Notes to my reviewers (only two since I posted 2 chapters in the same day):

Amy Lampion and valentines-hater:
You'll see that Malfoy is such a humongous bighead git that he won't even know what he's got coming!! Just so you know also--I DIDN'T INVENT THE PLOT--it was Raymond Chandler and Billy Wilder who thought of it in 1944, I am just giving it a HP spin...and I am having a blast doing it!

Before I begin the chapter, I would like to quote Ron from the PoA movie...and if you want to know what I thought about it, then read my profile!

"She's gone mental, Hermione has! I mean, not that she wasn't always. But, now it's out there in the open for everyone to see."

Let me just say that in this story, no one sees Hermione's "mentalness" except for a select few...

Chapter 6: Malfoy's Signature

Ron didn't waste any time planning each move he and Hermione needed to take in order to succeed with their plan. This was serious business they were dealing with and Ron knew if anything fell out of place, they were sure to be caught. All day Thursday Ron thought about the events which were to take place in the upcoming weeks. The wheels are in motion, he thought to himself, there's no getting off this train. He just hoped that Hermione would feel the same way and not decide to back out of the whole deal.
"This better not take long, Weasley. I've got an important business meeting in the morning and I'm not staying up any longer than I have to in order to entertain you." Malfoy was sprawled lazily across the sofa in the drawing room of the Malfoy estate while Ron sat upright directly across from him in a side chair.

Ron was already in the midst of the first step of his plan, except he wasn't particularly pleased with Hermione's choice of witness for the accident insurance pitch since she had chosen—who else?—Miranda, Malfoy's fifteen year old daughter. But he supposed Miranda was the only one Hermione could find to witness the event without raising any suspicion from Malfoy. The two women sat across from each other near the window at a small table playing a quiet game of wizard's chess. Ron glanced over to notice that Hermione didn't stand a chance of winning against Miranda—but he held his tongue in offering any pointers.

"It's just some simple forms, Mr. Malfoy," Ron wanted to be formal in order to exude a certain amount of professionalism, "This shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

"Excellent, let's get to it then," Malfoy clapped his hands together and sat upright on the sofa.

As Ron rummaged through his portfolio looking for the papers, a crashing noise came from the direction of the girls.

"Ha! Checkmate!" Miranda yelled shrilly at Hermione, who didn't even change her facial expression over the loss.

Miranda then came stalking over to her father, "Daddy!" she said impatiently, "do you think it would be all right if I went out tonight?" Her tone was the classic Malfoy drawl that Ron had heard so often when he was a schoolmate with Malfoy.

"Don't bother me now dear, can't you see that I'm talking business," Malfoy didn't even look up at his daughter, "Now go on Weasley, what do I need to do?"

"Just to sign some forms, really, that's all. I'm just having a bit of trouble finding them," Ron was pretending to fumble through his portfolio, when really he was just attempting to buy some time. "We are very grateful at WICCA that you have decided to renew your broomstick policy...after all you can never be too careful..."

"Yes, yes, so where do I sign?" Malfoy was getting impatient even though Ron hadn't been there for more than five minutes.

"Daddy, are you going to listen to me or not?" Miranda was interrupting the conversation once again.

Malfoy waved his arm at her, "Quiet down child, what did I tell you about interruptions?" He then looked Ron square in the face, "I apologize for my daughter's behavior—she thinks she knows everything as a Ravenclaw..."

Oh yes, THAT must be why she was such a brat, Ron thought to himself but instead said, "That's quite all right Mr. Malfoy—now I've heard you are quite the business traveler these days, am I correct?" Ron continued still on shuffling through his portfolio to have enough time to get his pitch off to Malfoy.

"Every countryside you can image, I've most likely been there, but you would know about traveling much to other countries would you, Weasley? Not on your salary!" Malfoy smirked at him, and somehow Ron knew Malfoy was up to much more on his out of town visits than broomstick business. He bit his tongue as to not let an unprofessional comment slip out.

"Traveling is a dangerous thing these days, you know. Have you ever considered accident insurance? You know you wouldn't want to leave these two lovely ladies here without some sort of protection if you were to be injured for a time."

"I don't worry much about those kind of things, Weasley. I am a careful man and I am not all that prone to injury. Besides, I have the best healers in all of Britain on my side if anything were to ever happen to me. I'll just stick with the broomstick insurance for now—"

"—Daddy—"Miranda broke into the conversation once again, "All the girls are going down to the Broomstick Palace tonight, and I think I'm already going to be late!" The Broomstick Palace was an arena where the young witches and wizards would hang out and fly broomsticks together and socialize.

"The Broomstick Palace—"Malfoy finally acknowledged his daughter, "is that down off of Diagon Alley?"

"Yes, Daddy, please? Oh everyone will be there!" she was now kneeling by the couch begging Malfoy to let her go.

Hermione finally spoke up and said, "Let the girl go, Draco dear, summer's almost done—she won't have another chance to go broomsticking for a while." Hermione was at least lenient with the girl, mostly to get her out of her hair though.

"Fine, go on ahead dear," Malfoy really didn't care where she went either, but he felt the need to control her at times as well.

"Ahem," Ron started up again, "I suppose if you are satisfied with only broomstick insurance, I'll just have you sign here." During Malfoy's conversation with his daughter, Ron had managed to pull out two forms for him to sign. "Now you let me know if you change your mind about the accident policy all right?"

Just as Malfoy started to sign the form Ron was holding up for him on his portfolio, Miranda swooped down and kissed her father on the cheek and bounded happily out the front door.

"All done then?" Malfoy started to get up.

"Oh I almost forgot, the office is asking for two original signatures on renewals now, so could you just sign this duplicate form here as well?" Ron shot a quick look at Hermione as Malfoy scribbled his signature on the second form. She looked back at him grimly.

Malfoy sighed, "Fine whatever, now I'm going to bed," he stood up and stretched. He then made his way to the sweeping staircase just outside of the drawing room. Without so much as glance to Hermione, he added, "Show Weasely out dear, and then when you're done—"he paused for a moment, "—DON'T bother me."

"Right this way Mr. Weasley," Hermione said loud enough for Malfoy to head as he headed upstairs.

Hermione opened the door for Ron and glanced back to be sure Malfoy had made his way all the way up the stair before she followed Ron out to the front door step.

"When shall I start meeting you at the muggle market?" Hermione said to Ron in a hushed voice.

"Next week—all the paperwork should be ready by then. I won't have them send the declarations by owl post, I will deliver them straight to you. I'll be telling the office that Malfoy doesn't want his family to know about the policy."

Hermione nodded fervently, and before Ron could say goodbye she stepped back into the house and shut the door. Ron took a deep breath and marched down the stairs and out to the driveway. When he got into his car, he was startled to see someone sitting in the passenger seat of the car.

"Miranda? What are you doing?"

"Hi, Mr. Weasley! I'm sorry, but I've been waiting for you..."

"What?" Ron was thoroughly confused.

"I just figured maybe you could give me a ride to Diagon Alley—that is if that's the way you're going?" Miranda's whiny drawl now sounded like a clear and cheerful voice of a happy young woman.

"To go to the Broomstick Palace?" Ron was now getting in the car and tossing his portfolio in the backseat of the car.

"Er—yes..." Miranda was smiling at Ron with a sweet, yet mischievous grin.

"You're not going to meet your girlfriends there are you?" Ron asked her in a teasing tone.

"No...but you won't tell will you?" Miranda was giving Ron her best puppy dog face, "There's this boy I really like—Jack Chang, he going to be head boy at Hogwart's!"

They were now driving in the darkened streets of London, squeezing the ministry car in between rows of traffic. "Head Boy, eh? Pretty impressive, I say. But then why wouldn't your father want you dating the Head Boy?"

"He would never approve—he is so critical of everyone!"

"What about Hermione?"

"She knows—she was a professor long enough to be able to read teenagers, but she doesn't care—she would rather have me out of the house..." Miranda was now primping her hair in the flip down mirror on the car's visor.

Ron decided he better not talk about Hermione too much, to make sure it didn't look like he was too interested in her, "So you'll be what...a fifth year when term starts?"

Miranda's snobby behavior from inside the Malfoy estate had somehow completely subsided while she was in the car with Ron, "Yes that's right," she said eagerly, "and you'll never believe it but I've been chosen as a Ravenclaw prefect!"

"Is that right?" Ron was now smiling as he reminisced over his days at Hogwarts. "You know, Miranda, both your father and I were prefects starting in our fifth year at Hogwarts too. Oh and Hermione also..." Ron couldn't believe the conversation had drifted back to her name.

Miranda rolled her eyes a bit and pursed her lips together. Ron could tell she didn't like the mention of her stepmother's name. He decided he'd better just keep quiet as to not offend her. But then she perked up and started on a new topic.

"I'll be taking my O.W.L.s this year—I hope I can earn 12. It hasn't been done in quite a few years now..."

Knowing fully well that Hermione had been the last to receive 12 OWLs he decided not to mention it. "I earned 9 OWLs myself...I really didn't want to waste my time on Muggle Studies, or Ancient Runes, or Arithmancy (blegch!) and well, I kinda failed my Divination OWL..."

Miranda let out a short giggle, "Well I think it is all fascinating and all my friends in Ravenclaw really help motivate me to get top scores. To tell you the truth, I was actually quite relieved to be sorted into Ravenclaw house, and not into Slytherin like my parents. Actually came as quite a shock to both of them, but it does happen sometimes that a child gets placed in a different house than their parents."

Ron continued to drive and nodded his head intently as Miranda continued to rattle on about Hogwarts, "So Mr. Weasley, you are Sirius and Rose Potter's uncle, is that right?"

"Yes, that's correct, my little sister Ginny married Harry right after her seventh year at Hogwarts."

"I'm in the transfiguration club with Sirius and he seems very inclined to become an animagus...isn't that amazing?"

Ron thought for a moment about his nephew whom he only saw during Christmas holidays and then replied, "Yes, I think it runs in the Potter blood to desire to become an animagus." Then Ron thought about how strange it was for Potters and Malfoys to be friendly with each other.

"Here we are!" Miranda suddenly sang out, "Quick, pull over right here—there's Jack!" She then started rolling down the window and calling after her sweetheart whom they had just passed on the street by only a few steps. "Jack! Jack! Here I am! Come over this way for a moment, won't you dear?"

Ron looked over his shoulder to see a thin boy no taller than six feet walking hurriedly towards the car wearing a long black cloak and a scowl on his face.

"Jack, this is Mr. Weasley, he gave me a ride down here so I wouldn't have to walk—"

"—Get out of the car Miranda—you shouldn't be taking rides from strange men," Jack was now opening Miranda's door.

"Oh, don't be silly Jack. Mr. Weasely is an insurance man and he was just at the estate with my dad. He lives around here so I got a ride from him." Jack grunted.

"He's also the Potters' uncle! You know them, they're from Gryffindor...So he's hardly a stranger." By now Jack had pulled Miranda out of the car and was holding her firmly by the arm to escort her away.

Jack didn't say anything as he shot a nasty look at Ron, who didn't say anything—mostly because he didn't care much.

"Thanks for the ride Mr. Weasley! It was nice talking to you..." Miranda cried out as Jack slammed the car door and started dragging her along with him down the street.

Ron gave her a short wave as he watched the pair in his rearview mirror and they walked away down the street. 'Jealous little bugger, ain't he?' Ron muttered to himself thinking of how silly it was for Jack to be jealous of a thirty something old wizard giving a young girl a ride. He then proceeded to drive off thinking about how sweet and intelligent Miranda seemed, even if she was a Malfoy. Then Ron remembered the forms in the back seat of the car—the ones that were about to make young Miranda Malfoy an orphan. Ron tried to shake any thought of feeling sorry for Miranda because Malfoy didn't even seem to treat her properly anyhow. And yet, a guilty lump found it's way to Ron's throat and remained there as he sped off to his apartment.