic, because it's more fun that way...)

princessangel-star: I too am glad I didn't drag out the awkwardness.

skittles: Ron thanks you and will strive to be as sensitive as the squid.

rubberduckiesofdoom: Thanks for the review!

Lizzieizbizzie: Hermione says she'd love to be pregnant! In fanfiction, I assume. And thanks for the "R"!

MelianMaia: Thanks, we're glad it's funny.

ashvaultrosegarden: Thanks for the encouragement. And we've had plenty of sugar!

threatenedwriter: Thanks, and yeah, fanfiction Hermione/Ron will find out this chapter, although it's a good thing you reminded us, we'd kind of forgotten to write that part.

Queenbee14: Ron says he's working on the controlling his mouth thing...

Mimbulus: Ginny says she now realizes how oblivious I am, due to her newfound perceptiveness during this chapter. I, however, am vaguely offended by all this.

humblelilbookworm: We're glad you like it.

To everyone: Thanks for the suggestions that you put in your reviews, they should come in useful during later chapters."

"All right, that's it for the author's note. Now, onto the chapter! What we've got to do this chapter is have Harry and Ginny reveal their relationship and we've all got to go to Diagon Alley. This is when Fred and George make their first appearance. This is also a good chapter in which to mention all of Ron's other siblings, which most fanfiction authors feel necessary to do at least once in a story, so as to prove that they know everything there is to know about Ron's family. Sometimes, it seems that fanfiction authors think that the objective of fanfiction is to show off their knowledge of the books rather than to be creative themselves. They call this unnecessary showing of useless knowledge "keeping to canon." Anyway, we might as well also have all of Ron's brothers back him up in being overprotective of Ginny. According to fanfiction rules, once Ron is informed of the fact that Harry's dating his sister, he becomes completely irrational and forgets that Harry is his friend. During this conversation, Ron must mention the term 'scarlet woman.' He must also apparently labor under the assumption that neither Ginny nor Harry can control their hormones and that therefore when they say 'dating' they mean 'having sex.' So, anyway... Why don't we start out with the conversation during which Harry and Ginny tell us they're dating? We can come up with this as a group, and each of us can basically come up with our own lines," suggested Hermione.

So, within a few minutes, the following had been typed by way of a team effort which shall not be described but which strongly involved giggling (on the part of the girls... Ron and Harry would much rather if their laughs were described as a more masculine chuckle. Or a chortle. Perhaps a "guffaw" even. But not a giggle.) and large amounts of unnecessary gesticulation.

"Finding themselves completely without suitable transition, Harry and Ginny decided to inform Hermione and Ron of their new relationship. However, before they had a chance to do that, they accidentally allowed Ron and Hermione to walk in on them snogging. Deciding that this was as effective a way as any other to broach the subject, they began to discuss the topic at hand.

"So," said Harry, blushing nervously. "It looks like Ginny and I are dating..."

"Yes, so it does," said Ron, who was also blushing, though in a more ferocious, overly protective older brother way.

"Er... I'm sorry?" asked Harry uncertainly.

"No!" said Ginny passionately (because that's the only way to explain the exclamation point). "We can't let Ron stand in the way of our burgeoning relationship!"

"This is getting entirely overdramatic!" complained Hermione. "Ron, can't you be sensible?"

"Of course not! If I were to act sensible in a fanfiction then there would be less comedic relief! And less exclamation points!" said Ron.

"Be that as it may," said Harry patiently, "Ginny and I are dating."

"You're a scarlet woman!" announced Ron, pointing vaguely in an indeterminate direction.

"Well, you're a maroon toothbrush!" Harry shot back.

"That didn't even make sense! But I was talking to Ginny anyway," said Ron.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that!" stated Harry hotly.

"I can't believe you're having sex with my sister!" shouted Ron.

"I'm what?" asked Harry startled.

"You heard me!" accused Ron, although he wasn't sure that this could be considered an accusation.

"You're mad!" stated Harry.

"You're shagging my sister!" accused Ron. This was an accusation.

Harry was going to respond to this, but was robbed of the opportunity when Mrs. Weasley came into the room. She had apparently heard the whole conversation, as she was brimming with excitement.

"Oh, that's wonderful," she stated. "Ginny's got quite a quota of children to fill, she'd better start young. I was quite hoping this would happen! Remember not to use any form of birth control!"

At this, Ron was quite unsure of what exactly he should say. Then, he suddenly remembered that he had brothers. He owled them all immediately, informing them all that Ginny would probably be pregnant in a matter of weeks if something wasn't done soon."

"All right... I think that should do it for the conversation. Now we've got the trip to Diagon Alley. We're going to have all of Ron's siblings come on the trip, except for Fred and George, whom we will meet at the joke shop. According to fanfiction rules, they've all got to lecture Harry about dating their sister. They all start out very overprotective, but eventually get won over. We might as well write this bit cooperatively too, but I'll type," said Hermione. "The basic function of the bit about Fred and George, aside from them pulling a completely uncharacteristic overprotective brother trick, is to add some humor to the story. However, as most fanfiction writers have no apparent sense of humor, they resort to overly dramatic situational humor. Also, for cheap comedic effect, at least 3 different objects must blow up. Also, all the characters must laugh at parts of the story that aren't really funny. This is basically the equivalent of a laugh-track for writing. Fanfiction writers do not object to using it because the fanfiction community, as a whole, has no shame. Anyway, off we go!" finished Hermione as she prepared to type. After some more talking and gesticulation (which is a really fun word) the following end to the chapter was produced.

"After having jumped forward in time several weeks, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione were ready to head off to Diagon Alley. Bill, Charlie, and Percy (whom was now speaking to the rest of his family again on the grounds that the Weasley brothers felt it necessary to present a common front against the issue of Ginny's apparent inability to keep herself from getting pregnant) decided to come with them so that they would be able to talk to Harry and Ginny along with Fred and George.

After they arrived at the joke shop, all of the Weasleys plus Harry and Hermione went into a back room while Lee Jordan (who by fanfiction rules must work at the twins' joke-shop on the assumption that he has nothing better to do) covered the store.

"So, what's this I hear about you getting my little sister pregnant?" asked Fred suspiciously.

"I have not gotten her pregnant! Although we have kissed a few times. But I've never heard of that getting someone pregnant, not even in a fanfiction! So you've got nothing to worry about," explained Harry in a tone which indicated that he was losing his patience.

"Harry, even if you're not getting her pregnant, we still need to talk," said George in a tone more serious than he would ever actually be able to manage.

"We think you're a prat," stated Percy. "And we think you should stay away from our sister."

"We've never really liked you, and we think that you're only using Ginny to satisfy your hormonal urges. We know you'll only end up hurting her. So we think that you ought to stop seeing her before she gets too attached. Not that she hasn't been rather hopelessly infatuated with you since her first year. Even so, we believe that if you break it off now, she'll forget all about her long-standing obsession and be completely okay with it," stated Bill.

Charlie nodded, more to show that he did in fact exist rather than to actually agree with what Bill was saying.

Ginny spoke up. "But, you forget, Harry's actually a pretty swell guy. He's brave and good at dueling. Also, he does the right thing even if it means facing probable death, and he even saved my life once. I think there's a chance that he doesn't actually want to hurt me."

"Oh, yeah," said Ron, somewhat embarrassed. "I forgot about all of that. How stupid of me. But then, I always come off as rather stupid in fanfics, so I guess that I shouldn't be too surprised. At any rate, Harry, my scarlet woman of a sister is right. You are a pretty decent guy. I guess it'll be all right if you date my sister. And, maybe we should consider becoming friends at some point."

Everybody murmured their agreement, especially Charlie, who was still trying to confirm his existence.

At that moment, the authors realized that they had not gotten in the requisite overly-obvious attempts at humor, and so Lee Jordan began to knock frantically on the door.

"What is it?" asked Fred urgently, when he saw Lee's panicked face.

"The alpacas have escaped!" he shouted.

"Oh no!" exlaimed George.

"What're alpacas?" asked Ron in a confused voice.

"They're kind of like llamas," explained Hermione.

"What're they doing in Diagon Alley then?" asked Harry. "I thought they were native to

South America."

"We needed them to aid in the making of one of our new inventions. It's top secret, besides which the authors can't think of any invention clever enough for us to make, so I'm not going to tell you what the invention is," stated Fred.

"Still, we've got to catch the alpacas. Their lose in Digone Aley and are probbly causing a scene worthy of a less than funny attempt at humor as we speek!" stated Lee. (A/N: At this point, we remembered we had forgotten to insert typoes. So, we made up for it with this sentence.)

So, all of them (the number is large enough that the authors are disinclined to count it) left to chase the alpacas, leaving the shop completely unattended.

They found one of the alpacas running around with a chocolate sundae on its head. "Gives a whole new meaning to the term chocolate syrup doesn't it?" asked Percy in an exceptionally nonsensical attempt at a joke.

However, all of the other characters laughed in an oddly pre-recorded way to prove that this type of comment was what passed for humor in a fanfiction.

Harry pointed his wand at the chocolate sundae, which suddenly exploded. This frightened the first alpaca back into Fred and George's shop.

A second alpaca was running around in a rather hyper manner after consuming entirely too much chocolate. A streetlamp near the alpaca exploded for comedic effect.

Several minutes later, all the alpacas were back in the shop.

"I think this one's turned into a llama," announced George concernedly.

"How can you tell?" asked Ron.

"Yeah, what's the difference?" asked Harry.

"I don't know," said Fred, even though the question had been addressed toward George.

In response to this, everybody laughed, chuckled, guffawed, giggled, and chortled in hopes that the audience would do the same.

At this point, the characters realized that only two things had blown up instead of three as had been required. Therefore, Percy blew up because nobody liked him anyway.

Then, everybody remembered that the original reason they had all come to Diagon Alley was to get their school supplies, so they went ahead and did that."

"That was horrible," stated Ron, as they finished.

"That was the point," said Hermione.

"Whatever," said Ron.

"Anyway," said Ginny, "I guess we might as well put an author's note on the end."

"Okay, do you want to type it?" Hermione asked Ginny.

"Sure," said Ginny. And so she did. It read as follows.

"A/N: Right, well... that's enough of that. As promised, next chapter, we will be writing about ourselves catching the Hogwarts Express and making our way back to school. Thanks to everyone who's read this far... we hope you're having as much fun reading this as we are having writing it."

A/N from Gryffindor777: Right, well, there's that. I hope you liked it, and even if you didn't, it was still rather amusing to write.