Disclaimer: I still own nothing (but I'm still having dreams about Remus, my sister says it's not normal, is it…?)
A/N: The chapter for which you've all been waiting for, and extra long too, I'm very proud of it actually, so let me know what you think.
Blood of a werewolf
Chapter 7: Remus
The next morning, at dawn, Tonks was suddenly pulled from her slumber by Firenze, who was shaking her lightly. He offered her a handful of berries as breakfast and soon the both of them were on their way, searching for Remus.
I hope we find him soon.
Tonks couldn't help feeling very worried about him, lying somewhere in the forest, wounded and alone. And naked, Merlin, I have to see him naked. Her face flushed for a moment, but it subsided soon as she reminded herself of the fact that he would be hurt and probably unconscious.
Tonks had no idea how she had to find Remus, but luckily for her, Firenze seemed to know. It took them a little more than an hour, but finally they reached another small clearing, although a little larger than the one where Firenze had taken her the night before, and there Remus was.
He was lying near the opposite edge of the clearing, on his side, with his back to her. But even in that position could she see he was unconscious and when she approached him, she could see he was bleeding from a deep gash in his back.
Tonks crossed the distance between them at a run and knelt beside him. The wound in his back was bleeding profusely, and she didn't dare to roll him over, so she had to walk around him to see his front and when she saw him, she couldn't stop a gasp from escaping her mouth.
He was bleeding form several more wounds, on his face, his arms and his chest, but what was even worse, was the purple-blue colored spot on the right side of his chest and the odd angle in which his right arm lay. Obviously broken, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has a broken rib too.
New tears started to form in her eyes, but she stopped herself quickly and started to check over his wounds more closely, to see how bad they were, she had never seen him in a state as bad as this before. Luckily, most wounds weren't as bad as they seemed, the worst thing was probably the broken arm. Luckily he has no broken ribs after all, only bruised, which is actually bad enough.
Tonks tore her cloak to long pieces and used them to carefully wrap around his chest, to prevent dirt entering his wounds. Then she looked up to Firenze, who had approached them and stood now watching from a distance. "What now? I can't properly tend to his wounds here, I need water to clean them and a clean place for him to lie on."
"I'll bring you to his house, follow me."
Tonks quickly conjured a stretcher, carefully levitated Remus on it and again followed Firenze, leading her through the forest.
With the stretcher to carefully manoeuvre through the trees, it took them another hour to find Remus' hut. Tonks was astonished as to how he could live in this place for years and she wondered again why he never came back, but there were more important things to do right now.
After Tonks had carefully placed Remus on his bed, Firenze showed her where she could find fresh water. Then, the centaur bade her good day and left her alone with a still unconscious Remus.
Tonks spent the next three hours with cleaning out his wounds and trying to set his arm. Luckily, because of my clumsiness, my mother insisted I learned a lot of basic healing spells. When she was finished, she searched his hut for some clothes, found some pyjamas and made sure he was properly dressed. I'm sure he wouldn't be happy to wake up naked with me staring down at him. Come to think of, I'm not really sure he will even be happy to see me here.
Having finally completely finished with making him look presentable, Tonks took some time to study Remus. It had after all been five years since she hadseen him last.
He has gotten a lot more grey hairs during these years. And he is even thinner than he used to be, doesn't he eat? It must be hard to find some decent food here. I hope I can convince him to come back, not only for Harry or even me, but for his own sake.
Tonks softly brushed some stray hairs from Remus' forehead and smiled. It might have been five years, but one thing hasn't changed, he still looks gorgeous.
She was suddenly pulled out of her musings when Remus stirred and started to wake up.
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He was drifting through darkness, but slowly approaching a light in the distance.
As he slowly came to consciousness, the first thing he noticed was the softness he was lying on, it stood in sharp contrast from the hard ground on which he usually woke up after his transformations.
The next thing he noticed was the scent that reached his nose. A sweet scent, the scent of strawberries, but slightly different from the ones growing near his hut. Sweeter than real strawberries.
Her scent.
But that's not possible.
He wanted to shake his head to clear it, but that was when his brain and body fully connected again and the pain of his wounds fully hit him. He groaned. It was worse then usual, much worse. What had happened last night?
Suddenly, something soft, cool and wet touched his forehead.
A cloth.
He felt very confused. Who could be here?
And then he heard her voice, softly murmuring reassuring words. His heart skipped a beat.
It couldn't be true, she couldn't be here.
Finally, Remus found the strength to open his eyes, and looked back into the gentle gaze of Nymphadora Tonks. He tried to speak, but she put a finger on his lips.
Only then he noticed he was lying on his left side and he attempted to roll on his back, but Tonks stopped him with a gentle touch on his shoulder.
"Don't, you have a deep gash on your back and it's better if you don't put pressure on it," she said softly.
He stared at her and it took some time before her words really sunk in into his brain, which was clouded by both the pain and her intoxicating scent. He simply couldn't believe she was really here and he wanted to reach out and touch her, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Since he was lying on his left side, he tried to move his right arm, but a shooting pain coursed through his arm and he closed his eyes and winced.
He opened his eyes again when he felt her fingertips brushing over his forehead and sliding down his cheek.
"You have broken your right arm, I tried to mend it, but I'm afraid I'm not as good as madam Pomfrey." She smiled at him.
Her fingers were still caressing his face and her scent still filled his nose. He had longed to feel her touch and have her scent intoxicating him for so long that he couldn't stop the soft moan escaping his lips. He was glad she mistook it for a moan out of pain.
Tonks kept caressing his face, carefully avoiding the fresh cuts and murmuring words of comfort and reassurance. Remus felt his eyes droop. He was so tired and it had been so long since anyone had taken care of him like this. But he didn't want to sleep, not now Tonks was here, she could be gone when he woke up again.
"Sleep, I promise I'll be here when you wake up."
Reassured by her words, Remus sunk away in a deep sleep.
000
Tonks was worried. When Remus had woken up, she had noticed he was running a fever and he had seemed a bit delirious, but she had no idea how to bring his temperature down again. He had obviously been in pain too and she didn't have any painkilling potions to give him. The only thing she could do was to wait for him to wake up again.
Meanwhile, she decided to take a look around the hut and in what seemed to be his vegetable garden. Maybe she could find some food to prepare for when he woke up again.
That reminds me of something, the only thing I've eaten during the last two days were some berries, maybe Remus has some other kind of food here, I would certainly appreciate that.
000
Remus only woke up the next morning, when his fever had disappeared again. Tonks had been regularly checking over his wounds and replacing the bandages and by the time he woke up again, most of the smaller wounds had were almost healed and only the gash on his back, his bruised ribs and broken arm could still bother him. And they probably will, a lot. It's definitely a good thing werewolves heal fast.
When Remus woke up and saw Tonks, he looked surprised, relieved, confused and alarmed at the same time, but he didn't ask questions, at least not immediately.
Tonks helped him carefully sit up and helped him eat his breakfast. For a moment, he had looked like he wanted to refuse her help, but when the movement of sitting up proved to be very painful, he was forced to accept her help and didn't protest any further.
Eating proved to be tiring and when he was finished, Remus lay down again, but he refused to go to sleep again. Instead, he started talking, finally bringing up the questions that had been burning in his mind since he had first woken up to Tonks' then bright blue eyes (now, they were a soft hazel).
"Tonks, you're really here."
"Of course, if you hadn't figured that out already, I'd think you'd suffered some brain damage too."
Remus smiled. She hasn't changed a thing, it's so good to talk to her again.
"When I first woke up, I thought you were only a dream induced by the fever. Tell me, how did you get here? How did you find me?"
"I got some help from Hagrid, Grawp and Firenze."
Remus nodded, he had figured as much.
"Do you know what happened during the full moon? I've never been as bad as this time afterwards since I'm here."
Tonks looked uncomfortable. Has to pick the hard ones, doesn't he?
"I'll tell you later, alright? You should get some rest now."
Remus frowned. "Tonks," he warned, but she shook her head.
"It's a long story that goes together with why I'm here and how I got here. I promise I'll tell you after you had some rest." Although I'd rather not tell you at all. I know you're going to take it rather hard, even though nothing really happened.
They stared at each other for a moment and finally Remus nodded, he was tired after all, there was nothing wrong with first sleeping before hearing an apparently long explanation.
But what could have happened to make it that long though? For a moment, he tried fighting the sleep that was overtaking him so he could ask her that question, but the next moment he felt himself drifting away again.
I guess I'll have to find out later.
000
It was very late in the evening when he woke up again, it was already dark outside and the small hut was only lit by the light of the waning moon, falling through the only window.
Remus glanced around looking for Tonks and for a moment he feared he had only dreamed her there, taking care of him. But then her sweet scent reached his nose and he spotted her figureslumped in his only chair, if it wasn't for his werewolf-senses he wouldn't be able to see her at all in the dim light. Apparently she had fallen asleep while watching over him and he wondered how long it had been since she had last had a good night sleep.
For that matter, how long has she actually been here?
He watched her for a long time, content by the simple fact he could watch her. After all, it has been five years since I've last seen her and I have to make the most of the time she is here. Whatever might be the reason, she won't stay forever.
After an hour or something of watching her, he realised he was hungry and attempted sitting up. It worked out better than the last time he was awake, but his ribs were still sore and he couldn't use his arm. Standing up proved to be a lot more difficult, as soon as he stood on his feet, a wave of dizziness hit him and he almost fell down to the ground, he let himself fall back to the bed then. The bed groaned under his sudden weight and the noise woke up Tonks, who immediately came to his side.
Tonks checked over his remaining wounds quickly and provided them with some late dinner next (or early breakfast, depending on ones point of view), they ate in silence. After they had finished eating, Remus decided it was finally time to have some answers.
"Are you going to tell me now what has brought you here, Nymphadora?"
"Tonks, Remus, I would think you would at least remember that." Tonks rolled her eyes and Remus smiled. Despite some awkward silences at first, they had so easily fallen back into their usual friendly banter it seemed almost like it hadn't been five years and it felt good. I could get used to this.
Remus inwardly shook his head. I can't, it would be best if she left as soon as possible.
Sensing his change in mood, Tonks launched herself in her story quickly, before things could get awkward again.
"…and since Harry doesn't have much time left, I tried to find you as soon as I could."
Remus had listened carefully to her story and felt many different emotions course through him.
Relief that the war was over but guilt because he hadn't been there to fight alongside his friends.
Surprise at Kingsley being the new Minister of magic and gratefulness for the changes he had made.
But to his own surprise, the most prominent emotion was disappointment. He was disappointed because Tonks had come only to save Harry. I'm a fool for still hoping for something I can't have after all this time. He tried to compose himself before he spoke, but he couldn't keep the slight bitterness out of his voice.
"Well, that explains why you're here."
He hadn't meant for her to hear it, but apparently she had caught onto his emotions, or she could read his thoughts, but he doubted that.
"Don't be stupid, Remus, I've been looking for you for years, but I didn't have a clue about your whereabouts until a week or so ago, when I threatened Hagrid into telling me."
Remus felt his heart skip a beat, but ignored it. "I didn't want to be found and for good reason. It's safer for everyone if I live far away from society."
"Nonsense, you could be perfectly safe with the Wolfsbane Potion, you've done so at Grimmauld place for two years without any incident." She tried to sound firm, but Remus didn't miss how her voice sounded a little bit higher than normal or the slight tremble in it. He narrowed his eyes.
"What happened during the last full moon?"
She didn't answer and he felt fear coming over him.
"What happened, Nymphadora?"
"It's Tonks." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Remus closed his eyes and tried his hardest to stay calm, but it was obvious there was something she didn't want to tell him and the longer her silence lasted, the harder it was for him to suppress his rising panic.
He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Please, I need to know what happened."
Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I was in a hurry to find you. I had no idea how wide these woods were and I thought I would be able to find you before moonrise. I was wrong. You found me first, but it was after moonrise."
"I attacked you." He felt one of his greatest fears come true, he had attacked the one person he cared about the most. Unconsciously he let go of her hand, disgusted at himself. She probably really hates me now.
"Yes, but Firenze reached us before you could do harm me and he managed to chase you away. That's why you're so severely wounded, he had to hit you hard to get you off of me."
A heavy silence fell between them.
Remus was the first to speak again, looking at his hands, because he didn't dare to look Tonks in the eye, he didn't want to see the contempt that would probably be there. I don't think I can take that from her. "I'm so sorry, Tonks. You must really hate me now…"
Tonks cut him off with a sharp voice. "Stop that, Remus, of course I don't hate you. I knew what you were a long time before this and what happened is my fault. I knew it was a full moon that night and I knew you were here. I'm really sorry to put us through this, but nothing happened, so let us leave it behind us, all right?"
Remus looked up, incredulously. "Nothing happened? I attacked you, you could have been killed, and you would be, if it wasn't for Firenze. How can you say nothing happened? Do you see now why it is better I stay away from other people?"
Tonks shook her head. "As far as me is concerned, nothing did happen. Let's just forget this and move on. We should return to London as soon as possible, we've got only two days left. Do you feel ready to travel?"
Remus stared at the young woman with her now striking green eyes (to match her green hair). She still wants me to go with her, even after I attacked her? He shook his head.
"I'm not going with you, I think it is for the best if I stay here."
"But, Remus, what about Harry?" And what about me? Tonks thought, but she didn't say that.
Remus looked away, before answering. "I have a small vial here somewhere. You can fill it with my blood and put a conservation charm on it."
"So, that's it then. I finally find you after all these years, and you're going to just send me back?"
He didn't look at her, but the hurt was obvious in her voice alone. I can't do this, Nymphadora, if only you could understand. I wish I could go with you and take you in my arms and never let you go. But most of all, I want you to be safe, and you are not safe if you are with me. And I wish I could explain that to you. But he couldn't, so he only repeated, "It's for the best."
They sat in silence for a long while. Remus turned away from Tonks and Tonks staring holes in his back. The sun had come up and rays of light where cheerfully illuminating the insides of the hut, but they couldn't break through the heavy and sombre atmosphere that had fallen there.
Finally, Tonks stood up and started rummaging through the hut. With some effort, Remus managed to get up too and carefully made his way to his only closet, pulled open a certain drawer and took out a small vial. He silently returned to his bed and Tonks silently approached him, pulled her wand and made a small cut with it in his left arm, filled the vial with his blood, spoke a conservation charm on the vial and healed the cut. It all happened in perfect silence, without any word was spoken.
When Tonks was sure she had put the vial safely away, with enough protection charms on it so it wouldn't break, no matter how many times she would fall or let it drop, she turned back to Remus. She tried to make eye contact with him, but he avoided her gaze. Tonks sighed. "Well then. Goodbye Remus."
He only nodded in answer and with a final glance at him, she turned and left his hut. Just before she exited, he threw his own final glance at her, quickly trying to memorize again every little detail about her.
I'm sorry, Nymphadora, but it really is best like this. He lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. I only wish doing the right thing didn't hurt this much.
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Thanks to all my reviewers.