Deconstruction

Chapter Seventeen: Last Confessions

Kingsley was dressed in his finest Muggle style clothes. He wore a suit along with a fedora. He walked up to the hospital and asked to see Dr. White after flashing some official looking identification, claiming that he came from the Scotland Yard offices in London. Kingsley was admitted to seeing Dr. White who had returned to work after three days.

Dr. White offered him a cup of tea and a chair to sit on, which Kingsley accepted after taking off his hat. "It is good of you to see me, Dr. White."

"I am more than happy to answer a few questions for you. Things got a little crazy here," admitted Dr. White. "You see one of our doctors was murdered and someone had assumed his identity. I knew that someone would be coming to investigate."

"Yes, we found all sort of contraband materials in his desk," said Kingsley. That was why he had missed the last Order meeting. He had to go to the police station and clear up the situation with Oliver, and take all of the wizarding evidence. Kingsley did a memory wipe all of the people involved, except for Dr. White. It took careful looking to find out that she was the one who had been associating with an unknown patient who was tall and had red hair, blue eyes, and a slight build. "I was wondering if you had a patient who was a John Doe over the past couple of weeks."

"Yes, I did, but he was injured under the care of the imposter, so I'm afraid he had to be transferred out of this facility," she answered smoothly. "After that I think he was released. We don't keep people in hospitals forever unless we can avoid it."

"What I wanted to know was if he told you anything indicating if he knew about the imposter?"

Dr. White shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I made much of a difference. I took notes, but they aren't that helpful because he wasn't that forthcoming. I believe he was a victim of the system. Someone who was thrown into the system and never checked on. He never really told me anything and I can't release any other information that I have."

"I see," said Kingsley. He couldn't tell if she was lying or not, but Dr. White kept her eyes straight at him.

"I'm afraid that I wasn't much help to him. I didn't even get his name out of him," said Dr. White. "I wish I could offer more to help you." She leaned back in her chair. "I don't think that the imposter's sudden disappearance had anything to do with my patient." She looked like she was going to say something else, but her cell phone went off. "I'm sorry. It's a message for me to go out on the grounds. Are we done here?"

"Yes," said Kingsley. "Thank you for your time, Dr. White."

Dr. White and Kingsley got to their feet at the same time. She escorted him all the way to the entrance just before he went off, she said in a soft voice. "I hope wherever he is. He's at peace." He stared at her for a moment and with that she went inside. That was a strange thing to say. He walked up to the car and got inside.

It was one of the official cars of the Ministry and one of the official drivers. "Back to the Ministry. There's obviously nothing left here."

Hours later, Dr. White would dispose of all of the notes and paperwork. She burned it all in her fireplace. Despite, her reluctance, she burned the pieces of art that her patient had produced as well. The last piece of art that made it into the fire was the picture of the girl who resembled Ophelia from Shakespeare's Hamlet. She would never know the identity of the girl was. She remembered the last time she saw him.

He was already dressed and ready to go. "It's not safe for us to be together any longer. This will be the last time you will see me," he told her truthfully. "I am sorry. I regret that we don't have much time. I wish we did."

Gwen searched his eyes and found that he was telling her the truth. "What will happen to you now? Where will you go?" Her hand touched his cheek. He placed his hand over hers. "Whatever you're walking into…you're not alone."

"I know that," he whispered. "Listen to me carefully, you have to go to someplace safe. I don't know exactly what's going on, but stay there until you get word from me that it's safe for you to go back."

Gwen nodded. She stood up higher on her toes and kissed him on the lips. It was a soft delicate one. His lips were surprisingly soft. "You're no longer patient. I didn't break any boundaries just now," she whispered. "You helped me a lot more than you realize. You've helped me understand something that I haven't been able to for the longest time."

He didn't ask what it was. Rather, he held her in an awkward embrace. "I can't have anyone else get hurt. Not when I can do something about it. Promise me, you'll wait for word from me. I swear that you'll get it." He released her from his embrace. He studied the look on her face for a moment and then concluded, "You don't plan on continuing do you?"

"No, I don't," she whispered. "As soon as this is over, I'm done. I think it's time for me to search for my own dreams. And to find out who I really am."

"Maybe, then we'd just be ourselves," he agreed. "Thank you for everything, Gwen."

"You're welcome." He pressed his lips against her forehead with that they separated.

Gwen watched the last piece of art turn into ashes. He was right, of course, maybe one day they could simply just be.

Oliver and Tonks met together at the rooftop of Oliver's flat. It seemed like the best place to have a meeting. He had been the one to invite her and was somewhat surprised that she had taken him up on his invitation. She had Apparated to the roof before he even got there. It was already winter with the snow just beginning to fall.

She looked different with her hair up. "It's nice to hear that you got out of going to jail in the Muggle world," she said simply as a greeting. "I wish I could have done something for you, Oliver."

He walked up to her and was struck at just how beautiful she was. She was sad at the same time. The sadness showed the depth of her soul. He swallowed hard before he ventured to speak, "I'm more worried about you. There's no permanent damage done. Not to me. How are you really?"

"As well as could be expected," whispered Tonks. "I looked into the abyss and it smiled back. When I looked into Lestrange's eyes, there was nothing there. He had a soul, but it wasn't like it was depthless. Is it possible that he was born without a soul in the first place?"

Oliver said, "It sounds like something out of one of Percy's Muggle books. Some kind of Muggle philosophy. I mean the stuff about the abyss."

"Yes, it is," confirmed Tonks. "When I was growing up, I felt like that. I felt like I carried the stigma from my mother's family. I mean look at all of the horrific things that happened because of the Blacks."

"I'm afraid all of that stuff inside of me." She took a fearful glance at Oliver. "Look, what happened to Alistair. He was my cousin and look what happened."

Oliver placed his hand on her shoulder and said in a soothing voice, "That wasn't him. He fell victim to Lestrange. It wasn't because he was born into the family. No one is born to hate. One has to be taught how from a very early age. And from what you've said, in the end, he just couldn't hate anyone. He's like you. And sometimes those lessons just don't take for some very enlightened individuals like your mother."

"And Sirius," added Tonks. During their time together, she had told Oliver about Sirius Black. Oliver nodded. "But it's not that simple. I think that it's harder for someone like me to fight those impulses. Especially when you feel it inside you."

"But everyone has those impulses inside them. It's what happens to any individual that can force them in either direction," insisted Oliver.

Tonks glanced at him and nodded, "That's one of the things, I learned from all of this. I think that was when I started taking things so personally where Percy was involved. Someone had to help him. I felt like I had to be the one. Percy was looking into that abyss and someone had to pull him back. But in the end, he was the one who saved me."

She brushed something away from corner of her eye. Oliver wasn't sure if it was a tear or nothing at all, even though he was standing next to her. "You know Lestrange asked me why I was so concerned about Percy. He actually accused me of having feelings for him. I mean how could that be possible? During this entire time, I only met him once. I found him as I promised, but I didn't bring him home."

"You saw something in that you saw in yourself, Tonks," said Oliver. "That's what drove you in the end. You started to see all those good qualities in him that you have yourself. It's not a bad thing. If it had been someone else, Percy's disappearance would have never been really solved."

"It might have been fate," conceded Tonks, even though she was too much of a cynic to settle for something like fate. "Alistair was my cousin and I would have never known that had it not been for all of this. I was meant to dive into that part of myself. To face my own fears. I just hope that wherever Percy is that he's able to face his own."

Oliver and Tonks had told Dumbledore and the rest of the Weasleys, including Ron and Ginny who had come for the start of the holidays, what had happened. Percy's parents were faced with the reality that their son wasn't as strong as he had appeared and he was still vulnerable. The only proof that he was alive was Tonks' word which was verified by the Alistair's death notice in Percy's handwriting. He didn't even bother to try to cover it up or type it up.

After what had happened, Oliver was surprised to discover that an organization like the Order of the Phoenix existed and membership had been extended to him. At first, he was reluctant to accept it because it meant facing the Weasleys during the meetings, but in the end he accepted because Tonks was there. Oliver was uncomfortable with the gracious attention that Percy's parents gave him, especially Percy's mother. To them, he knew Percy best. That wasn't true. No one could really say they knew Percy best. At least not anymore. The only two people who did were dead.

"What happens now?" asked Oliver. "I mean what's the next thing."

"We go on," replied Tonks. "We don't have the time to grieve. There's a war going on. We mourn our dead and those loss to us and move on until we find the time to grieve. I don't know if Arthur and Molly will ever be complete. The void that Percy left behind is always going to be there."

"I don't know if he's dead or alive," Oliver paused, "but I'm sure that he's alive. He's just gone his own way. Like he always has. That's just the way he is."

"Then, we should accept it," said Tonks. "So, are you going to the next meeting?"

"Do I have a choice?" asked Oliver.

"No," answered Tonks with the closest thing to a smile to which Oliver returned with a real one.

"…ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. We return to the earth that we came from," concluded the priest as he made a blessing over the coffin. He closed the Bible and nodded at the sole person who came out to honor the dead. "Thank you," whispered the young man as the priest nodded again and placed his and on his shoulder as he walked off to get away from the cold.

He stood alone for a moment and placed his hand on top of the casket and closed his eyes in silent prayer. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that there was a shadow casting over him. Without turning, he said, "I didn't think you'd come."

"You asked for me to come, Percy. So, I came," responded a familiar voice from behind him. "I was wondering how you got out of there."

"I used Lestrange's wand," said Percy softly. "I destroyed it after I made all the arrangements for Alistair's funeral."

"Then, I should return your wand to you, then." Percy turned around and saw his wand being held out to him. "Take it. It's yours, Percy."

"Thanks for keeping it safe, Remus," said Percy as he accepted it. "I didn't know where else to send it to. What happened after I left?"

Remus launched into a lengthy explanation without much interruption from Percy who listened with silent acknowledgement. His eyes never seem to leave the casket during that time. Remus finished with a summary of the latest Order meeting. "So, who was that girl that Lestrange had? Is she all right?" asked Percy.

"That would be Nymphadora Tonks," replied Remus. "She was the Auror was sent to find you after your father realized that something might have happened to you. Had I know what he was up to, I would have covered for you right away. But you know sometimes I'm just not available to help."

"I understand," said Percy. "At least I understand that."

Remus nodded. "I've taken measures to do deeper background on the current agents we have on network. We need to insure that this doesn't happen again. You saved the Ministry twice over now because we were able to keep the foreign leaders as well as the Minister safe. The talks are now successfully close to conclusion."

"That's good," whispered Percy. "Did you keep me out of the official reports as always?" Remus nodded. "Good."

"Percy, I know how hard this has all been for you. I wouldn't want to go on either after all of this," said Remus. "What I'm saying is that I know what it's like to be in the same place as you. About six months ago, I lost a good friend of mine. The last out of the best set of friends I ever had."

"I just don't understand," whispered Percy as he swallowed something hard. "I don't understand why I'm still alive. I know how Alistair managed to keep me alive, but I still don't understand. I should be the one who's dead." It was the first time that Percy had really shown any of the deep emotions that were running through him since the suicide attempt.

"I wish there was something more, I could tell you," said Remus softly. "When I recruited you three years ago, it wasn't your academics and your exemplar records for leadership. Those were only part of it. It was your compassion that makes you a good agent, Percy."

"Alistair was always so afraid, and I never understood why, but I learned in the end," said Percy. "He wasn't the one who killed Penny. He may have done the physical action, but that was all Lestrange's hate. I always thought that Alistair wasn't strong enough for this work, and when Lestrange was saying that he was weak, I never denied it. But you know what? He was the strongest one out of the three of us in the end. I wish I could just understand why I'm still alive." He looked desperately at Remus for the answer, hoping that there was a reason for it.

Remus shook his head. "I'm still trying to understand it myself. I'm a werewolf. By all accounts, I'm the one who doesn't deserve to be alive. Yet, I'm still here. That is why I think we're still here. The only thing we be is witnesses to those people. To be the people that lives on. Someone has to be left behind. It might as simple as that."

Percy straightened up and put the wand in his pocket. "So, when will my next assignment will be?" he asked. It wasn't a question of what. One in their line of work never asked what kind of mission to expect, only when the next one would be.

Remus betrayed a small look of shock that only flickered for a moment as he nodded. "I would have expected you to quit after all of this," he admitted after a small silence.

"I didn't make it this far to quit now," countered Percy almost sharply. "If I quit now, then it means none of this meant anything."

Remus decided to give a reply, "I don't know when, but in the mean time what would you like me to tell your parents and the rest of your family?"

Percy took a deep breath and sighed. He was looked rather sober because of the question. "Tell them—tell them that I'll be fine," he said. "Tell them that."

Remus nodded, "Very well. Have it your own way. I suppose it is for the best. At least until this war is over." The look on Percy face disagreed with his last statement. "It will be over, Percy. They always end and we continue as we always do. That is how the Game is played. Always."

"And there are parts of it that will always happen again and again for some of us. It will never be over for some of us," muttered Percy. "That is the way things are as well. Thank you for your time today, Remus. I think I've had my fill of death for right now."

Remus nodded and together they walked away from Alistair's casket and grave without so much a glance. They continued until they got to the outside gates that bordered between the world of the living and the dead. The gate was useless because death had no borders and went wherever it pleased. Life had the very same power, but death had a way of overtaking it in the end. There was a place in between. A very same sliver of limbo that some precariously lived on.

When they reached the gates, Percy nodded and without so much a word, walked off down the street. Remus continued to watch him and looked away for just an instant. He didn't watch as Percy gradually disappeared from view. When he looked back, Percy had seemingly vanished into thin air. Remus shrugged it off and turned and walked back towards the world of the living.

AN: Some last insight on the characters. Thus, concludes Deconstruction. It is meant to end like this. Not a happy, nor a sad ending. Just an ending. Percy's not dead nor is he alive. He just is. I meant for Remus to be a minor, yet important key player in all of this. Yes, he indeed was the one who recruited Percy on his last year of Hogwarts to join the Game. Meanwhile, it seemed only fitting that Oliver join up with the Order. A semi-simple ending for a hard to write story.

There is no other story planned. If I get inspired by the next book, I might write something else. I'm too busy working on my own works now. I would like to thank my beta reader, sugar-sweetfairy, for all of her hard work on editing the story. And a big thank you to all the people who read and review this story. You people are the greatest.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This story belongs to me and cannot be posted anywhere else without my permission.