After a few days of heavy, suffocating silence, Lily finally decided she had to get back on solid ground with her friends. If she didn't, she would spend her final months at Hogwarts castle in almost complete misery.

She chose a foggy Saturday morning that was miserably nasty outside, causing the common room to be crowded, loud, and stuffy. Millie and Lily had both chosen to study in their room, so it was simple enough for Lily to confront her friend. She suddenly chose a quiet moment to say, "Millie, I really want to talk to you."

"I don't want to hear an account of your date with Potter," Millie answered coldly, and something in Lily wanted to curl up and die.

"Please don't be like that. Just listen to me. Can you please just try?"

Millie looked up and stared at her for a few moments, and the set on her usually pretty face was distorted with an emotion Lily didn't recognize on her friend. Finally, Millie answered, "I'm sure this will be interesting."

"I'm tired of us fighting. I want to be friends again. We rode the boats across the lake together as first years, and we've been friends ever since I cried when my broom went out of control in first year. It's stupid we're letting a boy ruin that. Maybe if you liked him too, that would be a little more based, but you just don't like him. I understand and respect that, but I don't feel the same way. I have a wonderful time with him. I feel good when I'm with him, I can't even describe it. He makes me feel like I am the best at everything. Besides, he has changed so much. James is kinder and happier than I've ever seen him."

Millie watched the expression on Lily's face, and she too felt something in her want to curl up and die. "He's different with you. I can't see it, because with me, it isn't there. What I see is someone who is two different people. Who's to say he won't suddenly change with you one day? You're playing with fire, Lily Evans, and he will burn you."

"I accept that you think that, but can't we just ignore it and be friends again. I hate having you mad at me; I feel like you resent me."

Millie rolled her eyes and laughed a cool laugh, "Lily, how can you be so singularly unaware and naïve?"

"Sometimes life is easier if you don't look for the worst part of it."

"You realize how lucky you are. You have a life that so many people only dream of. I know you miss your parents, but a lot of people are missing so much more. You are the smartest witch in our year; your mind just wraps around this stuff and never let's go, and so many people like you. You have a tall, dark, and mean boyfriend. Your friend Amos is desperately in love with you, but you just shrugged him off and forget about him. You have everything a teenage girl could dream of. I would love to be you. Through all this, though, you act like a nobly wounded lioness that suffers through the pain, and you do it beautifully."

Through this speech, Lily had put her hands on her face and started breathing in deep breaths. "Is that what you really think of me? Do you think my life is so perfect I have to search to find something wrong? I've got to get out of here." She ran to the door and had it opened before she turned around. "No, wait, I'm staying. We have got to get this sorted out."

She stalked back to stand in front of Millie, and she was embarrassed to hear her voice quiver as she said, "I would trade anything I am or anything I have to have my parents back. I loved them so much. They were what made me who I am. Without them, I can't be the same Lily Evans. I thought giving up James would make me feel better, but it didn't. Nothing can take the pain away when I think of them. All I can do is try to have a life away from them and go on living. Do you not think I still miss them? I miss them so much I feel like I'm torn apart inside. Sometimes I smell something that reminds me of my mother, or I see something that I know my dad would find terribly witty. I know other people have lost parents, but when I lost them, I lost my entire world. I don't know where to go now. I don't belong in either world." As she finished, her voice was cutting in and out as she fought back the crippling sobs that threatened to overtake her. She stood in front of Millie with her head bowed, "Don't scorn me for missing my parents, and don't rebuke me for trying to find my own life."

"I didn't realize you felt that way," Millie answered softly.

"Maybe we can understand each other a little more now."

"Yeah, maybe we can."

Lily felt so tired and defeated she knew she couldn't stand being in Gryffindor Tower. She stopped consciously thinking, and instead grabbed James's Invisibility Cloak, the map he had given her, and a necklace of her mother's with a broken clasp. James had given her the freedom to use both the map and the cloak while she was at Hogwarts in case she wanted to leave, and he had no need for neither at the time. She imagined he meant in case she wanted to see him, but at the moment she had no desire to be around anybody. Lily simply didn't have the strength to be around anybody else.

She left through the Honedukes passage and first went to a clearing outside the Shrieking Shack. There, she sat on a large boulder and wept for what felt like an eternity. That was how Remus Lupin found her. He was leaving the old house with a large bundle of things in his arms, and he stopped when he heard the sound of somebody crying without a body to go along with it. He looked around warily, and started approaching the rock.

Lily quieted, hoping he would leave, but he kept coming. She reluctantly tugged the cloak from around her and said, "It's just me."

"Lily, what in the world is wrong? Is it…is it James?" Remus asked, immediately kneeling before her.

"I just, I just got in an argument with Millie and learned some unflattering things about myself. I just needed to leave; I couldn't bear it anymore, Remus. James lent me these things for me to leave the castle to see him, so I'm betraying his trust slightly, I suppose."

"I think James let you use those things because he knows you're having some problems right now and he just wants you to be happy. Everybody worries when you're upset. Even Peter becomes worried, and you know how dense he can be at times."

Lily half-laughed and half-sobbed.

"Here, why don't you come to the Three Broomsticks and have tea with me and a friend of mine. She's actually my girlfriend; I would like for you to meet her."

Remus sounded so proud Lily couldn't stand to say no. "I will, but I should take my mum's necklace by the jeweler's first. It needs fixed."

"I don't think that would be such a good idea right now. Come with me."

"Oh, alright. You better explain her that I'm not normally such a cry-baby."

"She's heard such wonderful things about you from James and I that I doubt anything could tarnish her picture of you."

"You are such a nerd, Remus. What do you have there?" she asked, indicating the bundle in his arms.

"Just some of my stuff from the Shack. I don't use it anymore, so I thought I should clear it out." Remus partially lied. It also had some of his friends' belongings that James had suggested they clear out before somebody, such as Lily, found it.

Sitting at the Three Broomsticks with a warm butterbeer made her feel about a thousand times better. Remus was talking, but she wasn't really listening to him. After crying a lot, she always felt a little hazy. She was seriously considering going back to the castle for a good nap when the door opened and James, Sirius, and a woman walked in, and all three of them were grinning like jackals.

Then they spotted Lily and Remus and looked supremely shocked.

Remus hastily walked over to the group, made some frantic motions and talked at a fast speed, and then grabbed the girl's hand. He dragged her over to Lily and said, "Lily, this is my girlfriend Aubrey, and Aubrey, this is the famous Lily Evans."

"Hi, Lily, I'm glad to finally meet you. I personally can't wait for you to get out of Hogwarts so I have some female respite from these imbeciles," Aubrey said with a soft smile that made Lily feel instantly calm and peaceful. Aubrey had to be one of the prettiest people ever. She had black-blue hair cut above her shoulders in curls, and her deep blue eyes made her face seem open and innocent.

"Umm, hello." Lily felt stupid tears well up in her eyes again and fought the urge to run from the room.

Luckily, James recognized her problem and came to stand beside her. "Do you want to go outside a minute and talk?"

Lily nodded mutely and very nearly bolted for the door. She was barely outside again before she was wrapped in James's arms and crying into his jumper. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be stupid, Lily. You've had a miserable day."

"How do you know?"

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out when you start crying and you snuck out of the castle even after the last bad turn. I'm glad I happened to be in town."

"Me too." She wiped her eyes and blew her nose on the tissue he offered her. "I really do apologize for that. I don't normally just cry like that."

"I know, and you don't ever need to apologize for being upset. Believe it or not, I don't hold it against you."

"Thanks. Maybe I should just go back to the castle."

"That sounds like a sterling idea; go back to where you're miserable. You've already spent the time leaving, why don't we try to make it a decent day. I'll buy you some candy if you're good."

"How wonderful of you," she said with a slight grin. "I guess we should go back inside with the others."

"Let's try it; you'll like Aubrey, I think."

So, James and Lily went back inside and sat down with the other three. Soon, Peter came in and joined them, and everybody continued watching James and Lily speculatively until James kicked Sirius under the table, and Sirius kicked Remus who pinched Aubrey who kicked Peter. They all stopped looking.

"So, what was everyone in town for?" Lily asked.

"Uhhh, we were uh," Sirius started.

"We were helping James buy a, um, a what's it?"

"They were helping me buy a present for my mother. Her birthday is coming up, you know," James answered suddenly.

"How wonderful, James. What did you guys decide on?"

"We haven't yet," Remus said.

"He has a shopping bag in his hand. Apparently he did decide."

"This would be some medicine for my bird. You remember Damon, don't you?"

"Yes, of course, but the pet shop has orange bags, not pink."

"Lily, listen carefully," James said. "These are pills for my bird because it has some sort of bug."

"Do you mean bug as in infestation or bug as in virus?"

"Lily!"

"Fine, I get the point. You don't want me to ask."

Once the group got settled down again, they decided to split up. Remus and Aubrey needed to do some shopping. Sirius had a dinner date, and Lily and James only had about an hour before Lily had to get back to the Honeydukes tunnel. The two of them chose just to walk through the residential portion of the village, where Lily probably wouldn't be recognized.

"When's your next Hogsmeade weekend?" James asked.

"Two Saturdays from now. It's the last one before summer."

James thought a moment before saying, "I want to show you something, and The Three Broomsticks will be really crowded. If you agreed, you could just Floo from there because I doubt anyone would notice in the jostle."

"What are you going to show me?"

"It's a surprise. Will you go? I promise it is entirely safe."

"Of course I will. I'll be dying of curiosity from now until then."

"Do try to hang on."

"If I must."

Since their plans were made, James went with her back to Honeydukes and watched her sneak into the back room.

The two weeks were going to seem treacherously long to him, also.

The Messy Flat of Sirius Black…

"Got it all planned out?" Sirius asked, munching on an apple and tossing another to James.

"I think so. As well as I can plan this, at least. I think I can predict her reaction, but just when I think I've got her pegged, Lily always throws in a surprise." James caught the apple and wiped in on his sleeve. "I can't believe I'm going to move into a place of my own."

"I can't believe it took you so long. You moaned for years about your parents and you finally get a chance to move out, but you choose to stay. You know what I have to say on that? She has got you twisted so much you'll bend over backwards to indirectly please her."

"I don't want to talk about it," James said sullenly. He thoughtfully crunched on his apple for a few moments before continuing, "Besides, at least I don't hate my parents like you do."

"I don't want to talk about it," Sirius mimicked, and he too looked rather grouchy.

"Fine. Wanna go check out my new house?"

"Have food in it yet?"

"Yep."

"Let's go."

When the Hogsmeade weekend did finally arrive, Lily was buzzing with anticipation and curiosity. Her friends noticed her change in demeanor and commented on it several times. Even Professor Flitwick mentioned it when she kept checking the clock on Friday afternoon. Although nobody could wring her plans out of her, everybody knew James was involved.

On Saturday morning, Lily was the first one up. She was also the person who spent the most time in front of the girls' mirror arranging her hair and clothes. "Do I look okay, Millie?" she finally asked breathlessly.

"You look lovely, darling."

"Thanks. I'm going to go, then. Do you want to walk with me?"

"Me? Walk with you? Do you mean Mr. Marvelous isn't coming to meet you at the dorm window to whisk you away?"

"Ha ha. Let's just go."

They did go, and many people tried their best to keep an eye on Lily once she arrived in Hogsemeade. Millie followed her until Lily finally lost her in a washroom, and several girls invited her to lunch or to go shopping. James was right, though; she was easily lost in the crush of The Three Broomsticks.

She winded her way through the crowd, squeezing between people vying for Rosmerta's attention until a final shove landed her very close to the fireplace and James.

"Alright there?" James asked with his usual sarcasm.

"Barely. I think I have a crushed instep now."

When a couple of raucous boys threatened to do further damage to her bone structures, James pulled her closer to him. He also felt it was a good enough excuse for a more than friendly kiss. "Ready to go?"

"Yes. I don't think I can wait another second!" she laughed. She stepped through the fireplace, and at his direction, ended up in a rather cute little house. "Where are we? This isn't your house. That's actually where I thought we were going."

"Actually, this is my house. I bought it about a month ago. Let's go on a little tour, shall we?"

James led her through the various rooms and pointed out what he considered the more impressive aspects of the small house. It was two levels with a kitchen/dining room combination, living room, and upstairs and downstairs bath, and two bedrooms upstairs.

"It's so cute! I can't believe you actually chose it yourself? Did somebody help you?"

"Just the agent. It's really not anything too marvelous, but I wanted to be independent from my parents. I sort of like it."

"Did you furnish it, or did it come this way? It's precious!" Lily exclaimed when she saw the cheerful furnishings in the living room. She saw a cream striped couch and asked, "May I sit down?"

"Go ahead. Do you want a sandwich? I have bread and meat and cheese and some nasty molded crap."

"I'm scared now. I can envision a trip to the hospital wing after consuming some molded stuff."

"I would scrape the mold off before I gave it to you."

"Stop!" she laughed, and decided to follow him into the kitchen to make sure the molded food was thrown away. The deli meat turned out to be the molded stuff, so instead of sandwiches, they had potato chips and some cookies. "Have you moved in yet?"

"Yes, but only this week, so I haven't had time to completely trash it yet."

"Yet. What exactly do you eat?"

"Molded bologna," he said seriously, and both of them cackled. "Actually, I generally eat out. I can't cook to save my life. I tried a couple times and set some things on fire. Once it was my pants."

Lily was laughing so hard she almost didn't comprehend what he said next.

"I actually brought you here because I wanted to ask if you wanted to move in with me."

Thinking he was joking, she patted his hand and went to refill their water glasses. "I can't cook, either, James. I'm barely capable of putting a sandwich together. One time I cut myself with a butter knife."

"We could eat out, and I'm being serious. I know you were planning on going to Italy after you graduate, but I'm here now. I think we need a chance together." James said slowly, and he could see the hesitation all over her face. She was watching him warily as if she expected him to jump out and bite at any moment.

"Is this a sudden decision on your part?"

"I've been thinking about it for a long time. I realized how much I needed you when you broke up with me, and I felt it all over again when we began seeing each other the second time. Please consider it. You don't have to decide now or tomorrow or anytime soon for that matter."

"I really don't know what to say. I…This is a very big step for me. More like a leap followed by a bound."

James watched her gulp a glass of water and decided this just wasn't working out. "Why don't we go back to Hogsmeade and eat a real lunch?" For a very long moment he thought she was going to refuse to even do that.

"That would be lovely," she said finally.

The two of them went back to town and sat down at a secluded table at Caprice's. Caprice herself was their waitress. She kept giving James questioning looks with her eyes darting from James to Lily and back again until James finally shot her a decidedly quelling glare.

Lily started a rather pointless conversation, and it was rather obvious to James she was just trying to put aside the awkwardness of her indecision. After some pointless chattering (he tuned that out) she moved on to general questions about his house.

"Where, exactly, is your house?"

"Grantham. That's in Lincolnshire."

"How nice."

"Have your parents seen it?"

"Yes, they rather liked it, I think."

"How wonderful."

And that's how their conversation went for the next little bit. It was a relief for Lily when it was finally time to go back to Hogwarts. Her nerves were strained and her mind was racing. She had hours of thinking ahead of her.

James thought it was probably a bad thing she would be leaving without even swaying slightly in his direction. That is why he suddenly made his last move, one he had nearly talked himself out of. While they were on their way back to the carriages and the crowd jostled them without noticing, James stopped her. "Take this and think about it. It goes along with the house."

He pulled her hand from her pocked and put a small box on it and he nearly laughed at the way her green eyes comically widened at the sight of what was obviously a ring box.

"Owl me when you have made your decision, and I'll meet you in Hogsmeade again."

Lily held the box in one hand and James's hand in the other as they continued walking back down the street. They were near the carriages before she finally spoke. "James, do you love me? It's something I would really like to know before I made my decision."

"Of course I do; I wouldn't have asked otherwise. I have no desire to have a marriage like the one my parents share."

"From you, that's rather reassuring."

"It was meant to be," James said lightly. Really, though, every muscle in his body was tense with nervousness. He was beyond terrified that Lily would refuse his offer.

When they finally reached the carriages drawn by the horses invisible to Lily, they paused silently together, each thinking their own thoughts.

"Despite being surprised out of my wits, I had a rather nice time today," Lily said finally. She swung around to watch James as he answered.

"I'm glad. Despite having my proposition put on hold, I had a rather nice time, also."

Lily grinned before mocking, "I'm glad." She sighed and looked around, "I wish I didn't have to go back."

"If you decide not to," James said with an impish smile, "at least you definitely have someplace to go now."

"I suppose you're right. All the same, I better get going. I'll owl you as soon as I decide. Are you upset with me?" she asked with a frown.

"Not so upset I won't kiss you goodbye."

"That's always good to hear."

He did kiss her goodbye, and she had made a few steps toward a carriage before turning around and walking back into his arms. The stood there for several minutes with their arms wrapped around each other.

For several minutes, the world seemed perfect for each of them.