A/N: Thanks to Mimbulus for the "Ginny comforts Harry after scary dream" suggestion.

Chapter 11:

The Worst Dream Ever

The next night, it was neither Hermione and Ron nor Harry and Ginny who arrived in the computer room first but was instead Fred and George.

The reason that they didn't talk before Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione entered the room was that each of them always seemed to know what the other was thinking anyway. However, just as soon as the four teenagers did enter the room, Fred and George began to engage them in a rapid-fire conversation.

"We can't believe that you didn't ask us to help with your story!" said Fred.

"You know that we're highly creative, and sometimes rather bored, and those are the optimal qualifications for a fanfiction writer!" added George.

"Er... we didn't think of it," stated Ron.

"Nor did we know that you were literate," added Harry.

"Well, that's a mistake that anybody could make," conceded Fred.

"But we, obviously, also have access to fanfiction stories from the future, so we read your story, and we think it lacks certain things," said George.

"For instance, a certain creative vision, clever remarks-" began Fred,

"And nudity," added George.

"Er... well... we have a plan for this story, and we can't have you interfering," said Hermione tactfully.

"Really? You've got a plan?" asked Ron.

Hermione glared at Ron because apparently Hermione had been trying to make a convincing excuse.

"Right, so, we're going to help out with this chapter," said Fred, grinning at Ron.

"Oh, all right," said Hermione. "I suppose you can't do too much harm. We'll let you write this chapter. Just let us write the author's note first." And so Hermione began to write.

Okay, we'll just go straight to the responses for reviews of last chapter.

Lizztigger- thanks for the pumpernickle bread (that is fun to say).

RubberduckiesofDoom- Perhaps "The Wombat-Burgess Anarchy"?

Insanepyroshorty- Too bad you had to contain your laughter... By the way, the quotes in your penname bio are hilarious.

rockisrocken- thanks for the cliche, we'll use it a few chapters from now...

SpuffyWara#1fan- 200 e-somethings! Just what we always wanted!

GrimReaper'sAssistant- Seriously. Are you trying to give Mr. Weasley a heart-attack? He completely flipped out when he caught sight of our new e-gaming systems, but in the time that we had with them, we had fun with them too : )

hrrypttrfan- hmmm... we don't know what song we could put in here, plus isn't that against the site's rules?

lizzieizbizzie- We also especially liked the tictacs and the speech. We'll keep the "Aurora" thing in mind.

ashvaultrosegarden- Happy belated birthday. And definitely market the security systems.

obsessiveschottishdemocrat- Stupid has always been funny, and always will be.

Speaking of stupid... We apologize in advance for whatever Fred and George might write in this chapter. We'd try to stop them, but it's best not to mess with anybody who owns their own joke-shop.

With this, Hermione got up from the computer-chair and looked expectantly at the twins, who were rubbing their hands together.

"Right, well. We're really honored that your letting us do this and all..." started Fred.

"But we just want to warn you that some of what you see us type might offend you at first. But it will all be in good taste in the end, so we will appreciate it if you hold your objections until we've finished typing," finished George.

Ginny, Harry, Hermione, and Ron each nodded in a helpless manner as Fred and George began to type (Fred hit the keys on the right hand side of the keyboard, and George used those on the left.)

The next day, things got infinitely more interesting owing to more creative (though still healthily modest) authors. In order to allow these new authors the chance to exhibit their wit, the main characters will once again run into Draco Malfoy and begin a verbal sparring match.

Ron started the argument by saying, "Malfoy, was it lonely around your house this summer with your father in prison?" Admittedly, this question was not exceptionally witty, but that's because Ron isn't all that bright. Er, well... he's not stupid or anything, we just mean to say that he's not as bright as... his charming older twin brothers, for instance.

Malfoy responded cooly, "Not as lonely as the inside of your empty skull." Ouch. Okay, so Malfoy's actually one-up at this point.

"At least I haven't slept with Pansy Parkinson!" retaliated Ron savagely.

"First of all, you used that one already. Second of all, I really didn't have much of a choice in the matter. She had me in a rather, er... compromising situation involving a set of gobstones, an egret, and all of the Jacks out of a deck of cards. So, as you can see, I had to do basically whatever she wanted. But you seem to have started going with Granger of your own will, which is much worse than me being coerced by Parkinson."

It seemed as if Draco might actually win this battle of wits, so Hermione thought fast. She decided that she would perform a vanishing spell on... Draco's robes. Not because she was being unfaithful to Ron or anything, but simply because she had heard a rumor which she was curious about. She had heard that Malfoy was missing his... er.. bludgers, and she wanted to find out for sure.

Turned out, the rumor was true.

Malfoy quickly performed the "accio" spell to bring some replacement robes to him from the laundry room. Still he was caught rather off his game by the sudden loss of his clothes. As he quickly put on the newly acquired robes, he struggled to think of a good verbal comeback.

However, he was spared the necessity to do so because at that very moment, Harry realized that all the conflict that had been building between himself and Malfoy over the years was simply repressed sexual tension. Harry believed that, Bludgers or no, Malfoy was one sexy man. Thus, he promptly snogged him.

"What?" yelled Harry at this point in the story, unable to contain himself any longer.

"Oh, come on, you want this story to accurately reflect the average fanfiction story, right? And a lot of fanfiction stories have you and Malfoy hooking up. To not even give mention to the pairing in your fic is simply not representative of fanfictiondom as a whole. Besides, didn't we tell you to hold your objections until the end?" asked George firmly.

"But--" sputtered Harry. Then he left the sentence dangle there because he had once again made the mistake of beginning a sentence without an end in mind.

However, he was spared searching for one because at just that moment, Lee Jordan's head appeared in the fireplace in the computer room.

"Fred and George, you've got to come back here to the joke-shop now. The alpacas we've been testing on have started to act all... funny. A couple of them have started to sprout wings, and a few others have started to shrink. Ah, no! This one's done both!" shouted Lee as a miniature flying alpaca soared past his ear and into the computer room.

George quickly caught the flying mini-beast and flooed back to his shop, quickly followed by Fred, who said, "Well, I guess that's all we've got time to write. Good luck with the rest of the story!"

"So, they really do use alpacas for test subjects?" asked Hermione confusedly.

"It would appear so," said Harry, skeptically.

"So... we're going to delete what they wrote and start from scratch on this chapter, right?" asked Ginny hopefully.

"No, as I said yesterday, we can't use the delete key in fanfiction. We'll simply do what any self-respecting fanfiction writer would do in a situation where he or she wrote something that conflicted with the plot as they had wished it to develop. Reveal that it had all been a dream. Besides, this will give us a chance to use another of our reviewer's suggestions, and have Ginny comfort Harry after this dream, even though it starred Malfoy instead of the Dark Lord. However, as the twins didn't put any typoes in their section, we're going to have to make up for lost time. Ginny, do you want to type this part?"

"Sure," responded Ginny, as she began to type.

Then, Harry woke up. He looked over to find Ginny sleeping beside him, although in a strictly plutonic way. Not that we haven't already established that fanfiction Ginny is a prozatoot just, her brother wuz in thee next bed ohver.

At any rate, Ginny awoke almost immediately after Harry, on the grounds that she could sense that he had been having a frightening dream. "What is it?" she asked sweetly.

"I was having a bad dreem again," admitted Harry.

"About He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Ginny asked, concerned.

"No, about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Kissed. Unfortunately, in the dream, I kissed him anyway," Harry said ashamedly.

"Wait, who's he who must not be kissed?" asked Ginny, confused.

"Malfoy," responded Harry. "Although, there's several other hes who must not be kissed as well. Snape for instance. Or, well... any guy must not be kissed by me... You know, I'm just going to quit now, while I'm ahead."

"Oh. Harry. Er. How do I put this sensitively? You don't, er... You don't want to kiss him, do you?" asked Ginny.

"Whom? Snape or Malfoy? Wait. That was the wrong response. I don't want to kiss either of them. I like women. You particularly. And aren't you supposed to be comforting me rather than making me feel insecure about my masculinity?" ascd Harry.

"You can't blame me for your being insecure about you're masculinity, but I don't suppose it could hurt to try to cheer you up," said Ginny thoughtfully. Then, she kissed him passionately, and it was so good that he forgot all about the dreamt kiss he had shared with Malfoy.

"Ew... I don't know if your bit was any better than the twins'," stated Ron.

"Yeah, well, at least in this bit I was kissing the right person," said Harry.

"From the right gender, more importantly," agreed Ron.

"Anyway. It's time for the ending authors' note," said Hermione.

A/N: Right, so we're sorry about all that, we've basically lost this chapter then, but next chapter will be when the school term starts in earnest.

A/N from Gryffindor777: Er, right. Well. This chapter definitely isn't my favorite so far, but I'll read back over it once and decide whether or not to post it as is... Either way, let me know whether or not it sucked...